Oliver’s eyes slowly opened to the sight of the bedroom he had occupied since he had arrived in Equestria, which Princess Twilight had so generously provided. The room, once filled with furniture and decorated with posters, was now bare. All of the belongings he was taking with him were stuffed inside of a bag that lay at the foot of his bed. He smiled in a combination of nostalgia and sorrow.
The day he thought would never come had finally arrived.
He got out of bed and took his time getting ready, wanting to put off his departure as long as possible. He took a half hour long shower, brushed his teeth for ten minutes, used up twenty minutes fixing his hair, and even spent fifteen minutes putting his clothes on. However, soon there was nothing left he could do to put it off. With a sigh, Oliver picked up his bag and trudged over to the door. Before leaving, he took one last glance over his shoulder at the room he had lived in for the past four years. He forced back the tears that were forming in his eyes and shut the door for the last time.
Even before he left his former bedroom, Oliver could smell the enticing aroma off Spike’s famous steaming hot pancakes. He licked his lips and descended to the kitchen, where the Mane Six, Spike, Celestia, and Luna were all waiting for him. No one said anything as they all took their seats and began eating the delicious meal. All the conversations, stories, and jokes that could have possibly been had at the table had been exchanged at the massive ‘Farewell Oliver’ party Pinkie threw the previous night. Now, right before the deed was to be done, the ten friends were content simply to enjoy each others’ presences as they ate.
Once everyone had finished, all of them stood up and made their way to the room where the Cutie Map was housed.
When they arrived, Celestia turned to him. “Oliver, I know you said you will not change your mind, but I would like to ask you one more time to reconsider your choice. The ponies who attended the party last night would be delighted if you decided to stay, and all of us certainly would be too. You’re a dear friend, and we hate to see you go.”
Oliver listened patiently to Celestia’s words before replying, “As much as I’d like to stay, my decision is final. I love you guys more than you could ever possibly know, and I know you guys love me too, but my family loved me first.”
Celestia nodded. “I didn’t think you’d change your mind, but I suppose it was worth a shot. We’ll be ready to send you back at any time. Just say the word and we’ll send you home.”
It was time to say his goodbyes.
“Princess Celestia,” he began, “you’ve served as a great inspiration for me. Your amount of care for your subjects, your kind disposition, your wisdom, and your ability to always put others before yourself… I could go on and on. You aren’t just a leader, you’re a role model for your subjects, and someone who genuinely cares and loves to see them grow and blossom. The heads of state in my world have a lot to learn from you.”
“Thank you for your kind words,” she responded, tears welling up in her eyes. “I still remember when you first appeared in Equestria that day so many moons ago, only fourteen years of age. You were confused and crying, wanting to know, ‘Why there are so many magic horses everywhere.’” Celestia chuckled before continuing, “You’ve grown so much since then—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. You’re only going to keep growing, and I look forward to learning about what you will yet become. Speaking of which—Luna?”
Luna’s horn shone with her magic, summoning a thick book that she placed in Oliver’s hands.
“This is a gift from all of us,” began the Night Princess. “It serves two purposes. Firstly, it contains pictures and an accompanying written account of your time here in Equestria. Secondly, it serves as a means of communication with us.”
Oliver’s eyes widened. “You mean like what you did for Sunset?”
Luna nodded. Then, to her surprise, Oliver pulled her into a hug.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you! I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you guys forever!”
“Y-You’re welcome,” Luna sputtered. “It was a little difficult, but we managed.”
“Of course you managed. You’re one of the strongest individuals I’ve ever met, and I don’t mean in terms of magic or physicality. To be honest, I wasn’t a huge fan of yours when I first got here, and I didn’t trust you all that much until the Alp incident. After that, I realized just how much of a good pony you really were and were willing to be. You made huge mistakes, but you were able to not only learn from them, but conquer them too.”
Luna blushed from the praise, something she tried (and failed) to hide. “And we thank you for being a dear friend in ou—my—times of need.”
Oliver gingerly placed his gift inside his bag and turned his attention to his ‘main man,’ Spike.
