A few weeks passed by after the ‘Golden Issue’ - as it had been called from within the small group of friends I had after it got known what happened between Rarity, Golden and I.
Once we left Golden’s home, I quietly escorted Rarity to her home, after which I simply went back to Twilight's castle.
Seeing my expression on my arrival as she greeted me, said Princess tried to stop me to talk; to see if everything was fine. The door closing in her face as I entered my room in deathly silence was the clear answer that I didn't want to be disturbed at all.
News spread fast after that - but only because I think Twilight told her friends about what happen once she talked with Rarity.
Rarity - from what I understood as well - was in such a rut for what happened that she barely left her home to spend the spa day she would with Fluttershy. All she was doing was the work she was paid to do, and then do...something else in private.
From what I understood up to that point... she was beating herself up, blaming herself for her short-sightedness, her lack of judgement, and about what happened to me.
However, Twilight's friends did not take this lightly when they learned about what happened from Rarity’s mouth and went around Ponyville, telling their acquaintances about what had happened between Golden and I - wanting to give them the information first, just so that if by some strange chance this went to the news - luckily it never did - they had the true story. Some didn't seem to care at all, while others? Well...they got back at Golden their own way.
Some refused services to her - like the local spa or other such places of entertainment - while others would barely if not speak to her at all, attempting to make her feel like she didn't belong in town.
This situation didn't affect her from what I know - it seemed she already had her father helping her move out of Ponyville to go to Canterlot.
Well, she did catch the eye of a few nobles up there with her designs, and would be leaving to be closer to where the money flowed easily.
With her gone out of the still growing town, I thought that would change my outlook - that If I didn't have to see her it would make it easier.
It didn't.
The Nightmares came back with renewed force the night I returned to my lodgings at Twilight’s.
This time, the Nightmare Celestia taunted me along with her new sidekick - a mare that looked suspiciously similar to Golden.
From taunting me for my shortcomings, laughing at me, and beating me down over and over with names and other such things of a verbal nature.
Of course Luna came - but this time I refused to talk to her, claiming that this was something I was going to deal with on my own, like all the other times beforehand.
"You don’t have to do this alone, to be on your own." Luna attempted to comfort me.
I answered in turn, “Please leave. This is something I’ll deal with without help.”
This saddened her, as she replied to me before leaving me to my personal hell, "You have friends now here, Brandon. Ponies, and a dragon who care for you very much...let them in, let them help you heal."
I didn't answer her, but she promised that as she left that my dreams would be pleasant ones until I discovered the root from which my nightmares sprung forth.
Everything turned into something more calming, and I managed to stop thinking...
________________________________________
Twilight's guards were now coming in to live within the Castle, and this group was vastly different then what I thought it would be comprised of - judging by how ‘equine’ was the Guard back at Canterlot.
And yeah, I happened to be on my own - trudging along with my schedule of sleep, eat, work at Bon-Bon’s, stare at a wall or ceiling. Rinse and repeat.
But I’m getting distracted.
Twilight opened a school a while back about ‘teaching friendship’ with her friends helping as occasional teachers whenever they could spare the time. This ended up with Twilight hiring fully-fledged teachers after a few awkward experiences - as it would be for the best to have those who were trained to teach about the subject matter… all handpicked by the Princess of Friendship herself, the guards that were coming had ponies among their numbers, yes…
But, there were other species in their group. Gryphons, hippogriff who were also sea ponies - don't know how that worked, but I wasn't going to question it - and small-sized dragons being part of this motley crew.
They’d be mixed up for the day and night shifts, as Twilight wanted to show that the kingdoms were united in friendship and understanding, with all guards who came here willingly as volunteers.
As for Shadow… she was offered the job to be the Twilight Captain - dubbed for the time being the Harmony Guard - however, before she would fully take on the role, she would be occupied with picking out a replacement for her post as the Night Guard Captain.
When I asked her - in my rare moments of leaving my room after my shift at work - as to why she took on Twilight’s offer for the job, that I thought she wanted to go back to Canterlot once she had made certain that I wouldn’t gobble up a pony or crap like that…
Shadow gave me only a mysterious smile and answered me, "I'm starting to like it here in Ponyville,” She shrugged, wings fluttering somewhat. “Canterlot was getting way too busy for my taste - besides, there aren’t many stock-up nobles here demanding to do what they want from Princess Twilight.” She smirked at this point, “If I could deal with the worst that Canterlot could muster, all while being Captain of the Lunar Guard… things here should be a piece of cake!”
It was funny...how well our relationship had grown from us wanting to rip each other throats, to the point that now I could call her my friend.
________________________________________
It was a few days after we found out about Golden, and I left out of my room for a few moments at a time - only for work, upon which I returned at once without talking to anyone.
That being said, I stayed in the room in order to be alone with myself.
