//------------------------------// // Chapter 18 - Disharmonic Probation // Story: Dawn // by Anachronon //------------------------------// “I can’t believe... that you have real bacon. And here I thought... you guys only eat fruits... and hay,” Rainbow Dash said between bites, what caused some chewed meat to escape her mouth. The narrowed glares of the guards around them remained unnoticed by the teenager. Fluttershy sighed in shame and Applejack snickered. Pinkie Pie had her plate full with all kinds of food and looked more like a chipmunk than a human with her inflated cheeks. Rarity, who sat beside the athlete, kicked her blunt friend’s shin. It certainly took away the rest of Rainbow’s tiredness for waking up so early. She yelped quietly from the pain and surprise. Not that the fashionista cared. She smiled sweetly, “Darling, the Prince granted us the courtesy to dine with him and pardoned us for the time being until the return of Princess Cadenza. Be so kind and show some table manners when in the presence of royalty.” She looked sheepishly at the white unicorn, “Your Highness, please excuse her uncouth behaviour.” Shining Armor chose to ignore the girl’s rudeness for the sake of his sanity. It still boggled his mind that these humans were other versions of his sister’s friends. Besides, he saw far worse from his hungry, almost starving, sibling after one of her long study sessions when she didn’t put a break into her schedule to eat, “No offense is taken. We weren’t sure what kind of food you might prefer, so we included dishes normally reserved for meat eating dignitaries.” It helped that the cooks asked their ‘visitors’ what kind of diet they had before breakfast started. He completely forgot about it and would have ordered daisy sandwiches, sweets and fruits. Fluttershy remained quiet for the duration of the whole meal, but after being patient for the whole time she had to finally satisfy her thirst for knowledge about this world’s animal kingdom, “Uhm, are there many sapient species around these lands? If you don’t mind me asking, Your Highness.” The former captain of the Solar Guard couldn’t remember the last time his status was addressed in such abundance. “Quite a few, yaks, diamond dogs, gryphons, and more. There are several hoofed races living within Equestria besides us ponies, too.” “Even cows?” Pinkie asked after devouring a family portion of cornflakes and observing the cheese in front of her like a curious cat. “Yes, why?” Shining inquired cautiously. Four friends were caught off-guard by this revelation. And the farmer of their group was repulsed, “Wait an apple pickin’ minute! How does that even work?” She pointed at the various kinds of milk based products like they had offended her greatly, “Where are these comin’ from?” “We can thank our neighbours for that, the yaks of yakyakistan. Their milk serves as a trade product and we pay them for it in exchange,” the prince answered patiently like it was the most common knowledge. The girls’ brains encountered an error and came to a stop. Applejack pushed a nearby plate of freshly made yogurt away from her, slowly. Fluttershy recovered first, “B-but who milks them?” she asked in a mix of morbid curiosity and the desire to forget what she just heard. Shining Armor and the crystal ponies didn’t understand what suddenly got into them. These humans behaved strangely, “Well, farmers of course. They go to meet the volunteers and do their job.” Pinkie’s lips trembled from mirth, “In other words you pull their udders… with hooves?” He rolled his eyes at such a ridiculous question, “No, we do it with our mouths. What do you think?” That did it. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie couldn’t hold it any longer and laughed to the fullest. “I-imagine it for a second Pinks! They’re like-” The athlete stammered and tried to make a serious voice, “-’Is that all what you got?! Pull my udder like you mean it!’” “That sounded so wrong!” Pinkie had another idea to follow her friend’s juvenile sense of humor and attempted to calm down. It didn’t really work out for her, “D-don’t be shy! There’s a lot more where this is coming from!” Rarity cringed, wanting to curl up and hide at such vulgar innuendos in public. Rainbow took over again, “Or what about an udder massage? This is how whipping cream is made here!” By now they both fell from their chairs. Fluttershy hid her red face behind hair and hands. The only lady in the room whispered something unintelligible under her breath over and over again like a mantra in order to banish the invading images of perverted bovines. Applejack was… sulking, “Ah can never look at our cattle again without gettin’ the heebie-jeebies.” She gazed at the duo, heavily annoyed, “Thanks gals.” No equine in the room understood what was going on, but their prince was surprised by something Rainbow Dash said, “How did you know? It’s true, every spa offers an udder massage. It is a fact that such treatment gives their milk a more creamy quality,” Shining explained honestly. Rainbow was holding her sides in response, suffering from pain in her diaphragm and slight problems to breathe. Pinkie Pie though gasped loudly, an eureka moment took a hold of her sugar-induced mind, “That’s it! It all makes sense now! A magical cow means magical milk, which means magical quality, which equals the third law of butter, proves the rule of chocolate, doesn’t contradict my argument that sugarcubes are snacks, plus massages and minus Gummy explains why this cheddar tastes better than any cheese I ever ate!” She leaned closer to Shining Armor and was all business, “How much do you want? Perhaps we can agree on a price.” A nearby guard pointed accusingly at the pink teenager, “Fresh Step and Steel Hoof were right! You really try to talk your way into somepony’s mind! Nothing you just said made any sense!” Rarity stopped him with a wave of her hand from further claims, completely unfazed, “Don’t worry, Sir. That is pretty much Pinkie Pie in a nutshell.” Another guard aided his fellow brother, “Not only is she a pervert, but a slaver, too! She just asked for a price to buy one of our neighbours! Does her evil know no bounds?!” Pinkie was greatly offended and hurt by such notions, “What?! Are you crazy?! I wanted to ask for a price to get samples of the milk and cheese!” Applejack coughed, “Err, Pinkie Pie? We don’t have any of them currency on us.” “Weeeell, what about other