“Spike, you’ve been a bro. When I first got here, you were the only person who had any idea how I felt being surrounded by others that were radically different from me, especially ones so… girly. Not only that, but you stuck by me through thick and thin. Since then, you’ve helped me more fully understand and cope with my insecurities, even if we had to be the causes of several disasters to learn anything. Keep on growing, buddy. I’ll miss ya.”
Oliver held out his fist to his now crying dragon friend, who managed to give him a fist bump before returning to his tearful breakdown. Twilight walked over to the crying dragon and comforted him, prompting Oliver to approach the Element of Generosity.
Said pony sniffled before speaking, “I guess this is goodbye, darling.”
Oliver nodded, “Seems to be that way.” He paused, taking a moment to consider his words. “Rarity, you’re a good mare. You’re generous, obviously, but you’re also so much more than that. You’re true to yourself even when not doing so would be the easy thing to do, you’re dedicated to making your customers happy, and you’re surprisingly cunning in a pinch. However, you and I never got as close as I would have liked despite all the years I’ve been here, but hopefully we can make up for lost time with the book you guys have given me.”
Rarity wiped away a few oncoming tears and nodded, “I would like that very much.”
“Keep on doing what you’re doing, Rares,” he said with a smile before turning his attention to Rainbow Dash.
“Alright. Please don’t get all mushy and stuff,” the multi-colored pegasus said.
Oliver stared at her and said nothing.
“O-Oliver? Buddy?”
He was silent for another moment before saying, “I’m still not over the time you put centipedes in my underwear drawer, I haven’t gotten over the many times you mocked my fear of bugs, and I can’t say I’ve recovered from the time you took me on an impromptu flight into the stratosphere without my permission. That said, I’m going to miss your confidence, determination, and courage in my life. You’ve taught me to practice what I preach and to be loyal to my friends and family, and I’m grateful for that.”
“Ah c’mon! What did I tell you about getting mushy? Now I’M feeling all sentimental and stuff,” Rainbow moaned. She looked at her human friend for a moment, hesitation evident on her face, before quickly embracing and shoving him away in a matter of seconds.
“I’m gonna miss you…” she muttered before shuffling off to the side.
“I’m going to miss you too,” he called out. Next, he turned to Fluttershy.
“Flutters… thank you.”
The yellow mare’s face scrunched up in confusion, “For what?”
Oliver nodded, “For showing me that you cared.”
“U-Um, I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
He chuckled. “I suppose you wouldn’t. The short version of the story is that you were the first pony to really make me feel at home in this place. Sure, I wasn’t shunned by any of you when I arrived, but there was always some form of trepidation and uncertainty I’d see in the eyes of everypony I met. That made me feel even more alone in this alien world.” Fluttershy saw nothing but gratitude in his eyes when he spoke again. “But not you. No. The first time I saw you after my living arrangements were set, you greeted me with a smile and asked me how I was doing. That may not have been much to you, but it meant the world to me. You see, that had been a bad day for me. I was REALLY sick and tired of feeling alone and depressed, not to mention homesick, and so I looked up at the sky and begged the Guy Upstairs to just get someone to ask me how I was doing and actually mean it. And then I walked inside Twilight’s castle, and there you were.”
Oliver forced down the tears that were threatening to surface by biting his lip so hard that he thought it would bleed if he bit any harder. “I just want to thank you for showing me that bit of kindness, and all the kindness that followed. Because of your example, I started off my journey from a bitter cynic to the man I am today.”
Fluttershy leapt at him and wrapped her front legs around his neck, openly weeping the entire time. Oliver returned the hug, holding onto her as she cried. It was hard, but he didn’t cry along with her. He just petted her mane and held her as tightly as he could without hurting her. When she finally finished after several minutes, he gently set her down and reluctantly pulled away.
“I-I-I—” she said, completely at a loss for words.
“Flutters,” he interrupted, “it’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. I know.”