I hate to say it, but the Hard Cider that I was gifted before saw some consumption as I started drinking it right out of the bottle. The first day I learned that this stuff was strong, not enough to get me drunk off my ass - but enough that after a few glasses, I was buzzed and not so much in contact with my emotions.
One afternoon, with about half the bottle gone, I was about to take another swig, when a knock came to the door.
“Eh,” I muttered groggily. “Who is it?”
“Me,” Shadow’s voice came from the other end of the door.
I frowned at that, even at this point that she told me about her past, really I didn’t want to deal with anyone right now.
There was more knocking on the door that pulled me from my wool-gathering. “We need to talk.”
“No,” I rebutted. “You need to let me be! I’ll get over this somehow!”
“Drinking yourself to evade reality won’t change anything that happened to you so far, you know?” She questioned me, with me frowning at her words.
Well, here I was, sitting on my chair looking at the orange like drink before me. Or was it an amber-coloured drink? Meh. Didn’t matter at this point.
I was going to take another gulp before her following request stopped me from doing so. “So, let me in and let us talk before you end up so drunk, you won’t even know who’s in front of you!”
I didn’t answer her at that moment, and I really didn’t want to. All I wanted was to just stay in my room and drink the rest of my bottle in peace, then think about finding some more.
But one thing I learned from Shadow...she doesn’t give up at all when something’s up her head and she wishes to say it.
Sighing, I just placed the bottle on the table and went to answer the door - well, less answering and more unlocking it - only to return without a word back to my chair where I plopped and took the bottle again.
As I stared at the bottle, I was barely distracted by the sound of the door opening and closing before I focused my sight onto the wall before me.
“Applejack’s Apple Cider?” she asked me, only for me to raise the bottle up, giving it a swirl before taking a swig from it, gulping my mouthful before swallowing it.
“Want some?” I grumbled lightly as I waved the bottle in her direction.
“On duty,” she shrugged, to which I shrugged in kind. “So, did you do this a lot back in your home world?” I simply looked at her with half closed eyes, until she muttered softly at me. “Drink yourself until you pass out?”
“No,” I muttered back at her, while looking at the wall with glazed eyes. “Just that this one hit harder than I thought it would.”
“How so?” she raised an eyebrow while waving her hand for me to continue.
I muttered to her as I briefly looked at her dead in the eyes. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me,” she frowned at me as I looked back - eyes still half closed - before lowering my eyes as I couldn’t stand her glare.
So I told her about my bad experiences in dating from my past, while she kept her attention while sitting across me - eyes never leaving my own as I started to vent my rage.
Near the end of it, I almost screamed at the end from my frustration: "I couldn't deal with that crap anymore, and I couldn’t believe in the ‘one day you’ll find the one’ bullshit either… so, I stopped dating.”
Rage and frustration now down to only embers, I whispered while my eyes were on the ground, one hand grabbing the other and trying to grip it with the bottle still in hand. “To be honest... dating back home was too much trouble, when compared to being single in every regard.”
She just gazed at me as she listened to me rank and vent before I turned my head to the side. “I… I guess just felt that this time would be different, ya know?” I sighed as I slipped in my chair further, down into a slouch. “I thought to myself: welp, I was screwed back then and was screwed by her, so what now? We’ll see, and now I do - even now, what with this being a new world, new rules, new everything... there was the usual crap from back home.”
I rubbed my eyes with the back of my free hand as I felt my throat constrict a little, but I continued my tirade.
“I just thought that - once the rage over what happened boiled down into cold, hard reality - that maybe I could have a better chance here if I played my cards right. And yet… and yet again… I was a tool for someone else. Used by someone to move forward to whatever they wanted at my expense, and all I was back then and here…”
I all but screamed in rage at this point, “I was nothing but a bloody pawn to them!” I turned to glare at her, who remained immobile as I continued, “My luck with women must be worse than shit, if all those I end up with are like this: either crazy lunatics, manipulative and self-serving bitches, or both!”
My voice lowered into a mewl, to my everlasting shame - but I’ll blame the alcohol for it if it ever comes back to bite me in the arse. “Isn’t there a way to at least see it coming beforehand?” I turned my now all-dead stare at Shadow. “... Before they toy with me again, just for their amusement?”
Shadow was silent for what felt like hours, just as I took a sip of the bottle - looking at the wall behind her.
When the moment started to feel awkward, Shadow chose that moment to break the uncomfortable silence.
“Look, you had it rough when it comes to dating.”
She gazed at me, and those words actually drew my stare back to her face.
“Everyone who tries usually have some bumps down the road… it just seems that your bumps were unfortunately more like huge walls than just bumps. Listen to me: I’m sorry this happened to you so often as for you to actually feel like this.”
I didn't answer, turning my sight back at the wall behind her, tilting the bottle somewhat - though not feeling the need to either sip nor put it down as Shadow continued.
“However...you can’t just hide yourself in your room for days on end, drinking your issues away. Drowning yourself to the bottle won’t change anything - as hard as it sounds, you have to just move on from it - forgive in the spirit of Kindness, then move on and heal.”
