It All Started With A Big Bang

by Cipher800


Manehattan, City of Boring

Last time on "I Got Sucked into a Land of Ponies", I was stuck in a land of pones, collecting my thoughts in my brand new room in Twilight's Castle when all of the sudden, a wild Pinkie Pie showed up at the scene, and with me and a white unicorn in tow, we went to the Bootleg Brooklyn of Ponyland: Manehattan. There's even a ripoff Statue of Liberty to accompany the rest of it. But to the white unicorn, it was no ripoff, but the crown jewel of Equestria, but I couldn't care less. Pinkie went here to see her sister, and I was dragged here because of the disease I caught known as isolationism. The first thing that happened when we were at the train station, Pinkie went to a random grey pony, which I'm guessing is Maud.

As they talked to each other, I looked around the city, trying to get my thoughts off of this friendship nonsense. How could a bunch of weird-looking horses construct skyscrapers. Everybody besides myself is either a technicolor horse that is minding their business like a normal person or a technicolor horse that is totally insane. This "Pie Sisters Surprise Swap Day" thing was that special day that Pinkie was talking about. Every year, Maud's gift apparently blew out Pinkie's, but this time, she was gonna give her something special: a rock pouch? And Maud called her lucky rock "Boulder" and treats it like someone would to a beloved pet. Now, I'm concerned on a number of levels.

Of course, we travelled around Bootleg Brooklyn some, went onto the Statue of Harmony's crown, and then, they were brought to the room of claustrophobia. Thankfully, I was too big to fit in such a space, so I had a good excuse to avoid that thing. And then, there was the ice rink. It looks classy, I must admit it, but I preferred the rink from when me, Mario, Sonic and the gang duked it out in the Olympic Games before planning my conquest of the universe. I also didn't skate in it either and just sat there and watched. All the while, Pinkie brought that accursed party cannon with her. I swear, she would have been arrested, judging by the amount of times she brought that thing with her.

And finally, we were at this restaurant called "The Cantering Cook". The patio's like a typical fancy restaurant, and as for me, I was sitting right with the gang, with no seat due to my large size, and I was sitting right in between the sisters. As for one of them, she was making a picture, which drew the unicorn's attention. Oh, the joy of using puns.

"Pinkie, put down that crayon! The Cantering Cook isn't that kind of restaurant!" Rarity said, causing Pinkie to spit it out before the white unicorn spoke again. "Oh... A pony could get used to eating at places like this!" Guess I won't have to eat at fancy restaurants, but my attention was turned to Maud when she spoke.

"I know. It's the only restaurant in the city with nepheline syenite in their bathroom tiles." she said in her usual deadpan voice. Well, talk about a weird and somewhat gross thing to talk about, and caused Rarity to shudder in response.

"You know what, Pinkie Pie? Uh, maybe you could help me figure out what to order!" Rarity said, trying to pull her attention from the... quote of Maud's, and who can blame her? I certainly can't. But I caught the two whispering about distracting Maud so Pinkie can get her the pouch for that rock. They're behind the menu, but that doesn't stop me from hearing every word they say.

"Oh, why, thank you for the kind assistance, Pinkie Pie. And now I know exactly what to order." Rarity said. Well, I know exactly what I want to order.

"You are very welcome, Rarity! Now pardon me whilst I go wash my hooves!" Pinkie said before zooming off, thumping into a random pony before apologizing. As soon as she went out of the picture, I looked around before turning my head to the menu, looking for any meat dishes fit for a king. I didn't get any steaks, but they had fried fish in store, so that's what I'll have for lunch. Just in the nick of time, a waiter came to me.

"Alright, I finally found some grub suitable for me." I said to the waiter, who was shivering in fear of me. "I'll have the fried fish, preferably salmon or tuna with assorted clams, and surprise me with the rest." The waiter saluted and ran off to get my order, and when Maud finished her story, Pinkie came in, but she seemed depressed.

"Lemme guess. No pouch?"

"Huh? Oh, right." she said with that sad expression.

"Tell 'em everything, rosy. I thought I heard something about distracting somebody." I said, electing the pink pony's shock as the white unicorn ordered her food.

