It took a while, combining time for me to hoist a semi-coherent woman over my shoulder and through the portal and peel the two of us off the nearby wall, though I finally got the royal mare to calm enough for her to ask a question that didn't get muddled in gibberish.
"How?! How in Equestria -no- in all of Equus, did you use magic without a horn?!"
I reflected on her reason for her panic.
If, as a human, I could just wave my arm and flick my wrist in practiced motions to get an effect equivalent to a unicorn's horn, could that mean any pony could learn practical magic to some degree? I hummed at the thought.
"Hrm? Why hrm? Oh, Celestia, please don't tell me you don't know and just guessed!" Her mane was fraying about and sticking out every which way in a manner that made her seem comical, were it not somewhat depressing that all my work in calming her was quickly doing an about face.
"Now, your Highness-"
"Don't 'your Highness' me! You just broke every rule about using magic to start with when you did that stunt over in the human world!" Orc panic attacks barely phase me, Nord panic attacks I can remain impassive about, and most Altmer-originated ones are down right hilarious to me. The sight of an alicorn princess in the midst of one -regardless of her coat and mane colors- certainly put me on edge. There was something about her that made me feel that way.
"Perhaps breathing would clear the mind?" I felt as though my original expression of alarm when Pinkie Pie made a repeat appearance.
She let out a weak, humorless laugh, "Sorry, I got carried away again. I haven't done that since I tried to figure out how Pinkie Pie's Pinkie Sense worked!" I opted to inquire about that later should I get to it. "If you don't have an accurate explanation, that's okay. I was just caught off-guard that you could do that!"
A long sigh escaped my mouth, "I do apologize, though I think what I may have to say about that might be a bit much and long winded for the night. If I guess right, I believe it's well past time for rest." As I say, I turn around and find a window, seeing that the entire sky was darkened for the hour and a light glow of a solitary moon hung in the sky. Turning back to the Princess, she was mid-blush.
"Right, right. Sorry. I'll bother you with that in the morning, though I would love some answers then. Did Spike show you which room you'd be staying in?" A simple nod appeared to allay any potential worries she may have had. "Good. Well, I think I aught to head to bed, as well. Goodnight!" I waved a hoof back and watched her go before returning my attention to the mirror itself. Such a powerful artifact, and yet useless save for transporting one's self to a "distorted" mirror realm. I then turned away and attempted to find my room. I managed to find it after walking into a broom closet about twice and a latrine once.
~(☼~
I awoke lightly disoriented, forgetting the world I awoke to for only a few minutes before returning to this strange reality. The only thing that annoyed me for now was this strange headache that seemed to move about within the forefront of my skull. Dismissing it the best I can, I ambled about in a poor attempt at searching for the kitchen. My mental map seemed detailed enough, if only my surroundings weren't quite so similar. It took about thirty minutes for me to locate it. It took about another thirty to locate ingredients and change recipes due to the vegetarian nature of this new realm. I ended up settling for apple cabbage stew. It was one of the few that I knew and apples were in abundance, where as the cabbages appeared to be on their last legs. I was adding some spices to the pot as a flash of golden light appeared behind me with a strange springing sound. The voice was like a madgod's that I know, though smoother and lacking any accent. I did not accidentally add too much spices.
...The surprise made me drop the whole container in.
"Whoops! Sorry about that. Just wanted to visit the new tenant! Where are you from, anyhow?"
My eyes half-lidded again as I turned around to face the person -pony- that teleported in.
There was no one there. Not by the door, at the table, nor the hallway. Just a tea set-
-that wasn't there when I got in.
It was something that a particular daedric prince would own: everything mismatched. A typical-styled ceramic teapot decorated to look like a goat's head with red irises and yellow sclerae and the mouth twisting into the spout, blue knotted horn and deer antlers twisted together to form a handle with a short, dark mane as decoration, ears forming the cover for the pot. A yellow lion's paw and eagle's talon made up two of the cups. The other two were a green reptilian leg and a sable goat's hoof. The creamer pot was brown with a maroon-scaled tail with silver tuft at the end forming it's handle. A sugar pot was made with intertwined blue bird's wing and purple bat's wing. The silver tuft was also found as a goatee and eyebrows on the main pot.
"What? Not your cup of tea?"
Another spring sound following a snap barely registered in my mind as yellow light engulfed the set for a second and was replaced by a being made of all of those things. Even the irises remained two different sizes now that I saw him look at me. The ache in my right forehead was back, though a new one was starting up in my left.
A lion's paw waved in front of my face. "Hello? Anypony there?" Normal snapping from the lion's paw. "You're stew's on fire." A frown appeared on his muzzle. A snap of light materialized a black and white wooden board with a small black and white stripped ruler on it hinged so it will close. A strange hat adorned his head as he spoke, "Okay, reaction on the strange new unicorn, act two! And~ action!" With a clack, the ruler fell in front of my face. It was loud enough I needed to shake my head. I looked up and down the strange being, his paw and talon now on his sides, as if they were on his hips were his body not so elongated.
"Honestly, you process nearly as quickly as the writer types out this story!" A mocking smirk appeared on his face as he made eye contact with a section of the wall.
"That's it. It's official." Again. "I've gone mad."
Now it was the creature's turn to arch his brow. "I beg your-"
"Okay, Sheogorath, you win! Where are you. Let's get this over with so I can go home." I began looking around in unconventional areas: under the table, the counters, in the cupboards, inside the items in the cupboards, underneath the stove, in the flaming pot-
"Oh gods above!" I instinctively slammed a hoof on a lid and slammed it over the pot. I then looked at the lid then back at my hoof before dismissing it to mania. Smoke billowed from the lid's rim and began to form in the creature's shape again.