services to pay?” the walking enigma suggested cheekily. Perhaps she could give these equines their first human party? The guards whispered to each other, they knew that she tried to hit on their colleagues, but was this filly really that desperate for a roll in the hay? Shining groaned quietly, it seemed the rumor mill was running hot once more. Last time it took forever to quell the assumption that the prince felt ashamed and tried to compensate for his magic aura because of its pink coloration. Cadence liked it though and that was important. “Guards! This young mare-” “Woman!” interrupted a once more chipper Pinkie Pie. “Woman made a mistake and you shouldn’t interpret too much into it. When I catch anypony else who disrespects our guests again, then I can promise you latrine duty for the next couple of months! Did I make myself clear?” the white unicorn warned cooly. The risk of such unfortunate fate silenced the Crystal Guard immediately. After breakfast the five friends decided to explore the city, with the permission of their host. But they were forbidden from leaving the empire and had to stay low, no more incidents. The Crystal Empire was truly a beautiful sight to behold, all the houses and streets were made of different kinds of crystal in many shapes, their colors ranging from amber to overly bright blue to dark purple. Its name was well earned. But interesting, if perhaps predictable, were the chosen names of the various streets themselves. ‘Sapphire Path’, ‘Ruby Avenue’, ‘Emerald Alley’, ‘Topaz Road’, every kind of gem was most likely represented at some place. Additionally they were something never witnessed before by the crystalline appearing ponies, who observed the quintet from afar. Regardless, despite their unknown origin, enough merchants wouldn’t be stopped so easily from advertising their products to the humans. There was still one problem they had to face, one that Applejack already pointed out to them this morning. No bits! “It is the Worst. Possible. Thing! Such fabulous fabric and no money to buy it, a crime against fashion if there ever was one. Just imagine all the designs I could have created with them!” Rarity complained dramatically. Rainbow Dash had her hands in her pockets, frowning, “I don’t get why Twilight’s brother refused to give us a few coins. He’s the literal ruler of this place and must be loaded!” Fluttershy glared softly at her childhood friend, “Dash, don’t be greedy. Prince Shining Armor gave us already much more comfort than he had to. Remember, we are not really what you could call ‘wanted guests’.” “Right she is, my chromatic firebrand! But maybe I can help?” suggested a suddenly appearing Discord. Popping into existence right next to them in his natural form which caused some high volumed shrieks to escape the group. “So much for staying under the radar,” Rarity muttered while shaking her head, recognizing who that most likely was. “What in tarnation are ya?!” Applejack demanded to know in fear and wonder. Her question was ignored, “Did you eat a bad apple? No bells ringing when confronted with my illustrious charm and memorable voice? I am shocked!” A lightning bolt came out of nowhere and hit the grinning God of Chaos dead on, he wasn’t fazed from the light show at all. But it gave him goosebumps. Civilians left the premise immediately, not planning to become involved in eventual shenanigans. The animal lover was happy in a second, “Mr. Discord! I thought you left!” He chuckled fondly, “And missing out on the delicious chaos you humans could cause with your mere presence? Perish the thought!” That Princess Boring’s brother thought he could order a god around was hilarious on its own. Next time this little mortal would ask him to wash the dishes, like a normal person! Rainbow Dash balled her fists aggressively, “You! We nearly died out there because of you!” Pinkie Pie tried to defuse the situation, “Come on Dashie! It wasn’t his fault that this super mean Frosty Pants attacked the portal.” Discord huffed elegantly. “The nerve! After everything I have done for you! What about the fact that I gave you all the chance to meet Sunflank's sidekick again in order to apologize?” The sky blue teenager felt a little guilty now for her outburst, “Well, I guess-” “Or this one time I saved you from the Windigos near the park and prevented your certain doom?” he added like a disappointed father. Applejack winced in embarrassment, “Shoot. Ya’re right.” “See? Now, try again. What did you really want to say?” Discord asked with a, now, satisfied grin. “Thank you, Mr. Discord…” replied the group as one, though only Pinkie and Fluttershy said it with conviction. This, whatever he was, still gave the other three an uneasy feeling. The draconequus smiled to himself, it was time to have fun, “Hm, ‘Mr. Discord’ sounds way too formal. It makes me feel old as I am. How about ‘Lord Discord’?” They looked at him like he grew a second head. “Nah, you are right, too close to the truth. It should be something I don’t know.” Before any of the girls could say something he continued, “Or ‘Master Discord’, wielder of the forces of chaos and bane of everything mundane.” He spared a glance at Fluttershy, “Of course you are an exception my little human.” The girl in question narrowed her eyes ever so slightly, “Mr. Discord, please be nice to my friends.” Her interest got the better of her, ”But what did you mean with ‘help’?” Their benefactor contained an eye roll. Why were both Fluttershys always siding with those other grumpies? Discord showed them his open paw in response, when suddenly gold coins appeared on it. “Who needs a job or royal connections when you can just create the needed currency out of thin air?” he stated cheekily. Pinkie Pie wasn’t convinced, “Isn’t that illegal?” The draconequus flicked his claws and a judge’s robe covered his serpent-like body with a powdered wig atop his head, a cliched image of a judge of old. A big opened tome floated in front of him, the words ‘Constitution of Everywhere and Nowhere - What you never wanted to know’ could be read on the cover. Discord clicked with his tongue, voice mockingly sophisticated, “Well, let’s take a look, shall we?” He flipped a few pages to the right, mumbled incomprehensibly to himself, flipped a few pages to the left, only to mumble again, “Aha! Here it is. I found a very old law, it says that every god of chaos who creates bits out of nowhere and upsets the economical balance intentionally needs to be brought to justice. As punishment the law dictates that the offender has to ignore said law, because chaos doesn’t care for rules, social norms or regularities.” The book disappeared in a cloud of smoke, “I have spoken.” The five friends gazed at him, trying to comprehend his madness. None succeeded. “What? Did you expect a serious answer?” Discord asked proudly. Rarity was now on a personal mission, trying to find the goal of her search. Applejack noticed it first, “Rares?