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// 19 — The Bare Necessities 
// Story: If Wishes were Ponies . . . . 
// by tkepner 
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Ponies began filing into the Lieutenant Colonel’s office at the guard-post, interrupting Harry’s study of the plans.

The Lieutenant Colonel explained the issue at hoof. “So, pull out your clothes and we’ll see what Harry Potter has to say about them,” she concluded.

Harry immediately noticed that they were all unicorns. It kind of made sense. Pegasi couldn’t fly without their wings, and earth ponies, while exceptionally strong, would still be at a disadvantage. At least unicorns could still cast magic, even if it was weaker than normal, as Twilight had discovered with the few test spells she had cast yesterday.

Two of the ten ponies had business suits that were acceptable. Unfortunately, the scouts who had them were mares and the suits were not appropriate for them. They swapped with two of the stallions. Three of the clothing sets would be good for fancy dress dinner parties in Cambridge, but completely out of place in Little Whinging. Two were evening suits and, again, unsuitable for everyday wear in Little Whinging. One set was beachwear. The final dress was perfect for a casual upper-middle class woman — what Petunia would have considered appropriate for normal house-wife wear in public.

Fortunately, Rarity had brought along the issue of Vogue and Harry was able to quickly point out several acceptable combinations for casual or business casual in Little Whinging and most of London. Or at least, what he thought would be appropriate based on what he had overheard and seen his aunt gossiping about.

With Twilight’s help Rarity retrieved several bolts of cloth and her sewing supplies and they set off to the portal with several additional seamstresses. Any alterations would be made on the other side where she could actually see both the clothes, the pony-person they were to fit, and what she needed to tell the other seamstresses to do to accomplish that.

The area around the portal was even busier, if that was possible, than the path to it and at the Guard Post. There was already a large clearing around the portal tree and unicorns and earth ponies were removing tree stumps while the armoured and working pegasi flew cover overhead and trimmed branches from trees still standing. The beginnings of a wooden platform around the base of the tree was in place, protecting the roots while ensuring that rainwater reached the tree and kept it alive. Obviously, the pony forest experts were unsure of how the tree affected the portal, so they were not going to take any risks to its health.

Soldiers of all three tribes patrolled the perimeter.

Rarity, at first, spent her time on the preparation platform on Equestria’s side of the portal, fashioning sandals for the mares and altering their clothes. This last was especially important for the mares. The concept of breasts being up front and so . . . prominent . . . caught the mares by surprise. Rarity was thrilled at the prospect of fashioning clothes that took advantage of a feature normally completely ignored in pony society.

Harry was rather surprised at how . . . big . . . the variation was in that respect for the mares. Pinkie Pie was remarkably normal while Fluttershy, like Applejack, was surprisingly large. Rainbow Dash was the smallest of the group in that respect, but was by no means what people would call flat.

For the stallions, Rarity made sandals but put covers over them to make them look like shoes. As long as you didn’t actually look at them, they passed inspection. And, compared to the mares, their clothes were simple; a few alterations to make them fit better, remove some of the fancier details, and the four stallions were good to go.

This required a lot of back and forth traffic through the portal, though, because they were unsure if casting magic on the Earth side would attract attention. Fortunately, magic cast on items on the Equestrian side carried through to the Earth side.

One thing that Harry had forgotten to mention to the adults was that human hair colours were very bland by comparison — and Twilight hadn’t known any better. Fortunately, for the unicorn scouts this was not a problem as they used a simple colour change spell to make their hair either brown or black. Twilight took care of Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy. Rainbow Dash refused. Harry interrupted before the argument could get too loud, “Excuse, me? But there are some people who dye their hair various colours. While Rainbow Dash’s is unusual, it isn’t impossible. People will just think she’s rebelling against her parents or something. One person with a weird hair colour is not that unusual, but a whole group will attract a lot of attention.”

For some reason, Pinkie Pie’s spell failed after only a few minutes. They just had to hope it wouldn’t make them that much more noticeable.

Twilight did have a different question for Harry, “Where did those glasses come from?”

“Oh, I’ve always worn glasses. I can only clearly see things when they’re close.”

“But you can see just fine in Equestria!”

“Actually, I can see better in Equestria than I can here with glasses.”

Applejack bumped the alicorn before the new project could completely capture her attention, “Twilight, focus!”

“Oh!” Twilight blushed. “Of course.” She looked at Harry, “But we should have your eyes checked here when we have a chance, to make sure the prescription is accurate. We wouldn’t want to send you to Hogwarts with the wrong glasses. Not to mention getting those broken frames fixed.”

