//------------------------------// // Mending Hearts // Story: Not Your Errand Boy // by Zennistrad //------------------------------// Spike wasn’t sure how long he’d been crying. He had flown back to the castle without a word, quickly enough that the world below had seemed like only a blur. He hadn’t even bothered entering through the front door, instead heading straight for his bedroom window. It was one small advantage of wings, he supposed; he could easily avoid ponies that would ask prying questions. Now, as he buried his face into his own pillow, he could only wish for the entire world to disappear. The sting of Rarity’s words still lingered, coursing through his heart like a burning venom. It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair. A trio of gentle knocks came at the bedroom door. Spike looked up, eyes still sore despite himself. Beyond the door, Twilight’s voice called. “Spike? Are you in there?” A heavy breath pushed its way past his lips. “Yeah. What do you want?” The door came creaking open. Twilight slowly walked in, a deep, sorrowful frown written across her face. “Is everything okay? Are you feeling alright?” Spike flopped onto his back, ignoring the sudden discomfort of pinning his wings against the mattress. “No. What do you think?” A gentle push of air swept across the room. With a brief flap of her wings, Twilight flew up, and sat beside Spike atop the bed. Spike sat himself upright, briefly rubbing his irritated eye. Twilight’s eyes briefly drifted away, before turning her gaze back to Spike. “I heard about what happened,” she said. Her ears flattened against her head as she continued. “Between you and Rarity, I mean.” Spike’s claws gripped tightly against the sheets, and his heart jumped within his chest. All of a sudden, the air had become impossibly thick. “Easy there,” said Twilight. A gentle wing wrapped itself around Spike’s shoulder. The warm and downy feathers brought a sense of security, and he could already feel his body relaxing. “Just breathe, okay? Let it all out.” Spike complied readily. In through his nose, out through his mouth. Just like he’d instructed Twilight to do during her panic attacks. Several more repetitions, and the tension had all but disappeared. “Thanks,” he said, “I needed that.” Twilight pulled her wing back and looked down at Spike, her eyes twinkling gently in the ambient light. “Do you want to talk about it?” Spike gave a tiny shrug, one that barely even qualified as moving his shoulders. “Sure, why not. Not like I have anything else to lose.” “It must be rough, having your heart broken for the first time,” said Twilight. “I don’t know if I can help you as much as Cadance could, but I’m here to listen if you need me. Why don’t you start by telling me what happened?” Spike hesitated. Even recalling it now left a sore feeling within him. Nevertheless, he continued. “It... happened two days ago, I think. Right after I’d first gotten my wings, Rarity started asking me to do even more things for her than usual, and I got really tired out.” “And you started to think she was taking advantage of you?” “Y-yeah,” said Spike. He reached back, idly fidgeting with the spines on the back of his head. “But... the thing is, I don’t really even know if I can blame her for that. At least, not entirely.” “Not entirely?” Twilight repeated. “What do you mean by that?” “W-well... I’m your Number One Assistant, right?” said Spike. “I’ve spent my whole life helping you, so Rarity probably never thought anything of me helping her. But she still knew that I had a huge crush on her, and... and the whole time, she’s said nothing about it. Like it wasn’t even worth acknowledging.” “I guess being an assistant’s different if it’s someone you’re in love with, huh?” said Twilight. “Yeah,” Spike replied, “I guess it is.” His mind tickled with a sudden curiosity. He’d been so used to offering help for so long, yet now it seemed like it had only brought him pain. “When did I start calling myself your assistant, anyway? It must have been a long time ago.” “Well, you were very young, so I don’t think you’d remember it,” said Twilight. “I was sorting some of my books one day, when you started tugging on my tail. I told you that if you wanted to play with me, you could climb up on my back and help me reach the upper shelves.” She giggled lightly as she recalled the memory, only vaguely familiar to Spike. “You did such a good job of it that from that day forward, I called you my Number One Assistant. I don’t think I’d ever seen you happier before that day!” Spike gave a small chuckle. “Yeah, that does sound like it would have been the best way to get your attention back then.” Twilight raised a single eyebrow. “What do you mean?” “Uh, nothing,” said Spike. “Just that... well, I’m sure you already know how you were those days. You spent nearly all your time with your nose in a book or practicing a spell. I guess I’d have to help you out with that if I wanted to be noticed, right?” Twilight’s body went rigid. As she went stiff, Spike looked up to see her pupils shrinking, the very color in her face seeming to wash away. “Uh, Twilight?” said Spike. “Everything okay with you?” “Oh my gosh, you’re right.” Spike reached up and scratched the side of his head. “Right about what?” “When we were living in Canterlot!” Twilight burst out. “I-I-I was so self-absorbed in all my studies all the time! The only consistent way for you to get my attention must have been to do chores for me!” “What?” said Spike. “H-hey, Twilight, slow down!” Twilight pressed a hoof up against her forehead, grasping it with the flat of her frog. “You... you were so young back then! I-I must have taught you that the best way to get affection was to do whatever you were asked! I left you with an unhealthy idea of what it means to care about somepony and I didn’t even realize it!” “Twilight, stop!” Spike insisted. “Calm down!” “B-b-but—” Spike stood up, and placed a claw against Twilight’s shoulder. “Breathing first. Then we’ll talk, okay?” Twilight nodded, and closed her eyes. Spike felt her body slowly rise with the deep breath that she took, then fall once again as she exhaled. When she opened her eyes again, Spike could already feel the tension in her melting away. “Better?” said Spike. “Yeah,” Twilight replied. She turned to look Spike in the eye briefly, then looked away. “I still feel like part of this is