“ The fashionista blinked at the interruption of her thoughts, “Sorry Darling. It is just that our… chatter during breakfast had at least one positive aspect.” Joy dominated her face in an instant, “Prince Armor hinted on the existence of a spa! I admit that I am curious what kind of services these adorable equines are providing for their customers. But now that the issue concerning our liquidity is solved...” She left the sentence unfinished. Rainbow Dash shrugged, “I’m game when we’re talking about having some fun. No harm done, right? I mean it’s not like we’re stealing.” Applejack didn’t like it at all. It was deceitful. Though she could understand the allure, “No can do gals. Ah won’t take a part in this, but Ah won’t tell a soul either. Do what y’all want, but without me.” “No, thanks. I don’t need anything,” Fluttershy said uncomfortably. “Mmhhh~! All the treats I could buy!” Pinkie Pie commented, salivating. Discord was highly amused by their justifications, “These humans are a riot! The average pony these days would call Celestia on me for what I did, they are so adorably innocent in comparison to them.” He cleared his throat to gain their attention, attempting to be serious, “I brought you all here, true, but I admit that the landing wasn’t as pleasant as Mad Airlines promised. As your pilot, guide and chaperone I would like to make amends. Be it bits to buy a nice souvenir,” the draconequus looked invitingly at Applejack, “or something else, just name it. Call it a small wish of your choosing. Just think of something you want to do to spend your forced timeout creatively.” It felt like the metaphorical deal with the devil to some degree, but Discord never led them astray for as long as they knew him. Or so Fluttershy defended the draconequus, much to his own surprise. It was touching how the shyest one always stood up for him. “Well, fat chance. We are forbidden from leaving the empire, remember?” Rainbow Dash reminded in a deadpan tone. “And then there are the guards who were tasked to watch over us to make sure we keep our end of the bargain.” Rarity looked around to proof her point, but strangely nopony was there. Discord chuckled ominously, “Oh, don’t worry about the unimportant details ladies. Just enjoy yourself to your heart's content and let Uncle Dizzy work his magic. Helping the ones in need is simply what I do.” Definitely the devil. “Welcome to the Crystal Paradise! How may I help you?” asked the nice receptionist, a young crystal pony mare with an unrecognizable accent, a shiny silver coat, amber eyes and a short wavy mane, but a longer and smooth tail. It was admirable how she remained professional despite the appearance of a being she surely never saw before. “I certainly hope so, madame,” Rarity said politely. “What can you offer a non-pony like me to get rid of all the stress I suffered through in these last days?” A part of her felt ashamed for being here instead of searching for Sunset and Princess Twilight, but another, larger part reminded her that she had no choice but wait. So why not enjoying herself in the meantime? “Well, your body has similar proportions to a minotaur. One of our massagers is a certified physiologist and specialized in taking care of a foreign customer’s needs.” The receptionist looked through various documents and the spa’s day planner. “You are very lucky that he has no more appointments today. Please write your name on the list and I will notify him as soon as possible.” This was another difference between the two dimensions which surprised the humans when they were tossed into prison. There was no such thing as an ID card or other papers in this world. Trust in the honesty of what you were told by strangers was mandatory, perhaps even taken for granted. Did that mean that identity theft didn’t exist? But Rarity didn’t want to be in trouble again for using her real name like the last time. And her actions could cause her counterpart problems, something she wanted to avoid. A slight change had to be made. The mare took a look and smiled brightly at her customer, “You have a lovely name.” Her gesture was returned, “You are too kind. My mother used to tell he how much of a ‘Scarcity’ I am for her to have, you wouldn’t believe the puns I had to endure during my childhood.” A short laugh escaped the receptionist. “Believe me, I can sympathize with your situation. My mother called me…” She smiled coyly, “Sensual Touch. It is a pleasure to meet you.” Rarity giggled, barely preventing herself from outrightly snorting in an unladylike manner, “You have my condolence.” Sensual shrugged, “Well, it could be much worse. There is a reason why my sister is solely responsible for running the spa from her office.” She shook her head, “We both can’t explain ourselves what possessed mother to name her own daughter like that.” The girl’s sixth gossip-sense was tingling, “I can assure you of my discretion.” Sensual leaned closer, “Her name is Happy Ending.” Rarity cooed, “How naughty~” Pinkie Pie was certain, she landed in heaven. The desserts and other sweet products the crystal ponies had to offer tasted like perfection. There had to be ingredients she didn’t know existed, but what? Still, this had to wait. Something much more important just happened, like meeting family. And her big sister looked exactly like she imagined her to be! The same gray skin, or more fur in this case, the same haircut, and most importantly, the same expression of unreachable happiness. “Oh Maud, I am so glad that we ran into each other! And your frock is just cute!” the pink teenager gushed, without a care if bystanders heard her. The stoic mare blushed a little at the unexpected compliment. Not many things managed to penetrate her calm exterior, but meeting an alternative version of her little sister who wanted to cuddle her like an oversized doll would do the job. Maud’s saddlebags were filled to the brim with research