//------------------------------// // Chapter Fourteen, Oh Goddess Why: Good times. // Story: Airship Mauled // by Darkonshadows //------------------------------// -Fizzle- We were on our way back to The Witch’s Fare after I had managed to catch up to a running Jade. “Three quick questions Fizzle. One how did you know which direction I ran in? Two how did you catch up to me?” Those were questions I could easily answer Jade and if you thought about it, then you would already know the answer to them too. “And three… where did you even get the magical alchemy proof rope from?” I paused and looked at Jade, she was currently laid across my back and tied up with rope. I… honestly didn’t know where the rope came from, I just had it on me when I finally caught up to her. That was a really good question, where did I get the rope that’s impervious to casting destruction from? I shook my head and continued onwards towards The Witch’s Fare. “In answer to your first question. This is my thought process… ‘gee’ I’m such a smart cat, what’s the direction that Fizzle would never think I’d run in, especially the most dangerous place I could be physically running towards!” It wasn’t hard for me to guess she was running towards Barely Bearable Woods, which seemed like something she’d do to try and outsmart me. After the wake up I got, I was too angry to not be snuggling my fluffy cat to notice anything else aside from the fact that the door to The Witch’s Fare was wide open. “It didn’t take me two seconds to figure that out Jade, as for how I caught up. I believe in the power of anger, also not waking up to nuzzle you might have had something to do with that. You should already know that ponies can run fast when scared and even faster than that when angry!” “Yes, I understand that. Apparently you don’t appreciate Maries’ gift of that body pillow.” Her words made me pause and consider the thing I woke up cuddling. “That’s not very nice, I thought you liked Mara, Maria and Marie.” “I do and it was a thoughtful thing for them to get me that doesn’t require or force you to be in my bed.” I sent her a look. “That said, when I wake up and know you were in my bed the night prior, I at least expect you to still be there. You know I have abandonment issues Jade, it’s why I couldn’t abandon you when you upset me by forcing me to beat the tar out of you. I felt like I was in the wrong in that situation despite you setting it up!” Things hadn’t turned out so badly and I’m more included in the community, people actually come to me for things and not just you or Jacky who are specialized in doing things. In particular Jade was specialized in fish scaling and menial chores that Fresh Start could be doing. Jacky was a savant and connoisseur of ships, she knew how to maintain many things. What did I have in comparison aside from a gimmick, raw uncontrolled magic and dreams of making something of myself? I would say a family that cares about me, but I’m talking things I can do to be helpful daily. “In this situation I am definitely in the wrong for setting up something else that you may or may not have missed on the way out the door. Still, you haven’t explained the rope yet.” She wiggled violently on my back and sighed loudly, she was having problems getting at her knife to slice away the ropes and I wasn’t about to let her go free. Not if she’s dead set on running into drop bear territory, she is quite serious sometimes about getting me worried about her. “I can’t partial cast it away like I do with most things.” “I haven’t the foggiest where I got the rope from, but I think it might belong to Arizona.” That would only make some sense to me, it made about as much sense as the cows and their cow bells do. I started past Jade’s never dying fire to open the door to The Witch’s Fare. “Fizzle there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you…” Stopping to hear what Jade would say, I quirked my head to her. She smiled at me. “I can wait to tell you inside.” “Why can’t you do it out here?” Shaking my head at my friend and special some cat being weird, I opened the door and walked it. “Surprise, happy birthday Fizzlepop!” Admittedly being hit by several voices at once made my horn flare, but after a moment I managed to get the magic under control and pulled it back within myself. It was a birthday party… for me? I… wow… how did I not notice that stuff leaving the building? Wait, one of those voices had been Jade’s. “See mom, I told you I could give you enough time to finish setting everything up and that she wouldn’t notice on the way out the door!” Darn it Jade, would you stop doing distracting things and planning around