Harry and the fillies spent the rest of the day in the playpark showing the Mane Six and the scouts how to walk and maintain their balance. The scouts, it seemed, had been practicing walking on their hind legs for a year, now, and quickly adapted to their new forms. They found the playpark’s swings, slides, and climbing bars especially interesting and useful in practicing with their new hands and learning to keep their balance. Fortunately, no one noticed that none of the women or girls had ever heard of underwear, except in the vaguest of terms from Harry.

Harry was impressed with how quickly they were all adapting, much faster than the fillies had. Even the Mane Six seemed to cope well. Running without tripping over nothing might be a problem for them for a while, but he didn’t expect them to try to outrun any monsters or villains in this world any time soon. It would take a few more days of practice before they were comfortable with their new forms, but they were not so awkward as to draw undue attention.

The parents and children who saw them thought it was wonderful how those well-dressed parents still took the time to play with their children, pretending to clumsiness to let the kids win at the games they played walking and running around the park. A few parents even came over to compliment them on this, which the respective scouts graciously, but confusedly, accepted. Naturally, they did not correct the perceptions of those parents.

The scouts did mention to those parents that they were new to the area and looking to purchase homes. They asked if the parents knew of any that might be for sale, or whose owners were considering selling, as well as the location of any stores or other businesses that the parents could recommend.

Harry and the fillies were quite exhausted by the time sundown approached and they headed back through the portal. Half the scouts, in teams of two, started exploring Little Whinging and wandering up and down the streets to familiarize themselves with the location. The other half returned to the portal and set up a small perimeter around it to watch for predators or any curious humans who might stumble across them.


۸- ̰ -۸


Harry was amazed the next morning at seeing how much the soldiers had done. Apparently, the construction crews had worked through the night. Most of the trees at the edge of the road were gone and the foundations for the two Everfree Forest walls were well in progress. A crew was installing a tall wooden picket fence between the now-cleared frontage of the Everfree Forest and the paved road they were walking on. The former Guard building now had a sign adorning it, “Portal Check-in,” and a gate beside it and across the path leading to the portal. Harry could see the construction crews laying the foundation for a much larger building to sit astride the path and over the gate.

The Guard at the gate ushered them inside where Lieutenant Colonel Shining Charge once again greeted them. “Good morning, Ladies. I trust you had a good night,” she said, looking as if she certainly had done so. Harry suspected she hadn’t slept at all considering all the work she was supervising. “Prince Blueblood should be here soon with the funds the Princesses have provided for you. My understanding is that you shall be attempting to retain the services of a lawyer to assist us in acquiring the land around the portal?”

“Yes,” said Twilight, “That’s right.”

Harry noticed that behind the Lieutenant Colonel and tacked to the wall was the map from yesterday. It now had various lines in different colours drawn on it. The colours probably indicated the current state of progress on those sections.

A Guard came trotting in. “Sir,” he said, saluting, “Prince Blueblood’s chariot has been sighted and he should be here in a moment.” The Lieutenant Colonel returned the salute and the Guard trotted back out.

Harry discovered a new map as he propped himself against the table. It was of Little Whinging, or at least the streets nearest the portal. The unicorn scouts must have drawn it. He quickly located Wisteria Walk and Magnolia Crescent on either side of Privet Drive. His eyes were drawn to Number Four. The Dursleys were probably still there.

“Is that it?” asked Apple Bloom, looking between him and where he was staring.

“Huh?” he said, looking over at her. Scootaloo was beside her and Sweetie Belle was on his other side.

“Your relatives. The ones you never talk about. Is that where they live?”

“What makes you think that?”

“You’re shivering.”

He hadn’t noticed, but he was. Red-faced in embarrassment at that, he looked back at the map. “Yes,” he whispered. “That one. Number Four.” He waved his hoof vaguely at the map.

The three fillies carefully examined the map, then looked at each other and nodded.

He sighed. “Look, girls, don’t go there. Don’t do anything. They don’t deserve your attention. The worst thing you can do to them is ignore them, so, just, ignore them.” He looked at the small outline of a building with a number four on it. “Yeah. Ignore them.”

His desire for revenge was still there, but if he never saw them again, it would be too soon. And if he did see them? Well, he had learned quite few magical tricks in Equestria. Some, he knew, Twilight would disapprove of him knowing, much less using.

She kept saying he was a good colt. He wasn’t so sure.


