-Jade-
“So where would I find a Jackalope around here?” It was my friendly neighborhood goddess Sekhet that brought up Jackalopes, strange rabbits that grew antlers from their heads. Our discussion wasn’t long, but it had been somewhat interesting.
They could grow back their antlers once lost and are not very different from normal rabbits. I think I’m going to need Fluttershy’s help on finding one. Maries shed off skin and fur was a bit disgusting, but for the most part it was almost one solid mass that she pulled off like a jacket by ripping it down the center from between both their front head heads and then all the way back to where Marie started.
It was kind of like a cicada shell, only instead of coming out her own back, she came out of her own chest. I would ask Zecora to study some of that molted skin and fur later, right now I was writing down the things that Sekhet said might be viable to look into.
I wondered what Fizzle was up to right now, it didn’t matter because I was going to have to wait for Fluttershy to pop in to Airship Mauled before I can try to find a Jackalope. Hydra weren’t hard to find, it’s actually surviving one long enough to get away with stealing some of its scales that would be the issue.
Froggy Bottom Bog, the place where a hydra or two could be found. It’s not safe to be anywhere near a swamp if you know a hydra would be there.
A smart hydra would snap you up off solid ground at the edge of any swamp, then you’d instantly be either swallowed alive or crushed in the mouth and you’d be luckier if the hydra didn’t chew its food. If I was swallowed alive, I could just stab my way out as being swallowed alive is not nearly as lethal as being crushed then swallowed.
If the hydra was dumb, or a fan of theatrics, it would rise out the swamp slowly before trying to get you on land. Hydra were not known for their great land speeds, they had to move slowly and were much more dangerous to encounter in water or swamps.
As dangerous as stepping on a highly poisonous stone fish really, you’d never see it and before you knew it you were on your way to dying.
While I was waiting for Fluttershy to show up I might as well find something to busy myself with… magic missile aiming practice? Oh right, I haven’t been able to tell mom about that yet have I. Fizzle just immediately dragged me off to bed as soon as I got back, but she really did need the sleep.
It’s kind of hard to disturb a sleeping pony when they looked so peaceful and cute, especially while they were cuddling up to you and sighing happily.
“Well time to go ask mom if she wants to…” I stopped and stared at the jackalope staring at my fire as if mesmerized. There was no way I was this lucky, this had to be a trick.
Still… I had to try! I slowly snuck up on the grey antlered rabbit creature.
-Fizzle-
“Why do you want to kill Jade, what exactly has she done to deserve your ire aside from existing?” There was one thing that I couldn’t wrap my head around, it was just something Jade couldn’t have possibly missed. What she ignored was that the thestral assassin being in the same room as her was the most notable thing Jade didn’t draw any attention to whatsoever.
The thestral just sent me a glare, her golden eyes affixed upon my own, Kuril eventually came over and patted the thestral on the head. She didn’t look too old or young, in fact without a voice it was kind of hard to judge her age.
From what Kuril told me, she seemed to be mute and it wasn’t because her vocal chords didn’t work. It was because her vocal chords worked too well that she couldn’t talk, anything that came out of her mouth would be too high pitched to hear. She couldn’t physically speak without hurting someone’s ears, including her own.
She looks like she’s seen a lot of things before we caught her and tied her to the chair. Getting captured by Maries during the parade must have scared the wits out of her, every time she saw the chimera she shivered and didn’t glare at everyone in the room like she has been doing for the past few days she’s been stuck to the chair with mom taking care of her needs.
I wondered if Maries could hear the thestral if she were to try speaking. I heard a crash from outside and sighed, was it another Pukwudgie attack? I trotted out the door and saw Jade sitting in the middle of her fire, she was glaring at a confused looking antlered rabbit.
“Were you expecting my tail to catch fire or something humorous like that?” Jade didn’t look happy and she was about five seconds from entering petty kitty mode, I guess her fire wouldn’t hurt her judging by the way she wasn’t panicking by sitting in the middle of the flames.
