//------------------------------// // Session 82 // Story: Ponies and Dragons (Just Have Fun) // by Alex Warlorn //------------------------------// Session 82.0 Alex Warlorn (Spoilers for 'Mean Six'.) "I DON'T UNDERSTAND! IT MAKES NO SENSE!" Vice President Chrysalis wailed. "Normally music to my ears, but not so much in this context, what seems to be the problem?" Lead programmer Discord asked. "I collected behavior and sample data from six of our most avid players, and created six AI controlled Player Characters, so we wouldn't have to keep paying interns to role-play as changeling infiltrators for the Crystal Empire raids... but the moment I ran their programs, they all acted the OPPOSITE of the sample behavior data, and within nanoseconds wanted to try and conquer the internet, and then they accidentally caused the server they were on to explode and all six were deleted by the debugging program! IT MAKES NO SENSE! If they acted like exaggerated or shallow versions of the players they were based on then at least that would would be logical!" Head Programmer Discord asked, "So... did you hire those three stupid system crackers so you could have it done cheap?" "... Maybe?" Session 82.1 Grogar-the-oneser with edits (Spoilers for 'Mean Six'.) "DAMNIT!!" Chrysalis roared as she stomped into her castle pissed off. "So... how was the fight?" Glowworm asked. "THERE WAS NO FIGHT! I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO TAUNT THEM FACE TO BLOOD FACE!!" Chrysalis snapped. "Really? what about the clones." "Those treacherous cockbites! They listen to Clone Twilight try to kill me! Which I can't deny respecting but still. At least that tree reveal some defenses and kill those suckers before I have to... that reminds me." She use her magic to reveal oddly color logs. "Throw these in the fire, I want to see these burned, especially the purple one." "Wait... why did they all betray you?" Glowworm asked confused. "Cause to make sure I didn't get clones with exaggerated personality or character flaws that would ultimately either give me beings that get an F in minion or betray me to be good guys I did a complete 180 on all the clones personalities." "Really? Cause considering Twilight usual personality and demureness of being seen as to overpower-" "I'M FULLY AWARE I SHOULD HAVE SKIPPED HER WHEN I DID THE OTHERS!" Chrysalis snapped, but gave a sighed "If you excuse me, I have to read some pulp fiction to calm me down. The only good side of today was that no one outside of this hive was aware of this plan." Meanwhile the changeling who pretended to be Fleur was spewing his heart out on all of Chrysalis plan and her order to go nuts (hence the recent changeling attack and crimewave) so they wouldn't get gutted like a fish. Of course he hadn't been told a single thing about the photographs, the clones, or trying to steal the Elements, just that Chrysalis had told her changelings to go wild. Then fled screaming when they began talking about 'redeeming' him. Session 82.2 sonicandmario826 Chrysalis realized something, "Wait a minute I was never defeated or 'reformed'. THAT FORTUNE TELLER WAS A LOAD OF CRAP!!!" Meanwhile in Las Pegasus The fortune teller was just arriving into town with a wagon full of bits and expensive Changeling relics. The fortune teller took off a mask revealing it to be Flim. "Well brother of mine I do believe that was a successful scam." Flam got out of the wagon just finished counting their loot. "Indeed brother. Let's go back to the casino and put this with the rest of our profit." Session 82.3 Ardashir "Don't CrystalSoft seem ta have a lot of these cons?" Rainbow Dash asked as she walked alongside her friends to the Masquerade. She stepped aside with a shudder as two rather hefty fans dressed in very poorly done unicorn suits passed her by. "I mean, this feels like the fourth or fifth one this year." "Tell me about it," Applejack grumbled beside her. "Sometimes Ah feel like we've been in high school forever." Someone costumed as a bat pony hurried past her. AJ made sure the wings didn't knock her hat off. "An' may Ah know just why we're going ta a costume show? Ah thought ya didn't like them, Rarity." "To answer your question, Rainbow Dash," Rarity said as she strolled along, starry-eyed male fans holding doors for her, "CrystalSoft apparently knows how to, ah, spin the bad publicity so they don't take any damage to their reputation." She thanked the boys at the doors with a flutter of eyelashes. They stepped back looking poleaxed. The girls hurried through, with Pinkie Pie waving her hand before the boys' faces to see if they reacted. "And as for you, Applejack, normally I'm not a fan of these 'masquerades', but," her eyes twinkled, "a friend of ours will be competing in this one. Oh!" She spoke to several boys between them and the room, a large auditorium. In a soft voice, she said, "Would you gentlemen be so kind as to let us in?" They backed away smiling broadly. Rarity sashayed past them. The rest followed, with Applejack rolling her eyes. "Ya have ta lay it on that thick, Rarity?" Rarity sniffed. "There's nothing wrong with using one's natural grace and beauty to smooth things. As I was saying, a friend of ours will be competing here." "Ooh! So Sunset or Twilight?" Pinkie looked around. "It can't be Starlight, because she's over there --" The girls looked to see Starlight and Sunburst chatting as they walked away down the hallway. They both looked as though no one else existed in the world but them at that moment. Rarity sighed in mixed admiration and envy. "And, um, I see Wallflower," Fluttershy said and waved to her. Wallflower looked up from her cell phone (she was speaking with Screwball) and shyly waved back. Fluttershy looked ahead to the masquerade room. "I actually kind of like these. It can be fun to pretend to be someone else for a bit, especially when no one knows it's you. And it's kind of funny to see how everyone acts." "Ah see what ya mean," Applejack smirked and jerked a thumb back over her shoulder. They looked and saw what appeared to be a Diamond Wolf -- a black-and-grey one with the proverbial hourglass figure. She swayed up to the door in a fashion obviously meant to be seductive. The guys laughed until she lightly chucked their chins, and then let her through, staring after her wide-eyed as she walked in, hand on hip. 'She' wore a blue flamenco dress that looked vaguely familiar. Fake and large gemstones glittered at her ears and around her neck on a collar. AJ, Dash, Fluttershy and Pinkie all jumped when Rarity near shrieked beside them. She grabbed at her hair as though ready to yank it out by the roots. "WHAA-AAA-AAT? My commissioned dress! I was told it would be for a beauty contest, not, not this!" "Gee, I dunno," Dash was fighting not to laugh, hand at her mouth. "Those guys seem ta think she's plenty beautiful." She finally broke down laughing as the 'she-wolf' strutted her way through the crowd towards them. People wolf-whistled and cheered as she went. Rarity stood still, one eye twitching, until the 'she-wolf' stopped before them. She posed and somehow oozed an air of smug satisfaction. "Hi girls," Twilight's voice came from within the suit, followed by, "Rarity! Thanks for the dress and the suggestions on the costume jewelry. I think now I know why you enjoy having so much male attention. It really gets intoxicating, doesn't it?" She turned and gave a little wave to the guys. They cheered again and she mimed embarrassment. She turned back to them. "Hey, since I'm competing, I can get you all front row seats!" She headed for the stage, and several guys followed her, elbowing past Rarity without even noticing her. "Intoxicating is the word I'd use to describe someone right now," Rarity choked out, a vein on her forehead throbbing, as she followed them. The rest of the girls were fighting down laughs to see their scholarly