notes for her rocktorate. Her original plan was it to enjoy a hearty breakfast before she would return to her studies. But no plan ever survived contact with Pinkie Pie. As expected by her sibling, she gave her a summary of the reasons why she and her other friends were here and what happened since their arrival. Without taking a breath of course. Though there were details which triggered the Earth Pony’s big sister mode fiercely, alternative version or not, “Pinkie Pie? Who exactly put you in prison? I would like to have a few words with them.” The human hugged her with force, smiling sadly. “You are really the bestest biggest sister I could wish for, no matter how you look,” Pinkie said with a noticeably touched and much quieter voice than was normally known by her before releasing the smaller mare. “S-so? What do you think I should do? I could reaaaally use your help.” Maud nuzzled the surprised teenager. And she very much appreciated the furry contact, it tickled. “Follow your heart, it will tell you what to do. Sunset Shimmer may forgive you, or maybe she won’t. It depends on how much she is hurt on the inside because of what you all did,” the earth pony advised honestly. Pinkie Pie flinched like she was hit. “But what is if us being here won’t be enough? Usually I would just organize a big party in order to make people smile again! You know how bad I am with handling situations like that!” The stoic mare nodded in understanding, that was something both Pinkies had in common, “You simply have to hope for the best. But remember, no matter how this will end, your friends and family will be there for you. I will be there for you.” “I don’t know how I deserve you,” Pinkie stated with wet eyes. A kind smile graced now Maud’s face, “Don’t worry. I can be the rock in your life to lean on, preferably quartz. The same can be said about the Maud in your world.” The human girl laughed quietly, “Your jokes are as hard to swallow as I expected them to be from you as a pony.” “Of course. Boulder has liked my jokes since the day he was a pebble.” She took him out of her pocket and stared at her pet rock, “Next month we will celebrate his 20th birthday… they grow up so fast,” Maud explained passionately, for her standards. Sometimes Pinkie was worried about her bestest of siblings. She knew that her relative preferred to surround herself with rocks, because they didn’t judge her, even as a human. But then again she had no real room to talk either, her ‘pet’ was a toothless alligator plushie. The party lover hugged her equine sister once more, just tighter, “Thank you Maud! This is a reason to celebrate!” But first she had to drink her still untouched hot chocolate, so she did. It was sensational. “Oh my gosh!” Pinkie’s fine motor skills suffered in her state of enforced hyperactivity, the cup fell out of her hand and nearly shattered on contact with the wooden floor. If not for Maud who caught it in a way that even the physics defying teenager had difficulties to understand what she just saw. “Nice catch! My wife made these,” the crystalline salespony informed from behind the counter. He was a pudgy stallion with a dark ice gray coat and a white mane in the form of a cinnamon, the tail short and stubby. His black eyes conveyed warmth. Pinkie Pie blushed strongly, “I-it was an accident! I didn’t mean to do that, I swear! Your chocolate just tasted so incredibly good that I lost my head for a moment!” A disarming smile came to his muzzle, “Don’t worry. Nothing happened.” Maud acknowledged the crystal pony’s calmness, “I would have paid for the damage,” and took a glance at his nameshield, “Mr. Pastry.” The owner of the bakery rolled with his eyeballs, “It’s alright Miss. I never had a customer quite like your… sibling.” The duo's sisterly interaction baffled most equines. “I think she pulled in more sales than I would normally earn in a day.” Pastry gave their table an amused look. “What would you like to test now?” Pinkie grinned over both ears. “Strawberry ice chocolate, please!” Maud nodded in agreement, “Wise choice, Boulder approves.” Witnesses around them already gave up, they simply couldn’t figure out how this strange creature managed to drink 15 different kinds of hot chocolate without jumping through a wall. Or having a heart attack. Mr. Pastry wore it openly as a badge of pride that his bakery offered 20 different recipes of hot cocoa during the winter season, from all around the world. The army of empty cups on the siblings’ table spoke volumes about the quality. Pinkie licked her lips happily before taking a notepad and a pen out of her hair, scribbling something down, “Dark chocolate from Zebrica, check!” The decision was final, she wouldn’t take a single coin she didn’t earn herself through honest work. But the opportunity to learn about the farming methods of another species was too much of a present not to accept. A teleportation later she found herself in a green wonderland full of life, the exact opposite of the frozen wastelands she was in before. Animals made themselves a home at every corner and Applejack stood on the top of one of two small mountains which granted a breathtaking view over the flourishing valley beneath. But only in the distance, close to the dominating monuments of nature, another picture entirely presented itself. Most of the trees had been chopped off and a parched riverbed ran between them. Though the space between the mountains looked like some kind of battlefield as well, smashed fruits were rotting around, luring insects and rodents. What happened next was something she would take into the grave. The owners of various pumpkin fields and other kinds of crop, which decorated the entire area around the girl, spotted her and accused Applejack of being a ‘mutant spy from them rotten McColts’, whoever they were. Being called a vermin and receiving squishy fruits to the face was no experience she wanted to repeat any time soon. After the bombardment ended the leader, some old mare who introduced herself as Ma Hooffield, demanded to know what her intentions were. It was clear as applesauce that these families disliked each other to the blood for some reason. “And Ah tell ya! Ah don’t know any McColts! Ah didn’t even know y’all live here until ya and yer kin attacked me!” Applejack exclaimed heatedly, by now fed up with this spy nonsense. Though first she needed more information, “Where are we anyway? Ah’m only here