She cried for several minutes after before she worked up enough courage and strength to walk away from Oliver and rejoin the rest of the group, where Rarity was already waiting to give her a handkerchief she had pulled out from the aether and had been using herself.
With a deep, painfully sharp breath, Oliver turned away from his dear, butter yellow pegasus friend, and looked at his employer and friend: Applejack.
“I’ve had many jobs during my time in Equestria: animal caretaker, lawn mower, sofa salesman, librarian, and apple farmer/salesman. Out of all those jobs, the last one, the one you offered me out of the kindness of your heart was the most fulfilling by a country mile. Not only did it get me off my lazy rear end and get me bits to pay Twilight’s rent, but you were the type of boss that taught me some valuable lessons.”
Applejack rubbed the back of her head and averted her eyes. “Aw shucks. Yer too kind, sugarcube.”
“First off, you taught me to be honest after the brutal tongue-lashing and subsequent hard labor you subjected me to when I tried to cheat one of your regulars into paying more for your product.” Oliver hung his head and sighed. “Definitely not my proudest moment. You had every right to fire me right then and there and probably slap me around for a little bit for good measure. Instead, you took it easy on me and increased my workload and reduced my pay for a month and a half.”
“Don’t worry none, hon. I know you enough by now to know that you’re sorry. Plus, you’ve more than made up for it after all of the sweat inducin’ heavy duty labor you’ve done for mah family over the years under the hot sun,” she said with a little bit of playfulness to her voice.
“Funny you should mention that. The second thing you taught me was the value of hard work. After my attempted fraud, you drilled that value in my brain every day. At first, I’ll admit, it got more than a little on my nerves, but then something amazing happened: I realized that you were right. Seeing ponies enjoy the apples that I helped harvest, getting to know the regulars, seeing all of the sales that were only possible because of my toil, and the utter satisfaction I felt on pay day opened my eyes where I used to be blinder than one of them fruit bats we always had to shoo away!”
Applejack beamed with pride at the confirmation that her work on the boy had borne such fruit, but did not interrupt him as he continued.
“Thirdly, you showed me more hospitality than I knew what to do with. After I finished the punishment period, you offered me your own food on the few times that I forgot mine, welcomed me into your home when our work was finished, and even let me sleep in your house on the days where we worked past sunset during Apple Harvest season. I have nothing else to say except thank you for showing hospitality to me, a practical stranger.”
Oliver paused, sorted out his words, took a deep breath, and got into his final point, which he had then remembered.
“Well, actually, come to think of it, there’s one more thing. You showed me the true worth of family. Sure, being separated from my own kin made me realize how much I loved them, but it was your consistent loyalty to your folks that really drove it home. Even when you didn’t necessarily like them, even when your interests pointed you in another direction, even if it hurt to do so, you still loved them. You stood by them. Being truthful, seeing the unwavering loyalty in your family was what finally convinced me to go home, because I know you would do the same thing in my shoes.”
Applejack gave a sad smile and nodded. “Darn right I would. Ah may be sad to see you go, but I’m proud of you fer sticking by yer family. Thank you from the bottom of mah heart for all of yer hard work, for yer friendship, and for yer loyalty to mah kin. You’re an honorary Apple if there ever was one, and I expect you to stay that way when you get back to Earth.”
“Don’t worry, you can count on my honesty. I made a Pinkie promise that I would never try and cheat anyone ever again, and I know Pinkie would rip through the fabric of space and time to beat the snot out of me if I broke it.”
“You bet I would!” Pinkie chirped.
Oliver snickered, then turned to Twilight, who had finally calmed Spike down before she realized his attention was now on her.
“First off, thank you for letting me live here. Seriously, thank you. You had no obligation to do so, especially when my arrival in this world ended up burning down your garden, but you let me stay for free until I could find a stable enough job. Again, thank you.”
