“It’s wonderful to have you all back tonight. I’m Kathie Karrick and this is Kathie’s News Corner. As I’m sure you’re all well aware, we have a very special guest. Her name is Twilight Sparkle, and she’s one of Equestria’s princesses. Your highness, I can honestly say that it’s a pleasure having you here.”
Away from the cameras, a small applause sign lit up. The crowd for the show, which numbered nearly two hundred, didn’t pay it any mind. Everyone, from the crowd to the crew to the coordinators of the show, were all looking at the pony sitting adjacent to Kathie Karrick.
The chair that Twilight was sitting in was just a bit too big for her. This was only highlighted by the fact that the alicorn had elected to sit like a human so as to make herself seem less alien to those watching. A mug of tea was held in between her hooves as she sat there, trying her best not to feel a bit anxious about all of the eyes settled on her.
“It’s a pleasure to be here, Kathie,” she said, giving the older woman a heartfelt, if slightly tense, smile. “And please, just call me Twilight.”
Kathie responded with a Hollywood-winning smile that sent the alicorn’s fur on end. “Alrighty, Twilight. Now, as I’m sure you know, a lot of people are still reeling that we’re not the only ones out there in the universe.”
“Of course. This comes as a big shock to everycreature on Equus as well,” Twilight replied. “Not a few months ago, I myself would have never even dreamed about something so substantial happening.”
“It is substantial. If not the biggest thing to happen to humanity then at least in our top ten.”
The applause sign lit up. No one reacted to it.
Kathie cleared her throat as she leaned back into her chair. “Yes, well, I’m sure you’re expecting me to ask you a million questions about every little aspect of Equestrian life.”
The tip of Twilight’s horn glowed. Gasps and cries of wonder came from the crowd as she teleported a small notebook onto her lap.
“I’ve done some extensive research on your program,” Twilight said, a twinge of pride coming to get voice. “And after watching over fifty episodes of your show I’ve compiled a list of all possible questions that you’d ask and have thorough and hopefully thoughtful answers for all of them.”
A commotion broke out amongst the crowd. Some people started chuckling at the pony’s enthusiasm, others could no longer help themselves and started awing at how cute she looked sitting up like that. Seeing this, the show’s crew sprung into action, and in under a minute the crowd was calmed down.
The smallest of frowns could be seen on Kathie’s face as she looked off camera, but her smile quickly reappeared as she looked through some papers she had on hand. Twilight leaned forward, flipping open her notebook, which only earned her some more awing and laughter.
“It’s wonderful to have a guest so… prepared. If you don’t mind though, I think I’d like to stay away from daily life on Equus and talk about something that happened not a few weeks ago while you and your fellow rulers were speaking to the U.N. representatives.”
Twilight winced. “That… that wasn’t supposed to happen,” she said, ears folding against her skull.
Kathie laughed. “Oh, I’m sure it wasn’t. It did give us news people a heck of a lot to talk about. There’s been a ton of speculation and rumors ever since Mrs. Heartstrings made her debut, but before we get into any of that I’d like to hear your side of the story about what happened.”
“Lyra is one of my good friends,” Twilight said, not daring to look up from her coffee mug. “She heard that I was going to New York to talk to your delegates and insisted that she come.”
“And you just let her? On something as important as meeting with the U.N.?”
Twilight made a face. “Lyra can be… very stubborn if she doesn’t get her way. If I didn’t let her come with me she would have probably tried to sneak through the portal herself.”
“I guess you don’t get a lot of terrorists in Equestria then, huh your highness?” Kathie said, looking at the camera.
There was a pause amongst the show’s crew. After nearly a minute the applause sign flickered on. It was ignored.
Kathie coughed. “You have to admit that it was quite the show. What I found especially interesting is what Mrs. Heartstrings said right before you pulled her into the building. Something about you wanting a group of men all to yourself?”
“Oh that? Hahaha, Lyra was just being silly,” Twilight said, nearly dropping her mug as a blush found its way onto her face.
“So, Equestrians aren’t here to steal all of our men then? That’s a relief.”
Twilight looked up at Kathie. Her bright purple eyes flicked to the camera, then at the crowd before they settled back onto her mug. “Steal of course not. We ponies would never do anything like that.” She shifted from left to right, her feathers ruffling ever so slightly. “But if some human men were so inclined to come to Equestria we’d be happy to have them…”
“Oh really?” Kathie said, her eyebrow raising.