friend being the focus of so much attention. Rarity near snarled, "Upstaged by a, a cartoon character!" "It happens around us more often then you'd think," Pinkie said in a voice of total innocence. Session 82.4 Alex Warlorn The creators of the popular and insanely hard rogue like civilization fantasy game Diamond Dog Fortress (still technically in alpha) were confused when they began to hear ominous stomping ... Like an angry dragon or something was coming to pick a bone with them. The door to their office was kicked down, revealing a very angry Pinkie Pie. "WHERE ARE THE CLOWNS?!" "Uh... what?" "WHERE ARE THE CLOWNS?! Your game promised a circus and clowns waiting at the bottom of the world if my dwarves dug to the very bottom of the world! ... The only reason I played your hard game made of little letters is because when I asked what was so fun about you, they said they were clowns and a circus at the bottom of the world! I dug into Hell, I cleared out every last demon, I scoured the entire underworld, AND THERE IS NO CIRCUS AND NO CLOWNS!" "... But... but... the whole 'clowns' and 'circus' thing are just code words for the demons and the underworld, so new players aren't spoiled by their first demon horde when they dig too deep... wait... what do you mean 'cleared them out' ... the demons are supposed to be infinitely spawning!" "Yeah, it took a long long time." "But! It's not MEANT to be take a 'long long time' it's meant to be impossible to eradicate all the demons!" "Well I did! And I'm not happy! I'm suing you for false advertising! YOU PROMISED ME CLOWNS! AND I WANT CLOWNS!" Session 82.5 Alex Warlorn "DISCORD!" Programmer Discord groaned again, he knew Vice Company President Chrysalis' angry voice by now. "I'd ask if you're insane, but that's a moot point, but are you stupid too?! This drop for that beta dungeon your threw together to play test some of the new features for Ascension... it grant unlimited use of Polymorph Self, and Baneful Polymorph, and even has admin privileges to the in-game day/night cycle: this Crown of Majesty, is completely broken!" "Don't worry! I just threw that in there so the dungeon didn't crash! It's a joke! It's impossible to actually get! And I've already closed that test dungeon! So none of the players can get their hands on it!" "Uh, daddy... you know that boss that was supposed to be unbeatable?... Raid party managed to grab beat it, and one player ninja'ed the crown before you shut down the dungeon..." "WHAT?! WHO?!" -- In her castle, with the computer Discord had given her in hopes of, blech, reforming her, Chrysalis laughed. Fairest of Them All Has Equipped 'Crown of Majesty' Use Polymorph self. In game 'Fairest Of Them All' became a white unicorn with blue hair, purple eyes (it's always purple), and even came with the covetedpay option of creating your own cutie mark of free! She gave herself give glittery blue flowers with four leafs each. Polymorph self also came with the option of changing what name other players saw: Chrysalis typed in 'Majesty.' "Look out World of Horsecraft! I'm going to play havoc while waiting for Ascension to be released!" Session 82.6 Mtangalion When she wasn’t busy waving and offering picture-perfect fake smiles to people wandering around the big Ascension event, CrystalSoft Vice President Chrysalis typed furiously on her laptop, analyzing the logs from the raid group that had taken that blasted crown. "Our in-game jewelry thief certainly displayed some impressive tactics," Chrysalis mused. "Why, I couldn’t have pulled off the heist any better myself…" Then she froze, noticing Pharynx and Thorax carrying an extra table out to the convention floor. "What… is that you’re wearing?" "Oh, those?" Pharynx himself looked somewhat embarrassed by Thorax’s t-shirt… a rainbow tie-dyed eyesore with an equally colorful CrystalSoft logo. "Yeah, my lame brother and some of the other office drones thought those would build team spirit or something." Chrysalis took slow breaths through clenched teeth. "This is an official event, Thorax. You should wear the official team shirt, like your brother!" She pointed at Pharynx’s t-shirt, which was solid black with the company logo in edgy neon green. Thorax blushed. "But ma’am, I think these new shirts really do promote a spirit of sharing, and…" Chrysalis jumped out of her chair, pointing imperiously. "Off with them, I say!" Across the convention floor, someone in a full body bipedal griffon suit gasped. "Take off our clothes?" came Gabby’s muffled voice from inside the costume’s beak. "Okay!" She reached to pull the adventuring armor off her costume. "Not us, birdbrain," said Gilda. She was strolling around griffoned-up in full view of everyone, mallet slung over her shoulder. Applejack narrowed her eyes. "Nice ‘costume.’" Gilda grinned smugly, adjusting the straps of her leather harness. "Yeah, I know, I make this look good." She blinked, noticing another fursuit that stood out among the many pony costumes. "Hello…" This fursuit was a snowy white Diamond Wolf male with a fancy gold collar and an elaborately fluffed mane, and whoever was inside padded right up to Twilight, still wearing *her* Diamond Wolf fursuit. "What’s this?" he rumbled, waving his hands in exaggerated surprise. "We both wore same thing to party! One of us must change! Joke, joke! Good to meet fellow wolf!" If costumes could blush, Twilight’s would have been blushing something fierce, the way she gasped, and clasped her paws to her muzzle. Session 82.7 Grogar-the-oneser "What are you doing! I gave you permission to dress in a way to promote and you dress like that!" Sombra yelled. "But sir-" Thorax stated. "CHANGE Your outfit!" "Why are you still wearing that embarassing outfit!" Chrysalis snapped. "Well ya see-" "CHANGE YOUR OUTFIT!" Thorax sighed, "This is going to be a long day." Session 82.8 Ardashir Spike the dog said pointing at Sci-Twili in her costume, "Hey, Twi, just so you know, minus those over-developed and misplaced teats you look good by dog standards." "Uh, thanks, I think?" Session 82.9 Mtangalion Lead Developer Discord paged through the notes on his phone anxiously. "Killer opening monologue, check... New starting area videos for the Thestrals and Deer, check... Armies of Tirek teaser... Castle of the Two Sisters Lost Catacomb preview..." He glanced up, frowning mildly at all the costumes. "When exactly did this become a furry convention?" "I thought you enjoyed a little chaos," said Radiant Hope sweetly, as she slipped a headband with a mismatched horn and antler onto him. She was wearing a headband with a unicorn horn herself. "Absolutely, if I'm the one causing it," quipped Discord. Session 82.10 Alex Warlorn "Ya can't force ponies to be yer friends, it doesn't work like that," Applejack explained. In response, the little violet puffball threw a transparent glowing heart at Applejack. It burst into sparkles that surrounded Applejack who began grinning. "Yippie friend, Ah'm ready to help save dream land!" Applejack smiled and hopped in behind the little pink puffball. - "You were right Applejack, that enchanted comic was actually really refreshing!" Starlight Glimmer said with a smile. "Whatever ya say Starlight Glimmer." Session 82.11 Mtangalion The lights in the convention center went down, and ominous gypsy violins began to play. The big theater screen came on, black with golden subtitles… (CrystalSoft presents) Sketchy animatic-style images began to appear, depicting a castle in the midst of a sprawling forest. "One thousand years ago," spoke a deep male voice, "our Lady of the Night reigned!" The music swelled, and the images shifted to a courtyard, where Princess Luna stood in darkly majestic armor, speaking to a gathered crowd of pegasi, then rearing up, casting powerful magic on them! The pegasi writhed in painful transformation, suddenly grinning with gleaming fangs and unfurling