Pandemic: What you are Meant to Be

by Halira


Chapter 55: Dread Thoughts

Remedy couldn't return to Rosetta right away after the testing was done. She was in too desperate need of a bath. The testing had involved in parts Crumb Cake rubbing some sort of gunk all over both her and her dad, and then Beetle doing something that made the gunk glow different colors. They made lots of notes and did rubbed new gunks on from time to time. By the end of it both Remedy and her dad felt positively disgusting.

Her dad said that she was free to make use of the shower first after it was all said and done. Remedy let the Equestrians know that there was no need to wait for her as she could easily fly back to the church on he own.

It turned out to be no easy chore to separate Time Turner from inspecting various things around the house.The earth pony gained over everything from the microwave, the television, the air conditioning unit, and even the fluorescent bulbs in the kitchen. With an endless string of questions about how things worked, how wires were insulated, and where the power station was at. It quickly became apparent what his role in the team was; he was here to find out about human technology.

Eventually Tempest bit into the scruff of his neck and literally threw him out the front door once her patience was exhausted. He put up some complaints about how he was a scientist and should not be treated in that fashion, but a hard glare from Tempest hushed him quickly.

After the Equestrians had left, and Remedy was finally clean, she thanked her dad for his hospitality and promised to visit again soon. She then made her own quick exit and within just a minute was coming in for a landing next to the camper. Rosetta was waiting outside for her.

She went over to nuzzle her marefriend and was given a kiss for her efforts.

"You took longer than I expected at that," Rosetta said as she finished her kiss.

"I let them run tests on me too just so they could gather more information. They didn't tell me ahead of time it involved rubbing goop all into my fur. I had to take a shower to get all the crap out," Remedy said with mild annoyance at the amount of scrubbing it had taken.

"They give any hints about whether they can change your dad back to human?" Rosetta asked.

"Nothing certain. They did indicate they highly doubted their was any return to humanity for those of us with cutie marks. We all felt that before, but it's nice hearing that from the Equestrians too," Remedy answered as she sat down.

"Even if I wasn't pregnant I think the idea of turning into a human is just scary to think about. I mean yeah, that was my life up until three weeks ago, but it's hard to conceptualize some things. Not the concept of having hands, but like the feel of hands. All those fingers...I just have a hard time imagining that feeling natural anymore. It isn't just that our parts are all different, it's like the memory of their sensation and use are gone too. I might as well try to imagine being a jellyfish. In theory I can, in practice it's just-for lack of a better word-alien," Rosetta said as she looked over to where her brothers were playing catch with a football in the distance.

"It makes sense when you think about it," Remedy said as she watched the boys too. "If we kept that muscle memory we might end up trying to take actions like we still had human bodies. It would cause all kinds of anxiety."

"That would certainly mess with our ability to be content in our pony bodies. On one hoof I'm happy it's that way, on another it makes me feel manipulated by things beyond my control," Rosetta said with her ears laid back.

Remedy gave her lover a sad look.

"Are you having second thoughts about being a pony is a good thing?" Remedy asked

"It's far too late for that. It was too late from the moment I got pregnant, and even further too late when I got my cutie mark," Rosetta said with a shake of her head. "I'm just feeling stress between new foal on the way, seeing the passive speciesism of your mom, and feeling guilty for wishing the rest of my family were ponies too."

"You hadn't said anything about wishing they were ponies before," Remedy said with a raised brow.

"I just admitted it to myself today. I was so happy that Wild was a pony too when I found out. On top of that I'm terrified this foal will be something other than a night pony, and want to keep it with family if it isn't a night pony, but can't help feeling that my parents aren't up to the task because they aren't ponies. Wild said she'd help if she had too, but they're all correct about that being completely unfair to her," Rosetta said in a shamed voice.

"I wonder if that's where that Equestrian foal raising custom came into effect. Have a foal you feel completely helpless in raising because it's not the same breed as it's parents? Just pass it on to a family member that is that breed. Get so accepting of doing that and after a while the idea of passing younger foals off to the older seems less a big deal," Remedy said thoughtfully.

"If I ever get to get back to studying ancient cultures your sociological perspective will be a lot of help," Rosetta said with a small smile. It slipped quickly though. "Are you disappointed in me for thinking these things?"

Remedy wrapped a wing around her lover and nuzzled her.

"Of course not. It's okay to be scared and unsure. You're trying to figure out what to do and taking a good look at yourself in the process. I'm pretty sure your parents would understand how you're feeling too, and feeling something similar themselves. You saw how unsure they looked when the boys challenged them about why they didn't deliberately get the rest of the family infected when both you and your sister were. I'm betting they are still questioning themselves if the did the right thing," Remedy said as she continued to nuzzle.

"And I'm probably making them feel worse because I make it clear I don't trust them to raise our foal since they''re not ponies," Rosetta said as her posture slumped.

"They're ready to rearrange their entire lives to keep the family together. Both you and your sister are grown mares, they don't have to do that, but they're doing that because they love you both so much," Remedy reminded her.

"I know, which makes me feel more guilty," Rosetta said.

"Sit down with the two of them and tell them how your feeling. Get it off your chest. Let them be open with you about how they're feeling too. It might hurt a little, but you're all better off if you don't keep it bottled up," Remedy advised.

"I'm afraid they'll think I resent them staying human," Rosetta said in a near whisper.