Before I could snap back at her about how doing that would be easy pickings, she stopped me with what followed next.
“It’s not gonna be easy,” Shadow stated with an inscrutable look on her face. “But know this: you have friends here, friends who are willing to help you out with this if you just let them rather than cut them off out of your life.” She looked pointedly at me with a fanged, mirthless grin on her muzzle. “Maybe I should request Princess Twilight to give you a refresher course on what the Elements of Harmony consist of, just so you know how to move on from this mess.”
I just stared at her, as if wondering if the alcohol was making me delusional, but that hope was crushed when she shrugged and calmly stated: “No doubt you heard this saying back where you live, but here is the gryphon version of it: ‘There are plenty of fish in the sea.’ ”
Her look softened as I just paid attention to her. “Look, it may seem rather annoying… but it’s true. Don’t let one series of bitches ruin your chance for a possible happy future with someone who truly cares about you.”
She then crossed her arms as she looked at the wall behind me. “Seriously, though… if we never had the talk we had the other day, it is very likely that I would have enjoyed seeing you like this out of pettiness due to my own loyalties… maybe. I’m not exactly a saintly pony either.”
Shadow puffed some air from her nostrils as she looked at me with an unreadable look on her face. “Just... look, don’t let it get to you. One day she will get hers if she keeps doing this kind of thing to others. She’ll eventually run into somepony or someone who won’t take things lightly.”
With that said, she rose from her seat. “As much as I would like to remain here and smell the reek of cider in this room… I must attend to other matters.” Her eyes softened as I just looked at her.
“I’ll try to make time just so we can at least chat a bit every now and then.”
At first I didn’t take her seriously… until she proved me wrong.
To this day, it amazed me that she would actually put in the effort to come in to try and cheer me up in her own way whenever her schedule allowed it…
Maybe that - in a way - was one of the many reasons that I came out of my room when I did.
________________________________________
With the new Guard now in place, there were not only stations within and out of the castle's walls, but inside the town as well. What used to be a place that never had their own personal guards, now getting used to the idea that now they were growing in importance to the point of warranting such a development.
Of course, Spike was initially worried that he would have to cook for them all by himself - only for me to remind him that they have their own mess hall in one of the many rooms in the castle.
I swear it still amazes me how the place was so large inside compared to outside!
Still, even after all this time gone by, with Golden gone now... I still felt empty. Despite my ‘heart-to-heart’ conversation I had with Shadow, my mind still returned to that sore point in my being as the days passed by.
I don't know why as of yet. I mean, this wasn't even close to when the bitch accused me of rape and I got off. This situation was nowhere near close to that. I was used to being used and finding out about it afterwards, but this one… this time it hit me hard, and I just don't understand why.
Why did this time hurt? Normally, after a few weeks I would be up and not caring about what happened, but this time… this time it stuck.
Was it because I truly did like Golden more than I let on?
Did I truly have feelings for her than I normally gave my ex's in the past, and that's why it hurt so much more?
The betrayal that she was only using me, as well as Rarity to get what she wanted? Yes, it hurt more deeply than I ever expected it to hurt. Maybe it was the fact that her own father was in on it, and in all likelihood her sisters were on it too.
To know that the recording was done not even a day after we made love only made things worse for me.
Answers that I didn't have, and possible I never would get them answered, leaving me with nothing but questions eating at me.
Could I have noticed earlier? Could I have been on my guard? Should I have been suspicious about Rarity’s matchmaking efforts? Should I have suspected that something was afoot with the way Golden Facade showed interest in me?
Things seemed to change for some reason, as at the start of a new day - my day off work - was greeted by the sound of thudding on my door.
Groaning, I woke up seeing on my phone that it was close to ten in the morning. As I currently had no one on my ‘social activity’ list, I wondered who it might be. The knocking happened again, for which I quickly got dressed and went to answer the door.
To my surprise, I found Spike standing outside - two cups in his claws with what smelled to be coffee, on his arms were plates of food - two plates of eggs and bacon, and other such things.
"Mind if I eat with you in here so we can talk?" Spike asked me as he kept balance of the plates to my surprise. As I was still groggy, I blinked at him for a bit but I nodded and let him in.
Once inside, we sat on the floor like when we played games together - with Spike placing the plates and the coffee cups on the floor as we looked at one another with uncertainty.
I took a sip of the coffee, then of the meal… and pointed out to him, "Tastes like the castle cook made this."
Spike blinked before digging in into his food. "How can you tell?" he asked, before slipping a strip of bacon in his mouth.
This one was true bacon, seeing how the cook was a gryphon who was an omnivore like myself - and was good at making food for both meat eaters and plant eaters. I must admit, the real stuff had more...well more to it. It's hard to explain, but I do know that the fake meat type bacon just felt like it was missing something whenever I had it.
