//------------------------------// // Magic Woes // Story: Age of Equestria // by EdofJville //------------------------------// Twilight Sparkle led Ethereal Divide into her library room. Despite having only worked one night on organizing and setting up the shelves, the space was already filled to the brim with books and accentuated with warm, cozy chairs, carpets, and upholstery. Ethereal was amazed at how quickly she and Spike had managed to get this room ready for today's plans. As he gazed around the rather large library, Twilight stopped at a particular bookcase and began scanning the shelves for a certain book or books. As she didn't immediately find what she was looking for, she outstretched her wings and slowly flew up to the next row of shelves, continuing to scan books with a thorough focus. Ethereal eventually broke the silence with a question. "So, how did you and Spike finish stocking these shelves and also completely furnish this library in just one night?" Twilight didn't turn her head to face him but answered nonetheless, still fixating her gaze on a row of books. "Its simple really. Spike and I stayed up through most of the night to get everything done. I needed the books to be all properly set and organized before we could begin today's activity. As for the furnishings, since I lost everything I had prior when Tirek destroyed my old home, Rarity was kind enough to donate some of her extra materials and help cut and design the carpets. I bought the chairs from the Quills & Sofas shop in town. Thankfully, they were on sale." "I see." Ethereal watched as Twilight continued to scour the shelves intensely. "What book are you looking for?" "I'm actually searching for several books that pertain to the art and science of magic and spells in general" she replied. "I'll be using them as reference material for our experiment here. Think of this as a case study. You're here with me now because we're trying to solve the mystery as to why you can't seem to utilize magic like most unicorns normally can." Ethereal felt a creeping sense of slight discomfort begin to seep into him. A case study? Me? That sounds a bit.... serious. He began to pace around quietly, stopping a few times to see if Twilight was any closer to concluding her search of those elusive books. "Wouldn't this be a little easier if Spike were here helping you search? Maybe I can help somehow?" Twilight flew over sideways to a neighboring shelf as she answered back. "Spike was pretty tuckered out by the time we finished working in here, so I let him go to bed and sleep past his usual wake-up time. He won't be up for a few more hours. And don't worry about it. I've already found one of the books we need." She turned around and held up a thick, blue hardcover book with an elaborate design and crest on it. He couldn't read the title from that distance. It didn't matter though as she quickly scooped it up in her hooves and flew down to a table, where she laid it down flat on its surface. She then flew back up to another shelf and began searching for another book. Ethereal wandered over to the table by two chairs and a fireplace, curiously eyeing the ornate and rather big book. Magic: A Guide To The Mystic Arts by Starswirl the Bearded. He was impressed. She had books from someone as legendary and revered as Starswirl!? But the more he thought about it, the more he figured he shouldn't have been surprised. Twilight was no ordinary mare. She was passionate about magic and quite smart. She also happened to be a princess and a heroine in modern times. It made sense that she studied the writings of such an extraordinary pony. He was reminded of his father's tales of Starswirl's exploits in ancient times. Those were some entertaining bedtime stories that helped foster his love for good stories and adventuring as a colt. At this point, Twilight was starting to grow a little impatient and levitated a section of books from several shelves, pulling one to her at a time, peering over their contents. Gradually, she sped this process up little by little until her eyes widened and she let out a loud "YES!" She levitated the desired book onto the same table as before and resumed peering over the rest of them that were suspended in midair. Once again, Ethereal trotted over to the table and glanced at the cover. A History Of Unicorns by Clover the Clever. This name also jogged his memory. His father had once told him he was a descendant of Clover the Clever, albeit of course several generations removed. While he had no reason to doubt the veracity of his father's claim, he always struggled to truly accept it as fact because he could never cast spells of his own or use magic period. How could it be fact if he was never able to use magic when all other unicorns can to varying degrees. It made no sense. This cycle seemed to continue on for hours as Ethereal paced around the library, occasionally stopping to peruse a few books here and there. There were books covering all sorts of scientific and historic topics, from Equestrian history to pony anatomy, sociology, philosophy, and much more. Eventually though, he grew tired of this and sat