//------------------------------//
// Lesson Divide-By-Zero 
// Story: Maud and Chrysalis Do Stand-Up 
// by SoloBrony 
//------------------------------//

The curtain rose. Chrysalis was lying back on a chaise, staring at the ceiling, while Maud sat on an armchair nearby, quill and notepad at the ready. There was a shelf full of psychology textbooks behind them, and a large sign declared that 'the doctor is in'. Maud clicked a button on her wristwatch.

"Okay, Queen Chrysalis, we're ready to begin."

Chrysalis swallowed hard. "I'm not a queen any more. You shouldn't call me that."

"How do you figure that?"

Chrysalis covered her face with a hoof. "I lost my hive. I have no subjects, no one to reign over. Worse, I failed them."

Maud did her best to sound sympathetic, which mostly came out the same way her voice always did. "Chrysalis, you need to stop this negative self-talk. You've hit some bumps in the road, but that doesn't mean you need to think less of yourself."

Chrysalis lowered her hoof and nodded. "Yeah, I... I guess you're right. I need to be forward-thinking."

"Exactly. Think of it less as having lost your hive, and more as being between hives."

Chrysalis glanced at Maud with a puzzled expression. "But I don't have plans to get a new hive."

Maud jotted something down in her notepad. "Not planning for the future is a sign of depression. You need to believe in yourself more."

"What I mean is, my plans don't include getting a hive. Right now I'm focusing on my life, my friends, my marefriend, that sort of thing."

Maud jotted something else down. "That kind of low ambition isn't good for you."

A few snickers went up from the crowd. The same changeling from a previous night yelled 'We believe in you, Chrysalis!'

Chrysalis just shook her head. "It's not that I'm not ambitious! I just have... different ambitions now."

"What are those ambitions?"

"Well... I want to integrate better with the society I'm in, now. Maybe even try to mend the fence with Thorax. Put things in order."

Maud nodded passively. "Good. Earning their trust should make it much easier to overthrow them in the future."

Chrysalis looked shocked while more chuckles erupted from the audience. Discord's voice carried over them, saying 'It's true. It's sadly, sadly true.'

"But I don't want to overthrow anypony!"

"We really need to work past this defeatism of yours, Chrysalis. Just because you failed before doesn't mean you can't succeed now. Aim high. Believe in yourself."

"But I'd be betraying my friends!"

"Not if you convince them to help you."

"They would never!"

"There's that negativity again."

Chrysalis gaped. Laughter went around the room, and Starlight cupped her mouth and shouted, 'I'll have your back!', eliciting looks of shock and nervous chuckles from a few.

"You can't seriously be telling me you want me to take over Equestria."

Maud paused. "I am legally required to tell you that I do not endorse or encourage illegal behavior."

Chrysalis sighed, relaxing back into her chaise. "Oh. Well, good. I don't want to do things like that any more."

"I just want you to follow your heart, and live up to your potential."

Chrysalis eyed Maud suspiciously. "Right now, my heart is with my marefriend."

Maud nodded, as passive as ever. "And you want to give her the world, don't you?"

Chrysalis went through a few facial expressions before settling on shock. Another round of chuckles went up, and one princess who was otherwise busy cradling a baby yelled 'Oh, she's got you there! Love-checkmate!'

"I mean, yes, but not literally—"

"Why not? You can do it, Chrysalis. I believe in you."

Somepony yelled 'CHRYSALIS FOR PRINCESS!', causing Chrysalis to facehoof and laugh despite herself for a moment. She shook her head and looked at Maud.

"Your, uh, your vote of confidence is appreciated, but think of all of the ponies who would get hurt."

"Chrysalis, you are going through a tough time in your life. You've been hurt. You need to worry about yourself right now."

"But—!"

Maud held a hoof up, shaking her head. "Learning to take care of yourself first is one of the hardest things, but trust me, everypony who cares about you will be happier if they know you're doing it."

Another round of laughter went up, and one therapist pony was howling. 'It's true, that's exactly what they tell us to say!'

Chrysalis just shook her head, her face slack with disbelief. "So... in order to make my friends happy... I should enslave them?"

Maud cleared her throat slightly. "I cannot explicitly tell you to do something illegal. But I want you to do what you think is best for you. And—"

"No! I won't do it!"

Maud just nodded. "Okay. I am diagnosing you with Fluttershy Syndrome; excessive kindness at your own expense."

Chrysalis sat up and made a 'are you bucking serious' face while more laughs went up. A certain yellow pegasus buried her head in her hooves. 'I've gotten better about that...'

"That's a real disorder?"

"It is very common among ponies."

Chrysalis stared for a second. "Huh. I guess I should have figured."

There was an awkward silence as they stared at each other. Chrysalis scratched the back of her neck. "So, uhh... they make pills for that?"

"We make pills for everything."

The curtain fell to snickers. The therapist-pony was beating her head against the table laughing, and yelled, 'Why do ponies always ask for pills?!'

The curtain rose, and Chrysalis and Maud stood side by side, bowing. Meanwhile, a certain changeling in the back of the room was pondering how to sneak some of those pills into the hive's meals...