//------------------------------//
// It Takes Two to Tango 
// Story: The Apple[jack] and The Oranges 
// by Nebbie 
//------------------------------//

Applejack was scrubbing dishes silently with Blood. The two could hear what sounded like arguing from the Oranges, but couldn't quite make it out.

Babs trotted in. "I told ya, ya can't just go and act like you're on the farm around here." She hopped up on the kitchen counter to sit. "The Oranges need to keep up appearances, even to each other."

Applejack sighed. "I suppose, but it just don't feel right to treat family like they're some prissy Canterlot elite. At least I know not to let loose behind a guest..." She finished with a glare to Blood.

Blood slowed down her scrubbing a bit. "Okay, I get it, I messed up! I just saw you doin' it and it seemed so...liberating. Mom and Dad sometimes make me feel like I'm in prison."

The distant arguing stopped, followed by hoofsteps heard going up the stairs.

"Well, it sounds like the wardens came to a decision. How 'bout you and me find out what it was, Applejack? And don't worry, I'll drop more than some hints this time if ya start actin' like a pig." Babs said before picking up a plate.

Applejack sighed. "I really should know better; one of my best friends is high-class and I guess I just never notice how much I rub on her... maybe I should apologize to Tangerine, show I can be a better pony and all. Save some dishes for me, Blood, I ain't abandonin' ya." Applejack said before trotting off, Babs following along.

She spotted Tangerine in the bathroom, putting makeup on with the door open.

Babs held back a ways, leaving it up to Applejack to do the talking.

Applejack spoke softly as she leaned on the doorframe. "Uh, hey, auntie. I'm sorry 'bout makin' your daughter think that was alright."

Tangerine spoke without looking at Applejack while applying mascara. "Hmmph, as if that's all you did. I have half a mind to chew you out anyways, but my husband made it quite clear that if I did, he'd be in Blood's bed instead of mine for a month." She finally turned to face the farmpony.

Applejack kept quiet to listen, looking her in the eyes with an expression that was a mix of regret and curiosity.

Tangerine sighed. "I was so shocked by your behavior that I thought I couldn't confront you would becoming rude, but apparently, Mosely thinks you've been acting just fine. He is still ultimately from the Apple farm, and it's that calm, accepting, and strong attitude I fell in love with...anyways, I suppose I should have set some ground rules. So, better late than never: I expect you to not make vulgar jokes at the dinner table, nor to blab to the press about our family, understand? Oh, and Mosely says you're free to..." She put on a slightly disgusted face. "...break wind as you please as long as you pardon yourself around guests. The same rules go for Babs and my daughter."

Applejack put a hoof on Tangerine's shoulder. "Understood, and shoot, we should've talked earlier, but...Blood ain't no farmpony."

Tangerine picked up the mascara again and began applying it rather hastily. "Mosely's decision, and he was quite clear about it. Oh, and...that pink goop you suggested did stop my diarrhea; thank you for that. Now please get out before I hurt myself."

Applejack nodded understandingly, then headed back to tell Blood with a slight smile.

Babs had been close enough to hear, and looked rather wide-eyed as she met up with Applejack.



On the big day, everpony was in the living room, relaxing, ahead of the dinner. Babs and Blood were sitting up against each other while Aunt & Uncle Orange went over some boring quarterly reports.

Applejack was reading a book about the origin of fruits, occasionally glancing to the fillies, who she noticed had been playing together much of the last 2 days.

Babs whispered something into Blood's ear, making the filly giggle. "You think so?"

"I do! No colt'll resist ya if ya just do the right moves. Here, I'll show ya." Babs replied, then put a hoof around Blood. "Hey baby, mind if I taste that fruit?"

Blood blushed and looked back at her, meeting some clearly-practiced bedroom eyes. "I-I don't know how to kiss..."

Applejack put down the book a moment, looking to the cousins, curious at where this was headed.

Babs smirked and leaned in closer. "I can show ya, sweet thing."

Blood nodded ever so slightly.

Babs went in clumsily, but managed to get Blood under her, pinned slightly against the couch arm. The two locked lips, and started to smooch tenderly.

Tangerine scoffed, but Mosely put a hoof to her mouth. "They're just playing, and she has to learn it somewhere, dear. Cousins are better kissers, I know from experience." He giggle a bit as Tangerine blushed.

Applejack put on a goofy smile. "Aww."

Babs had clearly started using some tongue, making Blood squeal a bit in surprise and blink before closing her eyes again.

After half a minute of the three staring at the scene, Tangerine cleared her throat a little. "Well, our guest will be arriving in an hour...let's give the fillies some privacy already. Mosely, Applejack?"

The two nodded and all three trotted out to get to work.



Everything was set up perfectly as the three sat down.

Babs and Blood trotted in with their hooves around each other, smiling, and sat down together.

Applejack looked at them skeptically.