“Of course,” Twilight said with a nod. “There’s a lot of places to see in our kingdom that are breathtaking, and I’m sure that bringing in some humans to help make our daily lives better would be wonderful. I know you have technology that I can’t even begin to wrap my head around. With your efforts and our magic I’m sure we could do a lot of great things.”
“I’m sure.”
Twilight chewed on her bottom lip. “And if there were to be any other ways for our peoples to become closer I can say that most ponies would welcome it with open hooves…”
“You seem to have a few ideas on our races becoming closer. Would you mind clarifying?”
“Well, there’s a million different things that both sides could do to improve relations, but I feel like just sitting down together and getting to know each other would be good.”
“I’m sure every little girl would love having a talking pony as a friend,” Kathie said, looking toward the camera. “I’m definitely not a little girl anymore and even the idea of it makes me feel like I’m in my barbie pajamas again.”
The show’s crew exchanged glances. No one even bothered with the sign this time.
“I’ve been getting to know quite a few humans myself,” Twilight, seemingly ignoring Kathie’s fumbling. “There’s been some touch and go about a few things, cultural awkwardness and all that, but I can say that I’ve found some really good friends.”
“That’s fantastic, Twilight! Tell me, have you noticed anything different about us humans compared to your pony friends?”
“Many, many things,” Twilight said, perking up with a smile. “Your species is fascinating. We’re not totally different, but there’s some little things here and there that are really baffling.”
“Really?”
“Yeah! A lot of it is social things, but there’s some really interesting biological quarks that have a lot of ponies curious. Especially with your males. Like did you know that a man, no matter the ethic, will become noticeably calmer around mares?”
Kathie’s smile diminished somewhat. “Do they now?”
Twilight nodded. “I’ve run some tests. Out of a dozen men everyone has had slightly lowered blood pressure and heart rate when a mare enters the room along with pupil dilation. The funny thing is that the exact same thing happens to the mare! This only becomes more noticeable when the two are near each other. At ten feet dopamine is released and both parties become happy at seeing each other. At five feelings of warmth and affection being to grow in the mare and man. If one or both of them are sitting there’s a forty percent chance that both of them will scooch closer until they’re sides are touching or until the mare hopes into the man’s lap. This is when things get really interesting.”
Kathie, becoming visibly uncomfortable, placed her mug onto the table in front of her and leaned forward in her chair. “Yes, well, that’s very fascinating. If we could stop this discussion for just a minute so we can go to—”
“For reasons that we can’t yet determine, your males seem to find our coats very pleasant to touch. Nearly all of the mares that I’ve spoken to have said they they’ve very much enjoyed them being touched, so much so they they’ve commented about feeling safe in their arms.”
“Princess Twilight, plea—”
“It’s at this point that both parties are feeling the same comfort and safety as two loved ones that are sleeping in each other’s arms. I’ve seen both mares and men fall asleep holding each other, while others begin talking like they’ve known each other for their entire lives!”
Twilight looked like she was ready to leap out of her chair, her wings twitching and shifting at her sides as she wiggled back and forth in her seat. She turned towards the camera as if addressing the entire audience.
“I know your race has a natural aversion to xenophilia and bestiality, but from what myself and other ponies have recorded none of these negative feelings seem to be coming from any of the men. In fact, I’ve even recorded some increased heart rates and seen men look at mares in more ‘intimate’ ways. It’s almost as if we mares were designed to capture a man’s eye, from our snouts to the tips of our tails. The same can be said for your men, since there’s an… exoticness that really draws us in.
From what I’ve heard, there hasn’t been anything physical happening between anycreature yet, but there really seems to be signs that it’s coming to that.”
“Princess—”
“I swear I even saw a cutiemark glowing on a mare when she sat in the man’s lap, something which only happens when a mare finds her soulmate. Did you now that some of the studies I’ve conducted personally have shown that mares and men have a ninety-five percent compatibly rate. That includes likes and dislikes, tastes, and views on the future. Many, many men also like having a partner that’s smaller than them, which a mare is perfectly suited for.”
Twilight giggled to herself as if some hilarious joke had been told. Kathie looked off camera, gesturing toward some of the crew off screen.
“A mare, oddly enough, feels empowered when around a human male as well, and not at all deterred by the size difference. There’s some more studies that need to be conducted, but I imagine there’s not going to be any shortage of subjects for the mating aspec—”
Before anymore words could be said, the show went to commercial. Despite the applause sign not being now, this didn’t stop the crowd at the studio from breaking down into hysterical, but some thoughtful and analytical glances from some of the guys in attendance, laughter.