thanks to the help of a… whatever he is.” Ma Hooffield raised her voice, a thick scottish accent colored her words, “Likely story ya pony mutant! That’s exactly what a good-for-nothin’ McColt spy would say! Everypony around these parts knows the Smokey Mountains and that the west mountaintop is Hooffield territory!” “Not the brightest candle in the holder, isn’t she?” Applejack thought dryly. “Why are ya callin’ me ‘mutant’ all the time?” The earth pony pointed at the evidence upon her head in annoyance, “Tryin’ to be smart, aren’t ya?” Applejack chuckled in embarrassment, “That’s a long story.” She decided to take another approach, outstretching her hand as a sign of peace, “But Ah think we met on the wron’ foot. Name’s Applejack and Ah came here to learn from y’all, as a fellow country gal ma’self.” Ma Hooffield was suddenly much calmer and grunted, staring at the hand like a newly discovered bug. “Why didn’t ya say so from the start? No McColt spy would ever understand a thin’ about farmin’.” “But Ma! What if she’s just tryin’ to trick us?” asked a second what seemed to be mare. With a body made of muscles and a voice belonging to somebody who surely ate iron nails for breakfast. A lanky stallion grumbled at his second cousin twice removed, “And what do ya think we should do? Puttin’ her in there?” He nodded in the direction of what could only be described as an incident waiting to happen. An insult to every architect. Of course Applejack noticed it in the moment she arrived. Every ‘house’ on this mountain looked like something made by a ten year old who had built his first tree house. Though on the other mountain besides them resided the exact opposite, a product of construction skill. A giant fort. What were the odds? “Let me guess. McColts?” the teenager queried curiously, looking at the wooden creation in wonder. How these equines were able to handle tools with their hooves to a certain degree like humans did with hands defied all logic. Ma gritted her teeth, “Those gosh darn woodpeckers think they’re so special, because they’re good in buildin’ things.” She spit on the ground in distaste. Applejack saw a pattern, “In short, y’all are great when it comes to growin’ food, but can’t build a simple shed. And the McColts are the exact opposite.” “And? What is it to ya?” the matriarch of the family wanted to know like an inquisitor. Applejack was simply confused by the open sharpness in Ma’s tone. “Why aren’t y’all workin’ together with the McColts instead of fightin’ them?” A chorus of loud gasps filled the air. A stallion even fainted from shock. “Are ya out of yer mutant mind? Hooffields and McColts are sworn enemies since four generations,” Ma Hooffield replied in bemusement. Applejack shook her head. “Look, y’all could grow crops and the McColts do the constructin’. Isn’t that much better than hatin’ each other’s guts?” Though the farmer felt bile in her throat, caused by the bitter irony of this situation, “Ya lyin’ hypocrite! Ya didn’t give Sunset a darn chance when she needed yer support and now ya try to lecture other folks?!” A second round of indignation followed suitly. The stallion from before woke up for three seconds before fainting once more. Ma Hooffield circled around Applejack, as if trying to figure out her motivation for saying such things in the first place. “Becomin’ friends with those backstabbers? Next ya wanna tell us that there’s a new alicorn.” “What’s an ‘alicorn’?” Some of the earth ponies laughed at her cluelessness. The leader of the family silenced her kin with a gesture of her hoof, “Ya must be the worst spy Ah ever saw or tellin’ the truth.” She sighed ashamedly at being such a bad host if that was the case. “How can ya not know what the three princesses are? Were ya livin’ under a rock?” Applejack wasn’t certain what that meant. Was Princess Twilight something they didn’t saw before? Ma Hooffield took her thoughtful expression as a sign to end this senseless discussion, “Ya chit-chat will bring us nowhere. But Ah’m a reasonable mare. We can show ya all about the earth pony way to live, if ya promise not to tell them city folks about us when ya return home. Take it as an apology for bein’ downright rude. Normally we don’t get any visitors.” “What?” came the eloquent question. A colder atmosphere took hold of the conversation. “Ah don’t expect from a stranger to understand, but we were cast out for still believin’ into the teachings of our ancestors and just want to be left alone.” It would explain why Ma Hooffield’s kin lived in the middle of nowhere. “Ah’m not sure Ah understand. Are ya tryin’ to tell me that ya family never leaves this here valley to trade goods with others?” Applejack couldn’t imagine such a way of life. No contact to any form of civilization? How was that possible? “We Hooffields are one of the oldest earth pony houses and we always refused to let new blood into our tree. Call it foolish, but that’s how we decided to live. One of the very few things we can agree on with the McColts. Accept our terms or leave,” Ma explained with solemn finality. The human teenager just noticed now that every of these ponies looked very similar. In many shades of maroon or brown with unkempt and frizzy manes and tails, available in all age groups. Only that Ma Hoffield had white hair and looked clearly like the oldest member of their small society. Even more disturbing, there were at least three in between who looked like special cases. Then it dawned on her, eyes widened by the realization, “Y’all family? Like family by blood?” At least over 30 Ponies surrounded her, all much closer related than she ever thought possible. Everypony nodded in confirmation. “Them hicks!” Applejack shouted in her mind, feeling dizzy all of the sudden from this revelation. He promised that the Neighagara Falls would offer tranquility and rare wildlife, no matter which season. And she wasn’t disappointed. Fluttershy observed her surroundings for hours by now. It was cold here, but well worth it, the pictures and sketches she could make were of high quality. It was very nice of Mr. Discord to give her a camera, material to draw and even an encyclopedia about the various animals around these parts, many of which were mythological back home. She had the honor to witness a good number of noble creatures. Like the majestic azure phoenix with a plumage of different shades of blue and white colored flames at the wingtips, or a dire wolf