"I've got all day, you know."
As do I.
This was by far the worst predicament you've (unwillingly) placed yourself in. The other times you had to speak were nothing compared to now. The cyan pegasus, the bane of your existence, was interrogating you: questioning your origins and motives. None of which you were ready to tell anypony, especially not the cyan pegasus. She'd be the most likely to not understand, you figured. She had her eyes locked onto yours, not daring to break her focus. Her stare was starting to put you on your edge. You slowly lifted your jaw once more to speak.
"Just... Just leave me alone." you spat out.
"Not until I get some answers!" she retorted.
I'll give you your answers right after I tear off your damn wings.
She wasn't going to leave you alone, and you knew this. You couldn't give up so easily on your alias. You had to make her believe that your name is Dostoyevsky. You couldn't risk her finding out.
"My name is... Dostoyevsky." you reassured.
Strange. It wasn't as difficult to speak this time.
"Oh, come on! What kind of pegasus has THAT for a name? Even if that IS your name, then what are you doing here in Ponyville, huh?"
Your tolerance for the pegasus was growing shorter with every passing second. You and her both were becoming very impatient with each other. Both you and ‘Dashie’ could sense the tension building between you. She seemed to have grown tired of flapping, as she let herself gently float towards the ground, retracting her wings, yet still having her eyes concentrated on you.
"You know, at first I was going to tell Pinkie Pie not to throw that party for you. Especially after you were a jerk to me and Fluttershy," she began in a different tone than you've previously heard before.
Pinkie Pie? Most likely the pink pony's name. Good to know, in case I need to avoid her again in the future.
"But then when AJ told me how you weren't a jerk to her, I thought that maybe you were just having a bad day or something."
Something like that.
"And... I guess it was... Sorta my fault that I crashed into you a few days ago, so I'm sorry for blaming you. I was just practicing a new trick and I had almost had it, so that's why I was mad."
She's apologizing. Good. She should have done that a few days ago.
"But, you can't just leave Pinkie's party like that. Especially after all the work she put into it! She spent all day setting everything up, getting everypony to go and hide, even getting Vinyl Scratch to come and play music for the party! I don't care what you do after this, but you need to go back and apologize to everypony for leaving!"
If only she knew.
You couldn't go back to the party that "Pinkie" had thrown for you. The cyan pegasus had been interrogating you for the past few minutes, now she was demanding for you to return to your nightmare? At this rate, you'd rather stay here and keep being questioned by her.
"I never asked for any party, so why should I go back?" you inquired.
There it is again. I spoke with such ease. I didn't have to think about my next words. Is my ability to speak becoming more advanced?
"Didn't you just hear me? No one EVER leaves one of Pinkie's parties like that. If you don't go back, you're going to be one of the most hated ponies of all of Ponyville! You’re almost as bad as Trixie!" she explained.
I've no idea who this ‘Trixie’ was, but whatever her reason for being hated was most likely justifiable considering the nature of these ponies.
Again, something had taken over you, as you were about to speak again.
"I suggest that you leave me be. Before you do something you will regret." you threatened.
"I'm about to do something I'll regret? You're the pegasus that's about to do something he'll regret!" she retorted.
You had grown tired of this game. Your tolerance for the cyan pegasus had worn out.
"Move." you coldly stated.
"Yeah? And who's gonna make me?"
Your brow began to furrow, and the cyan pegasus followed in unison as she clenched her teeth.
She's not going to take her eyes off me. I need to distract her, somehow.
Still staring at each other with clearly violent intentions, you slowly let your eyes focus into the distance, mentally praying to Celestia that she would follow.
Please.
Through your peripheral vision, you could see the eyes of the cyan pegasus. She hesitated for a second, barely moving them. Then, she gave in, turning her head in the opposite direction trying to identify whatever it was you were staring at. Without hesitation, you slammed into her with your shoulder, causing her to stumble and collapse onto the ground. You weren't about to let her catch you again, so you did not fly. Thinking quickly, you decided that your best choice was to head into the forest. But as you turned towards the forest, the cyan pegasus had already tackled you, causing the both of you to spiral for a few moments through the air. Using your wings, you tried to control the direction of the spiral so that you would land on top of her, but it was too much. Your back and the ground connected, and the mare had landed on top of you, her waist connecting with yours. You could feel the heat from her body radiating on towards yours once again.