down in one of the leather chairs by the table and watched Twilight as she gradually found more and more books to add. The pile of books became a towering monolith that nearly reached the ceiling by the time Twilight was finally done gathering all of the necessary "reference materials" for whatever she had planned for him in this so-called case study. "Alright, we're ready to begin!" Twilight beamed gleefully. Ethereal struggled to maintain his focus and composure so as not to show how truly weary and bored he was by this point after waiting so long. He blinked a few times as he waited for whatever was next. Twilight remained standing in front of him at the other side of the table which was prominently featured in-between them. "I know this seems like a lot of books for just referencing, but a complex topic such as magic demands it. Now then, we'll start with the absolute basics. Please stand, Ethereal." He obliged and stood up, facing Twilight directly. "What now?" he anxiously inquired. She locked eyes with him. "Now, you'll try to harness magic from within yourself. Just relax and focus on your horn. Close your eyes if you need to, and think of simply turning on a light bulb. Try to flip a switch on. Don't force or overexert yourself. Relax and slowly expel outward." Though he was seriously doubting this would work, Ethereal did as Twilight told him and closed his eyes, attempting to focus his mind on his horn. He relaxed his body, keeping it from tensing up, and focused intensely on the mental imagery of turning on a light. Meanwhile, Twilight watched for a few minutes, then levitated a book in front of her eyes and opened it up to a specific chapter, reading to herself for guidance and supplementary knowledge. She glanced up from the book and looked at Ethereal, speaking up again in an effort to keep him in check. "That's it. Stay focused like that and breath deep. Do you feel anything? Any sensations of a force welling up inside you, trying to leave your body? It should seem like a soaring feeling beginning to emanate from your horn in an outward motion." For a moment, he didn't say a word. He kept focusing intently on producing something, anything that felt different that would indicate he managed to achieve a semblance of magical activity. But, there was nothing. Absolutely nothing. There wasn't even a twinge of substance. Emptiness. That was all he felt. His horn didn't feel different. "I'm trying, but I don't feel anything at all. It just seems empty." Twilight was perplexed, but pressed on confidently. "Keep trying. This won't happen immediately. You haven't tried to use magic in a long time after all. You have to teach your body how to produce and harness it. Think of it like learning how to crawl and then trot as a baby. In this case, its more of a mental exercise. The physical aspect of it is mainly involving your horn. Before we can move on to any kind of spells, you must first be able to actually perform the basic fundamentals." She studied him closely, analyzing his posture and body language, looking for any obvious physical abnormalities. There were none whatsoever. He should be able to do this, she thought. If only all of her scientific equipment from the Golden Oaks library hadn't been destroyed along with her former abode, she could have used some devices to better observe and detect any potential issues with Ethereal's body that would prevent him from using magic. But as things stood, she was in the dark as to why he was struggling so much with what should be a relatively simple act on a unicorn's part. Even young unicorns growing up manage to conduct magic easily enough to a simple extent, oftentimes by sheer accident or reflexes. Yet this stallion here can't seem to even produce a single spark of it. How bizarre. Ethereal pressed himself more. He maintained his composure, even as seeds of doubt, anxiety, and embarrassment welled up inside him. Steadying himself and fighting back those negative thoughts and feelings, he focused on expelling a force out of his horn. Where was that sensation he should feel? Where's that stream of energy? A welling up of magic force inside him? Why isn't this working? Who am I kidding? I knew it wouldn't work... Still, he held on, trying to push himself forward. He didn't want to disappoint Twilight. She genuinely wanted to help him and made great strides to help him figure out how and why he fails at this. There was a sense of commitment within him. A newfound desire to actually try as much as he can to achieve what he gave up on for years. There was no denying it though. There was still nothing. He couldn't muster anything. Magic refused to appear from within him. On top of that, the more he strained himself, the more he did begin to feel something. However, instead of a force bubbling up through him, he felt a very strange discomfort that was hard to describe. It felt unnatural and was definitely something he had never experienced before. A weird mix of what could be described as pain, nausea, and even a sort of physical disassociation and disconnect with his body and mind. As this combination of effects increased the more he kept