batlike wings! "Our Princess gave us new life, and our lives were Hers, for good… and for ill." Several scenes flashed by, with a roar of clashing armies in the background… thestrals battling solar guards, ponies in medieval dress fleeing in terror, Celestia clashing with Nightmare Moon and striking her down! The moon, high in the sky with the Mare in the Moon upon it. The music turned quiet and somber, and the scene became a marketplace, with a cloaked pony slipping through the crowd, and trying to buy a few loaves of bread at a market stall. "Generation after generation, we both longed for our Lady’s return… and dreaded it." Someone in the crowd accidentally jostled the cloaked pony, revealing batlike wings. Ponies gasped in fear, a foal screamed, and angry voices and hooves were raised. The thestral fled the village, her head hung in shame. Images swept past rapidly, suggesting turning pages and changing seasons. Nightmare Moon, cackling and promising night eternal. A band of brave adventures, storming her castle, then battling her in the ancient crumbling throne room. Princess Celestia embracing Princess Luna, both smiling and weeping. "To those brave souls who bore the Elements of Harmony and restored our Lady… we owe more than words can say." The animatics faded away, and a new scene appeared, rendered like the in-game art: The sun setting, and the moon rising, clear and bright. "Now, we once again take our place beside our brothers and sisters of old, the ponies of the sun! No longer pawns of darkness, but standing proud in the moonlight!" A group of thestrals tending a thick bank of clouds moved them aside, so the moonlight could shine down into… The dark music swelled heroically, and the camera swept down through the clouds, revealing a hidden city… a great stone keep surrounded by three rings of homes and shops, boldly lit by torches and glow gems! (HOLLOW SHADES) The music turned whimsical and more scenes around the city were revealed… Thestrals in a tavern, laughing and joking and knocking cider mugs together. Thestral foals, happily kicking a ball and playing with wooden swords, unafraid. More thestrals peacefully milling around and doing business in a market… while a slightly lost group of foreign adventurers watched. The unicorn getting green and nauseous, realizing that some of the vendors were selling cooked meat, while the zebra held her nose, and the griffon and the diamond wolf party members licked their chops. Thestrals in armor, patrolling the streets and skies. Thestrals showing off different class skills as they fought monsters and bandits. A squad venturing into the woods, only to scramble right back out with an Ursa Minor on their tails. Then thunder boomed ominously, and creepy foals appeared in a shadowy forest glade, floating in a circle. "Won’t somepony come play with us?" asked one. Another said, "Hehe! It won't be long before the shadow of the Nightmare can rise again!" "Not while we stand watch!" boomed the male thestral voice from before… a guard captain with a spear, and many more armored thestrals standing behind him. Princess Luna herself landed beside them, acknowledging them with a regal smile and nod, and the squad thumped their shadowy spears on the ground. "We are the children of the night! We are THESTRALS!" Lead Developer Discord jogged onto the stage as the video faded out, basking in the hearty applause of the convention crowd. "Thank you, thank you! That’s just the start of what we have to show you today!" In the front row of the audience, Terramar shouted, "When can we play sea ponies?! And hippogriffs!?" Discord shrugged, hands in pockets. "As our new thestral friends would say, bite me!" Session 82.12 Alex Warlorn "Hey..." Button Mash said in class, looking up from his Joyboy. "You ever get the feeling that the universe doesn't care what happens to you anymore? That it's done with you, and you're supposed to politely fade into oblivion and the universe now has those it would rather be focusing on?" Cheerilee's class could hear the shouting and cheers, and yells from Princess Twilight Sparkles' Friendship School all the way from here, in particular it's six premiere students. "I wasn't going to say anything, but yeah," Silver Spoon admitted. "Well, mom always did say 'may you live in interesting times' was a curse." Diamond Tiara admitted. "Well... Apple Bloom and the others don't really hang out at school with us anymore... they just tutor at Twilight's school now... " Twist admitted. Archer added. "Any idea on WHY Miss Cheerilee was talking about the history of turnips? I means, what course was that even FOR? It's like she picked something so insanely boring and meaningless that no pony would question Apple Bloom and her friends wanting to try and get into Twilight's school!" "I don't mind learning about cooking or ingredients, but I don't get why she dedicated so much time to learning about just turnips!" Truffle agreed. "Where is she anyway?" Alula asked. --- "And the love poison makes more sense than you!" Cheerilee hit Sugarbelle over the head several times with a soft foam baseball bat. Cheerilee huffed, and gave Sugarbelle a hoof full of bits. "Pleasure doing business with you," 'Sugarbelle' smiled before a flash of green flames turned her into Kevin the changeling, who unlike other changeling no longer loyal to Chrysalis had chosen NOT to mutate and look like a melted cartoon of rainbow sherbet. Session 82.13 Grogar-the-oneser "Ohh I hate moving!" Glowworm groaned as he and chrysalis remnant left their HQ. "TOO BAD! due to my plot failing that mean everyone pissed off from that crime spree we committed!" Chrysalis growled "The crime spree you cause due to listening to a fake gypsy." Glowworm muttered "SHUT UP!!" "Besides, what are the chances they find out it was our hive that did it." Glowworm stated, the entire hive was grabbed in a magical aura. "I retract my statement." "You cause my Trottingham speech to be ruined!" Starswirl roared "Now I will make you suffer!" There was a huge flash of light and the hive found themselves in a weird place. "What the- where are we. And what are these weird buildings" "Oh no." Chrysalis groaned as she realized what the old coot did "What?" "Prepare to be attacked by a giant silver ball." Chrysalis groaned "Well, that dark." Flash Magnus stated "Yes, I think I went a tad overboard." Starswirl admitted as tiny screams could be heard from the pinball machine. "Still you can't reform someone if they refuse it." "Yeah, but did you have to rent it at a kid party?" Flash Magnus questioned "Hence the overboard part. Especially since Ocellus girl been playing it ever since that party started." Session 82.14 Ardashir "So, what does this thing do again?" Smolder said to Spike as she looked at the odd unfolded screen set before them. She sniffed at it and sneezed. "It's some kind of crystal ball that lets us talk to ponies in another dimension?" "Uh, something like that," Spike lightly tapped his claws against the table as the computer slowly made the connection. He looked and saw a curious Smolder with a wary looking Ember and Garble behind her. They eyed the computer with severe caution; the extra parts Twilight put on it to enable the cross-dimensional cyber-connection looked all too much like the ones on her world mirror. "It's called a 'computer' and it lets you play a game." "This thing better not turn us into dogs, like that crazy mirror," grumbled Garble. He scratched absently. When he noticed, he scowled and folded his arms across his chest. "I still got fleas from those other mutts. And I lost my gems, too." "If you hadn't run off that wouldn't have happened," Ember snapped at him. She huffed annoyance, smoke coming from her nostrils. He shrank back as she said, "Honestly? You go to another world and start robbing the place? Be glad I decided to bring you back to Equestria." "Uh, so!" Spike