Chapter 5
Apples and Oranges
I stared at the newspaper article sitting on the floor. Twilight looked up at the rest of us. “I was looking into anything I could find on Tangerio and this is what came up when I looked”
“There was a feud between Applejack’s family and Tangerio’s? That would explain why I didn’t see any family photos of him back at Sweet Apple Acres” I said thoughtfully putting my chin on my hoof.
Twilight nodded “This was years ago, I was just a filly at the time. Apparently it was an all-out war between the families that was all over the news”
Pinkie looked at the photo and frowned “I don’t think it ended very well by the grumpy looks they have” Pinkie was right, both parties looked ready to kill in the old photo. I had to commend the reporter at the time for jumping in the middle of a war zone to get the photo of both families.
I nodded my head “We’ll ask Applejack if she knows anything, now we gotta look for our suspects”
Pinkie jumped to her hoofs “Alright this looks like a job for-” She leapt into a nearby closet and came out in the most ridiculous looking Sherlock Hooves hat I’ve ever seen. I held back a laugh as Pinkie proudly declared “Detective Pinkie Pie! And her trusty sidekick Twilight!” Pinkie suddenly put a bowler hat on Twilight’s head. At that moment I lost it and started rolling on the floor laughing. Spike joined in as well the two just looked so ridiculous I couldn’t help but laugh.
Twilight frowned at Pinkie trying to contain her growing fury “Pinkie...we talked about this...now remove the hat before my magic accidentally knocks over a bookshelf...and squishes a certain pink pony”
“Sorry Twilight, old habits die hard” She took off the hats and smiled innocently at Twilight.
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“You sure this is where this guy is supposed to live?” Twilight said as we arrived at Scarwing’s shack just outside of Ponyville. That’s really all it was: a shack with some sheet metal for a roof.
Spike looked over Twilight’s shoulder. He’d been riding her the whole way here. “I would’ve expected some kind of empty warehouse or something, maybe a scary mansion”
“The goal is not to scare Spike” I said pointedly “It’s to hide. He’s a hitpony and this is his hiding spot where he goes after a kill”
“Somepony actually pays someone to kill Ponies?! That’s like, crazy!” Pinkie said shocked. The naiveté of these small town ponies was going to get old way too fast.
I stepped to the door and levitated my revolver out; my companions all had a different reaction when they saw I had a gun.
Twilight’s eyes grew wide “YOU HAVE A GUN!!?”
Pinkie grew thoughtful “Maybe I should’ve brought my party cannon too”
Spike’s eyes shone “Cool! Can I try it when you’re done with it?” That earned him a glare from Twilight which shut him up. She glared at me and I sighed.
“It’s just a precaution...Spike run to the back in case he makes a break for it, Pinkie you climb on the roof and prepare to jump on him should he try to fly off. Twilight and I will take the front door” Everypony went to where they were supposed to go. I leaned against the wall beside the door and nodded to Twilight. She nodded back and I knocked on the front door.
“Scarwing! I know you’re in there! You’re under arrest on suspicion of the murder of Tangerio Orange!”
A crash was heard and the door slammed in my face. I was dizzy for a moment but after I refocused I saw Pinkie leaping off of the shack and landing on top of the huge black Pegasus. I couldn’t get a clear shot at the Pegasus’ wings. The rest of us ran after the Pegasus and his unwanted passenger. Pinkie was wrestling with the Pegasus trying to get at his wings to bring him down to earth. The Pegasus tried to shake her off but Pinkie was persistent. He cursed and tried to fly off away from town.
I tried to aim my gun at him “Damnit I can’t get a shot without hitting Pinkie!”
“I got him!” Twilight’s horn glowed and a nearby boulder was hurled into the air. “Pinkie. Jump!” Pinkie heard and leaped off the Pegasus just in time for the boulder to hit him on the back. Twilight then used her magic on the tree branches to tangle the disoriented flyer. I used my own magic to catch Pinkie Pie from falling on the ground.
I looked at Pinkie “You okay?” I gently set her down on the ground.
“That was fun, can we do it again?” She said smiling, I facehoofed.
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Uniforms came to pick up Scarwing; Twilight covered Spike’s ears to save them from Scarwing’s very colorful language. A uniform came up to me as they dragged the suspect into a jail carriage. “He won’t be getting out anytime soon, we’ll take him to the detention center for you Detective”
“Much appreciated, also I need you guys to look for a guy named Yahtzee he’s an earth pony with a red coat and a top hat. I was told he’d be at the winery”
“We actually already got him; somepony filed a sexual harassment case against him this morning. You can just talk to him when we pick him up” I had an idea who filed that case against him. Good going Larksong!
“Thank you officer, we’ll be down at the detention center soon” The uniform nodded and trotted off with the rest of the uniforms.
