//------------------------------// // Episode 17: Boom Shakalaka! // Story: Life of a Wanted Changeling Season 4: At Luck's End (Comment Driven Story) // by BrownDog77 //------------------------------// Zapper frost’s Comment ThePonySpartan’s Comment As you rush over to a nearby dresser to put in front of the door, Timber groggily sits up with his eyes still spinning. “Anyone get the number of that bus?” he says as he holds his head. “AH! There’s a bus here too?!” you shriek and whip around, accidentally throwing a vase of flowers that hits Timber and causes him to groan more. “Ohhhh,” he groans as he clutches his forehead. Thankfully, you see no metal carriage of stinky doom invading the cabin. Oh Thank Luna, you breathe a sigh of relief. A killer goddess camp counselor I can deal with, but if even see a bus, I’m setting this whole place on fire! I doubt it’d fit through the front door, Sombra remarks. “Hey! Let Me In!!!” comes a cry from outside as Gloriosa bangs on the door. AH! I spoke too soon! “There’s noling here, just go away now,” you say halfheartedly as you pull a table in front of the door. Suddenly her face appears in the window. “Stop moving stuff around! You’re scratching all the floors!” she angrily says, the dried blood still caked around her nose. She then notices her brother with the smashed vase all around him. “What Did You Do To Timber?!!!” “EEEP!” you shriek as you quickly put a mattress in front of the window, blocking her view. “HEY!!!” she shrieks and starts banging on the glass. It’s then that you realize there are countless other windows around, so you turn to the dazed human on the floor. “Oh, that’s gonna leave a mark,” Timber says as he shakes his head and looks to you. “Now Bugze can we calm down and-“ *SMACK* You slap the teenager across the face to get his head in the game, which only serves to make him even more dizzy. “No Time for idiotic things like calming down Timber! We gotta build more barricades!” “Build?” he asks in his stupor. “Yes, Build!” you repeat “Alright! Build our fortress up!” he says groggily as he grabs the refrigerator and starts shimmying it. “That’s the spirit!” you encourage. “Build it up like Marecraft!” "No! Not like Minecraft, what are you, twelve?" He snaps back at you, not noticing you said Mare instead of Mine. "This is my Fortnite skills coming out!" "...Fortnite?" “Yeah, you know, it’s a battle royal type of game that…wait a minute, what am I doing?” he says with a shake of his head and stops pulling the fridge. “Why are we tearing up the cabin?” he says, his head no longer foggy. “Because we have to barricade ourselves before your evil sister snaps her fingers and wipes out the town! We can’t let her get this Siren Stone back!” you inform, showing him the purple stone. “What? My sister would never do that!” he says in shock. “She told me she could! She’s Gaea Everfree! She’s probably a descendant of the Sirens.” How do you figure that Bugze? Selena asks. Well duh, magic rocks granting powers? And as Smokey likes to point out, humans aren’t magical, so that means she’s got to have magic in her blood, so ergo, Siren descendant. That’s…actually pretty logical, Selena says impressed. I know right? And wait, if Gloriosa is a descendant, then so is…You eyes then widen as you make another deduction. “Which means so are you…” you accuse the boy who looks beyond confused. “Huh?” “Oh Gods! If the Sirens got sent here thousands of years ago, they must have turned human as well and…Bred with the natives,” you gag at the implications. “What are you talking about?” he demands. “You and your sister are part evil fish horse, and now she’s fallen to the dark side and using your nifty family heirlooms,” You shout out your deductions. “I…What?!” Gloriosa’s face then appears in the kitchen window. “Timber! Stop him from wrecking the cabin!” she yells. “No Timber! Don’t embrace the Dark Side!” you shout as knock into Timber, sprawling him on the floor as you rush to the window and pull down the shutters. “OH COME ON!!!” Falx_of_Lume’s Comment Master of Shadow’s Comment “EEE, she’s getting desperate. Stupid magic in magicless world!” You then rapidly grab anything and everything you can get your disgusting human hands on to shove in front of the door, the windows and the chimney of the cabin to prevent Gloriosa from getting in. You hear Timber groan and sit up behind you. "Ugh, my head." He groans after suffering three consecutive head injuries courtesy of you. "Timber! You’re a weird crime against nature hybrid, but you haven’t tried to kill me yet so that makes you cool in my book, so pull your own weight already so she doesn't kill us!" You call back at him without stopping your mad scramble to block the door. "Ugh... Bugze, what?" He says in confusion at your actions. "Come on! Don't make me do all the work! Both our lives are on the line here," You say to him rapidly, attempting to get his flank in gear. You hear a crashing sound behind you, and you obviously conclude he’s following orders. “Good, just like that. Make more loud noises!” "Bugze..." He says again. "Yeah, that's my name. Your name is Timber Spruce, and your sister's name is Gloriosa "Gaia Everfree" Daisy, who is also going to try to break through