//------------------------------//
// A Princess' Goodbye 
// Story: Those Left Behind 
// by the7Saviors 
//------------------------------//

I had told Celestia I would take up the task of finding this cursed power in Tartarus, and I intended to do that.

As determined as I was, I still had my misgivings. Doubt welled up within me almost as soon as I agreed to do this. Did I really want to become a monster?

Would I give up my equinity so easily, like Cadence did? Should I?

Was it better to just give in and accept my fate, whatever that might've been? 

No, this was the only way.

It was as Celestia had said, if that thing had its way, I'd be turned into nothing but a psychotic abomination born of madness, misery, and despair regardless. 

Just like Cadence.

It couldn't kill us, so it decided to corrupt us -- break us down until there was nothing left of who we were before all this happened. Cadence had gone insane and became a literal monster, Celestia had become less than a shell of her former radiant self, and Luna?

Luna was just... broken.

I realized I was the only one left who had even a semblance of hope or drive. Even then, I wasn't completely sure I had the former, and I was quickly losing the latter.

There was nothing left to fight for -- nothing that still existed anyway. There was no real reason to hang onto who I was before, but somehow, despite everything, I still managed to hold on to at least a small piece of me.

But it was only a small piece.

Upon further reflection, I came to the realization that this had affected me more than I initially thought. The constant weight of everything had been getting to me.

There were times when I was bitter and angry, and times where I felt like the grief and despair would swallow me whole, but most of the time I just felt that soul crushing numbness -- and it had gotten worse and worse as time dragged on.

It was occasional before, but now it was a constant -- clouding my thoughts and drowning out any kind of positive emotion I could've possibly mustered.

If this went on, I don't think I'd be able to feel anything anymore.

And the worst part was that I was becoming okay with the idea.

Ambient Magic allowed me a facade of bliss and happiness, but it was just that -- a facade. The side effects weren't worth it, and if I attempted to try, odds were that the monster would find me and drain me of all that magic.

And that was something I never wanted to experience again.

Just like Celestia -- and despite the increasing numbness I felt -- there was still a nagging need I felt to get back at the monster for everything it had done.

So I agreed to Celestia's plan.

I didn't just want to stop the monster, I wanted to kill it. I wanted it dead, and I was willing to risk my equinity to make sure it happened. For me, that was the biggest indicator that I had changed from who I used to be.

I had my doubts, but as I ruminated on where all of this had taken me, how it changed me and those around me, I chose to snuff them out. I didn't have hope for the future -- there was none anymore.

I didn't believe I would succeed in my task, but I was going to do it anyway. Any confidence or righteous fury I may have had died when I was brought down like it was nothing despite having been at my most powerful.

It wasn't even really hate that drove me to want to kill the monster. After seeing what it did to Cadence, I wanted nothing to do with hate. What I wanted more than anything, above all else... was an end to all of this.

I just wanted it to end, no matter what I had to do.

Suicide literally wasn't an option, so I didn't even try. The only option left was Celestia's plan, and all of my thoughts up to this point washed away any more misgivings I had about it.

All that was left, was to say goodbye.

I had told Celestia my decision, but she had somehow sensed the hesitation under my determined tone and had told me to think on the matter, so I did.

Now it was time to stop thinking and start doing.

I took a deep breath and rose to my hooves from where I had been sitting for I don't know how long at this point. I trotted over to Celestia who was sitting on the opposite side of the cave and staring in the general direction of her muttering sister with a look of... I wasn't sure to be honest.

It had gone beyond resignation.

The sorrow was there, but there was also a sort of contentedness in the sorrow. It was like the sadness, pain, and misery had come full circle and gave way to some sort of zen state of acceptance -- like she had fully embraced the belief that to suffer was to live and vice versa.

I shuddered at the thought.

Nevertheless I pressed on, fully intent on saying what I needed to say, because when it came right down to it, I probably wouldn't see her or Luna ever again -- at least not as they were.