quickly said, pointing at the screen as the teaser for 'Ascension' began to run. "It's a game where you play a hero, fighting villains and monsters and getting treasure for it," all three of the dragons, especially Garble, perked up at that, "and now they have dragons in it! Or so Twilight told me. I haven't seen this one yet." He stopped and stared as the game showed the three dragons in-game making their offer to the game's Celestia. Garble choked and Ember gasped, their claws scraping the floor in sudden shock at what they saw. "Was that us?" Ember finally managed to say, after working her jaws soundlessly for several seconds. "I thought dragons didn't exist in that world?" "I... guess?" Spike had to smile at seeing himself as his O&O wizard. "Huh, I wonder how the humans guessed that we look like this?" Beside him Garble was flexing and preening. Smolder rolled her eyes as he spoke. "Hah! Like I'd need a dumb battleaxe to fight with. Real dragons need nothing but their fangs and flame and muscle!" Garble made a muscle and kissed it. As he turned to admire himself in the world mirror his tail swatted the computer lightly. A second short scene for players who wanted to follow the 'Dragon Quest' began to ran as he said, "At least they made us the coolest species, like in real life." Beside him Smolder stared at the screen. She began spluttering, set her claws over her muzzle, and finally dropped to the floor laughing. "BWA-AHAHAHA! I guess they do know you two!" "Smolder, what are you talking about now?" Ember turned, catching sight of the screen. She had her mouth open to say more but stopped and froze, as did Spike and Garble when they saw what was happening on the computer screen. Under a heading of 'In the Dragonlands', showing the volcanic plains and caves of their homeland, Dragon Lord Ember and Dragon Brawler Garble were talking beside a large hoard of shimmering gold and shining jewels. More, they were in each others' arms. "I want you to be careful," the computerized Ember said to Garble, laying her head against his broad scaly chest. "We have to redeem our honor, it was a dragon who let Tirek go, but honor will mean nothing to me if you're not there to share victory with." "I know, my little turquoise treasure," computer-Garble responded to her, tilting her muzzle back with one claw. "You're the greatest gemstone in the world to me. But don't worry, I'll beat those losers and return to you safe and sound --" Both broke off as the floor of the cave rumbled, shook, and finally collapsed, sending the great hoard of dragonkind tumbling into the dark depths. Before they could do anything a pair of cackling forms rose from the pit. A giant stony dog and a mass of living lava confronted the dragons. "Bwa-haha! Stupid soft fleshy dragons!" said 'Tirek's Lieutenant:Crunch the Rock Dog'. "You not watch hoard, so Crunch take! Him own all treasures of the earth, so him take his gold and gems back!" "We will, you massive mongrel," 'Tirek's Lieutenant:Lavan the Lava Monster' added. He pointed one goopy finger at the dragons, with Garble trying to shield Ember. "You overgrown iguanas think you control the magic of earth and fire? You merely use it, falsely claim it. I was born in it! Observe!" He gestured and a massive wave of lava and stone washed across the now empty cave, slamming Ember and Garble into the stones. As Garble feebly struggled to rise, Lavan snatched Ember up and yanked the 'Scepter of the Dragon Lord' from her claws. Ember fought uselessly to escape as Lavan sneered at the screen: "If the Dragons want their hoards and their Lord and their Scepter back, they will have to go through my armies to get them! Let us see if their puny descendants can match what the wyrms of old did!" The screen went black as his gurgling laughter echoed. "WHO WROTE THAT CRAP?!?" Ember roared, her eyes ablaze and little tongues of fire shooting from her muzzle as she yelled, "I'll destroy those humans!" Her claws tightened on the scepter she bore as though she lusted to bring it smashing down on a game designer's head. "I am no damsel in distress, and, and..." She waved her claws overhead. "Kissing Garble?? BLEAH!" "Yeah, like you could even handle me," Garble began backing away towards the door as Ember gave him a truly hateful glare. Spike gulped to see Garble smirk as he said, "Hey, if you don't like it, go tell those humans who made it, not me!" "I will!" Ember leaped from the ground, wings flapping, and went for the mirror gate. Spike chased after her, wondering how Celestia or Twilight would have handled this. And behind them all, forgotten, Smolder folded her claws behind her head and watched the computer. "Okay, if they started with that, I gotta see how I can play this. Just so I can show everydrake back in the Dragonlands what I just saw!" Session 82.15 Alex Warlorn SPOILERS FOR PONYVILLE MYSTERIES: TAIL OF THE TIMBERWOLF!!! (And the chapter book that came after.) Princess Twilight Sparkle rocked back and forth hugging her rear knees. "Wereponies are real, not fair. Wereponies are real, not fair. Wereponies are real, not fair." "Twilight, give it a rest, so wereponies are real, what's the big deal?" Spike said. "BIG DEAL!? I wrote my third grade paper on how wereponies were impossible! My life is ruuuuuuined!" Twilight fell on her side. "First curses turn out to be real when Trixie is almost turned into a crystal statue, and now this!!!! What's next going to be prove real? GHOSTS?!" - "Hi girls," Apple Bloom said. "This is my friend Ruby. Her name is Ruby too, not like Ruby Pinch though." "Uh, hello." Waved the yellow eyed gray colored filly with the magnifying glass cutie mark. "I hope my character is okay." Dinky, their current residing Oubliette Overseer, looked it over. "A ghost paladin?" "Uh...." Dinky looked at Pipsqueak's pirate overloaded with trinkets from his campaign with Luna... And Silver Spoon's slash buckler from having explored the outerplanes and the many alien planets of the prime material plane. And whatever abominations Scootaloo and DIamond Tiara had brought to the table this time. "You'll fit right in." Dinky said. +++ There was a ringing on Blueblood's door. Naturally a servant answered. "Sir, there is a little filly asking to speak with you, shall I get the 'you left mommy emergency fund' ready?" "Huh? Blueblood hasn't even met my mommy!" Said Twist. Never mind how this filly had gotten to Canterlot to begin with... Princess Luna herself insisted on looking the foal over to try and trace who had cursed her to begin with (later revealed to the pony witch Eclipse). Twist, "Hi mthister Blueblood, I was told you were turned into a werepony... so was I... don't worry, Mith Zecora make a cure for me... I just need one of yours hairs pleathe." "I've gone that already, uh, it didn't work!" "That's cause it was with the cure for the make believe game! This cure for werepony stuff is for the rules of the real world!" "Oh..." Session 82.16 QuartzScale Finally the crowd calmed down as a different figure came onto the stage. Sombra appeared drumming up a little more hype for the next trailer. "Are you ready for some new things?!" Sombra called out to the roars of the crowd. "I said are you ready!" The crowd roared even louder as the lights dimmed down once again and the screen lit up. An orchestral piece began similar to the vivaldi piece only with a lot more dark tones edging into the violin pieces. Several large deers wandered around stomping through the forest as they came upon a large city made entirely out of grown out branches and several built in furniture due to the wood. A procession was being held as several zebras and griffons were amongst them working alongside a few pony merchants who had been finally allowed into the city. Several foals and bucks played amongst each other while thestrals and pegasi flew around doing a few jobs for several deers