Not now, damn it!
Your wings extended again, (this time to their full length, as you weren't completely pinned down) and you could feel your face begin to warm.
"What is your problem?!" she yelled, not noticing the near euphoric state you’d entered. You couldn’t believe yourself: were you actually enjoying this, at least in a physical form of manner?
Of all ponies I could have intimate feelings for, it's towards the cyan pegasus!?
You threw your forelegs up in an effort to push her off, but she caught your hooves, trying to wrestle them onto the ground. When she applied pressure to your injured hoof, the pain caused you to flinch. Letting your forelegs fall to the side, the cyan pegasus lost her grip on your hooves, collapsing: inadvertently letting her whole body contact yours, only increasing the warmth being created between the two of you. You let out a short gasp of pleasure, and promptly threw your hooves up once more; this time, successfully throwing her off. The warmth quickly dissipated, only to be replaced by the cold. As if it were déjà vu, you picked yourself up, anticipating that the cyan pegasus would charge at you once more.
Once you gathered yourself and were standing on all four hooves, you quickly dashed to the left. And from the right side of your view, you could see a rainbow-streaked blur pass right by you. She was traveling at too fast of a rate to quickly turn back towards you, which gave you ample time to try to retreat into the forest. However, as you turned you could feel your saddlebag become undone, spilling the contents on the ground. Everything from the apples to your case file was exposed. You could almost feel your blood-pressure drop.
Damn! It must have come undone when she tackled me! I can't risk her finding out! Even if that means having to deal with her presence for a while longer!
You quickly unhooked your saddlebag, knowing that it would be easier to place your items inside it. However, relinquishing the saddlebag exposed the one method in which anypony could easily identify you by; your cutie mark. Something you've despised for your entire life. You were lucky that your saddlebag had hid it in such an inconspicuous manner, but now it was exposed. Worst of all, it had been exposed to the cyan pegasus.
You quickly started to pack everything back in. You had an organized system before, but you weren't going to bother with that now. You threw the apples in, and (fortunately for you) were not crushed this time around. You then tossed your anti-depressants back in, along with the small journal given to you by Sigmund all into one bag. Then, grabbing your case file, (which thankfully had not lost a single paper) you dumped it into the other bag, not caring if it had mixed up the papers within. Finally, you snapped the two bags shut. You felt relieved, but only for a second. You've no idea where the cyan pegasus had went, but you were still aware of her presence. You lowered your head to slip on the saddlebag, but you were thrown onto the ground again.
The cyan pegasus was, yet again, on top of you; once more trying to pin you down. But her touch didn't affect you this time, as your mind was more concerned with the fact that your identity was exposed. Again, the two of you wrestled, but you knew that you needed to stun her somehow, giving you long enough for you to escape. With great speed, you brought your head and collided it with the cyan pegasus’s. Your vision turned white for a second, but you couldn't feel the cyan pegasus anymore. When your vision returned, she was in front of you with a dazed look across her face. You took this short opportunity to dash over to your saddlebag, and you began to slip it on, hoping that the cyan pegasus was still stunned.
"Huh...? Wait, I've seen that Cutie Mark before..."
Your heart sank, and you felt an incredibly large lump grow in your throat.
That's it. I'm done for. My secret exposed...
You could feel the rage within you build up. Everything you've done to keep your past a secret, every precaution you've taken, just to preserve your identity, ruined. And by who else than the cyan pegasus?
The saddlebag had slipped on properly, but you couldn't move. Your muscles froze up, but you could hear her dashing towards you again, not at the same speed albeit. You quickly turned around to see her, and, without thinking, in a fit of rage, lifted your hind legs and bucked her; sending her flying. The second you back-hooves reached the ground, you took off through the air into the forest, flying as fast as you could.
"Hey! Wait!"
Entering the forest, you expertly dodged every obstacle that stood in your way. It was dark, but you were sure that the cyan pegasus would still follow you. You kept flying, not taking in mind your fatigue and pain.