Twilight bowed her head. “It was my honor. No, really. If anything, I was jumping up and down to let you stay. I mean, a human from ANOTHER alternate universe! I couldn’t pass up the opportunity for knowledge like that! You turning out to be such a good person was just icing on the cake.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say I was good at first, but I’ll get to that later. With the exception of the times you grilled me for information on my home, you were a great host. You gave me my own room, supplied me with food and clothing—heck, you even took time out of your day to tutor me alongside Spike. That’s another thing: your very thorough education instilled a love of knowledge in me, especially for history and literature. I may still not care for science and math all that much, but I can safely say that I don’t hate them anymore because of you.
“But aside from knowledge, you gave me a craving for something even more valuable: wisdom. Knowledge is nothing if you don’t know how to use it, as you always say. Or as Celestia put it: If your knowledge is not enforced by immovable morality and common sense, it is worth less than pond scum.”
Despite herself, tears of pride mingled with those of sorrow formed in Twilight’s eyes. With a sniffle, she wiped them away with her hoof before they could manage to roll down her cheeks. She gave a small nod and said in a quiet voice, “Just like I taught you.”
A handkerchief suspended in an aura of golden magic was levitated over to Twilight, who gladly accepted it. Celestia trotted over and wrapped a wing around the purple alicorn and said, “I know. They grow up so fast.”
Oliver smiled at the two and continued. “But the greatest thing you provided me was showing me just how powerful and profound friendship really is. My friendships were never really strong. Just a way for me to get what I wanted, really. Means to ends. So my reaction to the whole ‘friendship is magic’ stuff when I first arrived was one of scorn. But you flipped my world upside down and showed me that a friendship built on a firm foundation of mutual love and respect can shake mountains. THAT was truly one of the only ends that really mattered in this crazy world.”
Twilight could keep her composure no longer and wildly blew her nose into the tissue, the waterworks now coming out like a sprinkler, practically. Pinkie trotted over and patted Twilight on the back while she cried.
“Well Oliver, looks like it’s my turn!” she said as Twilight continued weeping. “Oh, I hope your Pinkie monologue is super special and scrumdiliumptious! Like chimicherrychangas! Or Marzipan Meringue Madness! Oh! Oh! Or—”
Oliver’s face cracked into a smile and he stopped her little impromptu confectionary rant before it could go on any further.
“I give up.”
Everyone in the room (aside from Pinkie) looked confused as to exactly what Oliver meant by that.
“I actually gave up trying to understand you years ago. Pinkie, you are… gosh, I don’t even know where to start.”
“Ooo! Ooo! I know where you can start! By saying that I’m the best at what I do, and what I do is bringing and being the joy and the laughter! Like Bubbles! You remember PowerPuff Girls don’t you!?”
Oliver busted out laughing.
“Pinkie,” he said after he finally stopped. “I love you so much. I’m not even exaggerating: I love you with all my heart. Not in a weird way of course. Strictly platonically. Don’t want you to think I’m IN love with you, cause that would just be weird.”
Pinkie, like Oliver before her, burst out laughing.
“I know what you’re talking about. You don’t have to explain yourself to me, silly!”
Oliver chuckled. “I probably should’ve guessed you would. You’re Pinkie after all. But enough jibber jabber: time to get to the point. Pinkie, you have a special place in my heart. Twilight housed me, Applejack employed me, Fluttershy showed me the kindness I needed, Spike provided companionship, everypony else served as role models, but you… you just were. I can’t explain it any other way besides that.
“My first time really meeting you was at the party you threw me the day after I moved in with Twilight, and that meeting practically enraged me. Here I was, a homesick human who just wanted some time to himself to process the situation, and I’m suddenly being dragged into a party full of rowdy, pastel ponies. And at the center of it all was you. You had so much happiness and energy, neither of which wavered even after I insulted your party and told you to go away. Your jollity seemed endless, and you know what?”
Oliver then said something that shocked everypony in earshot. “I despised you for it. The mere sound of your voice, the sight of your pink fur, even the smell of cotton candy and cupcakes that follows you everywhere… all of it filled me with an indescribable rage. Even after Fluttershy showed me kindness at my lowest point, even after I warmed up to Twilight, even after I befriended Spike, I hated you.”