"I suppose so," she said, inhaling before letting it all out. "The door to the rock pouch store is locked because the owner's on a sudden vacation to Canterlot with his grandniece for a few moons, and so there's no way I can get the perfect present for Maud, and now I don't have any present for her at all, so it'll be the worst Pie Sisters' Surprise Swap Day forever and ever and ever!" she said before sobbing before the waiter placed our meals on the table.

"Oh, not to worry, dear! I'll just have to help you find a new present for Maud. We have plenty of time before your gift exchange at sunset and all of Manehattan to explore. We're bound to find something Maud would like. Maybe even more than a rock pouch!" Rarity said, cheering the pink pony up.

"You're right! Thanks for everything!" Pinkie said. And so, we were on the road againas Rarity takes Maud to several stores from within the city: including a toy shop, a jewelry store, and a flea market—to see if anything, anything catches her interest. However, Maud only expresses interest in rock-related things, causing Rarity immense frustration. When Maud offhandedly mentions that she wishes she had something to carry Boulder in, Pinkie Pie realizes that her original gift idea of a rock pouch was best. Then, I saw this street rat, and Pinkie traded her party cannon for the pouch.

She brought that thing with her all that time, and was willing to part with it for her own sister's gift. Now, that was very determined, but she eventually wanted her cannon back. Maud needles Rarity for the truth, and then, we were back with the street rat jerk. "I'd like to return this pouch for my sister's party cannon, please." the grey earth pony said, but the guy didn't budge.

"Sorry missy, but my sales are final." the guy said. Funny he didn't notice me, but I was starting to feel bad for Pinkie, she gave her most prized possession to her sister. So I decided to chip in.

"Really, mister. Sales are final?" I said as the street rat gazed upon me in fear as I walked closer to him. "Ya know, I've been thinking, she'd like to return this pouch, I can see it." I said, gazing at the cheapskate before he gave in. "The kid gave her cannon to you, but her confetti needs to go SOMEWHERE. So what do you say?"

"Here! Take it, take it, please! Just don't eat me, I'm skin and bones!" he said as he returned the boulder pouch and gave Pinkie her cannon back before running off.

"Thanks, Maud, and thanks to you Bowser. You both got me my party cannon back!" Pinkie said happily, firing confetti out of it. "Uh-oh. I just realized something. 'Cause you gave back the pouch for my cannon, this is now the second gift you've gotten me today! And it's something I really, really wanted! You did it again! Your gifts are always better than mine! Next year, I'm gonna have to really step it up and-" before she could say anything, Maud began to speak.

"Pinkie, gift giving isn't a competition. It's an expression of love, and you always make sure to give your gifts with lots of love. That's why I'll always love them, and you, five-ever. That's even longer than for-ever." Maud said in her usual deadpan voice, though there was a tint of happiness in it.

In my opinion, Manehattan is still a Bootleg Brooklyn, but with Pinkie and friends, it can become a little exciting. They even wanted to spend a day with Rarity. They offered time with me, but of course, I passed and stated that just once is enough for me. Admittedly, we all have our unique tastes and stuff. I looked into the sky, noting that the sky was in dusk.

"We'd better get going, it's getting dark." I said as we once again boarded the Friendship Express. I shuddered as we entered the girly train, electing laughs from the two mares as Maud parted from the group. "But, I must ask, why did she want me to go with you?" I ask the pink pony beside me, who was much calmer, by the way.

"Twilight thought you were a little down about your planet, and she sent me to cheer a special somebody up. And judging by it, you really needed that adventure." Pinkie said, electing a laugh from me.

"You wish." I say in response. "Though when you have lost everything, you need something to take it away." I admitted before I looked out the window. At one of the apartments, I kid you naught, I saw a red earth pony accompanied by a green one with inverted manes and cutie marks that had to do with plumbing, both of which were male. And on another apartment, I saw a pink earth pony with a blond mane and blue eyes. I was honestly shocked at their thick resemblance to some old... acquaintances I used to know back before the events 13.7 billion years ago.