trying, he grew fearful and broke his concentration, stopping altogether. "I'm sorry... Twilight... I can't. I need to sit down." He wearily reclined back onto the chair and frowned, staring at his hooves and the carpet. Twilight was concerned at this. She had seen a clear display of discomfort on him. "What's wrong? Are you in pain?" She took a seat in the other leather chair. "I felt weird. It wasn't pain but.... I had to stop. Something wasn't right. The more I tried to focus and do what you told me to do, the more nothing happened, at least, until a point where I started to feel.... I don't know.... sick? Its hard to describe, honestly." He sunk deeper into the chair, slumping back as his tail ruffled up and hung over the armrest. He felt ashamed of his failure. It only validated what he had already known about himself and served to kill what little glimmer of hope he may have recently started to develop. Twilight thought things over deeply and pondered over what to do next. She hadn't expected that Ethereal wouldn't even manage to succeed at the most rudimentary magic production despite his own personal claims of inability. This was even more serious and complicated than she had thought. "Let's try something else, Ethereal". She rose up from her chair onto her hooves and cantered over to Ethereal's side and smiled. "For this exercise attempt, you can stay seated. All I want you to do is focus on a specific object. This book right here." Her horn glowed that familiar magenta color as she pulled a book off the very top of the towering hardcover monolith that still stood atop the table. She gently placed it down on the table directly in front of Ethereal's line of sight. "I want you to try to levitate this book towards you. Try to place it in your lap. If you can't produce magic by concentrating and using visual imagery in your mind, then perhaps you'll have an easier time if you use this place-marker object method." He sighed. "I'll give it a shot. I can at least try." "That's the spirit!" exclaimed Twilight in a positive tone. This time, instead of closing his eyes and imagining a flow of energy within himself, Ethereal simply stared at the book in front of him on that table. Musings Of The Mind's Eye by Arcanus Sage. This was one author that he had never heard of before. Regardless, it was time to focus on the task at hoof. Locking eyes with this old and interesting book of what seemingly contained thousands of pages of text, he mentally attempted to will himself to somehow lift it externally without using his limbs. Minutes went by, but as before, nothing happened. He tried again and again with all his willpower and intent, but it was to no avail. His shame was converting to feelings of frustration and anger. This isn't an advanced concept. Why can't I do this? Come on, damn it! Work! Please work... "Keep it up Ethereal, you're doing great focusing on the book. Now just maintain that and hold on a bit" encouraged Twilight. She backed away from him a bit to give him more space. Once again, she watched with baited breath, checking for any anomalies visible to the naked eye. There was nothing out of the ordinary. More minutes went by, devoid of eventfulness. As this went on, the library door opened and Spike walked in, seeing things unfold. "Hey guys, how are things going?" "SHH! Not now, Spike. He needs complete quiet so he can concentrate" Twilight chided him. "Oh, sorry.." he apologized sheepishly. As the two of them gazed on at him, Ethereal was lost deep in the attempt to levitate the book. It was so close. Tantalizingly so. He was laser-focused on it. Magic still didn't form. No aura appearing around his horn. No movement of the book. It just stayed put exactly where Twilight had set it. This was ridiculous to him. It was maddening. It was no revelation to him that he couldn't do magic of any kind. Frankly, he hadn't cared for the longest time. He was insecure internally about it along with his lack of a cutie mark, but unless somepony brought up the subject or pointed it out, he never really worried much about it and tried to bury it in the back of his mind. Being forced to confront it now was tough. Twilight Sparkle meant well, but this was growing to be less of an interesting attempt at finally cracking this wall of inability and becoming more of an absurd joke. Then, he felt that sickening, strange feeling again. He became light-headed and his vision began to blur. He shook his head to try to drive it away, but it only served to trigger a sense of equilibrium loss. He slowly swayed from side to side, no longer able to sit still and focus on that damn book. Though disappointed immensely, he forced himself to stop the exercise. Twilight rushed to his side, having witnessed the return of his symptoms. Spike also ran over to see him. "Its okay. Relax. Settle down and breathe deeply. Don't get up Ethereal." She held a hoof over his forehead to check for signs of a fever. His temperature seemed normal, but he was sweating and looked strained. "What happened, Ethereal?" asked Spike. Ethereal spoke slowly, struggling in a state of dizziness. "I can't do it. I just can't.... I