"Oh, no need to get so burned up about it. Also, you know Sheo? No pony here had ever heard of him before? How'd you meet?" Smoky arms formed and he rested upon his "hands" with his elbows upon empty air in rapt attention, "I simply must know."
I just sent a glare his way and using my magic, lifted the pot lid and aired the smoke away, dispersing it. "Won't air your grievances, then?" He reformed wearing a strange white outfit with a glass dome over his head. "Well, that's fine, when I met him first he was as much a space cadet as he is now. A lot had changed." Another flash of light as the outfit disappeared and he was an animated statue, "However, over a thousand years stuck in stone will do that to a pony. Or in my case-" another snap and his stony form dispersed and he was his "normal" self again, "-draconequus."
I stopped looking around. "Draconequus? What on Oblivion is that supposed to mean? I know it's what you are, by what you've stated, though-"
"Oh, just a dragon-pony hybrid with a whole lot of other neat things thrown in and a penchant for Chaos Magic," the draconequus flourished, pulling up balls of swirling colors that changes every half second with no determinable pattern before vanishing them. "Name's Discord, former element of Disharmony and ever-current Bringer of Chaos, and you are?"
A few beats passed before I stated, "Done," and surprising myself, blacked out.
~(☼~
I awoke gasping and sputtering after a torrential downpour of freezing cold water drenched me. Discord was above me with a large, orange barrel with the word 'Gatorade' written in large, white letters. I sent a glare and I growled at him, "Don't. Do. That. Again."
Unamused, the draconequus rolled his miss-matched eyes and tossed the barrel as it made an odd clatter and vanishing in the distance, "Oh puh-leese. Like that's scary." He looked directly at me then closed his eyes. "Seems you need to talk with a professional."
"A professional, what?" I was nearly interrupted when he snapped his eagle claw and suddenly I was dry and reclining on the strangest long chair-bench combo and he was in an over-stuffed, high-backed chair wearing a pair of half-mooned spectacles and the strangest three-piece suit I've yet seen in my life, and that wasn't even taking the ever-changing pattern as I looked at it each time. In his paw and talon were a pad of paper and a long, sharpened piece of wood set at the pad, ready to write. "Now, tell me how you feel?"
"That this is ridiculous, what are you even doing?"
He adjusted his glasses, "Well, trying something different, but seems I need to be a better friend first before you'll open up." A snap of his talon returned everything to their original position. Even the stew was back to smelling like it had been, only with the right amount of spice. "I suggest talking to some pony that's earned your trust and won't freak out like you just did." He shrugged, "Ah well, better without anyone else watching, right? Anyhow, I'd best be off. Chaos to spread with the best of intentions, and all that. Tootles!" With a wiggle of his claws on his paw, he suddenly spiraled in on a point and disappeared with a pop.
"Yeah, I don't think there's any amount of liquor that will help with that encounter."
~(☼~
After eating my fill and finding where I could store the left-overs (enchanted ice-box, why didn't we think of that?) I walked around, exploring the castle, only mildly disappointed in the lack of alcohol. After about an hour exploring, I found myself in the main hall. To my right were the main doors to the outside, to my left however was quite the sight to behold.
A large crystalline table was surrounded by six large chairs and a seventh smaller chair directly next to the one with the same mark that adorned Twilight's flank. Upon closer inspection, they all had marks upon them, save for the smaller chair. One had three red apples, another had three pink butterflies, another with three blue diamonds, one had a white cloud with a tri-colored lightning bolt of primary colors, and final one with three balloons with one yellow and two bright blue. Above the table was a large set of tree roots, acting as the base of a chandelier, crystals that shimmered when light hit them. If I squinted, I thought I saw images of ponies in them, most with smiles on their faces. I made my way up to the table and it seemed to hum with magic. I backed away from it. I was already overwhelmed when Discord decided to show me Chaos Magic. Not sure what was in this table, but I didn't want to find out and be overwhelmed again. I turned and was about to walk away when a light pinging was heard from the table. I couldn't help an audible groan escape my throat. Was my self-control slipping that badly? Was I under that much stress? Such a thing hasn't happened in ages. I debated with looking back when the front doors were knocked open roughly and two mares walked in. Princess Twilight and a cream yellow pegasus with soft pink mane so long I wondered how she didn't trip on it. The mark on her flank matched one of the chairs. Three pink butterflies.
"Okay, let's see where the map needs us today!" The princess's voice caused me to turn about. On the surface of the table was now indeed a map. Princess Twilight's and the other mare's marks floated above a certain point. I stepped closer for another look.
It was directly over this castle.
"Huh." I looked at the surrounding areas. A large mountain with a castle and buildings to the north with a waterfall, to the west of Ponyville was a small, arid town. Further west were basically badlands. To the far north was a crystal castle and buildings in a circular formation like the Imperial City, to the west were multitudes of large towns on the coast, one on top of clouds. To the east were towns similar, though the north-eastern one had a statue of a pony on it's hind legs holding aloft a torch in it's right hoof and a small tablet held in the crook of it's left leg. The whole thing was green and had a spiked crown of sorts. All in all, I wondered about the names of these cities.
"Really? Somepony at the castle? That's different." Princess Twilight's outspoken thoughts jarred me out of mine. She had looked to her friend.
"Maybe it's Starlight struggling on a friendship lesson? Or Spike needs some help?" Her voice was soft and familiar. I kept a mental note on that.
"Or," the princess pauses lightly as she turned towards myself, "maybe it's somepony new?"
Now they were both staring at me.
"What?"