Why!? This isn't fair! I never asked for any of this! Of anypony that could have seen my Cutie Mark, it's her. Her! If I could, I would have this damn thing removed by any means possible. And yet, am I so weak that I feel physically attracted to her?! No, damn it! I'm better than that. I can hardly hold any sort of positive feelings towards Sigmund, so why should she have the pleasure of being the one I'm affectionate towards? And she won't stop at anything to find me now. Where am I going to go? Back to Manehattan? Of course not; there are less places to hide there than here, not to mention as not as many resources. So where to? I know of no other place, and I must stay near to return to Sigmund at the allotted time. So am I to spend the remainder of the week that I have left within this forest? And what about the remainder of my life? No, focus on one issue at a time. This forest... It shall become my home. Well, at least until I can come to terms with my past... which might very well be never! Damn it! Damn that cyan pegasus! If I ever see her again, I'll make sure that she regrets everything she's put me through. Every blistering moment of pain and agony that I've suffered through my life, I will make sure for her to feel the same.
Your wings were about to give in, considering you've been flying through the forest at break-neck speeds for quite some time. You finally landed in the pitch-black darkness of the forest. Tired and exhausted, (both mentally and physically) you let your legs collapse, falling onto the ground. Shutting your eyes, you began to let your thoughts wander once more.
I... I just want to be left alone. Why can't anypony understand that? ….But do I really? These last few days... were enlightening to say the least, despite the pain I've experienced. I've advanced so much further than I ever did at the hospital. I was able to communicate without the amount of agony that is usually accompanied with it. And as much as I hate to admit it, even if I was lying, ...It felt comforting to communicate. It brings me a sense of acceptance. Something I never felt at the hospital... And when the cyan pegasus was holding me down... Her warmth... Her touch was...
"No, no, NO!" you shouted, trying to eradicate any thoughts of the cyan pegasus from your mind. Your left hoof was beginning to bother you, so you tore off the cloth that had been placed on by Fluttershy.
Fluttershy. She seems to be the only one who genuinely wanted to help me. And she may know my past. As much as I want to know about my past, is it worth it? Even if I want to ask her, I don’t have the slightest idea of her location. Not to mention that the cyan pegasus must have told everypony about me by now.
The depressing thoughts began to enter your thoughts; plaguing your mind with the memory of your parents.
I... I just want to forget... I want to forget about my past... My parents... All those years in the hospital.
Your eyes started to become misty. You tried to hold back the tears, but to no avail. Your cheeks became damp and your breath shortened.
Why can't I forget? Why can't I experience joy? Why? Even if I wanted to, they would be forgotten. I can't retain any joyous memories... Damn it, why me? WHY?!
You stopped trying to hold your tears back, letting them flow across your face.
Death. That is my only escape... But I'm too much of a coward to take my own life. Pathetic. The means to escape my nightmare have endless possibilities, yet I refuse to take the opportunity. Am I meant to suffer for the rest of my life?
You stayed in that state of mentality for what seemed to be hours, hoping that nopony would hear your sobs and find you in your current state of vulnerability. Once your tears had subsided, you remembered that it was around the time for you to take your anti-depressants.
Why do I bother? These things cannot suppress my nightmares, nor my memories. They're merely a false sign of hope.
Even though you had just refuted their promised help, you still went through the trouble of unhooking your saddlebag to remove the anti-depressants. Through the darkness, you managed to snap off the cap, and feel for two pills. Bitterly, you swallow the pills, place the cap back on, and return it to your saddlebag; all part of what had become your daily routine. Again, as your daily routine dictated, your constant stress and pain had brought on your drowsiness.
I can't sleep... My memories won't become clear... I'm just going to see them again... Covered in blood... The only ponies who loved me... Who accepted me... Gone...
Unable to resist any longer, you gave in, falling into your slumber.
"Racers, get ready!"
"Okay, come on! Open your wings!"
"Yeah, I got it!"
"In five, four, three, two, one... GO!"
"Let's go!"
"Aww yeah! We took the lead!"
"Let's keep it up!"
"All right, here comes the first part!"
"Just like we practiced, okay?"
"Got it! Let's do it on three!"
"One... Two... Three!"
"Perfect! Everything's going according to plan!"
"So far, so good. Stay focused; here comes the next part!"