//------------------------------// // 3 Isn't it Lazy When Writers Just Reverse Characters Personalities In An AU Story // Story: Dracula (Not exactly) // by Cyndaquil //------------------------------// It was a small venue. The club was located in a back alley, advertised only by word of mouth. Despite this, most of the patrons were careful to keep their mouths shut, lest the constabulary crack down on the establishment. Spike sat in a corner table. The bouncer had asked about the dragons age, not that he would know from dragons. Fortunately he had no less than four chaperones; these included Lily Valley, Daisy, Roseluck, and making a rare social appearance was Starlight Glimmer. “Do you really think it’s her?” Spike asked. “You tell us. You’re the only one of us that would recognize her.” The program scribbled on a chalkboard indicated that she was on next. The name listed was Pinkamena Diane Pie. “So why isn’t Midnight here with us?” Roseluck asked. “She found Rarity.” Lily and Daisy seemed to be the only ones of their group enjoying the current act, a vaudevillian pantomime who went by Panini De Fromaggio. Seeing her friends laugh at such immature and pedestrian humour made Starlight sigh. “How much longer?” Starlight begged. “You here to see Pinkamena?” The waitress asked while setting their orders upon the table. “That we are.” “You’re gonna be disappointed. Her act just hasn’t been the same since they took her sister away.” “Pardon me?” She was hoping they would ask. This particular waitress loved to gossip. Perhaps she’d even get more to say to her other customers about the unusual set of ponies and the dragon sitting at this particular table. “Pinkie used to be the funniest girl in town, then she told a joke that offended the wrong person.” “The wrong person?” Spike’s curiosity was piqued. “Who is the wrong person?” “It’s the local Burgermeister. You folks must be from out of town. Everypony here knows what happened. The Burgermeister tried to punish Pinkie but her sister jumped in to defend her. Poor Maudie was accused of inciting sedition. They sent Maudie to spend the rest of her days in the coal mines, and Pinkie’s been different ever since.” The waitress turned to move on to her next table, then decided she had one more thing to say. “Weird thing though, we do get letters from Maudie, and she seems to really love it in the coal mines.” Roseluck poked at her dessert. The others seemed to like strawberry just fine, though if they had stayed in the castle then she could be eating Spikes steak and kidney pie right now. About this time, Panini De Fromaggio completed his act and cleared the stage. Mademoiselle Cake stepped up to announce the next act. “Now wasn’t that fun ponies. Let’s hear it for Sir Frommagio.” The room erupted with applause. Daisy and Lily joined in. “Our next act is a very talented performer.” There were a few groans and boos from the audience. “Why do you keep her around?” One heckler yelled. “Now, now my little ponies I know her old material was more popular, still it is good that she’s branching out and experimenting with new things; I guess. Maybe it’s just a phase. At first Spike did not recognize her. Her hair was flat and straight. Her eyes were like upside-down semicircles with dark shadow, or possibly large bags beneath them. She wore a black dress, had a purple lily in her hair, and thigh hight stockings of purple and black stripes. She tapped the microphone three times, coughed, drank some water, then spoke. “Tonight I’d like to do some poetry readings from my favourite author, Edgar Allen Pony.” The flower witch trio all looked to Spike, as if to say: ‘please tell us that’s not her.’ Spike turned nervous and adjusted his collar feeling sweat coming on. Starlight Glimmer was captivated, now this was entertainment. “This is terrible. We can’t take her to Midnight like this. What’s she going to say when she sees the element of laughter is all gloomy and scary?” “Now there’s the pot calling the kettle black.” “That one poem about the raven was pretty funny.” “No it wasn’t starlight!” Spike took out a paper bag and started breathing into it. When he seemed about to pass out, he released it and started taking command. “Okay, I think I know what to do. They say she got this way when her sister was sent to the mines.” He pointed to Lily. The flower witch ponies always seemed to be a package deal, so at some point he randomly chose her as their leader or main representative, Though sometimes he felt he should have chosen Daisy instead. “You three go square things off with this Burger King pony…” “Burgermeister - That would be the chairman of the executive council of a township.” Starlight interrupted. “Yeah, that guy; go set him straight.” Lily looked up from filing her hooves, as though this barely warranted her attention. “Sure we’ll do that.” “Starlight and I will take the chariot of Bat Ponies, and go get Maudie Pie.” “If I must,” Starlights response was sardonic at best “When it’s all in order, we’ll go talk to Pinkie.” And so the plan was set.