I turned back to Pinkie and frowned at her. “That was very reckless of you, I didn’t ask you to jump on his back and put yourself in danger like that”
“Well I wasn’t about to let him fly off, besides it was fun! No wonder Rainbow Dash loves flying so much!” Rainbow who now? I shook my head and sighed.
“Just...don’t do anything crazy like that again” I knew it was useless to try and dissuade her from helping out. I already learned that lesson the hard way.
Twilight came up to us “So what now? We go and talk with the suspects?”
“I’ll go talk to them, you and Spike go back to the library and research more of this feud” I said firmly.
“Oo! oo! Can I come with you Private? Pleeease? I’ve never seen these ponies before! I really need to see if I can become friends with them! Nopony should be without Pinkie Pie as a friend! Wonder which random song I should sing...” Leave it to Pinkie Pie to want to make friends with a couple of ponies that could have potentially killed somepony. I gave up.
“Alright, but you do not talk to them unless I say so. Pinkie promise?”
“Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a cupcake in my eye!” Didn't it hurt to stick your hoof in your eye?
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We arrived at the detention center at about noon. Pinkie bouncing behind me like she was on her way to a picnic. I envied her a little, she seemed so carefree. I entered the interrogation section and looked through the one way mirror at Scarwing whom was sitting in the interrogation room. He looked intimidating with that scar over his right eye and his ruffled wings. He had hoof and wing cuffs on to keep him from flying away. Judging by the fact that several guards were holding their stomachs, he already tried that. I looked at Pinkie “Alright I’m going in, you stay here”
Pinkie saluted as I entered the interrogation chamber. There was a table between us as I sat opposite him. “Look you bastard, I ain’t saying anything until I see my lawyer”
“Your lawyer won’t be here for a while; you have more than enough time to answer some questions I have about a certain dead farm worker...”
“I ain’t got anything to do with the murder you’re talking about!”
“Why so defensive?”
“Like I said, I ain’t saying nothing until my lawyer gets here!” Lawyers...they made interrogating a witness a living hell. I had to resort to something else...but what? Then a light bulb lit up in my head and I smirked. “What? What’s with that smirk?” He asked sounding suddenly very worried.
“Well I just figured that since your lawyer was going to be a while you wouldn’t want to talk to little ole me” I smirked as I stepped out of the interrogation room. I smirked a little as I saw Scarwing sweat a little on the other side of the glass. I turned to Pinkie Pie “Pinkie? Would you be a peach and talk to this guy for a while?”
“Ooh! I’ll talk to him all about my recipe for Cherrychanga! Or was it Chimicherry? I can never decide! I betcha he also likes pickle barrels!” She dived into the room and I put in earplugs as Pinkie Pie went to work. She went on and on for five whole minutes about various topics such as: her expansive collection of party invitations, her lifelong dream of working at a kumquat farm just so she could say kumquat all day, and just how scary looking Scarwing looked with, well, his scar.
I entered the interrogation room to find Scarwing on the floor trying desperately to cover his ears. “Please! For the love of Celestia make it stop!!!!”
I covered Pinkie’s mouth as she continued talking a mile a minute muffled by my hoof. “The only way it’ll stop is if you start talking!”
“Over my dead body!!”
I removed my hoof from Pinkie’s mouth “I didn’t even start on Pickle Barrels! That’s such a fun word to say! Pickle Barrel Pickle Barrel! Have you ever been to one of my parties? They’re very very fun! Everypony is invited to them! Unless of course you're a meanie pants like Gilda or something! But you don’t look like a meanie pants so you can come along if you want!”
“Alright! ALRIGHT!!! I’ll talk! Just make it stop!!!!!”
I nodded to Pinkie “Thank you Pinkie, I’ll take it from here”
“Aww, and I was going to talk to him about the practical way to use a party cannon...” She said walking out of the room. I should bring her along for more interrogations. Scarwing sat back in the chair opposite me and we started over.
“Where were you when the murder happened?” I asked plainly
“I was at my shack awaiting a call for a new job”
“Or...you were already performing a job”
“Where’s your proof I was there?” He said menacingly
“Can I have one of your feathers for a moment?”
“Whaddya’ need my feathers for?” he said suspiciously
“If you’re innocent....then you have nothing to fear”
“Fine...” I used my magic to pluck one of his black feathers off his wing. I held it up to my eyes and if my hunch was right then it should...Bingo! I levitated up the feather found at the crime scene. A perfect match, I could see Scarwing sweating a lot now. He knew he was in a corner he didn’t want to be.
“A witness will testify he saw a shadow flying out of the crime scene when the murder occurred. Also another will testify that she felt something land on her head as she left the scene. That something...was your feather”
“It could be anypony’s feather! You can’t prove it’s me!”