including one with blue fur and larger horns. A Diamond Wolf merchant made deals with a arborist deer who created gems that could grow plants after being planted, even being used to make food for those that needed it. Off in the distance was a small amphitheater where several actors were performing a play about several demons whom were taken down by a collection of races trying to stop the rise of a large centaur who remained unnamed. The genial tone of the city was bright and cheery even in the hidden canopy of the Everfree forest. There were a few shrouded deer as well covered in green cloaks who seemed to keep to themselves as they wandered through the streets of the city. Deer Capital: Thicket "Welcome all to our grand return to the fold. After years of staying out of the limelight now we step in. Why sir?" A large brown deer with red armor and white antlers with orange eyes. His name was revealed below as Enforcer Blackthorn. "Ancient enemies and dangerous foes. One we help seal away long ago before they could freeze our homes away." A large white deer with golden horns glowing a strange green light as magic pooled in the center of his horns. His title was revealed as King Aspen. "Charlatan? He's back!?" Blackthorn hissed as several of the cloaked figures started to ruffle at the idea. Before Aspen could answer snow started to fall over the city leaving all within gawking at the sight. The guards immediately pointed in a direction as Aspen led a large procession of deer, zebras, griffons, and ponies off each of different jobs. "Looks like a cold front is coming, eh? Seems you'll need a thicker Thicket to hide in." A squawking chuckle broke through from a large penguin with a red crown and light blue robe with darkened white trim holding a large staff with a chunk of blue ice at the end. He seemed to coldly stare at the group since he kept his tone cold while he chuckled. "From you I’d expect nothing less." Aspen growled out as the two raced forward. Charlatan stomped his foot revealing several ice golems of different races including Diamond Wolves, Yaks and Crystal Ponies. Aspen stomped down as all sides charged forward with the deer sending off several plants to tear apart the ground gripping the golems and crushing them almost instantly. Aspen met Charlatan in battle as the two used their magic in a blinding battle of power. Ice magic flowed from Charlatan’s staff while nature seemed to ooze from Aspen’s horns creating an explosion as a mixture of plants and ice overwhelmed the entirety of the plains that the group was fighting at. "Now!" Aspen roared as the cloaked deer rushed forward creating several large man eating plants with rushed forward for Charlatan only to get knocked back by ice golem versions of the three princesses of Equestria. "Not this day Aspen! I shan't be frozen once again beyond the sheen of Tartarian ice." Charlatan roared out before summoning a blizzard and escaping into the mist. Aspen stomped down as several flowers appeared releasing a strong gust of heat that melted the snow and ice and released those that got too unlucky. The cloaked deer led the frost bitten to get warmer as Blackthorn and Aspen stepped forward while a cross wipe shows the title of World of Hoocraft: Ascension. "It's good to see you all excited and for those who like the environment I can tell you that the deer are right up your alley." Sombra sensually raised his eyebrows while a group of hippies all cheered led surprisingly by Tree Hugger. "I didn't know she was into World of Horsecraft." Fluttershy smiled as she thought about what her new character would be when the expansion came out. As the next trailer was getting ready Sombra disappeared behind the curtain allowing Discord who had been rushed from the hospital due to his eyes being fine take over. "You two ready? I want the two of you to introduce the Armies of Tirek trailer and play up your roles as well." Sombra informed his two newest employees. "I'm just glad you remember me now." Sunset admitted. "I forgot you? When? We have contracts already signed and triplicates ever since my mother was around." Sombra mused confusedly. "Why do I have to announce this? This is so embarrassing." Pony Twilight admitted wearing a horn tiara and a pony tail that matched her hair. "You signed the contract and agreed to the terms. Just have fun with it. Also keep an eye out. Tirek will be on stage with you. No funny business since he is the company lawyer and really good at what he does." Sombra warned Twilight who didn't freak out this time. "I-I-I know. I'll be fine." Twilight slapped her face and Sunset patted her on the back to calm her down. "No longer going crazy because of a memory stone. Gotta love the parallels from this world and your world, huh Twilight?" Sunset chuckled as she took position. "I wish they would stop being so one to one already." Twilight sighed and took her place as well. Session 82.17 Kendell2 The group continued to play the 'Charming Birthday' quest line in Crystals and Rainbows, with each going after their specific charm idea,, while also seeing some of the other ones being made by the NPC ponies, which were surprisingly varied and showed a lot of effort. "Hey, don't the charms all look kinda huge?" asked Rainbow Dash as their characters made them. "Eh, sure that's just so we can see them on the overworld map," Applejack replied. Twilight as Minty had created a candy cane charm, Sci-Twi had made a charm in the shape of the constellation Sagittarius, Rarity had made a gorgeous diamond charm, Rainbow Dash had created a purple sea shell with some modifications to make it look streamlined, Applejack's was a simple apple-shaped charm, Fluttershy's was a purple flower, Pinkie Pie had made a charm that was designed to look like balloons and cotton candy, Gilda had made an ice claw charm, Spike had made a paw print, and Ember had just stuck a pet naming tag into the charm making window. As they all finished, Razzaroo came in and looked at their charms. "Yes, yes, yes, these look wonderful, but aren't these a little large for charms?" the NPC asked. "...Huh, what do you know, that was actually a plot point..." Applejack admitted with a chuckle. Thankfully the game didn't force them to remake their bracelets, instead the big ones were turned into a giant charm bracelet to decorate the castle as a present to Kimono while they made a scaled down version in a cutscene for Kimono. That certainly surprised Kimono. "This is truly wonderful, and knowing you shared something you all love makes it a very very special charm bracelet. I will cherish it, and your friendship forever," the NPC said, as the party commenced (with plenty of mini games). At the party's end they were treated to a page in Razzaroo's journal of pictures of various things from the party, and of course a large amount of Friendship Points and an achievement. "Well, that was kinda fun," Sunset replied with a smile. "Yeah lot less hectic than some of the quests on WOH," Applejack replied. "Those bosses are fun, but it can be bit tirin' taking about an hour tah beat a rough boss." "To be fair, I think that's the idea on this," Sci-Twi pointed out. "It's a cool down and relaxation game, kinda cathartic." Twilight blinked as they all got an item. "'Friendship Bracelet unlocked. Make charms for your friends to always have a reminder of your friendship'..." she read. "...So...should we?" "...Sounds like a good idea to me..." Fluttershy replied with a smile. No one objected. Especially given recent stressful events. Session 82.18 Mtangalion Prince Blueblood looked at the cure Twist was offering him, suddenly suspicious. "So, the afflicted pony would just dissolve one of his hairs in this, and then drink it?" He took the flask in his magic. "I admit to nothing! However… thank you for this, little filly. I’ll ensure that it’s put to the proper use." Once he was