//------------------------------//
// Chapter 7: Pinkie in the Sky With Diamonds 
// Story: Pinkie Anonymous 
// by Daemon McRae 
//------------------------------//

Chapter 7: Pinkie in the Sky With Diamonds

Twilight blinked once. Then twice. In fact, she blinked multiple times, because she was convinced she was hallucinating, and the only logical response she could come up with was to try and refresh the image in front of her by closing her eyes over and over until it changed.

It didn’t.

The room was filled with exactly forty-seven Pinkie Pies. Forty-seven. Which were, in fact, distinguishable from the others in a variety of ways, which somehow only made things worse. Twilight herself was seated in a row of fold-out chairs on a stage off to the left of a podium in what appeared to be a makeshift auditorium. Deciding that staring too long into the pink void was grounds for ‘Not Guilty by Reason of Mental Defect’, she decided to investigate the rest of the room.

It was big. Very big, actually, which made her wonder what this room was used for before it got turned into a giant meeting room for adorable nightmares. Metal fixtures on the walls that reached from floor to ceiling indicated that there used to be some kind of dividing walls installed, all of which had been taken down. Maybe this place had once been a room full of cubicles and smaller offices? With some proper organization she could-

“Princess?” Pie Regard asked curtly, cutting off Twilight’s train of thought.

“Huh? Oh, yes. I’m sorry,” Twilight said sheepishly, blushing as she snapped out of her reverie. She stepped down from her seat and approached the podium, much to the baited breath of everyone in the room.

“Ahem,” Twilight said, tapping the microphone lightly. “As all of you seem to be aware, my name is Princess Twilight Sparkle. I’m here because… well, to be honest, I’m still working on that. So let’s just say that after a series of very confusing events and long-winded conversations, I’ve been asked to speak to all of you in pony this evening. I understand that there are still a few of you not in attendance, but I’ll have to make do.

“Tuesday afternoon...” Twilight paused, as the events were still fresh in her mind and still parsing, not to mention the long winded series of debates that took place over the last few days. She tried starting again. “Yesterday afternoon, I was made aware of the existence of several dozen clones who had not been… dispelled after the Mirror Pool Incident. My first reaction, of course, was to put together a plan to gather you all and do exactly that.” When the crowd gasped at large and started in outrage, she raised a hoof and a wing and spoke over them. “That idea has since been discarded, for a multitude of reasons. I want you all to be aware, and very thankful, for the existence and testimony of your ‘Contacts’. I spent many, many, MANY HOURS listening to some very concerned citizens over the last few days about the progress you have made, the lives you’ve all built, and the individuals you have become.

“Thus, I have come to the conclusion that dispelling even one of you would be tantamount to murder. So I’m not going to do that,” she emphasized, much to the relief of pretty much the entire room. “However, there are some issues that must be addressed, both immediately and going forward. Fortunately, it is well within my purview to lay down a few Royal Decrees.” There was some unease throughout the crowd at this, as ‘Royal Decree’ could mean anything from ‘Into the dungeons with all of you’ *gasp* to ‘No chocolate on Tuesday’. “The first is that Pinkie Anonymous will now be seen as a government entity. No, this does not mean I will be bringing in a bunch of Royal Guards or officials to oversee what you have. No, the staff you have on hoof seems to be doing just fine, barring current circumstances. This organization will respond directly to me going forward. And before you ask, no, I can’t put Pinkie Pie or any of you at the top of this ladder, as the original Pinkie has been barred from government office. For a variety of reasons. Not the least of which is shenanigans like this,” she almost growled. Taking a breath to compose herself, she pressed on. “Now, this does mean that those of you working here will actually have government jobs, salaries, and benefits, for doing basically whatever it is you do right now.

“In addition, I think it’s in everypony’s best interest if Manehatten wasn’t the only place you all hunkered down. With so many of you here, this city is reaching a saturation point. After all, my friends and I did find you after being here only a day or so. Thus, I am creating multiple P.A. offices in major cities across Equestria. It should go without saying, but the existence of these offices will be known only to a select few people. The ponies in this room aside, the only others who will know are your contacts, any and all future Pinkies you find or who find you, and the Princesses. Who, by the way, seem to be significantly more blasé about this situation than I’m comfortable with, which makes me think there’s some kind of precedent. They said they couldn’t tell me over dragon post, so I’m going to have a very very interesting lunch with them tomorrow,” she concluded.

Pie Regard stepped forward to take over, and Twilight retreated to her seat. “Alright, ladies, here’s how this is gonna work. Any new Pinkie Pies that come to this office are to be put into a newly-established ‘Relocation Program’ effective the start of next month. There will also be relocation packages for anypinkie present, and the few who had to miss this meeting, with the desire to move out of the city. Some of you have already been offered these services. You are not required to accept them, but please, please consider doing so. I understand that uprooting your whole life to move somewhere new for the sake of secrecy is jarring to say the least, but we’re running out of room here.

“Also, new offices will be created in the company, available only to Pinkies. The list of available positions is in the pamphlet you found on your chairs when you sat down-” she paused as a few of the more… oblivious Pinkies reached under their butts and found a small booklet. “So please see Pie Chart sometime next week during office hours if you are interested in applying. Again, these are government jobs with benefits, pay and pensions, not volunteer work. There is more information available than what’s in your booklets, again see Pie Chart in the next week if you have any questions. Now, I feel it’s important to iterate than nopony here is being forced to move, give up their lives, or spill the beans about any of this. We’re merely providing the option. And lastly, could somepony please untie Mina from the light fixture before she chews her way through the chandelier chain.”

The room at large looked up at one particularly grumpy-looking Pinkie clone as she gnawed on the brass chain holding up a rather expensive-looking light fixture, to which she was fastly secured, which just so happened to be dangling precariously above the heads of a few other Pies.

Pinkie P.I. sighed. “I got it,” she grumbled, and pulled out a few suction-cup hoof attachments.

“Alright, dismissed!” Pie Regards concluded, as the sounds of plungers walking up a wall was drowned out by the mass exodus of a bunch of Pinkie clones.

Rainbow Dash turned to the original Pinkie. “I will never, ever, ever get used to having more than one of you.”

Pinkie scooped up Rainbow Dash in one arm and hugged her close, waving a hoof in front of them. “Don’t you know, Dashie? Pi goes on forreeeeeeeeevvveeeeerrrrrr!”