"So, Derpy's the one who brought you here and that portal thingy gave you, like, a bunch of super powers?"
"Pretty much, but I'm not complaining!" you cackle, lifting a large wagon of apples with your legs.
You and Rainbow are goofing around, exhibiting your newfound abilities. Twilight and Starlight left awhile ago, believing you to be in 'good hooves', and Spike decided to stay and watch your awesomely sick moves. Doc, on the other hand/hoof, is taking notes faster than Twilight does! Derpy's taking notes too.
Or maybe she's playing Hangmare by herself. I bet five, the answer is 'muffins'.
"This is a fascinating find, isn't it, Miss Hooves?"
"Aww, zap apples!" Derpy whines. "It WAS 'muffins'."
Cha-CHING!
At this point, you feel like a total boss right now, ready to take on whatever the world throws at you. You look to your bros to find them whispering to a yellow pony with a tan mane. Their conversation seem to involve you because Rainbow and Spike keep sneaking glances at you. As you approach them, the yellow pony leaves.
"Hey guys," you say. "Who was that?"
"Oh, that's Mr. Cake," Rainbow states. "He was just talking to us about......a new secret recipe of his at Sugarcube Corner."
"Wanna come sample some with us?" Spike offers.
"Sure, why not?" you shrug, putting down the wagon you were mindlessly lifting.
You bid farewell to Whooves and Derpy, as you catch up to your bros. While exploring the rest of town, you start to notice there aren't as many ponies as there were earlier.
Are they shooting their rendition of "The Good, the Bad and the Filly?"
The three of you arrive at a gingerbread-like building when the faint scent of cake reaches you.
Is it somepony's birthday? I know a lot of cakes, and that's a classic BDC.
You hesitantly enter the dark establishment when realize, Dash and Spike were gone. "Guys?" your voice echoed. "Are you there-"
All of a sudden, the blinding lights flash on, Spike and RD pop up behind you along with other ponies appearing from all directions and confetti explodes in the air.
"SUPRISE!"
"AH!!!" you scream, clutching your chest.
"Let's get this 'Welcome to Equestria Party' STARTED!!!"
As you recover from shock, you watch Pinkie throw a record like a Frisbee towards a phonograph. It pathetically bounces off of the device and shatters.
"....oopsie." the silly mare groans in embarrassment.
You'd play some of your sick jams for them, but you can't find the damn play button on this player. There's the rewind, fast forward, record, pause, and two eject buttons with one scratched up a bit-
Wait, two?
Idiot.
You unhook the cassette from your belt and push the slightly faded PLAY button. This thing's got some zing to it, because everypony inside and outside the building could hear it.
You catch yourself rhythmically tapping your foot as the familiar beats kick in. Ponies around you seem to get hooked on it. As you get a terrible case of happy feet and dance around, RD and Spike join in, then eventually everypony else.
At first, they started kicking around like they're having a massive seizure, but they eventually get the feel of the most powerful magic known as ELO and move to the beat. There's this white unicorn with a cyan striped mane and black goggles who was really getting down to it.
Somepony has good taste.
Man, we all have happy feet/hooves right now!!!
Later that evening, some ponies are completely exhausted from the countless songs you have and take their leave while others stayed and socialized. That white unicorn from earlier has totally passed out from all that dancing and thrashing. Her dark-grey friend came in and basically dragged her out, appearing to have done this before.
You also spot a pale mulberry mare with grapes and a strawberry for a cutie mark sleeping head-first in the punch bowl, blowing fruity bubbles.
How is she breathing in that, exactly?
Spike is potentially drunk at this point.
WHO GETS DRUNK OFF PUNCH?! Unless...
"Alright, who 'spiked' the punch?" you lazily joke.
In a split second, the unconscious mare in the punch bowl raises her hoof.
"Wow, for real?"
She groggily looks up to you and nods her soggy, juiced up head before resuming her slumber in the bowl. You laugh for a while until your stomach shuts you up. It was very clear that you had a skosh too much cake.
So did RD and AJ, for that matter. Those two cannot go one minute without competing against each other. Their stomachs are absolutely BLOATED from the cakes and punch they consumed. Guess you have to carry your three friends' sorry flanks home.
Like HELL I'm doing that!
"Alright you two lazy fillies, time to get the buck up!"
This world is hacking your vocabulary. Roughly.
You pick up the unconscious dragon and prepare to leave when a pink blur rushes past you towards the door.
"Wait, you can't leave without your gift, Nonny!" Pinkie says, shoving a gift in your face.
"Oh, t-thank you, Pinkie!" you say wholeheartedly with a smile on your face. Opening the box, you find something blue at the bottom of the box. You take a closer inspection at your gift.
...uh oh.
POP!
SQUEAK!
Confetti and balloons engulf you and Spike as Pinkie falls back, laughing her mane off.
"HA, you should've seen the look on your face! PRICELESS!"
You have the saltiest frown on your face and you're ready to kick somepony's flank. But you always did appreciate a good prank.
And Pinkie's laughter is rather contagious.
But she's also distracted.
With a swift hand, you pick up her party cannon and FIRE. Her laughs stop dead in her tracks. You let out the most crazed, throat-choking cackle you could manage.
Mark Hamil's got nothing on you.
You drop the cannon and walk over Pinkie, who's laughing even harder than earlier, before passing out in a snap. Mr. and Mrs. Cake come by and pick up the unconscious pony.
"Don't worry," Mr. Cake says. "This always happens."
You nod and carry Spike towards the castle, but you feel like something's missing....
My pack! I must've left it back at the doc's lab!
You make a quick trip to Doc's to find your bag dangling on the doorknob. There's a note:
Dear Anonymous,
You seem to have misplaced your pack earlier today, old chap. I'm currently working on something that'll be more to your liking in the near future. Until then, stay...'cool' is it? Kids today...
~Doctor "Time Turner" Whooves
You pick up your bag and resume your walk.
As you enter the crystal playset, Spike's drooling on your shoulder.
WAIT! I GOT IT....Buck to the Future!
"Aw, BOOO!"
Get. Out.
"Alrighty tighty!"
Aren't you supposed to be asleep right now?
Some time later, you put Spike to bed, and head off to yours. Walking down the hallways, you hear a commotion. It sounds like someone's blasting something. As you get closer to the source of the sound, the library, you feel the floor shake. Cracking the door a smidge, you see Twilight and Starlight obliterating floating targets.
"Hey, girls," you greet, stepping inside. "What's up-"
Starlight turns to you when her horn blasts a beam of magic that misses the target, ricochets off the walls and comes barreling towards you.
.....damn.
The beam strikes you in the chest, throwing you against the wall.
"OMIGOSH!" Starlight screams, hovering over you. "ANON, I'M SO SORRY!!!"
You open your eyes to find yourself completely unscathed. Your shirt on the other hand...
"I think I'm okay." you pant.
Starlight and Twilight sigh in relief as the floating targets disappear.
"Don't worry, it was my fault," you nod. "Came in at a bad time. I distracted your.......what were you doing?"
"Practicing teamwork blasting," Twilight states. "Wait, how were you not affected by it?"
"Portal...?"
"Makes sense."
"Geez, Anon!" Starlight winces. "Your clothes really took a beating since you arrived."
She's right. Branches ripped your sleeves during that timberwolf attack, got dirtied up by your embarrassing flops and getting yourself anime blasted by a pink unicorn.
In other words: you look like ASS.
"Ugh, I noticed," you sigh. "Now that I think about it, where do ponies usually get their clothes."
Twilight's ears rise.
"I think I know a mare..."