back inside his apartment with the front door securely locked and bolted, Blueblood glanced at the ceiling. "Oh, Discord? If you should happen to be listening… and I certainly would never want to disturb you if you’re occupied with important chaos business… I’m moderately curious, would you be angry if I took a potion to cure the wolfpony condition that you bestowed upon me? No?" The Prince breathed a deep sigh of relief and headed deeper into the house. "Well, then I’ll just... AH!!" Discord was lounging on Blueblood's living room sofa, sipping a glass of Blueblood's favorite imported Crystal wine. "Angry, Bluey? Oh no, I wouldn’t say angry… just terribly disappointed. Why, I’d have to find a new pony to play with. Oh!" A glow gem literally flashed into existence over Discord’s head, then quickly blew up in colorful fireworks. "What about Midnight Heart? I’m sure she’d love to find out what being a real nightpony is like! She spent so much time coming up with the rules of being one, after all." Blueblood gasped. "You cad… you wouldn’t! Oh wait, of course you would." Discord shaped himself into a colorful hula-hoop and spun around Blueblood several times. "Well, yeah! That’s how I roll, dawg!" A cross between a rap beat and a rimshot played from thin air. Blueblood was annoyed to discover that the pun had changed him into his wolf form without asking. "Fine, fine! I won’t take the cure. I’ll keep… amusing you with the shenanigans of my double life. Just leave Miss Midnight Heart alone." Discord blinked with an audible plinking sound. "Empathy, for a mare you don’t even know? And ponies say I’m a *bad* influence." Blueblood chuckled gruffly. "Oh, I have a fairly good idea who she is…" A little after dusk, Rainbow Dash flew to a certain cave just past Sweet Apple Acres, hovering in front of the pitch dark entrance. "Hey, Windy? Are you still alive in there?" There was a sneeze from inside. "Dash? Hey, come on in! I could use a distraction." It turned out that Windy Whisper was hanging upside-down over her writing desk again, with her short blue mane more frazzled than usual. "Thanks for not forgetting I existed." "Um, Bearer of Loyalty here!" said Dash, catching the ripe, juicy apple that Windy tossed at her. "I don’t forget my friends." "Friends, huh?" mused Windy, as she flopped in a chair and Dash took the sofa. "I guess even a thestral living alone in a cave needs a few of those." She flopped back, groaning. "If only friendship could blast a cool rainbow beam and finish this book before my deadline. My patron wants a new trilogy centered around… get this… a friendship gaming academy, with secret nightponies and wolfponies hiding among the students." Dash coughed, glancing aside. "Heh, yeah… Like that would ever happen." The following morning, "Professor" Rainbow Dash drummed her hooves on her desk, bored out of her mind waiting for her students to finish a test. "Squirrel," she deadpanned. Cold Nose half-jumped out of his desk. "Where?!" Sweetie Belle pulled him back down, whispering urgently in his ear. "Haha, I was playing along of course! Your trick didn’t fool me!" When the bell rang, Gallus handed in his test and padded out of the classroom, stepping aside to let a cheerful earth pony maid with a broom and dustpan pass by. "Hey, Sandbar," he whispered. "Think we should tell ‘Cold Nose’ that he’s really bad at this?" Sandbar hushed him. "Dude, no way. It’s gotta be a trap." He glanced left and right down the hallways. "I read all about the Wolf Game in the Foal Free Gazette! Diamond wolves are never that bad at sneaking. He’s gotta be a distraction for a real Infiltrator. Somebody really sneaky that we’d never even give a second glance!" A click and a flash distracted them, and the young pony and griffon turned to see a white unicorn mare with a pink mane, and a smiling sun cutie mark on her flank. She beamed warmly at them and continued on her way. Sandbar frowned. "Weren’t class photos last week? Dude, you don’t think…" Gallus grinned. "The game is aclaw." Sandbar blinked. "You mean, ahoof?" "No, I mean, aclaw!" Session 82.19 Alex Warlorn "Attentions students, visitors, and staff: 'Rutabaga Flowers Are Better Than Apples,'" Called Twilight Sparkle's voice over the intercom, reminding everypony that was still a thing. - Rarity felt proud for not telling Windy Whispers 'told you so!' when it was discovered Twist had been briefly cursed into becoming a werepony. But that didn't mean she couldn't have a personal victory party with two special guests. "That's what I was trying to tell you Rarity!" Sweetie Belle said. "For the record dear, I believed you, but I didn't have the majority vote." "You were gonna ship me off to some wild monster reserve on the other side of Equestria!" "Technically dear it would be any side of Equestria with Ponyville being so close to the center, erm, never mind." To keep the poor filly from being traumatized, Rarity didn't say how the griffins and dragons had a far more permanent solution when it came to monsters that caused trouble. "How about a nice game of dress up dolly?" Rarity took out the dusty old board game, her dad said when he bought for her that the shop owner was relieved to just sell a copy. It seemed the odds loved being stacked against Rarity in all things related to her personal passions. Sweetie Belle sighed. Twist on the other hand, "Oh that sounds fun!" Session 82.20 Ardashir "Twi, I think we have a problem," Spike hurried into the principal's office. Twilight didn't even look up from the papers she was grading. "It's okay, Spike. I've been talking with Prince Erik how Diamond Wolves are free to attend the school provided don't wear any of their magic costumes while attending classes..." "Huh?" Spike blinked and looked out the door. One 'pony' student, Cold Nose, was being talked to by Rarity. Spike sighed as she batted her eyes down at the foal -- who snorted and removed their coat to reveal a Diamond Wolf pup. Gallus watched from nearby. "Ya weren't fooling anygriff, either!" He swaggered over to Rarity as the pup bristled their annoyance. "Diamond Wolves can't fool griffons, can they, Miss Rarity?" "I don't know," said a second Rarity as she walked up from behind the first one, who gave a start. "Can they, Gallus?" The new Rarity smiled meaningfully at the first one. She sighed and unzipped her coat to reveal Alisa. Gallus had the grace to look embarrassed. "Was just keeping an eye on pups, Mistress Rarity," she said, wagging her tail. "Uh, okay," Spike turned back to Twilight. "Hey, you're you, right?" Twilight frowned and he hurriedly said, "Anyway! That wasn't the problem. Ember and Garble saw part of that new 'World of Horsecraft' game, the one with the dragons..." "They reacted badly, didn't they?" Twilight set the papers down and sighed as Spike gave a jump. "Spike, I can guess they weren't happy just by the way you spoke. But how bad can it get?" A massive BOOM shook all through the Friendship School. Followed by a roar like thunder. "HEY IN THERE! PRINCESS OF FRIENDSHIP!" Twilight went to look out her window and froze. A single blazing eye filled the entire window, focused on her and looking very unhappy. "WHAT'S THIS I HEAR ABOUT SOME ALIENS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF A MIRROR MOCKING MY DAUGHTER BY SETTING HER UP WITH THE HUGGER?" Ex-Dragon Lord Torch asked in what was a quiet voice for him, which meant they heard the echoes in Canterlot. A tiny in comparison Ember flew around her sire's head as he said, "BECAUSE IF SO, THEN SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE THEIR CITY LEVELED!" Twilight sighed. "Spike! I remember how dragons handle challenges, Go and find --" "I'll be back with Trixie," Spike said, "provided you can handle the hoofball-sized mahjong board." Session 82.21 Grogar-the-oneser "I don't see the problem, he's WAY too big to squeeze through that