this door any second now so we should really start trying to make it so she can't by piling as much crud in front of the door as possible before she tries so HOP-TO-IT MAN!!!" You belt out, never stopping your task. "Bugze." He repeats. "Dude! Come on! She'll get us for sure if you don't help out! I don’t care if your great great something grandparent was an evil sea horse, we’re in this together!" You exclaim in panic. "Bugze. There's a back door and Gloriosa's already inside." Timber deapans, causing you to freeze and turn your head around slowly to see that Gloriosa is indeed inside the cabin and standing there next to Timber with an equally deadpan expression on her bloody face. “Timber you traitor! I take back what I said about you being cool!” “Ahhh,” he groans in displeasure. “Alright, enough of this nonsense!” Gloriosa booms. “Give me back my rock already!” “No! You’ll kill us all!” you shriek back. “OK! Both of you calm down!” Timber says stepping between the two of you. “Let’s have a rational discussion like normal human beings OK?!” “I Am Not A Human Being! I Am A Changeling!!!” you shout in response as your eyes dart around for any way of escape. Kichi’s Comment Alright, all exits on this side are blocked because of me, and she’s blocking the backdoor with her stupid vines. There’s gotta be another exit! Bugze, perhaps we should admit defeat and give her back the stone, Selena offers. Never! We didn’t come this far in this crummy world to not get this stupid stone! I have a solution, Sombra offers. Not now! I need a plan, not some stupid thing about crystals or stairs... Wait, that’s it! I’ve figured out how to save us! You think in glee as you look to the wooden staircase next to the kitchen, while Sombra sighs. “You’ll never take me alive Siren Spawn!” you yell as you sprint towards the staircase. "Bugze, Wait! You can’t go up the stairs!” Timber warns. “The Buck I can’t! Even with these stupid human knees I’ll- *CRASH* Your foot goes through the second step, causing you to fall forward, smacking your face into the crumpling wood. “Oooohhh,” you groan as you push yourself up from the ruined staircase. "I tried to tell you, the stairs needed to be repaired because of termites,” Timber finishes. WARGAME’s Comment 8bitmadness’ Comment “Of course they are! Why the buck not?! What could possibly go right for me tonight?!” you growl and face the Siren descendants. “Those are going to cost even more to repair!” Gloriosa shouts dramatically. “We already don’t have enough for that Rich jerk, and now you’re adding more to the bills!” “Gloriosa, calm down now,” Timber implores as he stands up. “This is all crazy, let’s all chill before we all get even more hurt.” “Timber! He’s got one of the stones! They’re the only thing we got to keep this place from being turned into a stupid spa!” she shouts. “I never liked this plan in the first place sis! Look at you, your nose is broken, and HE thinks you’re going to kill people!” “I Was Trying to Scare Him Off! He came here specifically to get these,” she holds out her wrist where the other colored rocks are. “Or did your showboating not hear that at the lake?!” “OH Here We Go Again!” Timber huffs in annoyance as the siblings bicker. You watch as they have a familial squabble, providing you an ample distraction in which to act. You quickly open the Inventory and look for anything that could solve your problem. Inside, you see a familiar dark blue plush and you pause. After a moment of silence, you smack yourself for always forgetting one of your most useful tools. “Oi! Sea Horse People!” you call out, causing them both to turn to you. “Would You Kindly Take a Nap?!” you say as you hold aloft the Luna Plushie in all of it’s glory. Alright, go night night already you pain in the- “What are you doing?” Timber asks confused. What? “This is supposed to make you fall asleep!” you shout in anguish. “Why would we do that because of a toy? Has everyone gone crazy?” he says flabbergasted. Meanwhile Gloriosa eyes the plushie in interest. “That looks like the horse that was behind you…” she mutters, but you ignore her as you slam the plushie back into the inventory. “UGH! Stupid Magicless World!!!” As you shout that, your hand brushes across your old friend, the Boomstick. You’re probably useless here too, you think in anguish. If only I had a magic battery or something…Wait a minute! “Look, I’ve had enough of this stupidity,” she growls and marches over to you. “Give me the-“ “LOOK A DISTRACTION!!!” you yell out, pointing behind her, and just like in Equestria, it works. Both Gloriosa and Timber look behind them as you yank two items out of your inventory. Lining up your shot, you throw the first item right at her face as she turns back around. “There’s nothing th-*CRASH* AAAAHHHH!!!” she cries out as the bottle of pungent perfume human Diamond Tiara planted on you breaks over her face, dousing her in the liquid. “AAAGGGH! My Eyes!” she cries as the liquid burns her. “Gloriosa!” Timber cries out in concern. With them preoccupied, you turn to your last ditch effort, Please work, please work! You slot the purple stone near the red crystal of your boomstick. After a few heartbeats, it begins to glow with power, causing you to