“I had DNA tests run on the feather. Let’s just say you’re not going to be able to talk your way past a DNA test that says the feather is yours. Also during the summer a lot of pegasi molt to make way for new feathers...this feather, is one of the ones that would be lost when one molts. I also notice your feathers are a little ruffled, molt recently Scarwing?”
He didn’t say anything for a long time. He had nowhere to go now, even if he tried to defend and deny he’d only be burying himself in a deeper hole. He sighed then spoke “You’re good detective, you got me. I killed the Orange kid. But I didn’t do it because of anything personal. It was just a job”
“I know that, you’re a hitpony right? Who hired you?”
“Yahtzee, that little snake hired me to take out that Orange brat. Didn’t say why and I didn’t ask why. If a client says to kill and he’s paying enough, well who am I to question why?”
“Another witness will testify that you were at Sweet Apple Acres with Yahtzee prior to the murder. What were you doing there?”
“Yahtzee wanted to talk to that big stallion that works there about something. I don’t remember what though; I only know it had something to do with their farm”
“Thanks for at least coming clean with this. You’re still looking at banishment for this. Why’d you give up Yahtzee so easily? It took Pinkie to get you talk about the murder, yet you were more than happy to give up Yahtzee hiring you”
He shook his head “I don’t hold any loyalty to my clients. I just do my job and besides. If I’m going to the moon I want that bastard Yahtzee to go with me so I can kill him myself”
“He cheat you out of the job?”
“Yep, wouldn’t pay me after the job, said something about letting me take the fall or something. Never liked the bastard and I’ll be damned if he doesn't get something for setting me up like this”
“You think he let you get caught? Let you take the fall so that nopony would connect the murder to him?”
“I’d bet my left wing on it. Detective...before you go I want you to drop off something. I have a kid up in Cloudsdale. If you ever see him, give him this...” He handed me a small package with a tiny ribbon on it. “Give it to him if you ever find him...his name’s Stormfront...don’t tell him what I was”
“Alright Scarwing...I’ll take it to him if I ever see him...but this doesn't mean you won’t pay for your crimes against the Orange family and the Apple family”
“I know, but I just want to know I’ve left things better then I found it” He said, his voice had a tone of what sounded like...contentment.
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I stepped out of the room levitating the package beside me. Pinkie looked at me trying to come up with something to say. I shook my head, I wasn’t happy about committing him for this, but it needed to be done. I left the package on a seat and Pinkie fell into line beside me. After a while she finally got the courage to say “What’s gonna happen to him?”
“He’s looking at banishment for murder, and for the rest of his murders that he committed for profit” I said as plainly as I could. Pinkie deserved to be told straight what was going to happen.
“It’s so sad...that somepony would kill ponies like that and what’s worse is that he’s got a little colt he did it all for” She said. It was the second time I heard Pinkie Pie so somber. I hated seeing her like this.
“Pinkie...I hate it too but we gotta go on with the case” I said trying to comfort her.
“I just wasn’t expecting being a detective to be so...hard”
“It’s hardly ever easy when it comes to murder cases" I gave her a comforting smile “You just gotta face it”
“Thanks Private...that makes me feel a little better...” She smiled a little, though I could tell she was just trying to put on a brave face. I suddenly got an idea.
“Pinkie, could you wait outside for two minutes?”
“Sure! What for?”
“I got a little something for you”
I came outside two minutes later levitating a violin case with my magic. Pinkie’s eyes grew wide when she saw it. “You play the violin! That’s so cool! There was this one time when I used a whole bunch of instruments to ward off parasprites and…” I put a hoof on her mouth.
“Pinkie, just let me do the talking, I want to cheer you up” I removed my hoof and smiled.
“I don’t need cheering up!” She said a little too fast.
“Don’t lie Pinkie, I know how much Scarwing and his story tore you up. So...” I levitated out my violin. “I’m going to play you something I play whenever I feel bad after a case”
Pinkie sat down on the grass and I put the bow to the strings. The violin is the only instrument I could play perfectly. I took it up back when I was a colt and I used it whenever I felt alone or worried about something. I wasn’t good enough at it for it to be my cutie mark but it was something I enjoyed doing. I played a happy tune, one that got Pinkie’s smile slowly growing. She started making up lyrics for it as we played together. Something about smiling no matter what life throws at you. For five minutes we were in our own world, one where bliss and peace ruled, where nothing was complicated. It was the kind of world I think Pinkie lived in all the time. For a short while...I was a part of her world as well. I enjoyed every note, every lyric she came up with.
Life may get you down
Songs can end in the night
But so long as one never frowns
The world is filled with eternal joy and light!