Everypony had an expression of shock on their faces. They had known he wasn’t fond of Pinkie at first, but hatred? The only pony whose expression wasn’t one of surprise was Pinkie, who’s only reaction was for her happy smile to turn into a sad one.
“You weren’t just A source, but THE source of constant frustration and fascination for me. Not a day went by when I didn’t wonder how you could possibly be so happy all the time, and not a day went by where I didn’t hate you and your constantly smiling face more than the day before. Eventually, I convinced myself that your happiness was an act, and I made it my life’s mission to crack the mask I thought you were wearing wide open with a giant sledgehammer of truth. Instead of learning from everypony who was reaching out to me, I discarded their lessons in favor of satisfying my anger.
“My first attempt to do this was rather childish to be honest. I heard you had entered a baking contest and messed up your cake by filling it with salt and laxatives. I wasn’t surprised when you took the sabotage in stride, but in my mind, that childish prank was only the opening salvo in a larger operation. My second attempt to break you was far more malicious than the first. I sabotaged the food, music, and decorations for the party you hosted in honor of Princess Celestia’s birthday. For the proverbial cherry on top, I arranged for a bucket full of vinegar to fall on you as you gave a speech in front of everypony in town. When I saw the expression on your face at the moment when it all came together in a crescendo of humiliation, I thought I’d done it. But then you smiled and made a joke about it. I was so angry that I slipped out of the party early and trashed my room. I managed to clean up most of the mess before Twilight and Spike came home, so they were none the wiser, but I forgot to clean up some pieces of a lamp I hit with a baseball bat and from then on, swore that I’d have to keep my fits of rage more under control so as not to arouse suspicion.”
Spike’s eyes widened at this and he said, “But you said you accidentally knocked it to the floor when you were walking around!”
Oliver gave him a tiny smirk. “Nope, smashed it to pieces. Why do you think I was so distraught and in such a hurry to pay Twilight back for the damages that I was practically BEGGING her to let me?”
Spike sputtered he was at such a loss for words.
Oliver gave him and Twilight an apologetic look before taking another deep breath and turning back to Pinkie. “I was pondering about what to do next when I came downstairs for breakfast one morning and Twilight handed me a letter.” Oliver clenched his fists so tightly that his knuckles turned bone white. “It was a VIP invitation to a Pinkie party, delivered a whole month in advance. But it wasn’t just any party… it was a celebration of MY birthday.” He took another deep, albeit shaky, breath before he continued. “I was able to hide it from Twilight and Spike, but my absolute fury in that moment exceeded anything I’d ever felt before in my life. I decided then and there that I was going all in on my next attempt to break you; it wouldn’t be some stupid prank, I would strike hard at you and make it as personal as possible. I spent weeks meticulously planning, down to the smallest detail, how to attack your relationships in such a way that you would be brought to your knees.”
Looks of horrible realization appeared on the faces of everypony as they realized exactly where the story was going. Pinkie’s expression, however, never changed.
“Finally, the week of my birthday, I set my plan into motion. A few comments here, a little false evidence there, a tiny bit of provocation for everyone involved, and just the right circumstances for everything to happen and I had all of your friends practically shunning you. I kept an eye on everything from afar, and I will never attempt to describe the sense of sick satisfaction when I saw you slip into your house in an attempt to hide your tears from passersby. Then came the coup de’ grace: I slipped into your house, found where you were crying, and began to gloat.”
“Hey Pinkie, how’s it going?” Oliver said mockingly, causing Pinkie to turn around and face him.
“O-Oliver?” she responded pitifully.
“Rhetorical question,” he continued, “I know exactly how it’s going. Your friends hate you, your bosses hate you, and it’s for something that you didn’t even do.”
Pinkie’s eyes shimmered with fresh tears, and she opened her mouth to respond before being cut off.
“As you’ve probably already realized, this entire situation was arranged by me. In fact, I’ve been planning this for the past three weeks. I also sabotaged that baking contest you entered, and was the one to humiliate you at your most recent party. Why? Because I hate you with every fibre of my being. So I’ve gotta say, seeing that happy-go-lucky facade of yours get violently ripped away is EXTREMELY satisfying. So by all means, keep crying. It’ll cheer me up more than any of your dumb parties.”