with a size three times bigger than the common wolf from earth for example. But some animals were already known to her, too. A snow fox, some squirrels, arctic owls. It was lovely and the sounds of the rushing waterfalls behind her had a calming effect on the meek girl. Fluttershy sighed in bliss. “I wish our world could offer such magical wonders. I never had such fresh air to breath either.” She walked around a giant of a tree before arriving at a meadow. Suddenly a pink bunny jumped out of the high grass, Fluttershy squeaked from the unexpected encounter. “Oh my!” The critter had widely spread black antlers on its head, a strange combination of colors. She took the book from her bag and found what she was looking for in an instant. “You are a jackalope!” Fluttershy exclaimed joyfully. Although the presence of this lepus caused some questions in her head, “Strange. According to the book they normally hibernate during winter. What is it doing here?” As if reading her mind it closed the distance between them and looked up at her with innocent black eyes. Fluttershy couldn’t resist the little guy’s charme, “Awww~!” In the moment she held her hand close to pet it everything changed. Its eye color switched from black to blood red and sharp teeth were shown to underline the treacherous act of aggression. “You are a vampiric jackalope!” the teenager shouted in panic and stumbled backwards. And just in time, it nearly bit into her hand. She turned around to run, but found herself surrounded by the jackalope’s furry friends. They seized her up and glanced at each other as if debating silently who may have the first turn. Dinner was served. Fluttershy whimpered fearfully, “P-please! I-” A mighty roar interrupted her. What looked like a giant crossbreed between a lizard and a mammal entered the scene, easily twice as big as a pony. Something she never heard or read of before. Nearly its whole body was covered by scales, violet at most places and a sickly green on the underside from the stomach to the end of a long tail. The claws were sharp, the legs athletic and lethal lilac thorns, ordered in a straight row, greeted prey and enemies alike from its neck to the lower back. Its upper body though was protected by thick midnight blue fur and the massive predator’s head reminded clearly of a big cat. Its teeth, cat eyes, fluffy lynx ears and nose had the same sick green color scheme as some of the scales. The jackalopes started to growl immediately, some would say hatefully. And much to Fluttershy’s surprise they ignored her entirely. “Perhaps I can slip away?” she reasoned hopefully. Then all hell broke loose. The halfbreed jumped into the frey and ripped, quite literally, into the jackalopes. Who in turn jumped on the intruder and delivered bite after bite. Although there was no time to admire nature’s beauty in its most primal form. A shame. She recognized the her given opportunity and tiptoed backwards. However, her attempt of escaping silently was dashed immediately. Fluttershy winced with squinnied eyes and glanced down in dread, she stepped on a thin branch. Neither the hybrid, nor most of the vampiric monster bunnies took notice of her, except two. “Eep!” was her scared outcry before she turned tail, the jackalopes on hot pursuit. The poor girl was sure that she ran for two minutes without a break until she stumbled over a root she missed and fell. “Oof!” Her followers squealed in delight and jumped at her with bared teeth. Fluttershy crossed her arms in front of her head and braced herself. And continued to do so, but nothing happened. No pain from being bitten, no more growls, just the tranquility of nature. Fluttershy lowered her arms and looked around. She certainly wasn't here before and the things she left behind waited at her side to be picked up, meaning the sketch book and the encyclopedia. “M-Mr. Discord?” Nobody answered, but her new location was enough proof to her. Before her arrival she wanted his word not to intervene if not absolutely necessary. She wanted to experience everything without an escort. Meeting animals was always much easier for her alone. “Your entrance was so radical. My name’s Tree Hugger and I never saw anything like you before, what are you?” a very relaxed female voice asked. Fluttershy was confronted with what must be the very definition of a hippie, albeit one with four legs. She was an earth pony with a light harlequin coat, but more importantly did she have a mane and tail made of light amaranth with light vermillion streaks mixed dreadlocks. Her eyes were pale light grayish purple and puffy. A bright headscarf which was covered by stitched flowers completed the picture. The mare’s ‘Cutie Mark’, she believed Sunset once called them if she remembered correctly, showed a tree with a heart-shaped canopy reminding of the deepest autumn because of its red coloration. “Uhm… my name is Flu-Fluttershy. And I am a human,” the teenager explained quietly. The mellow attitude of Tree Hugger was unshakable, “Righteous~! You even have the exact same name like a friend of mine. What a cosmical coincidence.” Fluttershy smiled nervously. “Come, let us recharge our chakra in my humble kingdom and tell me all about your purpose here.” On their way the unequal duo talked about the most likely reason for Fluttershy’s arrival and what events led to it. She was deeply fascinated by what she was told. Apparently the creature who had attacked the jackalopes was a chupacabra, a beast that ate normally goats as a main diet. Chupacabras and vampiric jackalopes had always been arch enemies, which was the reason for the attack. “Vampiric jackalopes fed on blood, like nature’s greatest mosquitos. Their nose is quite skilled in finding the nectar of life. But a chupacabra gives them a serious case of bad vibes.” Fluttershy didn’t get it, “Huh?” Tree Hugger hummed, still smiling as if in her own world. “You see, they have acidic blood which causes the fluffy vampires to lose all their self-control. But I can understand their inner conflict. Getting your sense of smell destroyed by the scent of somepony’s blood isn’t a good basis for a harmonic co-existence. And chupacabras are very territorial, they don’t tolerate other predators on their land.” “Incredible, I didn't think that nature would create such forms of rivalry,” the girl marveled. “I wonder how the chupacabra could even be there in the first place. Normally they don’t live in this