//------------------------------// // Prepare for Combat // Story: The Rock in the Gulch // by Tatsurou //------------------------------// Once everyone finished laughing - and had ice cream, at Caboose's insistence - Tucker decided to raise a point that had concerned him from earlier. "So, what was that about the glowy weapon you mentioned in your message?" he asked, flourishing his energy blade. "You mean this, right?" "Yeah," Church confirmed. "Apparently, it's a relic of supreme importance to the race that built this place. That's...all I really know." "Then I know I'm going to like this race," he purred happily as he waved the blade through the air. "If this is their idea of a sacred relic, then they know what they're talking about." "They're also terrified of Maud, apparently," Texas pointed out. "As he said, they know what they're talking about," Maud added flatly. "I don't suppose you could tell us anything else about them, Gary?" Grif asked curiously. "Negative," Gary apologized. "I know nothing about the race that programmed me. They filled me only with information about the Great Destroyer and the race that would accompany them, the race that would bring ruin to existence. They called them Shisno." "Well, I can guess that's an insult," Church observed calmly, "but...what does it mean?" "The mess and destruction caused by the uncleansed leavings of the vile beast, more or less," Maud translated calmly. "The closest in English would be Bonnacon droppings." "...Bonnacon?" Simmons asked in confusion. "It's a mythical creature that's a cross between a horse and a bull," Grif explained readily. "It's pretty much immune to physical harm from weapons, and attacks with flaming poop. In the myths and Dungeons and Dragons, it's one of the worst creatures to encounter simply because of how gross it is to deal with." "...Bonnacon droppings is an accurate translation of Shisno," Gary observed calmly. "...100% accurate, as apparently the race that programmed me dealt with Bonnacons." "Next you're going to tell me they rode on the backs of dragons and crafted the Rings," Grif offered jokingly. "Only mechanical ones," Gary corrected. "I have no information on any connection with the Rings." Grif stared at the computer for a time. "I really want to be angry at that...but all I can manage is envious, because riding a mechanical dragon sounds totally awesome! And it even fits to use a slingshot from the back of one." "Well, Simmons' ice cream is rum cake flavored, so..." Church began carefully. "If I'm going to make Grif a mechanical dragon to ride, I need a motorbike to start with," Simmons grunted a little tipsily. "But I don't see a motorbike around-" Church held out his arm and the matter converters in his body constructed a Mongoose quad-cycle out of ambient energy. "Get to modding!" he instructed eagerly. "I want to see what you make." "Geronimo!" Simmons declared excitedly as he charged the vehicle. "I hope it ends up looking a little more awesome in bike mode when he's done," Grif murmured thoughtfully. Omega growled as he finished reattaching Lopez' head to his body again. Whatever had caused Doc to go flipping end over end like that had sent the robot's head flying off his shoulders, bouncing off the nearest wall, and slamming into his own foot. As humorous as it might have been to see from the outside, it wasn't humorous to Omega as he struggled to get his bearings after finding himself buried in spicy ice cream...for some reason. Cleaning it out of Lopez' circuits hadn't been fun either. "Well, this has been an unpleasant setback," Omega growled angrily. "Not only are the accursed Reds and Blues reunited, they still have Maud and now they can apparently attack us at range without warning! We must find a way to negate this advantage!" <"Perhaps the robot army we discussed previously, but were careful not to do so whenever narrative focus was on us so Maud wouldn't become aware of it before they were complete?"> Lopez suggested helpfully. <"They are ready for final tweaks before deployment."> "I have no idea why you're putting it that way, but that is excellent news!" Omega crowed excitedly. "At last, my time of victory is at hand!" <"What time frame would you prefer for your victory?"> Lopez inquired courteously. <"I need to know for the final tweaks."> "Frame? You can give me an exact time frame for victory?" Lopez nodded. <"Would you like a minute of victory? Hour? Day? Year?"> "I will celebrate this victory for centuries to come!" Omega declared emphatically. <"...and?"> "You aren't talking about how long I'll enjoy the victory for, are you?" <"Negative."> "Then make it a minute of victory that will be the longest in those miserable fleshlings' lives!" <"Affirmative."> Texas frowned as she felt something niggling at her awareness, as though her enhanced sensors were picking up something important but couldn't translate the data. "Anyone think we're missing something possibly important?" she asked curiously. "I honestly don't think anyone cares," Church responded as everyone gazed at what Simmons had crafted. The vehicle stood on two wheels, one right in front of the other, like a classic motorcycle. Closer inspection, however, revealed that what looked like double-wide wheels were actually two wheels pressed up tight against each other on a mobile axle, able to shift easily for any sort of terrain or landing. Braced over the front wheel were two spoilers stretching to the sides with what looked like fabric folded up inside them, but was actually a reactive energy material that used ambient energy to achieve lift when spread. Over the front wheels was a massive reptilian head design with glowing eyes and a plasma mortar launcher braced in the open mouth. The seat stretched up in the back with straps that automatically extended or retracted when the vehicle started or stopped. An even larger spoiler that was plainly a tail stretched back from the back, waving on its own. "That...is...AWESOME!" Grif squealed out excitedly. "But why is it Blue?" Sarge demanded angrily. It was true, the cycle was a bright sapphire blue. "Maud insisted," Simmons explained readily. "Fair enough!" Sarge agreed. "What's it called?" "...The Dragonlord..." Maud breathed calmly. "So...awesome..." Grif purred as he got into the seat and grasped the handlebars.