Tangerine spoke up. "Blood, are you and Babs dating?"

Babs replied. "I was just showin' her what I learned from a little '7 Minutes of Heaven' me and the colts played. She only did the full 7 once, but she's a natural!" Babs gave a wink. 

"Uh, thanks, Babs, but I think I'll try the colts first. I don't know if I've got a type, but I don't think it's my cousin." Blood said, lightly nudging away Babs' hoof.

"Sure thing, but you know where to go if you change your mind~." Babs said, before giving Blood a quick parting peck on the lips, making her blush.

Applejack giggled. "Ya'll can be cuter than a bunch of bunnies ridin' puppies, y'know?"

"I guess." Replied Blood as she sunk a little in her chair in embarrassment.

The doorbell rang, and Aunt & Uncle Orange seemed eager to answer it instead of dwell on Babs being into their daughter.

"Why hello Mr. and Mrs. Orange, I trust things will go swimmingly this time?" Swift Sale asked.

Mosely replied confidently. "Of course they will, right this way, we even got some seafood!"

Swift Sale said hi to the ponies at the table and sat down. "Well I'll be. You didn't have to do that for little old me. Last one to finish their plate's a landlubber, I say!" He chuckled a bit.

Applejack shot him a glare. "You're on, sugarcube!"

Babs nodded as the three began to dig in.

Aunt & Uncle Orange took their seats, smiling at each other from opposite ends of the table.

"What the hay." Blood joined in the contest, figuring she could at least beat Babs.

Applejack finished first with a mighty belch and a belly pat. "Victory. I'll go on the seas any day."

Swift Sale finished later, but burped louder, and cleaned his mouth a bit with a napkin. "Pardon. Indeed, now which filly's a landlubber?"

Aunt & Uncle Orange ate rather quietly all the while, allowing their guests to have fun.

Blood and Babs were neck and neck, but Blood didn't stop to sip her milk, and beat her by a hair. "Hah, you're a...what's a landlubber?" She asked as she finally grabbed the milk.

Babs rolled her eyes as she finished her plate of greens. "Means I'm not cut out to sail. Can't say I disagree, ocean's always been pretty scary. So, should I start callin' you 'Blood and Chum' now?"

Blood barely avoided spitting out her milk, swallowing it and then giggling. However, her luck ran out as a loud and long sputter slipped out her rear, squeaking as it ended. She went silent, as did most everypony, who were looking at her.

Babs whispered to Blood, who then spoke up. "Uh...sorry, pardon me. Shouldn't've tried to hold it in so long."

Tangerine breathed a sigh of relief as Swift began chuckling and patting Blood's back. "You tried. Besides, out on the seas, we say a pony is better heard than smelled, and better out than in!"

Everypony chuckled at least a little bit at that, even Tangerine.



Applejack was waving goodbye to Swift as Tangerine came up to her.

"So...about everypony's behavior." She said, giving a glance to Mosely, who put on a stern face.

Applejack put her head and hat down a bit. "I know. I'm awful so-." She was silenced by Babs' hoof.

"Ya already said sorry, and Blood showed me that I really should've been clearer you were gonna cause trouble. I just felt like I couldn't say much since you were an adult. Guess adults don't really have all the answers."

Mosely cleared his throat and gestured to Tangerine.

The mare sighed harshly. "Indeed we don't...my father was in the Guard, and one thing he taught me was that when a captain's guards misbehave, it's the captain's fault. I've been treating everypony like babies, scoffing and turning away when they misbehave, when I should've been taking charge and talking to you instead. It was quite careless of me, and it's my fault that I raised my daughter wrong. Now, little lady..." She turned to Blood, who was listening with rapt attention.

"Every time I've come down on you, you've squirmed away, and whatever you will be...it's obvious you don't want to be mommy or daddy. Well, since you managed to behave yourself tonight, how about a peace treaty? We can hammer out the exact terms later, but for now, I'll let Mosely enforce his rather lax rules. All three of you are ungrounded, as well."

Blood smiled wide and bounced up and down, cheering.

Applejack and Babs simply smiled, then gave each other a hoof five. Within moments, their cutie marks began pulsating.

"My my, that's what it was!" Applejack exclaimed.

"Wait, the problem was here?" Babs asked, clearly confused.

Applejack smiled. "Yep, that's why the map chose us. Who else could get us Apples and Oranges to get along better by talkin' to each other instead of assumin'?"

Tangerine put a hoof on Applejack's shoulder. "Will you be leaving us already now, Applejack?"

"Not at all, the map don't say I gotta return. How about I stay here as long as Babs? I wanna talk to her about some things like datin', and she's a good snuggler too!" Applejack chuckled.

"You're pretty alright yourself, just don't tell me who I can't date. You're not my mom, toots." Babs replied before giving a friendly nuzzle.

Applejack nodded and the two trotted to bed.