//------------------------------// // Chapter Twelve, Courtroom Chimera: Objection turnabout. // Story: Airship Mauled // by Darkonshadows //------------------------------// -Celestia- Okay we had the owner of that death trap of an airship in the courtroom, the very pony that has also been embezzling funds for repairing an overly expensive airship that takes way too much effort to maintain. It was also a large waste of the everyday normal tax paying ponies’ money. How was Jade going to get him to… oh… no one has told Mr. Karats about the ‘Circle of the Concise’. How are you going to get him on the stand though? “How do you plead to the accusation that you took part in the theft of Mr. Billions Karats airship and were part of the conspiracy to commit the theft?” Like I didn’t already know that she was going to plead… “Completely guilty your honor.” Plainly stated the bored looking Jade, who caused the jury to gasp audibly. Wait… what! I don’t even… did she just seriously admit that she was actually guilty of the crime? She’s starting to remind me of Discord. I knew she was actually guilty, mostly because she masterminded this whole thing. From what Maries told me, Jade thought Blueblood owned the airship and wanted to catch him in the act of owning the illegal vessel in question. Obviously Prince Blueblood doesn’t own the vessel, but the pony who did and rented it out to several other nobles was still quite worthy of my ire. Why was she even pleading guilty to this? There was also that whole thing about the rubber chicken that I still didn’t understand as to why Jade brought it up and then denied having done anything with the rubber chicken. Obviously there was something important about the aforementioned rubber chicken, but Jade said that she specifically did nothing with one. “I’m still going to claim innocence for my client, as there is no evidence she took part in the theft of the airship personally.” It seemed Maria esquire was going to continue the trial as normal. “I request Billion Karats to take the stand please, so I can ask him a few pertinent questions about the night it was stolen.” Ah, that’s how they were going to get him on the stand, but how can they ask him a question when they can’t provide the evidence that the airship is not what it seems? They can’t lead the witness and he can refuse to answer any question put to him, Billion Karats stood up and went to sit in the witness stand. “State your name, occupation and place of birth for the court.” Maria lazily rattled off, the standard questions so the jury knows who they were dealing with. “My name is Billion Karats, I am of a bloodline most royal and noble.” The circle was green for the first part, but started glowing red when he stated he was of a royal or noble bloodline. Mr. Karats didn’t notice it because had his eyes closed and a hoof pressed against his chest proudly. “I’m in the business of airships and or funding modes of transport for the rich and elite, I am even one of the richest ponies in all of Canterlot!” Green glow, so he was being truthful about that. “I was born here and given my noble stature, I quickly rose to power with good investments that made me the stallion I am today.” Judging by the blood red glow, he wasn’t even a noble or born in Canterlot at all and the way he said investments was highly suspect given how red the circle turned. I’m just going to assume that Jade has caught out one of the worst scam artists to ever live in Canterlot, one that might even be scamming the nobles. If he is scamming the nobles, then I feel slightly conflicted about ousting him. Only slightly, I hoped we could find out the truth today and get rid of this haughty blemish of a pony. “Where were you on the night that the airship you supposedly own was stolen?” As Maria asked that, Jade sat up and stared at the stallion with something approaching disapproval. “I was here in Canterlot visiting some friends of mine at a bar.” Started Billion with a green glow beneath him. “It came to my shock that I heard that there was trouble at the docks. This dust mite must have been the one to steal the airship! I hurried as quickly as I could to the docks, but alas my ship was already missing.” The circle glowed red, obviously he didn’t know that we all already knew that he was wrong. He also didn’t hurry to the docks. I wondered, what was he really doing if he didn’t head to the docks immediately? “Actually, she was only seen running by the scene of the crime some time before it happened, the airship was still in the docks and multiple royal guards are witnesses to it as still being there while they were chasing my client under false pretenses. She was never seen on the airship in question and there is no