"When you cook, you use your dragon fire to heat up food," I pointed out as he only nodded his head slightly as he took another bite of his eggs with the bread.
It was cool watching him cook, the stove kept his fire going until he needed to take it off. And when he cooked using his green flame, the food just seemed to have more flare to it.
My guess is, it is like when you cook with charcoal or propane, you can easily taste the different the two have to offer.
"Must be great, not having to cook for people anymore with the gryphon cook taking over?" I asked as he shrugged his shoulder and took a drink from his cup of coffee.
"I rather enjoy cooking! Twilight still asks me to cook for her, as well as Starlight and Shadow since they like my cooking better. But I don't wish for that cooks’ job. I still don't know how many guards we have here right now, and we are supposed to be getting more soon!" Spike explained in between bites while waving his fork at me.
"Well," I pointed out as I finished my drink and worked on my eggs. "What's a castle without guards?"
"A silent home?" he asked as I chuckled, pointing my fork to him.
"So true," I agreed before taking another bite.
In fact, it had gotten quite more noisy since the new additions to the castle had been done.
Many guards still lived in Canterlot - so, a plan was made that many rooms in the wing given to them that held the mess hall, and other rooms for training or on breaks.
Many rooms that had beds were left for those who lived farther than Canterlot - either by choice or until they moved to Ponyville - so they would be able to spend about three days as live-in guards, and then have a two day break... or something like that - I never really paid any attention to it.
"But I have a feeling," I went on as Spike looked up to me. "That you are here more than just to make small talk. What is it?"
"I'm worried about you," he said, after that seemed like a long pause as he held his claws together, his gaze toward me showed concerned and worried eyes.
"Since what happened to Golden, you have barely left your room for anything other than going to work, eating or going to the bathroom, and what's worst," he went on as I slightly looked over at him. "Is that you seem to just have...given up. You just let her do all of this and are not doing anything about it!"
I gulped the last of my drink as I placed the cup down, standing up and making my way over toward the window. I pressed my forearm against the glass as I gazed outside, watching as everyone went about this day.
"It's just… scary, in a way." Spike finished with a soft tone.
"How so?" I questioned, my back still to him as I heard him move to stand up.
"Well, Rarity is beating herself over this... thinking that it's her fault that you are like this, that Golden did this to you."
"It isn't, she should know that." I turned to face him, looking straight back at him.
Spike only rolled his eyes before shrugging.
"This is Rarity we are talking about, man," Spike stated matter-of-factly.
I tilted my head once I thought through about it, and nodded in acquiescence while looking away from him.
Spike did have a point - Rarity had the tendency to overreact over even the smallest things in her daily life.
"She feels that because she was the one that set everything up, that when she came out and did… well, that; she felt like it was all her fault, that you would hate her for a long time because of it.” Spike’s face fell down. “I mean… you seem to just have… let Golden get her last laugh."
"It's not about whether she won or not," I answered to him, shaking my head at his questioning. Without a word, I rose from the floor and went over to my desk - where I pulled out my phone. "Like I said before: something like this always happened to me back at home."
I flipped through my phone and went to the audio app and stated grimly. "So… I learned from my mistakes and got what I may need, in case she wanted to try something stupid in the future."
"Huh?" he asked looking confused as I smiled, and pressed play.
"Personally? I would've waited at least a year or two before breaking up with you. ‘In all likelihood I’d have gone with a sob story, about how I can’t handle the fact that so many ponies are talking about me dating a monkey!’ "
Spike blinked in confusion as the clip went on and on, hearing the whole thing that went down between Rarity, Golden, and I.
It was all there, in a crystal-clear recording because of how close we were to the phone, one that unknowingly to Golden was set on record from the moment before coming in to confront her.
I could see Spike's eyes light up, I already knew what he was going to say, and before he could even ask I answered him as firmly as I could. "No, I'm not showing this to everyone. And you're not to tell anyone of this. You hear?"
This demand sent Spike reeling back, clear shock written all over his face as he gawked at me in his confusion.
Finally getting his mouth back in control, he snapped it close and open a few times before making a demanding question out of his confusion, "But why?!" He walked forward towards me - only for me to lock the phone back and put into its place back at the desk. "Why not, I mean, right there could..."
"Ruin her?" I finished as he blinked again and nodded. "That's the point: it could... and that's why I'm not doing it."
"Why not, Brandon?" he asked still looking utterly confused about what I was saying. "I mean… she did a really mean thing, leading you on and deceiving Rarity as if it were nothing but a joke!"
"Would I be any better than her if I went out of my way to make her life just a little bit unpleasant by showing this around?" I asked him as he looked to want to say something, but then only looked down and stopped trying. "As sad as this may sound Spike… I'm used to it by now, I'm used to being used and thrown away by others I dated back home… the thing is: this time, I didn't see it coming at all. I thought she was different… and it even hurt that I… well… I loved her."