The antlered rabbit nodded while smiling sheepishly, it looked like it was about ready to start running and it had better be. Jade was getting really quite fast.
“Then you don’t know me very well, let’s get acquainted!” Jade pounced and the antler rabbit leapt away and Jade started chasing after it on all fours. They leapt into some bushes and I could kind of make out the rustling shapes of both of them moving away
“Get back here and give me your antlers!” Wow, Jade sounds kind of angry there. I had to find something to do other than chase after Jade or watch the assassin that mom is caring for.
What to do, what to do… maybe Jacky is doing something interesting. I think I’ve been too clingy lately and if Jade wants to go chase a rabbit with antlers, who am I to judge? As long as she doesn’t come back half dead… I heard a loud explosion and a cat yowl.
If she dies, I was going to force her to haunt me for the rest of my life. I could learn to love a ghost.
Somehow I feel like I’m going to grow up to be a very sarcastic adult if I have to keep dealing with all the insanity around here.
Shaking my head, I made my way over to the fruit grove looking for Jacky. I eventually found them.
-Dr. Permanganate-
“So it can be toxic if misused or handled incorrectly Ms. Chickadee.” It was so nice to teach young minds about dangerous chemicals and or substances. I narrowed my blue eyes upon the youth to make sure she understood the dangers. “So be careful when handling such chemicals.”
“Right, because I don’t want those chemicals to eat through my feathers…” Jacky was quite a clumsy girl, but she was quite intelligent. I saw the one they called Fizzle joining us, I’m sure she’ll pick up on what we’re talking about soon enough. “What would you suggest for stopping bleeding in a fast and messy way? As in a no other choice kind of manner where you’re bleeding quite badly and need a quick patch.”
“A first aid scenario? Well I’m not that kind of doctor, but… I do know a few tricks.” I needed to keep repeating that I wasn’t a medical doctor, I was a skin, fur and feather care doctor. “Like take deodorant for instance. Most deodorants have Aluminum Chloride, which can clot nicks quite fast. However, you should never use pure Aluminum Chloride as it will burn and itch, but if all you have is pure Aluminum Chloride then beggars can’t be choosers. It’ll hurt, but it will stop the bleeding.”
“I would like to hear more about this.” Oh it would be nice to be able to entertain another young mind like yours Fizzle. I knew some quick and easy medical science, again medicine was not my specialty so much as topical creams were. I just happened to know some cheap medical tricks.
“Considering you’re a pirate, do you know what plantains are Jacky? I mean the ones that aren’t related to bananas.” I now had two students to teach, I was not trying to steal Cheerilee’s students, but they were coming to me to learn so I might as well give them something useful to remember if they ever get lost in the wilderness.
“Wide leafed plants that get about as big as a lettuce leaf that can grow just about anywhere?” Ah yes, then she knew what to look for.
“Yes, any genus of Plantago, not Musa, can be used to seal wounds. They are always used in ointment styled medicine called spit poultices, which is actually something within the realm of my specialty.” I started my lecture, if they were interested who was I to let knowledge sit around doing nothing. “When you have been bitten by a bug or a snake, chew some of a plantain plant leaves thoroughly to a mush and then spit it on the problem area. Let it dry out and it’ll suck the poison right out of nasty stings or itchy bites, but it’s not particularly useful against stronger poisons and it stops bleeding quite well. Plantains usually contain allantoin, baicalein, catapol and a few other helpful things. If you’d like to know more about those chemical, look them up.”
“Any other methods or plants to look for?” Ah yes, don’t you worry Fizzle, I had plenty of knowledge in the subject.
“Why yes, there’s also Soldier’s Woundwort which is better known as yarrow. It too is a chew and spit poultice.” Yes, I knew quite a few of those, but I still wasn’t a medical doctor. Just to be on the safe side I should really start a garden with a few of those plants, the children around here seem to get into vicious battles with pukwudgies and other things quite often. “If you really want something out there that can stop a bleeding wound in an emergency, then you need to look no further than lip balm.”