evidence to support that my client has ever even touched the ship.” Mostly because the ship is gone and with the absence of the evidence Maries could easily argue her point. I wondered, why hadn’t they jumped on Billion Karats yet? “Can my client be proven guilty without evidence?” “Your honor I call Jaded La Perm to the stand so she can give testimony on why she thinks she’s guilty of stealing the airship.” After Pace said that, Billion stepped down and Jade got up on the stand. Jade motioned for me to lean closer to her and I did so. “We’re waiting for the right moment to expose him Celestia.” She whispered to me, apparently Jade had it covered. “Just continue the trial.” -Jade- Just you wait Billion. You surprised me, you’re not even a Canterlot elite and you are most certainly not a noble of any sort and you knew that for fact well enough for the circle to go disturbingly red. Also when he said he was hurrying from the bar it was a lie, what was he really doing at that night aside from visiting some friends? “Do you know exactly where the airship called The Gilded Buttress currently is?” At Pace’s question, I considered lying to get a lie response. The truth causing a lie response was much better for me. “Yes, I know ‘exactly’ where the ship is.” The circle turned red, it would have done that anyway if I had said no. The only reason why it responded that I was lying was that the circle didn’t consider some of the more pertinent facts. I didn’t know ‘exactly’ where the airship landed or the ‘exact’ location it is at, but I know for certain that the golden airship was somewhere in or near Airship Mauled. The word ‘exactly’ is what caused it to be a lie. I don’t know what happened to the airship other than where it was generally, but not exactly its location by latitude or longitude. The circle picked up on those exact thoughts and gave a false negative for me. You can easily manipulate it, but it requires a certain amount of specificity to get away with it. “Yet you claim to have plotted the theft of the ship, did you just commit perjury?” Pace asked calmly, he was quite angry at all the stuff I was going to get away with. Hoofdini has nothing on my current act. “No, I haven’t perjured myself. I did in fact plan the airship’s theft down to the finest degree.” I was happy to note that the circle glowed green. “Then how could you have not planned on where it was to be taken?!” Mr. Set slammed his hooves onto the table and Billion Karats looked a little lost, nobody explained to him about the ‘Circle of the Concise’ spell yet. I hoped that we can keep it that way for a bit longer. “I did plan on where it was taken, I just don’t know if it ever got there or if it is somewhere else. Right now it’s basically Humdinger’s cat in a box paradox.” Green glow again, oh I am ever good at this and Celestia just stared at me wide eyed. I turned a grin her way. All I needed Pace to do is ask one important question, it was 'why did I steal that ship specifically' or any variation thereof. Billion wasn’t going to like it at all when I actually answered that question. “Can you tell the court just what a Humdinger’s Cat Paradox is?” It seemed Mr. Set was up-Set, he muttered loudly to the court. “It better not be about a certain annoying intelligence flaunting cat in the courtroom.” “I am not flaunting my knowledge, I’ve been sitting here quietly while my sister performs our duty as our client’s attorney.” Spoke up Mara, who looked vaguely angry. “I wasn’t talking about you, though I will begrudgingly admit that you three are actually pretty decent attorneys.” Mr. Set sent a glare my way. Was it just because I was making a mockery of the ‘Circle of the Concise’ by being myself? Maybe it was my antics with trying to get him focused on the rubber chicken thing. Said rubber chicken was actually currently in the room with us now, despite no one aside from me or Maries knowing where it was. I’m thoroughly surprised that it hasn’t been discovered yet, I would like to post-humorously thank Chancellor Pudding Head for a certain peculiar and still very valid ancient law involving that. “Okay, Humdinger was an interesting earth pony. He did a thought experiment with a regular cat and not an Abyssinian like me.” That was my opening for this story and I was about to continue, if not for the interruption. “This is a farce isn’t it? Why is Celestia even your judge! This seems like a conflict of interest and the princess shouldn’t be judging this case.” Okay Billion, I’m curious, how would you know Celestia being the judge is a conflict of interest? “Quiet, you may speak when Pace and Jade are done. Speak out of turn two more times and I will hold you in contempt of court.” Thanks to Princess Celestia, the