my fault, though. You wouldn’t be hurting like this today if I hadn’t left such a huge impression on you as a hatchling.” Spike shook his head. “Well, no offense, but I think you’re being ridiculous.” “Really?” said Twilight. “But—” “But nothing,” Spike replied firmly. “Look, I get where you’re coming from. When I brought up how I got to be your assistant, you were scared that it might have led to what I’m feeling now. And you know, maybe you’re right. Maybe I did get the idea that the best way to earn your approval was to do the stuff you asked.” “Then how am I being ridiculous?” said Twilight. “If what I was was true, then...” Spike looked up, and met Twilight in the eye. “Because you were so much more to me than just that,” he said. “And I know that I’ve always been more to you than just your errand boy. Whenever I was sad, you were there for me. And whenever I got scared or upset, you were always the first pony to be by my side. That’s why you’re here right now, isn’t it?” Twilight paused. Slowly, a smile fall across her face. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. It was pretty silly of me to worry about that, huh?” Spike returned the smile. “So is this our obligatory hug moment?” “Looks like it to me!” Twilight said, giggling. “C’mere, you!” Spike leaned in, and was greeted by the warm hold of Twilight’s forelegs, paired with the softness of her wings. Time slowed to a crawl as they shared their embrace, and when they finally pulled away, all of the lingering soreness in Spike’s body had vanished. “So what are you going to do about Rarity?” said Twilight. “I... I dunno,” Spike admitted. “But, you know, looking back on it? I don’t think she saw me as her errand boy either. I mean sure, she did push me around a bit hard sometimes, but... she was always looking out for me in the end. When I went the Dragon Lands, she risked everything going with you to make sure I was okay. Heck, she even did it twice! And there’s all the times she helped me out even when she didn’t need to, or gave me something nice, or just generally wanted to see me happy...” A heavy sigh forced its way out of his lungs. He’d left Rarity behind before she even had a chance to get a word in edgewise. He couldn’t help but wonder. Had he just thrown it all away? “It sounds like you want to talk to her again,” said Twilight. Spike’s throat constricted, swallowing the heavy lump within it. “Yeah. I do.” “Well, you’re in luck,” said Twilight, beaming. She turned towards the door and called, “Rarity, you can come in now!” Spike froze. He had hoped, however briefly, that it was just a joke. But soon enough the door opened again, and Rarity came through. Even after everything, her coat and mane were still pristine and radiant, though her face betrayed a deep melancholy. She carefully approached, every motion of her body showing hesitance. She looked away, ears lying flat, before looking back to meet Spike’s eyes. “I heard everything,” she said. “I... I didn’t want to eavesdrop, of course, but... I just couldn’t bear not knowing if you were alright. Spike... will you ever forgive me?” The time that passed before he spoke could have been seconds as much as it could have been hours. Thoughts, feelings, and memories swirled like a hurricane within Spike’s mind, and he could only stare as he struggled to make sense of them all. A single tear formed in his eye, and he wiped it away with a claw. “Oh, Rarity,” he said, “do you even need to ask?” He jumped down from the bedside, and the entire world fell away as he ran into Rarity’s awaiting forelegs. The two held each other in their mutual embrace, letting their own emotions mingle and wash away. In that moment, Spike had almost forgotten what he’d felt for her, leaving his own pining behind. As they pulled away, he looked into her eyes one more time. “I’m sorry, Spike,” said Rarity. “It was wrong of me to assume you knew how I really felt about you. I should have simply told you while I had the chance.” “It’s... it’s fine,” Spike supposed. “You don’t need to apologize, really. I should have told you what I wanted from you to begin with. Maybe it’d have hurt less if I just asked you out, and you said no.” He looked down, twiddling his thumbs. His chest once again felt tight and heavy. Despite everything he’d just went through, his emotions stubbornly refused to be discarded. “We, um... we can still be friends though, right? Even if we’re not going to be... like that.” “Of course, dear! I would be happy to,” said Rarity. “And if you’re ever uncomfortable with anything I ask of you in the future, don’t hesitate to let me know, alright? The last thing I want to do is see you get hurt.” “Thanks,” said Spike. His chest relaxed, and he could feel a deep warmth swelling from within it. He looked up, letting Rarity’s bright smile fall across him. “It really does mean a lot to hear that from you, after everything.” “I’m glad to hear it, dear,” said Rarity. “Now, before I go, there’s one last thing I wanted to give you.” She reached out behind her back with a foreleg, and pulled out an object from somewhere Spike couldn’t see. It was a small, rectangular piece of paper, and before Spike knew it, it was already being placed into his hands. Spike held out the paper at arm’s length, staring at the odd slip. “What’s this? A check?” “Why, it’s the money I owe you, of course,” said Rarity. “After all the work you’ve done for me these past two days, it simply wouldn’t be right to let you walk away without being fairly compensated. Isn’t that right?” “Yeah, I guess,” said Spike. He squinted, straining to make out the amount written in Rarity’s admittedly less-than-perfect hornwriting. “How much is this for, anywa— ONE THOUSAND BITS!?” “You’re welcome!” Rarity replied. She turned away, and eagerly trotted out the door, disappearing into the hall. “I’ll see you later, darling! And do try not to spend that all at once!” Spike’s body remained frozen in place. His stared at the check held in front of him, his mind struggling to wrap itself around what it was he’d been left with. “One... o-o-one thousand... “ “Well then,” said Twilight, “it looks like today I’ll be showing you how to open your first bank account. How’s that sound?” It had taken some effort to pick his jaw up the ground, but soon Spike found himself nodding in agreement. Despite everything, perhaps today hadn’t been such a bad day after all.