smile. “Oh God, Timber! It Burns!” “It’ll be alright Sis, let’s get you to the sink and-“ “Gloriosa, Timber, thanks for the night here, but I think I’ll be lodging elsewhere,” you say cheekily as you raise the Boom Stick above your head before striking the floor. The familiar glorious impact of power races all around you, as the rotted staircase completely dissolves, the haphazardly stacked furniture is thrown wildly, and the siblings are thrown backwards into the walls of the cabin. After a few seconds of everything returning to gravity, you pant and look to your Boomstick before giving it a kiss for such a good job. Thank you old friend, I’ve missed you so much! You used the stone as a conduit to power it…Bugze do you know what this means? She says excitedly. That we’re not going to die tonight? You guess. Well yes that, but we could possibly have access to all our magical items as long as we hold it. Not to mention whatever it did to me earlier. What are you talking abo- “Gloriosa!!!” Timber Spruce shrieks interrupting your inquiry as you see him cradling the head of the knocked out woman, whose guise is back to normal. “Oh geeze, she’s not dead is she?” you ask in concern as he gives you a hurt look. “No, she’s still breathing, but for God’s sake man, you beat her up badly,” he spits. “It was self defense man! She was gonna mess me up if I didn’t-“ “She was acting tough moron! She’s not a killer!” he snaps. “Well how could I have known that?! Your stories and her powers painted a very vivid picture! Besides, all I needed was One of the Siren Stones, and she flipped out even though she’s got more.” “Ugh!” he groans as he gets a napkin and starts dabbing the crusted blood from her nose as she groans in her sleep. “I’m so sorry sis, I shouldn’t have let it get this far…” While he tends to his knocked out sister, you nervously cough into your fist to get his attention. “OK, so, I’m just gonna go alright? I promise you’ll never see me again. You can keep the other stones, all I need is one and,” “Just take the damn thing!” he growls. “Hell, take all of them if you want, they’ve caused nothing but trouble since she found them!” “Found them?” you ask confused. “You mean these weren’t passed down through your family line?” “What? No!” he says as if it’s obvious. “She found them in some cave and she got these stupid super powers that she couldn’t really control. I started making up an urban legend to…Look, I don’t care who you are, or how you knew about them, just take all seven of them and go!” “Seven?...Wait a minute, weren’t there only three Sirens that got sent through?” “What?” he asks deeply confused. Now that you’re not in mortal danger, you think back to the info Jack had given you. Yeah that’s right, there were only three stones, one for each Siren, and they were all spherical and red. You look back to the stone crystal imbedded in your Boomstick. It’s not a sphere, and it is decidedly purple. Wait, if these things aren’t Siren stones then… Then they’re unconnected magical stones, Selena finishes for you. What?! But how? I thought there wasn’t magic for humans! What gives Roomba? Hey, the only info I have is the old legends and the show, don’t jump down my throat about it. You’re supposed to be the expert Humie! If there’s magic here, then what does it mean? Perhaps your earlier theory still holds water Bugze, Selena theorizes. Huh? Mayhaps, these humans are descended from the Sirens and the magic in their blood allowed them to utilize a magical artifact that no other human could. But then why wouldn’t they know who the Sirens were? You point out. It’s been 1,000 years my Bug, do you know your ancestors that well? There could be thousands of descendants, some with more magical aptitude than others,she instructs. …Huh. Well if that’s the case then I just beat up some random human mare for no reason. Speaking of… “OK, if your sister wasn’t evil and stuff, then what was the whole deal with her becoming Gaea? I still don’t get that part.” “She got it in her head that if she could make a guardian spirit of the woods, then it would keep Filthy Rich from foreclosing on us. Right now that’s a moot point,” he says in melancholy. “Wait, you know Filthy Rich too?” “Know him? That jerk is the only reason we’re in this mess. If he hadn’t been so pushy on sis then…” he then brushes her hair away from her face as her breathing gets more steady. “…She went for a Scooby Doo gambit because of that flankhole, and I ruined it,” you say as you come to the realization. “It doesn’t matter now. The main cabin is busted up, we still haven’t repaired the dock, and-“ *KACHING* The human stops his muttering as he stares at the bag of bits you’ve dropped in front of him, his mouth agape. 