This caused me to look away from him, placing my arm along the wall as I gazed back out the window.
"Love for me, Spike… is hard to find. Yes, I love people like my family and my friends. But I’ve always been searching for that other one, the one with someone who’ll be better than a friend. I thought I found that when with Golden… I thought I had it.”
I clenched my eyes. “When Twilight asked me if I loved her - before I was shown that clip - I didn't know. But, I can admit it now that yes, I did… I did love her, and that's why it hurt so much for me to not leave my room for the longest time. I felt ashamed of myself, Spike."
I went on as he was no doubt listening. "Ashamed and just beaten down once more, feeling like utter shit afterwards. I guess when this happened, it just reminded me that really… every world has it fair share of assholes, manipulative jerks and such… and I figure that there was a part of me - a small part - that wished it wasn't true in this world."
"I think," I wondered thoughtfully as my eyes got lost into the wall. "I think that's why I agreed to go on that first date with her, you know?"
Making a pause, I turned to look back at him. "My mother always said to me: 'it's not about the cards you're dealt with, but how you play them.' I never really knew what that meant back then... but well, I guess I understand it now.”
“I'm here, I'm stuck here and I need to just live with it, though I'm not ready to forgive Celestia for what she's done… I just have to live with that. With time I know I'll grow up to the point I can forgive Celestia, just like someday I can possibly forgive Golden for what she did to me. But, I refuse to try and make her life a living hell just for a few moments of glee - as I know I’d be screwed over by anyone with an axe to grind against me, or by another one of her puppets."
I looked back at Spike and then said with a firmness to my voice. "So don't tell anyone of the voice clip… ‘kay?"
He agreed, though with a few more words on my count that he would keep what I told him between us.
I mean, the fact that my friends went around to warn their neighbors about what was going on was enough already. They didn't have to do that, but still - it was enough for me at least. The fact also was that both Shadow and Twilight knew how to use the phone now. Well, I mean, so did Spike. But I had the strange feeling that if Twilight didn't take it to show around, Shadow sure as hell would.
It was still strange, that I could consider Shadow a friend now. I know for certain that before she would’ve undoubtedly loved to make me eat my teeth, and possible would've laughed at me after this fiasco if we didn't have this talk… . Nah, I don't think she would've laughed, but still... it was good to have her on better terms with me at least.
Still, after Spike gave me his word about not divulging my ‘backup’, I got dressed. Taking the unspoken cue, Spike nodded and left my room.
So, after I got out of my pajamas and down into semi-formal wear I made my way out of the castle - a few guards nodding at me as I passed them by wordlessly.
I was nearly close to leaving - only to be stopped by Twilight herself. "Brandon! Hey, Brandon! Wait up!"
Stopping on my tracks, I turned back to see the Alicorn make her way over to me. Judging by her smile, she seemed happy to see me out of my room today, as she greeted me. "It's good to see you out of your room!" she exclaimed at me as she came closer. Her ears twitched as she inquired, "You’re dressed? So, where are you going today?"
"Rarity's," I told her as she only nodded at this, her smile lowering at that. "I haven't seen her since… that day, and I wanna make sure she's fine with my own eyes and such."
"Understandable… I was about to head there myself, to make sure she is fine as well." She admitted to me as I nodded. "So! We might as well go together."
I only could nod at her choice, since Rarity was her friend as well - even an older friend than I - but I was going there to make sure Rarity knew from me that it wasn't her fault everything with Golden hit the fan.
An otherwise sedated walk was done with some tension and in silence, as we barely spoke to each other.
At most, the classic 'how are you doing' went between the two of us but.. There wasn’t much being said between us.
Twilight didn't press me for information, and I was happy about that to say the least.
When we got to Rarity's home/shop, Twilight knocked on the door, even with the sign on said door that said that the place was closed. We still heard the unicorn’s voice inside. "I'm quite sorry," her voice didn't have the chipper inflection that it normally had. "But we are closed for the day."
"Rarity," Twilight called out softly at her friend. "It is us. Come on, let us in." she requested softly. "It's been a few days since we last saw you outside of your home."
"I'm sorry Twilight," Rarity went on as I heard Twilight sigh at that reply. Well, the windows were shut and the blinds closed so she couldn't see outside… and nobody could see inside. "But... I'm fine! Really! M-maybe we can-"
"Rarity," I said as if you paid any attention you could see the outline of her body behind the curtain - silhouette that jerked up a bit at hearing me. "It's only me and Twilight… let us in please, we should talk."
There was a pause, as Twilight and I just gazed at one another, when we thought Rarity wouldn't...there was a click as the door slowly opened...like a old style horror movie or something.
"Come...in..." she almost whispered as I just blinked. How bad could it be?
When we got inside, we could see that while her house wasn't a mess… the same couldn’t be said about Rarity.
Her usually pristine mane was unkempt; she wasn’t wearing any makeup - though to me, she looked good without the makeup or with it - and her eyes had bags under them.