people including me! Oh sure, it was cute the first few times you crazy rogue, but getting away with a large gold heist with only barely a slap on the wrist was just plain ridiculous to the point it was blatantly absurd. Now you do it to me to give me a birthday party? Actually that was kind of touching and sweet of you. I can’t remember the last time I’ve had a birthday party, didn’t have one last year at any rate. “Come on birthday pony. What’s on the agenda, it’s your day today!” Pinkie threw a hoof around my withers and gave me a tight squeeze, she really needed to learn that boundaries existed for a reason. “Do we start with cake, presents or lunch?” “Was Celestia invited to this party?” I dryly asked. “Nope, we figured there wouldn’t be any cake left for you if she came to the party at all, at least Sekhet is willing to share!” Pinkie turned to the goddess with a smile and Sekhet just rolled her eyes in a droll manner. Sekhet, you are my role model and I would not let anyone tell me anything different. “Isn’t that right Sekky?” “Yes wall breaker, I know not to steal the cake before the one it was meant for gets the very first slice.” At least you had that going for you Sekhet, Celestia has no excuse for when she shows up out of the blue to steal our pies, cakes and pastries before we can even get to taste them. I think that’s why Celestia is letting us keep the gold we stole, she’s practically bribing us to not say anything about her uncontrolled snacking habits. “Why that’s just bad manners for a goddess to exhibit and I would not want to be like Celestia, incapable of controlling my deepest and darkest of urges for the cream cheese cake made for the likes of gods.” My ears perked up, did she just say cream cheese cake? -An hour later- Delicious sweet tasty cake, started with a slice and ended with a slice. Now I guess it was time for me to open my presents. I’m quite curious as to what Jade could have gotten me, I was enjoying everything so far. All my friends from Pinkie’s sisters, to Fluttershy came here just for me. I guess Rainbow Dash didn’t get an invite. I could kind of guess why that is, especially if Jade and mom were in control of the guest list. “So… presents?” I asked amiably, I had no idea what any of them could have gotten me. I didn’t want for much more than acknowledgement. I seriously doubt the silent assassin got me anything, she was still tied to the chair after all. Right now she was wearing a festive party hat and had a party blower in her mouth with a bit of frosting lining her lips. Even she got a taste of that cake as our favorite resident captured assassin that we weren’t about to let go any time soon. I wonder how long it would take before Kurilian got to her or even Airship Mauled itself caused her to lose her taste for wanting to kill Jade. Stranger things have happened. “Say a name and we’ll get it from the pile for you Fizzy… also could someone untie me?” Oh right, we did kind of forget to untie Jade once I brought her back. “Eating with my face might have been funny to start with, but these ropes really chafe a lot and everyone here is being rather cruel and unusual to me!” “Yeah, because you would have eaten more than half the cake if we let you go.” After saying that Arizona got to work on freeing Jade. “Mom… I mean Kuril…. damn it now you’ve got me calling her mom! Anyway, Kuril only made enough for everyone to have two slices and we took care of the only greedy problem left.” Jade didn’t defend herself. “Would anyone here hate me if I suddenly decided to change my name to Mom?” Kuril, you were without a doubt impossible to hate and were a very good mother, Jade notwithstanding in those thoughts. “Yes.” That’s not the general consensus Jade. “You’re no fun my kitten.” Mom crossed her arms with a huff and looked away smiling. “Continue untying Jade, so I can get her present.” My statement was made with a calm and clear mind, Arizona nodded and continued to work at the knots keeping Jade trapped. “But things are staying so quiet with Captain being incapable of doing anything!” Yes, Jacky, we all know that freeing Jade from those ropes would lead to more shenanigans, but we couldn’t keep her tied up forever. It would get boring after a few days without her being able to do something odd. “Do we really have to free her?” “You’re a mutinous swine Jacky.” The green haired cat received a smiling beak filled with cheek. “No, I’m a mutinous parrot you fat gluttonous cow.” To everyone’s mild surprise, Jacky’s words didn’t cause either Grace or Arizona to react negatively. “Don’t worry, I’ll side with you again at a later date Captain, I am as loyal as they