Pinkie opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off once again.
“By the way, don’t even try and rat me out to your friends. I covered my tracks well enough to make sure that none of the evidence points back to me, and besides, you really think they’ll believe that I orchestrated all this? Huh?”
Pinkie whimpered, and tried once more to say something before she was cut off for a third time.
“Also,” Oliver pulled out his party invitation, “cancel my stupid birthday celebration for all I care. I didn’t want to attend in the first place. In fact,” he ripped the invitation in two and dropped the pieces to the floor, “I never wanted to attend any of the parties where I’d have to see your hideous face.”
He spat on one of the pieces before delivering the final insult. “Go to Tartarus, fatty.”
Pinkie looked down at the floor in silence, her once poofy mane flattening out. Oliver tried to maintain his pleased appearance, but it was becoming increasingly hard to ignore the guilt that had been growing stronger with every second of the day that he hadn’t diffused the situation. He had hoped that finally saying everything he wanted to say to Pinkie would give him peace, but that just made it twenty times worse. He was just beginning to wonder what to do now that everything was in the open when Pinkie began to speak.
“I guess… I was wrong about you.”
“What?” Oliver replied, confused at the unexpected statement.
“I know you hate me,” she said, slowly rising from the floor as she did. “I’ve known since the first time we met that you couldn’t stand me, but I thought I could change that. I thought that you becoming friends with the others, along with my constant care for you, would change that. I thought that deep down, you were actually a good person. I thought that maybe, we could be friends.”
Oliver’s guilt multiplied tenfold. What was happening?! He wasn’t supposed to feel guilty, this was his greatest triumph! He had to regain control of the situation.
“Well—”
“Be. Quiet.”
Pinkie hadn’t raised, or even changed her voice when she said that, but something about those words caused his mouth to immediately snap shut.
“But it turns out, deep down, you’re not a good person. In fact, you are the single most spiteful little brat I’ve ever met.”
Oliver’s eyes widened and his heart rate spiked. This new Pinkie, whatever it was, was downright terrifying. All of his survival instincts told him to get out of dodge as fast as possible and book it back to his room, but something about her gaze rooted him to the floor. Gone was the sparkle of joy her eyes usually held. Instead, her eyes were dull, yet seemed to hold back an unfathomable amount of wrath that he would have never imagined possible in Pinkie Pie.
“Even after you formed your little ‘friendships’ with Fluttershy, Twilight, and Spike, you still learned nothing from them. Instead of learning the value of kindness and friendship, you decided to act on your jealousy and anger. Even after all of the speeches that Twilight and Celestia gave you, friends are still just a means to an end for you. Of course, I shouldn’t expect an alien, monkey freak like you to learn anything.”
Oliver’s mind was rushing to process everything while his remorse grew with every word she said. He tried to say something, but in a moment of karmic retribution, Pinkie cut him off before he could even open his mouth.
“The worst part of this whole thing is that other ponies have fallen for it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to bite my tongue while Twilight told me about how much progress you were supposedly making. Still, I remained optimistic, hoping that somepony could cut through your rage and make you not such a big, big, BIG meanie pants.” She took a step forward, prompting him to take a step back.
“But now that it’s been shown that you’re willing to turn my family and friends against me just because you’re jealous that I’m happy and you’re not, well, it’s just like I said.” She took another step forward and the frowning face she made at Oliver would come to haunt his nightmares for years to come. “I was wrong about you. Now—” She took a few more steps until she was nose to nose with Oliver. “Get. Out. And never. Come. Back.”
Oliver slowly walked backwards to the door, never taking his eyes off of her in fear that she would pounce on him if he did. Once he reached it, he opened it, continued to walk backwards out of it, and then slowly shut the door. Once it was closed, he turned in a random direction on a dime (or bit, as the case was) and sprinted as fast as he could. As he crossed the bridge leading out of town, he came to a conclusion that caused tears to well up in his eyes.