Her coat didn't seem all that clean and tidy - what with there being fur sticking up in places, and all I could wonder was: Was her fur on her body that long… or it was just from the stress out of self-recrimination that she was giving herself?
Topping this show of uncharacteristic behavior of hers, what she was wearing didn’t even match - her pajama bottom had a pink background with purple diamonds patterned on it, while her top was blue with green stars.
Even now, as we sat together in her living room, she returned to eating a tub of ice cream after preparing tea for the three of us.
In short: she looked wrecked, maybe even worse than me.
But the fact that she acting like this just because she felt it was her fault?
Damn, would I hate to see her on full meltdown mode!
Though what kinda made it cute was the fact she kept making 'omnomnom' noises as she attacked her ice cream tub with decision!
"So… you okay Rarity?" I asked after a long while of awkward silence. This question seemed to bring her out of her own world well enough that it made her stop focusing on eating, with her turning her eyes towards me with confusion all over her face.
"You're… asking me if I'm alright?" she asked slowly, making sure that what she heard was right.
"Yeah...?" I trailed the word off as she then went straight down into the beginnings of a ‘meltdown-mode’.
"I should be asking if YOU are alright!" Rarity nearly screamed to me, making me lean back at her volume. "What that… that… horrid mare did to you was… it was..."
"Something I'm-"
"Don't!" she stopped me pointing her finger at me, making me go cross eyed as I stared for a second at her finger. "I know the girls said that. That you keep saying you were used to it back home, but this is Equestria! Something like this shouldn't happen to anypony nor anyone, and I shouldn't have been the one to set it up...!” She started sniffling as tears began to come out of her eyes, voice all but cracking near the end, “and now... you're mad at me and… and..."
I sighed at the pathetic scene, and with steel in my spine - and more than one prayer at whoever was willing to listen that I didn’t get mauled by an angsty unicorn with a sewing machine for what I was going to do - I rose up from my place, approached the babbling mare, and before she could even cringe at my movement…
I held her muzzle with my hand, not using force but the closest I could do with one hand placed over another person’s mouth to silence her. Confused, Rarity gazed at me already on the verge of tears, before closing her eyes shut.
Again...if she is like this when she thinks she did something wrong… damn, I’d hate to be there to see how she crumbles when she did do something wrong.
As softly as I could, without giving up my stern tone, I stated, "I shall remove my hand." Rarity opened her eyes in shock, then blinked and sniffled softly, leaving my palm covered in… pony snot. Yay. "When I do, you’re gonna sit there like a good little marshmallow pony, and not say a word… I have something I wanna say, and I want you to sit down and listen to it until I'm done… 'kay?" I asked her calmly.
Progress was made, as Rarity frowned at my nickname, and I could see it in her eyes that I would pay somehow for that. However, despite me getting my gut ready for the incoming punch for my audacity, Rarity nodded.
The moment I pulled my hand back she returned to her tub, 'nomming' another spoon of ice-cream while giving me the stink-eye.
"Thank you," I said as I sighed and leaned back into my seat, unconsciously wiping my hand with the lining.
As for Twilight, she gave me a look that I answered with one of my own. After holding the stare for a few seconds, Twilight shook her head and waited for me to say whatever needed to be said with a raised eyebrow.
"Rarity," I started off as the unicorn looked to me and slowly kept eating. "As much as I know you blame yourself for what happened, it isn't your fault. Seriously, I really want you to stop beating yourself up over it!”
I saw her mouth open as if ready to interject. "I know you feel like it is your fault because you setup the date with her, but it isn't. Golden made her choice to trick not only me, but you as well. She made that choice, not you."
I looked off at the wall behind her and stated grimly, "As sad as it is, this happened a lot back home. I found out I was used as a rebound guy, for her to get the one they wanted back into their arms; dares, bet lost or whatever. Stuff like this sort of happened to me, and happened to a lot of people besides me. I don't blame myself, or others who set us up... I blame the person who did the tricking; just like how I am not going to blame you."
I smiled at her as I moved my hand and softly held her own, she looked down at our joined hands as she sniffled a bit as I smiled again. "You're a amazing friend Rarity, and as weird as this may sound...you...to me you feel like a older sister I never had." This got her to widen her eyes a bit as she sniffled once as I went on.
"You tried to help me out, and as bad as it was it blew up in both of our faces. For that I thank you… not for the blowing up part, the… oh god! You know what I mean!" This failure of mine to finish this statement made the two mares with me to giggle at my shame, as I rubbed my hand over my face. "Just don't worry about it anymore, alright?"
Once more Rarity took her sweet time to respond, seemly thinking hard and deep on the issues. Really I hope she wasn't going to be a pain about it, and just let it go. It wasn't her fault, but if I couldn't convince her here and now.
