//------------------------------//
// 'Flatulence' isn't the Fourth F 
// Story: The Apple[jack] and The Oranges 
// by Nebbie 
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Another morning dawned and Applejack was feeling ready to take on whatever the day could bring.

She nuzzled Babs awake, then yawned.

"Ungh, five more minutes, mom..." The filly replied before opening her eyes to Applejack. "Oh, heya."

Applejack gave a yawn, then stretched and scratched herself in the rear a bit. "Mornin', sugarcube."

"Mornin'" Babs replied before the two trotted out.

From the living room, Applejack could hear Aunt Orange talking to Blood about how to be a host, likely a result of last night's drama.

"Now remember, any party needs the Four Fs: Family, Friendship, Food, and Fun. You can't have a party by yourself, without anything to do, or with everypony starved."

Blood nodded, seeming bored, as Applejack trotted by.

Their eyes met, and Applejack, on her way to the bathroom, smiled, whistled, and farted loudly.

Blood giggled while Tangerine scoffed.

Right as Applejack opened the bathroom door, Babs tapped her rear a bit.

"Yeah?" Applejack asked as she turned around.

Babs spoke softly so the others wouldn't hear. "We're not on the farm or at my friend Dumpster Diver's house, ya can't just let rip like that around here unless you're in the bathroom."

Applejack rolled her eyes. "We're all family 'round here, sugarcube. 'sides, ain't like the door's soundproof!"

Babs shrugged. "I guess...have a nice pee."

Applejack chuckled a little and trotted into the bathroom.



As the afternoon came, Tangerine had everypony lined up in the kitchen.

"Alright, we have a guest coming over and you all need to be on your absolute best behavior. If we leave a bad impression, he may pull out of the deal." She said sternly.

Mosely gave a simple "mmhmm" and a nod as he stared into Applejack's eyes.

"'course, I know a thing or two 'bout hospitality, and don't you worry, I'll be right as rain!" She said.

"Good, he'll be here in thirty minutes. Ready the table with Mosely, I'll be freshening up." Tangerine said before trotting towards the restroom.

Applejack got to work putting out plates while Babs laid out the silverware.

Blood Orange simply put away some odds and ends lying about as Mosely kept an eye on her.

Once everything was ready to go, the four sat down.

Applejack cleared her throat. "So, is this food gonna be those fancy little dinky bits o' nothin'? No offense, but when I was a filly, the food was barely a single bite for me!"

Mosely smiled. "That was a short social gathering with quite a few ponies, it is customary and cheap yet polite and thoughtful to serve little hors d'oeuvres. Since we're inviting a single stallion to dinner, what we're serving is more substantial."

Tangerine came out looking a little fancier than usual and silence reigned again.



The doorbell sounded finally, and the Oranges went to get it.

Applejack stayed put, listening to the pleasantries.

Tangerine opened with a clearly-false compliment. "Ah, Swift Sale, have you lost weight?"

The stallion chuckled. "Flattering as ever, Mrs. Orange, but I'm afraid my stomach is demanding I put on more! Would you please show me in?"

Mosely politely chuckled as they trotted in together.

Applejack turned to see the stallion, a dark blue unicorn with a wavy mane of azure and white and piercing sun-yellow eyes. His cutie mark appeared to be a boat with a large bit sign for a sail.

Tangerine came around to make introductions. "Here is Blood, as you know, and two family members staying over, Applejack, and Babs Seed."

"Howdy" Applejack replied with a little wave.

"Nice t' meet ya, slick." Babs said.

He bowed slightly. "Well, nice to meet you two as well. Shall we get started? I worked up quite the appetite on the waves earlier!" He sat down with a slight chuckle.

"Of course." Replied Mosely, as he began setting food onto the plates. It was nothing special, mostly just salads, simple soups, and omelettes.

Applejack took a whiff and quickly noticed spices she didn't recognize. No doubt the go-to choice of rich ponies who need to make an impression.

She quickly commented. "Mmm mmm, smells delicious!"

She then followed this up by scarfing a salad and mashed potatos into her mouth, leaving Mosely agape.

Swift Sale patted her on the back. "That's the spirit! I've seen too many ponies act like food is to be picked at for scraps, as if we are a common seagull. Real food is to be devoured like you are a mighty shark coming down on a school of fish!" He near-shouted before digging in himself, to the relief of the Oranges.

"Exactly! Can't have a rodeo if there ain't no bulls buckin'!" Applejack said as she grabbed a bowl of soup.

Tangerine shrugged and used a rather large spoon instead of the regular soup spoon to enjoy her vegetable-tomato soup. "Well, it seems we've gotten off to a good start."

Babs and Blood dug in somewhat slowly, followed by Mosely.

As Applejack got to her own bowl of soup, the spices overwhelmed her for a moment.

"Ah...aaah....ah-choo!" Her sneeze went right onto her plate, leaving Aunt & Uncle Orange once again stunned.

Swift Sale seemed not to notice, even as Applejack followed it up by a loud burp. "Pardon."

The Oranges truly relaxed, and sounds of soup-slurping could be heard.

Swift spoke up. "This is a great meal, it's like you ponies knew just what I wanted! And my compliments to the chef."

"Why thank you." Replied Mosely.

As Applejack finished her soup, Blood Orange got up suddenly.

"It's nice and all, but needs more pepper. Whatever you spiced this with is...kinda gross, Mom. No offense." The filly said, earning a stare from Babs and Tangerine.

Blood trotted behind and around Swift to grab the shaker, letting rip a few loud farts just inches from him.

Once she sat down, Applejack giggled. "Seems those beans are comin' out! If she's anythin' like me, she'll be like a rattler after a mouse next to a skunk by bedtime!"

For a moment, everypony was silent, but Swift, covering his nose, eventually cleared his throat. "I...think I've lost my appetite..."

Blood Orange sat down smugly. "More for me!"

Tangerine looked like she was about to blow.

Swift Sale looked between the two. "Mr. and Mrs. Orange, while I loved the meal, I'm afraid I must go. Perhaps we could have dinner again once you've...had a chat with your daughter." He trotted towards the door.

Blood Orange just then realized what she was in for. "Uh...whoops?"

Tangerine exploded just as the door closed. "THAT'S IT! YOU ARE GROUNDED WITH APPLEJACK, AND BOTH OF YOU ARE CLEANING THIS UP! I...I cannot believe you did this. When I told you of the Four Fs, flatulence was not the fourth, little missy! It was fun, and there is no fun in...in leaving your odor upon our guests! Applejack, I am holding you personally responsible for this! She was imitating you!"

Applejack nodded and gulped. "...y-yes ma'am!"

Mosely finished eating and beckoned for Tangerine to accompany him to the bedroom, leaving the three younger ponies to reflect and clean up.