“Lip balm… never had a need for the stuff.” Well of course you didn’t Jacky, you had a beak and beak beings never had to worry about drying lips like we ponies sometimes do.
“Yes, well you have a beak my friend. Just know that a good lip balm can make for a pretty good sealant to large cuts and will stop scabs from forming, not all lip balms are created equal though. Watch out for the ones with cancerous compounds.” Was there any more I could tell them? Ah yes, there was an interesting one. “I also know a recipe for something called Instant Scab, it uses potassium ferrate. Potassium Ferrate is not toxic and is generally purple colored salt. It’s a chemical that requires some making and has a rather poor shelf life, but when mixed with the right stuff you can stop a bleeding artery almost instantly. It works for a good hemostatic powder that can prevent horrible scarring.”
“Could you maybe direct me to a few books on this?” Jacky asked pleasantly while clamping her talons together.
“Of course I will, it’s so nice to see young ones like you wanting to learn useful knowledge. My knowledge is all in topical stuff.” If they ever had some trouble I can eventually give them a live demonstration. “So if you need my help with something related to that then you can come to me… well I think I might be able to show you my stuff right now. You girls keep your friend entertained while I go get something for all those stings she has.”
Both girls turned away from me and towards the lumpy mess of a cat that was grumbling about jackass jackalopes under her breath. She was one to talk about being slightly jerkish.
-Fizzle-
“Okay Jade, what happened to you? You look like you lost a fight with a bee hive.” All those welts I could see covering her body must really hurt a lot.
“That darn jackalope dropped a fire wasp nest on me, at least it wasn’t flash bees or… flyder’s.” Nobody likes flyders Jade, nobody. So stop shivering in the thought getting caught up in a flyder swarm, because you’re giving me the shivers too! “Just so you know, I will catch the little monster and I will get what I want out of him. Mark my words, I’m going to war with that jackalope.”
“I would say don’t do that, but knowing you… you probably wouldn’t listen to me.” To me, it looked like she wasn’t about let this one go. “So, how are you feeling Jade?”
“How do you think I feel?” Jade was acting rather calm if she was supposed to be very uncomfortable I was not seeing it. “I’m going to thank my high pain tolerance on this one, fire wasp stings make you feel like your entire body is lit on fire. Like literally lit on fire, it’s quite excruciating I’ll have you know.”
“Oh… ouch.” Jacky hissed out loud and looked away. “At least your acting calmly, I’d be pretty bad off in your situation. Maybe possibly screaming angrily to the heavens and asking why the world seriously hates me so much to do this to me.”
“First thing I did was scream 'jackalope' in the angriest voice I could manage to get out.” Wow Jade had really good control of her body, I can only see her faintly twitching or the small flashes of grimaces appearing on her face. “So yes, I did something to that effect.”
“Right then, I’ve got some yarrow and some plantain leaves. Would you like to apply the spit poultice to your special some cat personally Fizzle?” He held out the bushels of the plants needs to help jade and I took them all in hoof. “Apply directly to all her welts wherever they may be after you’ve chewed them nice and proper.”
“Yes, please do hurry and make it stop Fizzy.” It was so disturbing to hear Jade say that so flatly, but I threw some of the yarrow and plantain leaves into my mouth and got to work on chewing them.
After having chewed the yarrow and plantain leaves for a while I spat a large wad out into my hoof and looked ups at Jade as she took her shirt off.
I moved over to Jade and started to rub this gunk into her fur, smoke started coming off of her in a hissing noise like that of a fire being put out. Jade sighed with audible relief and leaned into the circular motions I was making with my hooves.
“Be sure to evenly coat her welts Ms. Berrytwist and she’ll be feeling better in no time.” You were a good stallion Dr. Permanganate.
“No, time already happened, just a little more caressing like this and I’ll be in Elysium.” Smiling, I started to get Jade behind the ears and she almost melted into my hooves. "Yep, I've gone to Elysium. Tell my friends I loved them."
"Stop being so dramatic Jade." I threw some more herbs into my mouth and began chewing. "You've had worse than this."