"Very well," she said cutting me from my train of thought. "You are right, and I'm sorry." Wow. I didn't think that would work. "However!" I inwardly rolled my eyes at what I knew was coming. Here we go… "Can I...at least make you some clothes to make it up to you?"
"You already make me free clothes." I pointed out as I looked at her.
Rarity just blinked at me, then frowned in thought before a smile returned to her face.
"Oh! Why don't I treat you to a date with..." She saw both of our bemused stares at her outburst, and she giggled sheepishly. "It is quite soon for another date, right..."
Her idea for a date… it got me thinking for a change, and the results got me to smile… a big smile.
"Uh oh..." Twilight said with worry lacing her voice as she looked at me as if I were going to do something crazy. "He's smiling...when he smiles like that...he normally would boop Shadow's nose."
"Why is that bad?" Rarity asked.
"Because he is planning something! You have your Match-making voice… Brandon has his Planning smile."
"I would like to think of it as a Thinking Grin," I reiterated as I gave Rarity a predatory look. "But yes. Rarity… I do have… something in mind you could do for me."
________________________________________
It was a little bit after leaving Rarity's home/place of work. I had asked Rarity if I could tell her what I had in mind between the two of us, I didn't want Twilight to know. Sure, Twilight wasn't happy about it, but I had my reasons.
"So," Twilight started saying as we were making our way down the street. "Why wasn't I included in this little… favor plan thing?"
I only looked over at her and smiled. "You can't keep a secret."
"Yes I can!" she exclaimed loudly as I raised my eyebrow. "Okay, sometimes..." again I raised it a bit higher. "Alright! If I get stressed enough, I blurt out things I know!"
"And that's why, your highness," I playfully teased as I petted her head softly. She only frowned at me and then started to swat at my hand with her own as I chuckled. "Don't worry about it though," I stated as I looked off, we still walking side by side. "It's nothing embarrassing or dangerous. It was just something I noticed I wanna see if I can nudge softly, you know?"
Twilight gave me a clearly confused look at my ‘mysterious vibe’, but sighed and just nodded, before shaking her head at the injustice of this decision.
As we took the scenic route back to Twilight’s, I noticed at a distance that Pinkie Pie was making her way toward us.
When she got slightly closer, instead of being greeted by a peppy mare on a sugar rush we were met instead with a slightly less vibrant-coloured mare.
From how she was hanging her head downwards, to her deflated mane, and the tear-filled eyes... even I could tell that she was on the verge of tears, or was really upset about something that didn’t go her way.
Holding with her arms she had what looked to be books - well, not really books but notes - of some sorts.
When she looked up she flinched slightly at seeing us, but greeted us with a weak smile. "Hi, Twilight. Hi Brandon…” Twilight and I looked to one another briefly, concern in Twilight’s face at Pinkie’s sight. We greeted her back, to which she sheepishly replied. "I was on my way to Twilight's when Spike answered and said you were out… guess it's good I caught you here, Brandon."
"Eh?" I asked, looking slightly confused as she sighed despondently.
"Well..."she started, her hoof tracing in the dirt a bit, her eyes still traced down along the ground. "I was going to come there to tell you… we don't have to do your party, seeing how you only agreed to it because of Golden."
I guess that was true… as I did agree to it because of her, along with the fact that Pinkie Pie would be the one who throwing it. And from what I heard from others who had gone to her parties… she sort of goes over the top.
I mean, I believed her when she would keep it small. And to be fair… I was kinda looking forward to it.
Seeing her like this though - looking upset, not for the fact she couldn't do the party… but because she felt like I wouldn't want it now because my now ex-marefriend screwed me over for a lark and I was still reeling over that.
I waited for Twilight to step in like she liked to do - with her usual 'Oh Brandon! Let her throw you the party! Friendship, blah, blah, blah magic, blah, blah, blah books!
...okay maybe not the books bit. But my point still stands!
What surprised me was that there was silence instead of the usual. I turned to look at Twilight - whom also was looking at to me with an inscrutable expression.
"So," Pinkie muttered, causing me to look at her. "I'll… you know, let you go and..."
"Was it going to be small?" I stopped her from saying anymore with my question, only for her to look at me with clear confusion on her face.
"What...?" she asked slowly as I asked her once more.
"Is it going to be a small party, like I asked?"
"Oh… of course! Yeah!" Her mane started to grow once more, only for me to sigh at what I was going to do, and crossed my arms as I looked at her.
"Well… I guess seeing how this is my first birthday in Equestria." I started slowly, looking off, and then smirking as I turned my gaze at her. "I… well, I guess we should do it to, you know… test the waters fo-... URK!" I felt Pinkie’s arms around me in a blink, hugging me tightly and even lifting me into the air like a ragdoll, all while she spun around giggling like a mad mare!
As I gasped for air, all I crossed my mind was: I knew I was going to regret this!