۸-ꞈ-۸


The former narrow path leading from the guard-post to the portal was now a level graded track of packed sand easily wide enough for the ten ponies to walk side-by-side down it. There were clear signs that the raw dirt bordering it on both sides was seeded with grass — small green shoots poked up already, earth-pony magic at work “quickening” plant growth.

Construction crews at several places along the path were installing paving stones on the packed sand. The path would be paved by evening, based on the speed at which they were working. Other crews were working on the walls, grounds, and remaining trees. He could also see the bunkers and trenches they were digging for concealed attack positions bordering the path.

Harry could tell that by the time they were finished the entire area between the walls would look like a carefully groomed park, without a sign that anypony on the path would be under constant surveillance. Its history as a part of the dangerous wild Everfree Forest would be just that, history. Instead, it would have a completely different danger — but only to foes of Equestria.

A series of stakes driven into the ground across the path delineated the foundations for the walls separating the immediate portal area from the rest of the construction. There was a second checkpoint there. Harry could see that the ground around the portal had been contoured so that the tree was centred in a wide, raised area at least two hundred paces, about thirty celestials, in diameter. Grass already poked up on it.

A four-pony wide wooden deck with a waist-high railing spiralled once around the portal. Anypony approaching the portal had to walk completely around the tree, making their presence obvious to the Guards watching it. Similarly, anyone leaving would be clearly visible to all the Guards. Or would immediately attract their attention by repeatedly leaping or flying over the railing. Moreover, the wood decking would make sneaking impossible for earth-ponies and most unicorns by amplifying the noise of their hoof-steps. Flying pegasi would give themselves away with their wing noise.

The trees in the area around the portal had been considerably thinned to improve the Guards’ lines of sight. Enough remained to project the ambience of a park instead of a killing field — the Guard’s bunkers would be unnoticeable as slight ripples and rock outcroppings. At regular intervals, except where interrupted by still-standing trees, were very high poles as tall as the trees themselves. Harry wondered what they were for.

Construction ponies were still working on the unfinished spiralling deck leading to the portal.

To one side of the tree at the top of the spiral was a wooden preparation platform that gave the group room to stop and loosely drape their dresses and other clothes about themselves. Then, one at a time, the guards stepped through, followed by the Mane Six, Harry, and finally the fillies.

The other side of the portal was a surprise. Harry stumbled slightly at the sudden change in his balance, and grabbed the handrail that was right there. He kept walking, running his hand along the rail more for reassurance than actual support, as he looked around. He was in a large tent. On this side, too, a wooden deck to protect the tree’s roots had been built. In front of him were the mares, now women, arranging their clothes to a better fit, some in highly inappropriate manners considering the stallions, men, standing around them adjusting their clothes for a better fit.

Some of the women were removing everything and starting over, not just adjusting the belts and shoulder straps. All of the guards were removing the straps from the large soft-cases they had worn as saddlebags in Equestria’s side of the portal. They would now carry them by hand. By design, they looked like standard briefcases but with softer corners.

Originally, the Mane Six had wanted to bring their formal saddlebags. Harry had been able to convince them that most adults in England did not wear rucksacks, and instead they carried briefcases. Harry knew there would be more than a little grumbling over having to use their hands for such a mundane chore. Especially with Applejack carrying the two briefcases that held the gold and gems. Those things were heavy! Not that Applejack seemed to notice.

Harry moved off the short path and pulled his trousers up to fit properly, tucking his shirttail into place. He’d carried his mostly empty rucksack in his mouth. He spit out the strap and slung it over his shoulder. He watched the fillies come through the portal. They were quite used to walking erect now and the transition only caused them a short stumble, just as it had Harry, and none of them fell. They had little to change with their sundresses except to shake their shoulders and make sure to place the straps in positions that were more comfortable.

Prince Blueblood, surprising Harry, seemed to be coping well. Based on what little he had overheard, Blueblood was a bit of a blighter — rude, insufferable, insulting, and obnoxious were only some of the things Harry had overheard the mares call him over the last year. The unicorn had a bored and exasperated expression as Rarity fussed over him — as if she were at fault that the clothes didn’t perfectly fit after coming through the portal.

Because he was to be the Ambassador, he had the fanciest of the clothes — a full suit made of the finest cloth available in Equestria. The mares’ dresses were almost as formal. Their guards were neatly dressed, but more casual.

The problem came when he tried to walk. It wasn’t that he had any great difficulty; it was just that he walked as if something was wrong with his legs — stiff and slightly uncoordinated, just like the scouts and the Mane Six had started out yesterday. It detracted from the dignified image they wanted him to project. Unfortunately, they didn’t have seven or eight hours to run him through the drills the scouts and mares had used to acclimate themselves to their new mode of walking.

