The curtain rose. Chrysalis was seated at a schooldesk, propping her bored-looking face up with a hoof, while Maud stood in front of a blackboard with 'The Elements of Harmony - Honesty, Loyalty, Kindness, Generosity, Laughter, Magic' written on it. Maud scooped a ruler off of a desk nearby and gestured at 'Honesty', beginning to speak in an even more bored-sounding voice than usual.
"Honesty is the foundation of all friendships. It—"
Chrysalis shot a hoof up, and Maud gestured to her with the ruler. "Yes?"
"So you mean not lying, right? But it's not lying if I'm in disguise before I even meet them, right?"
Snickers went up from the audience. 'Changelings, am I right?' was heard from somewhere in the back.
Maud stared at Chrysalis for a few moments before responding. "Honesty is about being fair and truthful with somepony. Meeting them under false pretenses isn't honest."
"But it's not not honest, either, so it's okay."
"No, it's dishonest."
"What if I tell them I'm in disguise?"
Maud paused at that. "That... should be okay."
Chrysalis nodded excitedly, perking up from her desk. "Okay, so what I should do is buy one of those pairs of glasses with the nose on it, then wear that over my disguise—"
"No."
Chrysalis pouted. "But you said that was okay!"
"... Explain why you would want to do that."
"Because they'll assume the 'disguise' I am referring to is the, y'know, obvious, fake one. That way I can tell them I'm in disguise and they won't guess what I really am."
Maud stared at Chrysalis for a moment. "That thing you are doing. Stop."
"What thing?"
"Manipulation."
"I don't follow."
Another round of snickers came from the audience while Maud just shook her head.
"If you intentionally make them misunderstand you, it's not honest."
Chrysalis rolled her eyes and sighed haughtily. "First you say I can't omit the truth. Now you're saying I can't tell the truth in a convenient way. You're just going to keep raising the bar until there's no way they won't see through me."
"That would be the idea."
Chrysalis threw her hooves up in frustration. "It's like you want them to know what I really am!"
"I do."
"That's crazy-talk. This element is stupid."
More snickers from the crowd as Maud just shook her head. "Chrysalis, weren't you honest with your changelings?"
Chrysalis shrugged. "I mean, yes, but that was because I was their queen and they were my drones. Honesty was part of the job."
Maud nodded slowly. "Honesty is part of the 'job' for friends, too."
Chrysalis grunted. "Okay, fine. What about the other elements?"
Maud pointed to the next element on the list, 'Loyalty'. "Well, the next is loyalty—"
At that, Chrysalis threw her hoof up again. Maud stared at her for several pensive seconds before pointing at her with the ruler, and Chrysalis immediately chirped up. "Oh, I know this one! Super important in the hive." She shot a pointed look at the changelings in the audience. "Not that everyone remembered that, apparently."
There was a ripple of uncomfortable snickering and shuffling, but Maud didn't even miss a beat. "That just goes to show the importance of loyalty. You know what it's like to lose it."
"So, okay, but how do you figure out who the master is between two ponies? I mean, obviously they'd swear to me, being a queen, but—"
Maud shook her head, rolling her eyes ever so slightly. "Friendship is a balanced relationship."
"Huh?"
Chrysalis looked like Maud had grown a second head, eliciting another few chuckles from the ponies.
"Nopony is the master in a friendship."
"But then who gives the orders?"
"Nopony. Or both. Friends make requests of each other sometimes."
Chrysalis was quiet for a time, stroking her chin with a hoof, and slowly a malevolent smile formed. "So if I have a lot of friends – one might even say an army of friends – I could ask them to do something for me?"
Maud paused, glancing to the audience and back. "You... could, but that's not the point—"
Chrysalis couldn't hear Maud over her maniacal cackling. Maud just waited until she calmed down, and then shook her head.
"I think you've missed the point, Chrysalis. Friends aren't weapons."
Chrysalis rolled her eyes and pointed at Twilight Sparkle in the front row. "Tell that to Miss 'Rainbow Cannon of Doom' over there."
Laughter rippled through the crowd, including Twilight, who yelled 'It's true!'. A cyan pegasus near the edge of the crowd yelled 'This friend is a weapon!'
Maud paused for a few seconds, glanced at the blackboard, and then back to Chrysalis. "... Good point. But the idea is that friendship is about love—"
Chrysalis' eyes lit up. "They're a food source too?!"
Maud smacked a hoof to her face as the curtain fell amidst laughter. It rose again to reveal Chrysalis and Maud standing side by side, and they gave a bow. Near the back, Limestone Pie shook her head, an amused smirk taking hold.
"That explains why she was such a terrible infiltrator, I guess."
Lemon Hearts, seated right next to her, gave her a nudge. "It's just an act. I'm sure she understood how friendship worked, even then."
Limestone looked to Lemon with a quirked eyebrow. "Didn't she react to Thorax finding happiness by trying to, like, kill him or something?"
Lemon froze for a moment. "Oh yeah. Good point."