Unknowing of my derailed train of thoughts, Pinkie cheered at me while hopping up and down, "Oh thank you Brandon!" She put me down as I gasped for air, only for her to get uncomfortably close to my face. "Oh! I only have a few days left to plan it then! I have to make many small things… well small ideas like cake, cupcakes, drinks, pie… can you have pies at parties? Of course you can Party Pie!" she screamed in her usual joy before running off… or more like bouncing off.
That pony was bloody crazy...
"That was… rather nice of you." Twilight said as she gazed at me as we kept on walking once I recovered from the bear-hug.
I just looked at her and chuckled. "What… think I'm not able to be nice?"
"It's not that." She crossed her arms as we walked. "It just… you showed a great distaste for parties."
"I did the same for dating but I still gave that a try didn't I?" I asked her as she frowned slightly but nodded. "This is like I said… testing the waters for Pinkie Pie throwing me a party. If I like it, I'll see about letting her throw more for me for the future… or even going to other parties. Like you girl's birthdays and such… save for AJ."
"What's wrong with Applejack," she turned to face me, hands on her hips as she leaned towards me, stopping on her tracks.
"I think she doesn't like me all that much even to this day, as she still keeps giving me a glare whenever I see her at the market. Besides, I think she disapproves of me and my way of doing things. Probably thinks I’m a hoodlum or something like ‘I’m going to be a bad influence for her lil’ sister or whatever.”
This idea wasn’t unfounded, since I was in good terms with Rarity, I’ve also met her little sister Sweetie Belle and her friends, who came over at times while I was there with her.
It was really enlightening, my chats with the fillies.
Apple Bloom accidentally blurted out snippets of wisdom from her older sister - like how Applejack believed that she should keep her distance from me in case I gave her ideas on how to act since I did assault a Royal.
Yeah… no offense to Applejack and her great sisterly skills… but with the stories I heard from Rarity and Apple Bloom about how hard-headed she was, and with her demonstration of dubious common sense - by allowing the fillies to do some pretty crazy things in their quest to find their Cutie Marks… I believe that whatever I could suggest or do pales in comparison with the shit she’s being involved with to date!
Unknowing of this, Twilight just hummed in thought. "Well you haven't really given her a chance to getting to know you better. Besides, she feels bad for what happened to you too. … Maybe you should hang out with her someday, just so the two of you get to know each other better!"
I looked at Twilight with a serious face. "No offense, Twilight… but I really don't have to be friends with all your friends, as I don’t have much in common with about half of them.”
“Alright. Go on. I want to hear what you have to say.” Twilight waved her hand towards me as we stood in the middle of the path.
“Well, for one, I get along well with Spike because we click - he's like a bro to me, and we have many things in common - from video-games to comics, even the things we look for in a lady friend.” I started my explanation while raising one finger.
I raised another finger. “I get along with Rarity, as she's like an older sister to me, and I find her humour and personality engaging by themselves. Though her dramatic tendencies do rub me off, they aren’t that off-putting for what she has in the positive: an optimistic, well-meaning, generous lady that knows what she wants from life.”
Twilight smiled at that, before her ears twitched as she heard me say her name along with another raised finger.
“I get along with you, Twilight - albeit with hiccups - because despite our differences in seeing stuff... you're a well-meaning person and have the right word, the right action for the right moment and you're quite a good source of advice; whereas I do tend to rush off and am quite hard-headed in comparison.”
“Well,” she said as she gazed over at me when I said this as she smiled. “That’s what makes you you, I suppose.”
I only gave her a small smile at his as I nodded my head to this. Moving on, I raised another finger.
“Rainbow Dash? Well, she's like a drinking buddy to me - and we even spar every now and then at the gym when she's not napping over a cloud after work. Out of that we don’t have much in common”
I kept on thinking about it all the more and then said.
“As for Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Starlight?” I went on as I thought more of the other ponies in my life. “Well, I don't think we have anything in common to keep the interest on either side to develop a friendship bond.” I shrugged at the end as I waited for her to reply.
"Hmmm." Twilight furrowed her eyebrows in thought after hearing this… only to point out to me, "Perhaps your birthday party will be a good way to get to know them in a relaxed setting! Besides! We still have a few days to prepare the presents for your party! In fact,” Twilight gave me a knowing look as she smirked in victory, “I already have a good present for you!"
"It's a book isn't it?" I deadpanned at her with half-lidded eyes while trying my best to not grin at her look of shock on her face.
She opened her mouth like a fish at first, only to finally get out, "How did you know?" she demanded as she huffed, hands on her hips as I just gave her a deadpan look.
She watched me before pouting and letting go of her hips, muttering, "Shut up..."
We walked off for a bit before I laughed at her pouting, playfully shoving her to a side as she shoved me back with a smile, giggling too at the exchange.
“You jerk.” Twilight grinned back at me, which was answered with a grin of my own.
Well, all I knew for certain after this time in seclusion was one thing: in the coming days, well...
My first Equestrian-style Birthday Party was going to be interesting, to say the least.