come… except on Fizzle’s special day.” “Yeah, listen to the motor beak, she can power an entire airship by just talking it into the air.” Ah Limestone Pie was joining in on the ribbing with a sarcastic look upon her grey face that usually only had two looks, angry and angrier. She had a rough exterior with a golden inner core just like me, at least I thought she had a golden inner core… Still, Limestone’s a pretty cool friend along with her sister and Marble Cheesecake Pie who is almost exactly like Fluttershy except she hardly ever talks and just likes to hum in a friendly manner when addressed. Said ribbing had better end soon or else I would get upset. As soon as Jade was free, she worked out the stiffness in her arms and legs and went off to go grab my present. “It is so nice to hear that everyone is getting along so well, I can feel all the happy energy in the room.” Clapping her hooves together and talking like an angel was the ever friendly Grace. There were reasons we thought she lived in a different time zone from us, this was one of them. “You too, I thought it was just me!” Scratch that, Pinkie was worse than Grace and always in another universe altogether. “I’m not always in another universe though!” For some reason Pinkie was receiving a very odd stare from Sekhet for that comment. Wait a minute… did she just read my… “Nope, I certainly did not read your mind, that sort of thing belongs to a different Pinkie Pie entirely. I’m definitely the Airship Mauled nearly base level Pinkie Pie. Twilight’s Mane Passion Pinkie was too busy today to do the joke and who really knows what dimension Underworld Frisk Pinkie Pie is in today since I couldn’t get in contact with her.” “It is best to not question her about what she means Lady Berrytwist.” Seriously Sekhet, I wasn’t going to anyway as Pinkie always said some really odd things that are better left alone and are not to be pursued. All conversations stopped when Jade came back and kneeled before me before presenting a small gift wrapped box. I tenderly took it in hoof from the two hands that held it up to me reverently with a bowed head, I rolled my eyes at the dramatic tension Jade was trying to build. “Can we tie her back up?” Tempting Arizona, very tempting. “She’s being stupidly dramatic.” “Highly tempting, but no.” I started to open the packaging. Yellow ribbon, green wrapping paper, Jade’s usual colors that fit her theme of lemon and lime. “Though we might have to if she actually does something stupid.” “My princess wounds me, and so cruelly at that!” She smiled at my indifference, I could feel a tug at my lips. Darn it Jade, stop being so annoying and cute! “Why I would never think of doing more than five virtuous things to upset her at a later date.” “Do you want to be tied up again?” Not receiving an answer, I opened my present and looked at what was inside. I blinked in wide eyed awe, I reached into the packaged and opened the object. It was a silvery white golden heart shaped locket, inside was a picture of Maries, Jade, Jacky and Mom on one side and on the other was me alone. Above my face was the word ‘you’ and below it was ‘close’. Their picture had the words ‘family’ above and ‘together’ below. I close the locket and I’d be together with my family figuratively… and when it was open I can see myself and my family waiting for me to get ‘close together’. A few tears came to my eyes and I wiped them away “Upsetting thing number one, letting her know she can’t be replaced in our hearts!” Okay Jade, your current chivalrous accent was highly annoying, so you are kind of asking for it. “Sentimentality is always a good way to upset someone with happiness!” “Tie her up.” My words were flat, but my eyes were moist and glued to the object and the string. “No, wait… I’ll be good… I swear!” Really, you weren’t going to dig yourself further into the ground today Jade? That doesn’t sound like you. “At least as soon as I can figure out whether or not dropping a thoroughly provoked Taweret on Sekhet would be a bad idea or a funny one while making a joke about denial.” “It’d be both Jade.” Never mind, I’m quite sure that definitely sounded like you. “Wait… who’s Taweret?” “Somebody I’d rather not see ever again, she’s even worse than my sister.” Hugging herself, Sekhet shivered quite violently. “Do not use her on me Priest Jade, because my retaliation will be quite judicious.” “Okay, what you have right there FIzzle is an electrum locket, which is practically indestructible after I sustained it.” Jade likely knew what that did, but she wasn’t going to tell me. I’d check the magical alchemy list later. For the rest of the day, good times were had.