"But you don't, do you?" Remedy asked.

Rosetta shook her head.

"No, of course not. They did what they thought was best under the circumstances," Rosetta said.

"So remind them of that too. It'll work out," Remedy said softly She shifted subject then. "So, how is Tattered doing?"

"She's doing better. Her wings are in casts, but they seem to be whole again. She slept through what they did and is still sleeping. Lavender says Tattered needs to rest and heal, but will be able to fly again in a week or so," Rosetta said with a grateful smile at the change of subject.

"I'll not bother her while she's asleep, but it's good to hear it worked. Hopefully they will get to the others soon," Remedy said with her own smile.

"Oh, and your mom was looking for you. She said to tell you she would be in her office working all day, but wanted to see you before you went to sleep," Rosetta said as she remembered.

Her mom's office was actually the pastor's office, but still no word when he would actually return. She had pretty much decided that roll was hers and taken up shop there as a result.

"She say why?" Remedy asked.

"Nothing, didn't imply it was urgent either; just before you go to sleep today," Rosetta said with a small shake of her head.

"I'll go see about that then. You and I could both use some sleep, it's been a long morning," Remedy said with a kiss.

"I'll be in the camper. If I fall asleep without you just come cuddle up with me when you get in," Rosetta said as she gave her own kiss in return. "Love you."

"Love you too," Remedy said as she left Rosetta and headed towards the church.

Remedy quickly made her way to the office her mom furiously claimed and knocked at the door. She briefly wondered why it was necessary to even have the door closed, but quickly reminded herself that her mom did keep secrets from the government. It bothered her because it made her wonder if her mom was keeping other secrets from ponies as well. Her mom's personality transformation over the past two weeks and Shimmerist beliefs still left her feeling uneasy about her mom, despite what gaps between them had been closed.

The doorknob and door lit up in her mom's red magical aura and opened, and Remedy walked in. She found her mom sitting at the desk with piles of paperwork to either side of her and the laptop computer in front of her. Her horn was still glowing as she used her magic to continue typing as she simultaneously used her magic to reshut the door behind Remedy. While doing both those things she levitate a cup of coffee to her mouth and took a drink.

"You're getting very good at doing lots of things at once with your magic," Remedy observed.

Her mom paused her typing and set the coffee mug down with a sigh.

"All basic levitation though. Still don't know much more than that. I can move things and use my horn to make light. Oh, and Match Stick taught me how to light a candle too. Not the most impressive list of spells, but we're still learning," Blessing said with a small shake of her head.

"What did you want to see me about?" Remedy asked.

"Word reached my ears about you taking the Equestrians to see your father this morning. I'm not mad, if that's what that bastard wants let them dissect him for all I care. I was just wanting to inquire about their methods that you saw," Blessing said.

"They put some gunk all over us and did some tests that made it glow different colors," Remedy explained, then quickly added in. "And before you say anything; no, I don't want to be changed back and they assured me that they wouldn't attempt anything like that. They were testing me to in order to compare the test results of a pony with a cutie mark to one without."

"Hmm, that's interesting information," Blessing said slowly.

Blessing lit her horn back up and began typing up something else with the keys of the laptop being typed very quickly. After a moment she stopped to look over whatever she just written and lit her horn one more time for a single keystroke, before closing the laptop and looking back at Remedy.

"Another thing I wanted to ask you about was this; tomorrow I'm sending a few ponies over to Riverview to just check the place over and get a feel for it. Reports and the assurances of their representatives can only be trusted so far. Also sending Number Crunch to possibly arrange a few acquisitions of property that we researched in town. I would like you to go with them and get a nighttime perspective of the place as well, just spend one day and night. You can take Rosetta and her family with you, make it a family outing. This is their future home too after all," Blessing said.

"I can do that, and will talk to Rosetta and her family about whether they want to go," Remedy said with a nod. "What kinds of property acquisitions is Number Crunch doing? Fields for farming? Housing for ponies?"

"No, those kinds of things are already being negotiated here, and are all just awaiting signatures. She'll be looking into things for some completely independent projects. I'm sorry, but I can't really talk to you about them yet, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention word of them to the Equestrians," Blessing said with a small frown.

She had just said Equestrians, not the government. That implied it was something the government either knew about, or wouldn't have a problem with, but something that the Equestrians would. Questions flooded her mind, and the general unease about her mom and the government's cooperation resurfaced.

"Alright, my lips are sealed. Anything else?" Remedy asked.

"Nothing else. Just make sure you're getting enough sleep and eating right, and that Rosetta is taking care of herself. If they agree to go I'll pay for gas and give them some spending money for the trip. They are doing this as a favor after all and I don't want to cause them any burden," Blessing said as she reopened the laptop.

"Aren't you afraid of Number Crunch spending money will attract the government's attention to how much money you have?" Remedy asked curiously.

"Number Crunch had considerable wealth herself, and frequently did land speculation as a human. The government won't raise an eye to it. In fact they know about this particular set of purchases and will help her negotiate if need be, but only as a last resort. There is nothing to worry about as long as the Equestrians keep their muzzles out of it," Blessing explained as she began typing again.

Remedy nodded again and made her goodbyes. As she left she couldn't help trying to guess what the hell her mom and the government were doing that they didn't want Equestria to know about.