245 Bits Removed From the Inventory 45 Bits Remaining “Look, I’m really sorry about beating up your sister and your camp site, I guess what I’m hunting for is completely unrelated,” you say apologetically. He doesn’t answer as he still stares at the bits wide eyed. “And since that was my bad, I’ll just leave that here as payment. That and to get out of debt of that stupid Human Rich who’s nothing like the real version! Apparently gold is really valuable in your world.” Timber nods dumbly, his jaw hanging open. “I’d still like to keep this stone though, kind of need any magical edge I can get in this stupid world. So…Yeah,” you rub the back of your neck. “Tell your sister I’m sorry about her nose OK?” Timber just nods once more, not even looking at you. “…OK, I guess I’ll be going then. Is there any paths out that don’t lead to monkeys?” “F-F-Follow the signs on the paved road,” he stutters, his eyes gleaming. “Right…well…Bye then,” you wave as you walk to the busted open door from your Boomstick. You pause once more in the doorframe and look back. “And look, when I find a way back to Equestria, you guys would be welcome. I don’t know how much Sea Pony you still got in you, but it might be enough to bring your species back.” The boy still doesn’t look your way, and nods without hearing you. “…Thought I’d offer.” You then make your way out into the night and down the road that is 100% monkey free, but it is still dark and you are exhausted. Bugze, you just gave away almost all of our bits. Yeah I know. I had to pay for what I’d done, and besides screw Human Filthy Rich. I understand, but if we are going to be here long term, then we can’t go giving away such large sums. Yeah, yeah I won’t, but this was a special case. The next Siren descendant I find though, I’ll do better. I sincerely doubt that, Sombra heckles. Oh Buck Off. Next Siren Descendant? Selena asks. Yeah, this venture wasn’t a total bust, now we know there are magic humans running around. Because of Timber and Gloriosa, we know that the Sirens did breed with the humans long ago, and if the stones were so important, there’s got to be at least one descendant that held onto them. …Very astute observation. Of course we are making assumptions…but right now that’s the best plan of action we have. Exactly, you smile smugly. But we’ll worry about that later, right now I just got to not pass out on this road and find a stinky death trap bus home to tell B2. As if on cue, your magical phone thingy starts to ring. Fumbling with your sausage digits, you answer it. “Hello?” “Hey clone of mine, how’s it going? Did you find the lake monster yet?” he asks curiously. “…Yes and no…it’s kind of hard to explain. Suffice to say, my job in this world is far from over.” “Oh, bummer dude. But hey, I got some good news on my end, we don’t have to take the bus anymore.” “We don’t?!” you reply excitedly. “Nope, with that cash you gave me I got us a used motorized scooter from that nice Sparkler girl.” An image of Scootaloo’s scooter running on it’s own pops into your head and you raise an eyebrow, but you’d take anything over a bus. “Does…does that mean you can come and get me?” “…What, right now? It’s the middle of the night and I gotta get to work tomorrow, I just wanted to call and tell you the good news” he points out. “Yeah, well I was swarmed by monkeys, fished out a pile of left boots, fought a plant goddess, and I haven’t slept in two days bucker,” you groan. There is silence on the phone for a few seconds before he speaks again. “So, you’ll be at the turn off point for Camp Everfree right?” “Eventually,” you agree as you continue trodding down the road. “Now hurry up already, I’m tired of hijinks today.” EQUESTRIA POV CHANGE: Nightshade “So what hijinks are we getting up to today Grandbuggy?” you ask trepidly as the landscape whizzes by on the train. “Hijinks?” he says with a guffaw. “We ain’t getting up to no hijinks kid, we’re getting into shenanigans. Very subtle difference.” “OK…so what shenanigans are we doing today?” you ask in frustration. “Ya don’t have to sound so sour kiddo. But in answer to your question, we’re headed to the rundown dump of a town where the greediest S.O.B.’s behind dragons reside so that we can start looking for the next artifact.” “Yeah, yeah I get that. Go to Griffonstone to find the lost macguffin of whatever,” you dismiss and point to your tag along, “What I meant was, why is HE here? Won’t he mess things up for us?” “I take offense to that Nina,” Ahuizotl huffs and crosses his arms in the seat next to you. “And besides, I don’t have much else to do until you’re done with my Ring of Scorchero and Steve rebuilds my temple.” “But won’t ponies recognize you from the books and make our job harder?” you point out. “Ha, the majority of ponies think I’m fictional thanks to that A.K. Yearling friend of Daring. Besides, Quick Fix is out of practice on artifact hunting, so I will lend you my aid.” “You just wanted to come to pet the Griffons ya crazy cat fanatic,” Grandbuggy rolls his eyes. “That’s not the only reason! Besides, you’re the one that made me leave my kitties behind!” “Buddy, ya can’t just pet a Griffon…not in public anyway,” Grandbuggy says smugly. “What?! I have no interest in that!” Ahuizotl blushes. “Yeah I know, wouldn’t want to be unfaithful to a certain adventurer would ya?” Grandbuggy trolls. “I have no idea what you’re talking about!” he lies badly. And while the two of them jape at each other back and forth, you look out the window and sigh as the train pulls to a stop at your destination. “Yep, I can see it now. Definitely Shenanigans.” Mangle gives a mechanical screech of agreement. “End of the Line,” the train stallion calls out. “Welcome to Griffonstone.” WHAT DO YOU DO?