“She was right,” he muttered.
Everypony was silent when Oliver finished telling his story. Judging from the expressions on all of their faces, they were all shocked and horrified. Twilight, Spike, and Fluttershy in particular looked extremely distraught.
Then, Pinkie said something that surprised them even more, which they hadn’t thought possible beforehand. “You didn’t have to do that, Oliver.”
“I know, but it wouldn’t be right to go home without telling what I did to you.” He turned towards everypony else and said, “Consider this my confession. I lied to all of you and turned you against Pinkie just because of my petty jealousy. Not only that, but I never told any of you after all these years out of fear, making all of you think Pinkie was responsible for something I did.” Oliver wiped away a tear that was threatening to roll down his cheeks. “That was the single worst sin I committed against her.”
He turned back to Pinkie. “Everything you said about me was right. You were completely justified in kicking me out of your house, and nobody would blame you if you exposed me for what I was and went back to your life. But no, you didn’t do that. Instead, you did something that rocked me to my very core.”
Oliver sat alone against a tree in the Whitetail Woods, staring at nothing in particular. It had been several hours since he arrived there and bawled his eyes out, and he had yet to move from his position. He had spent a lot of time thinking after he shed all the tears his body would create, and he had come to several conclusions.
First, Pinkie was one hundred percent right about him. He was a selfish punk who only cared about himself, he had no control of his temper, and he was a shameless coward. In his mind, he was the lowest of the low.
Second, he was a manipulative sociopath. Fluttershy, Twilight, Spike, and the rest of the Mane Six (including Pinkie) had shown him more kindness than anyone he’d ever met save his parents. Instead of accepting that kindness and allowing it to change him, he ignored it in favor of acting on his grudge. Not only that, but he deceived them into turning on Pinkie when she had done nothing wrong.
Third, he was jealous of Pinkie. Rain or shine, sleet or snow, day and night, she refused to let ANYTHING (or most anything) get her down. She had joy. Always did she have it, and so abundantly too! Oliver wanted that joy more than anything he’d ever coveted in his life, and became angry when he couldn’t have it. Now, after what he’d done to Pinkie and her friends, he’d never have it.
This brought him to his final conclusion: he was going to get up and walk into the Everfree Forest. No sane person (or pony) would dare do something like that. It was night after all, and all the deadliest predators would be looking for a meal. Oliver knew this perfectly well, which was exactly why he was going to do it. Why wouldn’t he? He was never going to see his family again, he was never going back to Earth, and he had ruined all of his friendships. With the realization of how awful he really was, he decided that he didn’t want to live anymore.
He stood up, took a deep breath of the cool night air, and made his way over to the Everfree Forest. On his way there, he noticed that Ponyville was alight with lanterns, and that ponies were running around the town as if searching for something.
“They must be looking for me,” he muttered. “Pinkie probably told them everything I did, and now they’re trying to find me so that they can throw me in jail.” He turned away from Ponyville and continued his trek towards Everfree. In practically no time at all, Oliver stood in front of what he had chosen to be his final resting place. Yet, at the moment of truth, he hesitated. He stared blankly at Everfree for a few moments before the gravity of what he was about to do well and truly hit him. So great was it, that he fell to his knees and clutched his head.
“God… help me,” he moaned.
“Oliver?” came a familiar high-pitched voice.
His blood ceased flowing through his veins when he recognized who was standing behind him.
“P-Pinkie?” He turned around, confirming that the pink party pony was indeed standing behind him. He looked away and asked, “Why are you here?”
“Because my Pinkie Sense told me that you’d be here,” she replied matter-of-factly.
He scoffed. “You know what I mean. Why are you here? If you’re here to remind me of how awful I am, don’t bother, I already know. I admit it, you were right! I am jealous of you! I am selfish! I am the scum of the Earth! Every last thing you said about me is right, so you don’t have to remind me.” He sighed. “Then again, you have every right to yell at me again. So go ahead, say everything you want, you deserve it after all that I’ve done to you.”