When... if I came back, she and Luna may very well have been nothing but monsters, driven mad by the very monster that caused all this heartache.

This may very well have been my last chance to speak to my former mentor and mother figure.

As I got closer, the white alicorn's ear twitched and she turned to face me. I hesitated for a moment before continuing on.

"Celestia?" I began, trying to sound more confident than I felt, "I've decided that you're right. This is the only way to finally end this nightmare once and for all."

Celestia nodded as if she had expected such an answer. She turned back to her sister as she addressed me.

"Even if you manage to kill the monster, the nightmare will not end, Twilight," Celestia replied calmly, "but at the very least, we may finally find some kind of peace or closure."

I chewed my lip as I thought on her words, slowly nodding after a moment. She had a point, but this was all assuming she and Luna weren't corrupted into mindless monsters when all was said and done.

"Yeah, I... I  guess. I just..." I sighed and shook my head, "I don't know, Celestia. I don't know what to say, but I have to say something... I need to say something before I go."

"Then say it," Celestia replied, keeping her unseeing eyes on her sister, "I know what you're thinking, Twilight, and you're probably right," she finally turned back to me, "Luna and I most likely won't be leaving this cave as the ponies we were when we arrived."

Those words hit me harder than I expected them to.

I already knew it was probably going to be the case, but to hear Celestia say as much without even the slightest hint of worry or remorse unsettled me and I suddenly felt a strong urge to break down and cry right then and there.

I held back however. 

The time for breakdowns had passed, and I had a task to fulfill. I took a deep breath and schooled my features before speaking once more.

"I'll be honest, Celestia," I started, "I... I was starting to hate you all -- hate what you had become, but..." I trailed off uncomfortably, but Celestia motioned for me to continue on, much to my surprise, so after a brief moment, I did, "...but I can't afford to hate you, not anymore."

I looked my mentor in the eye.

"You're all I have left, for however long that lasts... and I..." my voice hitched but I continued, "I might come back, a-and find out that I'm... I-I'm the only one left..." I wiped my eyes with a hoof and continued, "I d-don't want... want hate to be the last thing... I don't want y-you to think that I... I-I'm..."

I was spiraling.

I needed to keep it together.

I couldn't keep it together.

I rushed over and practically slammed into Celestia, latching onto her like my life depended on it.

"I'm s-so sorry, Princess!" I cried, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I d-didn't... I didn't mean... I'm so sorry, Celestia!"

I nuzzled my face into Celestia's warm chest as my apologies gave way to wordless sobs. I felt a wing wrap around me, but I paid it no attention, focusing only on letting out everything I had been holding back for so long.

After a moment, the wing lifted off of me and was quickly replaced with two hooves that pulled me into a tight embrace. I returned the hug, and for a moment -- just a brief moment -- I was a filly again.

There was no monster.

There was no death.

There was no destruction.

There was no eternal darkness.

There was no numbness.

There was no sadness, sorrow, despair, or misery.

There was only Celestia.

As we sat there, my heavy sobs eventually became, whimpers and soon enough I managed to slowly and reluctantly pull away from Celestia. I sniffed a few more times as I looked up into her milky white eyes and saw that she was looking back at me with a sad smile.

"We may never see each other again..." Celestia said, raising a hoof. This time I grabbed it in both mine without any hesitation, and her sad smile grew warmer as she spoke, "...but never forget that I love you, Twilight Sparkle. I've always loved you like you were my own, and I always will."

I took her hoof and held it against my face as more tears streamed silently from my closed eyes. After a few heartbeats, I released her hoof and stepped away before opening my teary eyes and giving my mentor the most sincere smile I could muster.

I knew it would most likely be the last one I would ever wear.

"Goodbye, Princess Celestia."

Though she couldn't see it, she nonetheless returned my smile with one of her own.

"Goodbye, my Faithful Student."


With that, no more words were needed.


I turned and trotted out of the cave.