area,” the mare contemplated in over exaggerated wonder. “Maybe the universe wanted to save you and sent it to your rescue. That would be completely radical.” Or a certain draconequus, so Fluttershy mused to herself. Tree Hugger led her new guest to a cottage. It held a similar appearance to what the teenager saw from her counterpart’s home, though it was darker and looked less decorated with birdhouses and more with bare patches of earth all around. A funny smell in the air grew stronger the closer they were to the earth pony’s home. Fluttershy’s eyes turned into pinpricks at what she witnessed inside. Plants with many thin, long leaves welcomed her in various sizes and high numbers. The smell increased tenfold and started to cloud her mind. She knew this plant, not only did she now recognize the smell thanks to its unmistakable appearance, but she read a lot about newest research projects concerning its medical use in human- and animal medicine. Not to mention every school having its certain students who smoked the plant. “I-is your entire cottage filled with weed?” Fluttershy asked, seriously dumbfounded. Tree Hugger raised an eyebrow and showed for the first time something else than utter carefreeness, “Weed? Are you talking about my dream herbs? I didn’t know somepony except me knew about them.” Fluttershy stared at her host. “Dream herbs?” To show what she meant the earth pony went to a nearby plant and nibbled on some leaves, “I found them a few years ago thanks to their smell. You should try it, they are very calming for body and spirit. I owe them my clarity and I can promise you that I never felt more balanced in my life before fate led me to such delicious self-fulfillment. I can’t imagine a life without them and their message of peace.” Fluttershy wasn’t sure if she should cry or laugh upon realizing that even ponies had stoners. “Eenope!” Discord answered in a Big Mac voice, crossing his arms in finality. Rainbow groaned. “Why not?!” she demanded to know huffingly. The draconequus stroked his goatee, acting thoughtfully, “Let’s see… Oh, yes! It could be the tiny detail that I won’t send you into some forgotten temple in an even older and very dangerous jungle just that you can live out your Daring Do fantasies.” Rainbow Dash was visibly surprised, “H-how?!” He smiled knowingly, “Please. Your counterpart fangirls about this book series all the time and I know that you humans have it, too. Spoiler alert~!” Discord gave her a deadpan, “You won’t survive five minutes.” She didn’t like to be told off like that, “Oh yeah?! I can... I can-” The athlete looked around until her wings came in sight and returned the received sass with a smirk of her own, “I can outfly whatever comes at me!” Discord leaned down to be on the right height for a good old eye-to-eye stand-off. “Oh? So you want to tell me that you like to live at the edge?” Rainbow nodded, convinced about her cause. An unreadable grin adored his features before he snapped his claw, causing an abrupt change of scenery. “What gives?!” she exclaimed, completely caught off-guard. The teenager noticed her new clothes instantly, an exact copy of the infamous Daring Do outfit itself. A dark olivine vest, tan colored shorts, sturdy dark brown boots to below the knees and a tan pith helmet with a dark olive band. At first glance It seemed that they were in some kind of huge camouflage colored tent. A small table with a well drawn map of lands unknown to the human and names written in languages never heard of were to her right. A pen, divider and a compass occupied various positions on the piece of parchment. In another corner was a rainbow colored sleeping bag. Rainbow Dash gasped in a high pitch, “Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! I look like Daring Do!” The one responsible for this event polished his paw on his chest as if expecting praise. “Well, what is an adventure without the right touch? Now, go outside and have some fun, just be mindful of your first step.” She snorted at this helpful piece of information, “Please! I can take care of my-ahhhh!!” What Discord missed to tell her was that the tent’s entrance led downstairs. A huge cliff to be precise. He floated besides the screaming teenager, easily keeping up with the speed of her fall, “You have to speak louder! The rushing wind makes too much noise! And maybe you should use your wings, but that is just my own humble opinion!” His casual observation kick-started Rainbow’s memory that her body was blessed with additional parts to save her life. In a desperate attempt to get hold of the situation she let her instincts take over, as always when she flew. “Woah!” Dash exclaimed panicky after barely avoiding several trees until she managed to land on the ground, or more crash landed. She would feel that the next morning. Discord laughed at what he witnessed, “What a show! Very Wonderbolt worthy.” Rainbow stood up and gave him the evil eye, “Are you insane?! You are supposed to protect, and not endanger us!” He smiled innocently, “What’s the matter? I thought you like to live on the edge? Rule number one! As an explorer and adventurer you always have to expect the unexpected.” “Do you think this is funny?!” she fumed. The draconequus lost his impish twinkle and stared unimpressively at the teenage girl, “I guess you’re not as tough as you want others to believe when something like that already makes you quit. A shame.” Rainbow Dash blushed fiercely in embarrassment, “Y-you just surprised me, that’s all.” He looked up, “Well then, here comes your second chance, Ms. Do.” She followed his gaze and saw what seemed to be some kind of very large carnivorous bird, easily taller than her family’s house, and it had three floors. Razor sharp claws at the end of its feet and a beak big enough to devour her in one bite were two of the first things Rainbow noticed. The torso was covered in bright brown feathers on the lower half and white around the top, including the head. It had steel blue feathers around threatening looking yellow eyes and the inner side of two enormous wings, which could block out the sun in the right angle. The entire backside from below the neck to the tip of its pinions and the rest of the wings didn’t seem to be protected by plumage, but something else. “Err, Mr. Discord? Those gray and black feathers are strange. It looks so, well…” Rainbow didn’t know how to explain it precisely, she could be wrong. “Segmented?” the