“Okay then,” she replied. “I’m sorry.”
He forgot to breathe for a few seconds when she said that.
“W-What?” he stuttered, slowly turning to face her.
“I’m sorry for everything I said earlier. I was under a lot of stress and Pinkamena just came out.” When she saw the blank stare she was receiving, she elaborated. “I have split personality disorder, and Pinkamena is my alter ego. The point is that I’m sorry for everything she—I—said back there.”
“You’re apologizing?” he whispered in disbelief.
Pinkie nodded.
Oliver choked back a sob and looked away again. “Why are you doing this to m-me? This is a sick joke, isn’t it? Revenge for what I did to you today? Fine, I deserve it! Go ahead and lau—”
He stopped cold when Pinkie walked in front of him, crouched down, and wrapped him in a hug.
“You don’t need to throw your life away,” she whispered. “You haven’t lost everything like you think you have, you’re not alone like you think you are, and you aren’t as hopeless as you think you are. You have a new home to replace the one you lost and you have friends who will do everything in their power to help you in your times of need. You may be bad, but you’re not alone, because everypony is selfish at heart. Not only that, but you’re able to change. You’ve just got to turn away from your destructive tendencies and let yourself be changed. Don’t worry, I’ll be by your side every step of the way, if you’ll let me.”
“B-But why?” Oliver whimpered, tears obscuring his vision. “How can you possibly forgive me after all that I did?”
“Because,” Pinkie responded, “I don’t deserve to be forgiven for anything if I’m not willing to forgive other ponies for what they’ve done to me. Besides, in spite of everything Pinkamena said, in spite of everything you think about yourself, I still believe in you. All of us do.”
“But how can I face them again after everything I’ve done?!” he asked, his voice growing frantic.
“Don’t worry about that,” Pinkie said, “it’ll be our little secret.”
Oliver was at a loss for words when Pinkie spoke again.
“So, with all that out of the way, I’d like to ask you something.” Oliver looked up into Pinkie’s eyes and saw nothing but love and compassion in them. “Will you be my friend?”
Oliver buried his head into Pinkie’s fur and began crying even harder than he had in Whitetail. All the while, Pinkie stayed with him and held him, humming a calming tune.
“So that’s everything. Not only did Pinkie forgive me for what I did, but she kept it a secret for all these years. Of course, I don’t think it was right to keep it hidden, but the point is that Pinkie… Pinkie showed me love, and that’s what changed me. None of the experiences I went through here, none of the trials I got through, nothing would have meant anything if Pinkie didn’t offer me forgiveness. And that is why she means s-so much to me. I l-love her.”
Oliver only then realized then that he had begun to cry. Now that he had started, the floodgates opened up, and he fell to his knees. He wrapped his arms around Pinkie and hugged her as tightly as possible.
“I love you, Pinkie.”
“I love you too,” she responded, tears rolling down her cheeks too. “I’m going to miss you.”
“Me too.”
Oliver suddenly felt many other legs, wings, and even a set of arms wrap around him. A brief glance told him that all the others were embracing him as he cried, prompting him to cry even harder.
“I-I’m going to miss all of you,” he croaked.
They stayed in that position until everyone was finished crying, at which point they reluctantly pulled away from each other. Silence descended on the room for a full minute before Oliver finally gathered up the courage to speak.
“I guess… there’s nothing left that can be said, then?” He didn’t receive an answer, bringing him to the realization that he had nothing left to stall with. “Alright then, let’s get this over with. Girls, Spike, I’m ready.”
He walked over to the Cutie Map and climbed up on the table as the Mane Six and Spike sat on their respective thrones. He clutched the bag that held his belongings tightly as they, along with Celestia and Luna, activated their magic. The table he stood on began to glow brightly with magical energy, and he felt himself grow weightless. Before he could disappear, he decided to say one last thing that was weighing on him.
“I don’t know how, but I’ll see you again someday.”
A burst of magical energy engulfed him, and he was gone. He never stepped foot in Equestria again, but his prediction came true.