Harry thought a moment. “Twilight?” he said. “I think Prince Blueblood needs a cane. It’ll help him walk and look more dignified.”

“A cane?”

“Yeah. A piece of wood that reaches just above his waist. There’s a knob or handle on top that he holds and he uses it to keep his balance and to lean on if he needs the support.”

At Twilight’s request, a scout brought in a branch. With a little trial and error, and several trips through the portal to use her magic, Twilight changed it to end up with a smooth, polished piece of wood with an angled handle at the top. The tip had a small piece of rubber to provide traction on slick surfaces. Blueblood had insisted she decorate the handle with an image of Celestia on one side and Luna on the other.

Prince Blueblood quickly adapted to the cane. “Why this wasn’t arranged before-hoof, I don’t know,” he glared at Twilight as if it were her fault. When she looked down flushing slightly, he surreptitiously winked at Harry and nodded.

Outside the tent was another shock. While all the trees around the portal remained, a certain amount of trimming had taken place, as well as the ground contoured. It all looked natural, thanks to the skills of the earth-ponies, but was radically changed from what Harry and the fillies had come to know. The Guards had carefully trimmed the surrounding trees to allow more light to reach the ground. The additional light explained the presence of the soft carpet of grass that had replaced the forest debris normally scattered around the portal tree.

Staring around carefully as he waited for everypony else to get ready, he spotted what could only be a defensive position a few yards away. Two trees were close together and a large tree had apparently “fallen” so that it formed a barrier at an angle through the trees at about waist high. It ran over fifty feet behind the tent. Below the trunk was a mound of dirt filling the gap between it and the forest floor.

It was only when a Guard moved that Harry realized he was leaning against the trunk. When Harry looked away and then back, he found it quite difficult to find the Guard again, even though he knew where he was. He thought chameleon-magic must be in use. As he carefully looked around, he could see that “fallen” trees and fortuitous placements of large mounds blocked off access to the other side of the tree-portal. The only access to the portal was from the tent-side, and that was restricted to one direction.

A scout led the group to the nearby roadway separating Little Whinging from the playpark and woods. Considering most parents and children would be at the playpark and not watching the road, people were less likely to notice the group of Equestrians exiting the woods there.

Their trip to Little Whinging’s city centre was unremarkable. While they were more formally dressed than the residents were, the mid-morning meant most people were at work or off running errands. And because most unicorns, like earth-ponies, walked virtually everywhere they went, their walk was brisk and easy. The walk also allowed Prince Blueblood to adjust a bit to his cane.

They did have to drag Twilight away from her analysis of the tarmac that was a modern road instead of the cobblestones used in Equestria. Harry finally stopped the flood of questions on where the material came from, how it was treated, how they managed to make it so smooth, and so forth, by saying, “Twilight! There are entire books on the subject!” The rest of the walk was quiet except for occasional exclamations at the cars and lorries they saw, which all the Equestrians watched carefully whenever one went by. Harry was sure their intent study of each made the drivers a bit uncomfortable.

City centre was a bit of a lark, consisting of a single street of a dozen or so businesses, much like Ponyville. There was a Waitrose supermarket and some smaller shops, several restaurants, banks, charity shops, a post office, a number of estate agents, solicitors, betting shops, an insurance broker, and two public houses. The architecture was completely different from what the Equestrians were used to, not to mention the constant flow of lorries and cars. The zebra crossing was another innovation to them — the traffic in Canterlot and the other cities wasn’t zooming along at high-speed as the cars and lorries seemed to be doing — that is, the normal limited in-town cruising speeds for cars and lorries was the equivalent of a full-fledged run by most ponies.

It took a concerted effort by Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity to keep both Twilight and Pinkie Pie out of the various shops they passed. Blueblood rolled his eyes, but kept quiet. He was above that sort of behaviour. His job was to be aristocratic. He could do that much more easily than Twilight, who acted more like the over-enthusiastic bookworm than the near-goddess alicorn that she was.

The first solicitor they found specialized in personal injuries and accidents, so they quickly left. The second specialized in employment law and wills. The third they found by accident. Harry happened to glance up a side street as they walked along High Street looking for the next solicitor’s sign. The sign he saw read “Conveyancing Services, Yueshi & Fuxiao, Solicitors.” Which sounded like exactly what they wanted.


۸- ̬ -۸