draconequus helped out. “Yes. This, my dear daredevil, is a southern roc. And what you tried to describe aren’t feathers, but scales in feather-like shapes. Roc prey upon molting dragon younglings while their scales are still soft. And a predator with such a unique diet needs all the advantages it can get when facing fire-breathing food.” “Why do I have the feeling that it doesn’t want us here?” Rainbow queried nervously. Discord crossed his arms and lowered his head in thoughts, “Perhaps you look exotic enough that it wants to know how you taste?” She gulped. “Or, but I am not sure, these roc eggs on the rock spur over there belong to our angry looking friend and we are at the wrong place at the wrong time.” He hit his head in realization. “Of course! We are on the other side of the world and it’s breeding season. Why didn’t you remind me of that?” The roc made itself ready for a swoop. “M-Mr. Discord?” Rainbow Dash’s bravery broke apart in face of such a deadly threat. With an outraged battle cry, that sounded like coming from the biggest eagle alive, it dived. “I mean it’s not like we plan to make us an omelet,” he mused calmly and glanced judgingly at the scared human. "Or do you?" It approached fastly, ready to rip them to shreds with everything the livid predator and mother bird got. “Get us out of here!” Rainbow shouted in panic. Discord raised an eyebrow at her fearful tone, “Are you sure? I don’t think Daring Do would approve of your decision." An ear-splitting screech nearly knocked them down. "On the other paw-” “Screw Daring Do and save us! Now!” she interrupted harshly. He held up his appendages in a surrendering manner, “OK, OK, no need to be pushy.” They disappeared in the moment the roc hit their former position like a living meteor. Rainbow Dash was laying in her bed, back in her original clothes, breathing heavily. “Did you learn your lesson?” Discord inquired in a rare moment of seriousness. She could only shake her head in mental exhaustion, not sure what the God of Chaos meant. “You wanted to live an adventure like Daring Do, but forgot that this isn’t some fantasy world any longer. Everything that can harm you here, will.” He opened a rip in reality in the form of a door, showing the living-room of his home before he turned his head to look down upon the teenager, “The fun stops when your own death becomes a tangible option, doesn’t it? Remember that the next time you ask for something stupid.” “I know,” she whispered guiltily though he still heard her. “This whole Anon-a-Miss mess showed me how much of a screw up I am. I just thought I could forget about it, even if only for a short time, you know? Sunset deserves much better friends than me.” Discord rolled his eyes, “Oh, stop it with the self-pity. You mortals are always so melodramatic when it comes to making mistakes.” He sat down besides Rainbow. “In fact, life is all about making mistakes. If not for them, it would be incredibly boring to even exist, don’t you think? Failure is the needed spice to make things interesting, because without them you would never improve and learn to be a better person. I mean look at me, I am the incarnation of chaos and a god. I thought myself above consequences for the greatest part of my existence and the only thing that mattered for me was my own entertainment. It needed a shy pegasus and a nearly fatal betrayal after many eons of solitude before I finally realized that there are more important things to care about.” Rainbow sighed strongly, before she stood up and faced the draconequus with uncertainty in her orbs, “You think Sunset and Twilight will forgive us when we show them that we are really sorry for what we did?” He chuckled dryly, “Girl, you don’t understand. Forgiveness can’t be earned, only freely given. Can you forgive yourself for what you did? Can Sunflank Junior forgive you after you let her down when she was most vulnerable? Can Bookhorse forgive you for betraying her faith in you? To forgive means that you try to banish an event into the past and move on, but it doesn’t undo what happened, or the feelings it created. Saying that you forgive doesn’t equal that you forget, nor that a damaged relationship will ever be the same. Only time will tell what the future may bring, but in the end you will have to accept the consequences.” Dash listened attentively, but didn’t say anything, she heard that shard of wisdom before. A short glimpse at Discord’s dimension made her question if she saw right, “Aren’t those the guards who were supposed to watch over us?” She blinked in confusion. “And why are they wearing maid outfits?” Stallions dressed like mares wore the most ridiculous attires imaginable and did chores which didn't necessarily qualify as useful. Their eyes had swirls in them instead of pupils, a clear sign for the girl that something wasn’t right. Discord’s usual self returned with a vengeance, attempting to block her view, “But of course! You see, I convinced the crystal ponies to help me instead of wasting their precious time with observing teenagers. I decided to renovate.” Rainbow could catch a few images still, particularly one pony chasing after what appeared to be a rabbit made of dust as his slim body wasn’t really blessed with girth after all. “And breaking things and making dust bunnies is your idea of ‘renovation’?” She didn’t believe him for a second. This guy could do whatever he wanted from what she witnessed with a snap, literally. He laughed much too joyfully, “Where is the fun in making sense? Just think about what I told you. But now excuse me, I have to look out for Applebrain and Fluttershy. Bye!” The door was quickly closed behind him. Should she tell the others? But then the conversation from earlier shot through her mind and what happened. Rainbow groaned and fell back on the softest mattress in her life, mumbling to herself, “Nah, I won’t risk pissing off some big shot who can most likely turn me into whatever he wants whenever he wants. Not worth it.” Time for a well-deserved nap. “A wise choice, indeed,” another male voice suddenly agreed in a deep husky tone. Rainbow tried to jump out of her bed, entangled a foot in the blanket and landed with the grace of an elephant face first on the ground. “W-who’s there?!” She looked around frantically. An amused chuckle filled her ears, “There is no need to bow, but I appreciate your thoughtful gesture nonetheless. Please, call me Sombra.”