mirror." Rarity stated. "True... but that doesn't mean he can't just picked it up and breath fire into it." Twilight stated. "Would that work?" Spike asked. "If equestrian magic can still work albeit weirdly in the human world, I highly suspect dragon fire launched into the portal will also work." "Plus we still have the organs that let us breathe fire on this side." Spike said. Session 82.22 Mtangalion Gallus squinted at the black and gray-furred Diamond Wolf pup, then clicked his beak and held out a claw. "Let's try this again. I'm Gallus." The pup shrank back and fidgeted his paws, until Alisa nosed him and gestured expectantly. Then the pup nodded and confidently shook the offered claw. "I'm Pavel!" "Well, look on the bright side," Spike was saying to Twilight. "At least Garble managed to find Ember in the other world after she flew off in a rage, and talk her into coming back with no problems!" Canterlot Humane Society, twelve hours earlier… Garble yawned, stirring and scratching his ear with a hind paw. "Ugh, this bites." Ember tried to burrow deeper into the blanket. "Nodragon asked you to come here after me, idiot. I was giving that game merchant a piece of my mind just fine without you." Garble chuckled. "Oh come, you totally needed me. I bit the human who grabbed you!" he bragged. "And I got us out of that cage too!" "And then they put us in a better cage," snapped Ember, "without the little pull tabs that you can open with paws! Wait, what the…" Ember sat up, sniffing, and was alarmed to discover that she and Garble had gone to sleep as far from each other as they could get, but they’d woken up snuggled together. "Gah! Get off!" "Ow, ow!" bayed Garble. "Hey, you’re the one who was lying on me, b-" A heavy door swung open, and the human Gilda stamped into the room, two collars and leashes in hand. "Have a nice nap?" she asked sarcastically. "I just love getting late night phone calls about how ‘my’ dog is at the pound. I had to pay a fee to get you out…" She glared at Garble. "And I couldn’t get *you* out without paying to register and *adopt* you, so now I’m stuck with the uppity talking dog version of you too!" She smacked a fist into a palm. "I’d better get a whole wheelbarrow full of gems for this, is all I’m saying." Back in Ponyville, in the present, Garble hovered next to Ember, wringing his claws. "Um, so… thanks for not telling your old man how we kinda shared a den together overnight. I mean, by dragon tradition, that technically makes us engaged! If anydragon knew about it..." "Shut up!" hissed Ember. "Dad’s like thousands of years old and big as a castle, but he’s not deaf! You’re lucky he didn’t..." She realized that Torch was now glaring at *them*, his colossal muzzle just a few feet away. The young dragons both gulped. Applejack frowned thoughtfully. "So when the new Diamond *Dog* students show up and see there's Diamond Wolves here too, how's that gonna work out?" Spike winced, hearing Torch roar in a raging fury outside. "I'll add that to the list..." Session 82.23 Alex Warlorn "Alright girls," Spike said, "Let's hope this works out better than our last few campaigns. Now that I can sell my scales again, I can afford the splat books. And let's see." "RAINBOOM THE BARBARIAN!" "Flutternice the Druid." "Elusive, the handsome cleric of Sune, the goddess of beauty!" Rarity said. "Farlight Twinkle, the sorceress, magic is in my blood! I am an Ogre Obedient, on my way to becoming a majestic ogre-magi!" "Blinky-Ink The Bard!" "Erm, J-A The Ranger." Spike sighed. Well, might as well let the girls have their comfort zone. "Alright girls, welcome to the town of Tavern's Ville! Where the Tavern is king! Fortune Forest is to the north, where you're fortunate if you make it through without a fight. Wall Fortress to the south that keeps out the orcs and the lizard men in the southern swamps. To keep the trade routes open between the fortress and the rest of the kingdom, regular raids are made into the goblin caves inside Fortune Forest, and you lot have been drafted! But beware! Rumors say the Cursed Treasure Caves lie deep within the goblins caves and might be the source of the goblins themselves! Beware!" Spike raised his arms dramatically. "So Spike, when do we get to role play? Or are we gonna sit here with you telling us what our characters do?" Rainbow asked. "I was just trying to get you to the actions, Miss, 'see how many orcs I can kill at the peace treaty signing.'" "Hey, those orcs killed my folks, this was the best chance my character was gonna get to even the score!" Session 82.24 Jarkes Starlight, as a "favor" for Twilight, was currently DM'ing a campaign for the CMC, Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon. It was... not going well. "All right, so now that you've lost the extremely important Magic Mirror that could transport you to the Dark World, you need to go on this sidequest," Starlight said. "We wouldn't have to do this if SOMEPONY hadn't broken the Magic Mirror and sent us on a series of ridiculous warps before throwing it away when we made it back to the correct dimension," Scootaloo said, glaring at Diamond Tiara. "I said I was sorry..." Diamond Tiara said sheepishly. "Anyway, so how do we do this sidequest?" "First, you must obtain the legendary Mystic Orb on the other side of..." Starlight paused for dramatic effect. "THE CAVE OF NOOOOOOOOOOOO RETURN! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Silver Spoon spoke up. "If it's a Cave of No Return, then how does anypony know what's on the other side of it?" Crap, she's on to me, Starlight thought. "Uh... the locals gave it that name because they... thought it sounded mysterious?" "And furthermore, 'Mystic Orb?'" Silver Spoon continued. "THAT'S the best name you could come up with?" "Look, I had to come up with half of this at the last minute, okay?" Starlight said, sighing. This is going to be a long night... (OOC: Just a little tribute to that old "Four Swords Misadventures" Flash animation from Newgrounds. Though the only specific bits are the Cave of No Return and the Magic Mirror thing. The Mystic Orb thing is a bit of self-deprecation on my part and how I'm terrible at coming up with names for things) Session 82.25 Kendell2 "Hey! Look Twilight!" said Rainbow Dash, her WOH self now having equiped an item that gave her a cool rippling rainbow aura. "I finally got that rainbow aura charm! It took me two days of grinding!" Human Twilight blinked. "Rainbow, you do realize that is purely appearance based and doesn't actually give you any buffs or anything, right?" "Yeah, so? It looks awesome and I didn't have to pay for it!" "...Fair enough." OOC: I actually did this in an MMO for no reason but because it looked cool. Session 82.26 Alex Warlorn "Geeze, those bling covered goblins sure beat a hasty retreat," Pinkie Pie said. "Dang cowards! They realized they were dealing with the best!" Twilight wanted to say that Spike hadn't made a morale roll, but would be cheating. "Well, Ah've checked and Ah can't find any traps, but maybe one of us should have-" "ENOUGH!" Rarity said. "I am sick and tired of your 'I run a business so I must be a thief' implications by trying to get me to play a rogue every chance you get!" "S-sorry Rarity, I, I didn't know that felt that strongly about it." "Still," Princess Twilight said, "Maybe one of us should play a rogue next adventure to balance out the team." "Thanks for volunteering." Rainbow said. "WHAT?! ME?! But you're the fast and swift one! That totally screams rogue!" "Hey girls," Spike said catching them while they were distracted. "Following the trail inside their cave, and yes AJ I remember you're checking for traps as you go, you come to a cave filled with treasure." "I disbelief," Rarity said simply. "Nope, it's not an illusion." "Ah check for traps." AJ rolled. "Nope, not any traps either that you can spot." "Spike! We're all looking