stallion clammed up quite fast. “The defendant will continue her story on Humdinger’s cat.” “Now where was I? Humdinger, with the help of a unicorn, put the cat in a box. He had the unicorn cast an object teleportation spell on whatever was in the box at the time, he surmised that the spell would either ignore the cat or teleport it. It was discussed that until the box is opened, the cat is considered in a state of limbo of being there and not there at the same time, thus was Humdinger’s paradox born.” Letting that sink in, I added onto my statement. “The airship is in the box, but I don’t know if the spell to teleport it truly worked or not. As I have yet to open the box, would you say that the ship reached its destination successfully? You know, since I was captured by the royal guard, I haven’t exactly had the chance to go see for myself.” “Are you quite done you piece of unwanted lint?” Okay, Billion was working up my distaste meter quite a bit with that snobby tone and the accent didn’t help either. It was so tempting to just do something like a petty kitty right now, but I would withhold myself from acting on the basest of my urges for a better outcome. “Yes.” I strained out. The circle flicked between red and green, before turning green. “Okay so you planned the theft of the ship, it was obviously successful.” Rubbing his chin and thinking on it, Pace suddenly asked the question I wanted him to. “Why did you steal that airship specifically and none of the others present in the air docks at the time? It’s had a history of breaking down so much and seems to cost a fortune in upkeep, why would you steal something that would be so costly and hard to get rid of or even keep because of how easily recognizable it is? It doesn’t seem like such a smart move for someone of your interesting intellect to take something worthless.” “The ship was definitely stolen for a good reason, it’s because I knew the truth about the ship and it is only seemingly worthless.” A green glow came from below me and a slow building look of horror came over Billion Karats face as he realized where I was going with this. I smugly smiled at the unicorn. “For the gilded butt rests secret is...” “I move to have the current judge removed on the basis that she is biased towards the defendant!” Billion almost shouted in interruption, ‘almost’ being the key word. “On what grounds could she possibly have a bias towards the defendant?” Asked Pace who noticed that the pony next to him and Shining Armor was looking a little pale in the face and was sweating a bit. “The defendant is a Sun Priest, so Celestia has to have a bias for her!” As soon as he said that, my eyes widened and then narrowed. The jury started talking and they looked quite confused by this turn of events. “I move that the court immediately instates a new judge of my choosing!” Celestia kept a pretty tight lid on that information. How could he possibly know that I was a priestess? I knew that gold bar on his flank did not mean he was of great intelligence, he did just oust himself here by knowing about that. He might even possibly be responsible for sending those assassins after me. “What’s a Sun Priest?” Shining looked a little confused, he’d been pretty quiet up until now. He was probably thinking about his actions. “Not important, but what is important is how Mr. Karats knows that I’m even a Sun Priest in the first place. I actually happen to be an unacknowledged Sun Priest.” The ground below the stand glowed green, but I ignored it. “Hold it! My client is not formally recognized or known as an acting or active Sun Priest by Celestia or any one noble.” It seemed Maria cottoned onto something. “By the laws that have yet to be repealed, Celestia cannot have a bias or conflict of interest unless Jade actually becomes fully recognized as a Sun Priest.” “Then I move to have the stinking flea bag recognized as a Sun Priest, so that we can appoint another judge!” Billion angrily glared at me. I just wondered what he knew about Sun Priests and why he didn’t seem to like me so much. “Are you really sure you want to do that?” The lackadaisical uppity tone Marie spoke in was just perfect. “Yes, I want to acknowledge her as a Sun Priest!” Everyone turned from looking at Billion to Celestia. “I formally acknowledge that she is a Sun Priest.” Stated Celestia, we smiled at one another. “See, now you have to stop being the judge!” Unfortunately for Billion, he didn’t understand the reason why Celestia agreed with him. “Nope, the charges against Jaded La Perm were immediately dropped... thanks to your actions Mr. Karats.” Banging her gavel, Celestia smiled at Billion. The gavel dropped again. “Mr. Karats, I'm quite glad to welcome you to your trial!”