don't know why. It feels strange. I get sick for some... reason. Its stupid." "Its not stupid. You're clearly being strained for some reason. We'll just take a break and you can get something to eat to restore your strength. Spike can make you something, and in the meantime, I'll do some research and figure out another course of action. No worries, I've got this. We'll try another exer-" "NO!" shouted Ethereal. Twilight and Spike both winced. "No more exercises! I've had enough for one day." Ethereal glared angrily at Twilight, feeling his energy coming back now. Twilight looked hurt. "Look, I know its been tough, but we can't give up now and--" Ethereal interrupted her again. "Tough? Tough!? You think that's all it is!?" He stumbled up from his chair and stared her down with a mix of frustration, anger, and a twinge of despair and shame. "I stumble into this town and meet you and have a few chats with you and your friends, and just like that, you think you know me so well!? I'm not some damn experiment that you can run tests on for the sake of your curiosity! I wanted to believe that this flaw of mine could be solved and fixed, but clearly it can't! I told you all but you downplayed it!" Twilight searched for words but faltered, her voice trembling as she tried to form a response. "Ethereal, I just... I was only trying to help..." Spike interjected, feeling hurt by Ethereal's outburst but also a rising desire to stand up for Twilight. "She was only trying to help you, okay!? Because that's what she does! She cares and because she cares, she strives to get answers for those in need, like you! Its not her fault you can't do magic! Its no one's, not even your own! Venting is one thing but lashing out at Twilight isn't going to solve anything!" He bared his teeth and claws and glared back at Ethereal, staring him down. Not able to think of what to say next after that, Ethereal did the only thing he could think of and bolted away and out of the library. He couldn't think straight anymore. He was consumed with grief and blinding anger as he dashed down the spiral staircase to the first floor and main hall and barged out of the castle. The sun was setting down the horizon as he ran off through Ponyville and out to the edge of town, nearly crashing into a few ponies in the process. As he reached the outer limits of town by the Everfree Forest, he finally stopped and caught his breath, panting heavily. He tried to gather his thoughts as he recovered himself. What am I even doing anymore? What am I doing in this town? This was all a pointless mistake. I got careless and let myself be vulnerable to others. That was foolish. I can't do magic. That's not news. So why did I allow myself false hope that somehow she could change that? He turned and glanced back at Ponyville as night settled in and a full moon rose into prominence in the sky. Its time for me to leave here and resume my travels. I don't need magic to survive anyway. I've already proven that many times throughout my life. And my cutie mark might appear one day or it might never appear. It doesn't matter. Back to business as usual, Ethereal. He turned back toward the forest and with one big sigh, he headed into it, intent on finding another town somewhere else in Equestria and not going back to where he came from when he first traversed these dark, expansive woods. Some time later, he found himself at the base of a mountainside in an open, rocky clearing. It was a dead end. He turned around to head back into the forest that surrounded all three sides of the clearing. He paused however when he heard a loud snap that came from within the trees. This was followed by a very clear and close growling. Then, another snap and a sound of creaking wood emanated from a corner of the dark woods. His ears twitched and perked up as he scoured his surroundings carefully, preparing for a potential dangerous threat. He feared what it likely was, but hoped for the best. If its just one, he could surely handle it. If there were more though, like a pack, then.... Suddenly, bright yellow eyes appeared out of the darkness. Then, another pair of eyes glowing to his right. Then, one more pair in front of him. A few more popped out into view, followed by loud and consistent growling and snaps of twigs and creaking. Slowly, one, then several of them, moved into view, walking menacingly out of the forest. Luck didn't favor him tonight. A pack of timberwolves began to surround him on all sides of the rocky clearing, as he backed away instinctively into the mountainside. He was trapped in that spot. There was nowhere to run and there was no way he could manage to burst through and outrun this many timberwolves. They had him completely cut off from any escape route as they flanked him on all sides, with his rump firmly pressed against the wall of the mountain's base. Without magic, I can't do a damn thing to these bastards. What do I do here? What can I do? Mother and father didn't die for me so I could just die here like this, by a pack of animals no less. I survived on my own for all these years, damn it! I can't... just... not like this... And then, they attacked.