for any goblins or any other monsters who might hiding." Twilight said. The ponies rolled. "There don't appear to be any goblins hiding." Rarity said, "I appraise the pile of treasure, is it real? I mean, is it actually treasure or copper pieces painted golden?" Rarity remembered that nasty surprise from Tomb of Horrors. Along with Rainbow Dash bringing along a Warforged character since they'd be immune to all the poisons... who got teleported into the demilich's inner chamber all alone and trapped with the demilich since being a construct, the trapped door was made to teleport inorganic substances to the demilich's treasure room. She hoped Twilight remembered to write that fanciful and hilarious in hindsight adventure down in her journal. Such a funny adventured deserved to be written out. "The treasure is real treasure," Spike said. "Elusive casts Hide From Undead, so if there are ghosts or zombies acts as guards we won't set them off." "Alright," Spike simply nodded. "Let's just get as much as we can out of here before those goblins realize where we are!" Rainbow Dash said. "Rainboom begins scooping as much treasure as she can into her pack!" "JA will help!" "I I guess I should too." "Oookie-dookie-lookie!" "Well, I might as well to darlings." Twilight noticed that Spike was now rolling dice... she thought he might be rolling for monster encounters, but he was rolling more dice as each party member started to collect treasure. And it all clicked in Twilight's head, in particular due to her recent adventures in the human world. 'Incredible!' Princess Twilight thought. 'Are the cosmic laws of constants and variables between reality that strong?!' Then the dice roll stopped. "Girls... as you're collecting all the sparkly treasure, you don't notice as your skin turns green, and you lose height... your ears turned pointed and you grow fangs... before you know it... you are five goblins covered in your precious treasure... and you spot one magic pony there, could she be there to steal it?" "HEY! NOW HOLD ON! CURSED TRESURE?! Don't get a saving throw?!" Rainbow protested. "That's what I was rolling for every scoop you took, and you're the ones who didn't think to use 'detect magic' on the big pile of money with no guards." "Well, unless yer plannin' to take our characters from us, there ain't no way we're role playin' goblins attackin' Twili." Applejack crossed her arms. "You get extra building points for your next characters if you continue to control and role play your characters," Spike said. "STAB THE MAGIC HORSIE WHO THREATENS OUR SHINNIES!" Rainbow Dash said at once. "Uh... Spike! I cast Expedias Retreat on myself! I'll find a way to restore my friends to normal later!" "AFTER THIEVING MAGIC HORSIE!" Rainbow shouted. - "Well, Twilight's character got back to town alive, I guess you'll be wanting those building points for your new characters now." Spike said. "Actually darling," Rarity said. "Myself and the other discussed it, and we're going to try and establish ourselves as the leaders of the goblin tribes in the caves, and then organize the raiding parties and begin to extort money and supplies from travelers for 'protection' rather than blindly attacking any that come through our forest." Spike's eyes opened wide. He'd intended the cursed treasure as a prank... But his friends WANTED to roleplay as a tribe of goblins out to conquer the world?... He was going to be working hard for the next session. Session 82.27 Ardashir As soon as those words left Rarity's mouth? "Hey!" A goblinified Rainbow Dash jumped up on the table, her broad green feet slapping against the stone. "What the gob happen? Why me am green?" Spike just dove for cover. He was an old hand at this now. "Dash, no jump on table!" An equally goblinified Twilight Sparkle -- which, seeing as she was normally an alicorn, made her a bugbear now -- slammed one broad hairy hand down on it hard enough to make the dice jump. "Me command you sit back down, and --" She looked at herself and so did the rest of the girls. "AHHH!" "Green," Goblin-Rarity grunted, her eyes wide with horror. "Everything about me am green!" She began to faint, but instead of a chaise lounge a pile of moldering furs slid up behind her. She shrieked and leaped from them. "At least me still have little animal friends," Fluttergoblin said as half a dozen rats climbed into her lap. "Me want go home and tear down apple trees!" Applegoblin stated for the door and threw herself back. She alternated between hurling herself back and crawling towards it. "No! Yes! No! Yes!" Pinkie Pie just hopped up and down, slapping her hands against the floor as she cackled. "Hee-hee! Now I want to make a party with fire! Lots and lots of fire!" Twilight Bugbear blinked. "Why you am speak normal?" "Why are you guys talking like that?" Pinkie shot back. No one needed to be told who was responsible. "Discord!" "Did someone mention my name? My ears are burning," Discord slithered into the room out of thin air. He grinned at the furious goblins. "Oh, girls! Don't you remember the fun we used to have when I turned you into every monster from the book? But really, someone else needs to see my genius at work." He snapped his fingers and with a flash Tempest Shadow appeared. "Huh? What? How did I get back to the palace?" She looked around in confusion, and her eyes blazed when she saw the goblins. "Where are Twilight and the others -- you! You monsters!" Sparks flew and sputtered from her horn. "Tell me where they are or I'll blast you from the face of Equestria!" Discord just sat back in popcorn he summoned and snacked on lawn chairs as the terrified Green Six fled from the enraged Tempest. "I'll get in trouble for this later," he chuckled, "but right now this is just too much fun." Session 82.28 Jarkes Twilight was wandering around in her castle (somehow she still got lost in her own castle sometimes) when she passed by Starlight's room and heard Starlight and Sunburst talking. "Oh wow, Sunburst... your horn is so BIG..." Starlight said in an almost... seductive manner. No... she wouldn't... Twilight thought, stopping to hear more. "It's VERY easy to play with. You just gotta put your lips around the tiny hole, push the right buttons, and blow into it," Twilight overheard Sunburst say, before she suddenly heard a loud cacophony of noise that sounded like a cat was dying. "Sorry, sorry!" Starlight's voice came hurriedly. "I blew a little too hard there..." "It's all right, you just got to be gentle... Here, let me show you how it's done." Twilight had heard enough. "WHAT THE HAY IS GOING ON IN HERE?!" She screamed as she burst into the room to see... Sunburst taking a Prench horn from Starlight. "...What?" Starlight asked. "Sunburst was just teaching me how to play the Prench horn." "...Oh..." Twilight whispered, blushing. "I... I thought..." She trailed off, unable to finish. "...What did you THINK we were doing?" Starlight asked, raising an eyebrow. "I thought... you were having... well, you know..." Twilight stammered. Starlight's eyes widened as she gasped. "TWILIGHT! You pervert! Really, I thought better of you. Sunburst and I were making sweet, lovely music together with his beautiful large horn, and THAT'S where your mind goes?" Twilight glared at her. "Okay, now you're just doing it on purpose." "Why, yes," Starlight replied. "Yes I am." "We set up this whole scenario because Spike told us you were eavesdropping on us sometimes and Starlight thought it would be funny to mess with you," Sunburst chimed in. "We didn't even get to the REALLY nasty-sounding parts of the script she wrote..." Now Starlight was glaring at Sunburst. "SUNBURST! You weren't supposed to tell her that!" "Oh... um... oops?" Sunburst grinned sheepishly. "Okay, I'm just gonna... go... take a shower and... cleanse this from my mind..." Twilight said, before leaving and closing the door none too gently.