Report by Equestria News Network
Sunday, 23 February 2014
As everypony knows, a couple years ago a report in the school newspaper in Ponyville depicted Princess Celestia in a negative light but she isn't the only royal who may not be as elegant as most ponies would think. A while back in Ponyville, the same fillies that depicted our beloved Princess Celestia in a negative light and were punished in a just yet not harsh way are at it again. They have brought another princess into the light, Princess Twilight
While many only saw the fillies that those three, known as the Cutie Mark Crusaders, go to school with had got plenty of photos of the event, we were able to obtain exclusive video from The Hay Burger that documents proof that can not be denied that our newest princess is definitely uncouth and perhaps even not fit to rule.
Throughout Equestria's history, our princesses have always conducted themselves in a way that makes them appear regal and on a different level than the rest of us but right here, Princess Twilight is behaving as though she is still a commoner and while we can not be sure, we are quite certain that our beloved Royal Pony Sisters will not be thrilled with it. While we are uncertain as to whether or not she will be punished, we do know that this will make her reputation even worse than it already is.
We were able to interview Princess Celestia over the matter and here is what she said,
"Princess Celestia, I am not sure if you have seen it or not but there is video evidence that Princess Twilight was stuffing her face at The Hay Burger in Ponyville. On the video, she is simply burying her face in her food and her face is covered in sauce. What is your opinion of this?"
"As you know, the royalty here in Equestria has always conducted itself in a manner that will not cause our subjects to look down upon us or make us look like we are on the same level with them or in some instances, worse. When it comes to Twilight, I am not thrilled but I am not surprised either. She always has been a step below the rest of us and this is proof that she is even lower than a beggar on a street corner in Manehattan."
"It is obvious that you are not thrilled with her actions here. What would the normal punishment be for such conduct by a princess and do you plan on executing the normal punishment?"
"The normal punishment for an princess who was ascended would be removing her wings, stripping her of her title and serving ten years in the dungeon for embarrassing the country. Here is the thing though, Twilight despises Ponyville, she is constantly making the lives of the acquaintances she should have befriended horrible, she is always wanting to sexually assault one of them and since I don't like her acquaintances that much, I plan on allowing her to stay in Ponyville and continue to make everypony miserable."
"Wow, that is harsh your Majesty."
"I know it is but I do have a feeling that their country lifestyle may have rubbed off on her. I have a feeling that had I never sent her down there that she may never have become uncouth like this, I have a feeling that she may have remained more refined and behaved in a more respectful manner if she still lived here and was firmly under my wings."
"Regarding that, why did you send her down there to start with?"
"I sent her down there because I could sense that she wanted to ultimately learn enough to ascend herself and try to overthrow me, well that and she needed to set up a proper ceremony that would glorify me in a way that I deserve."
"I see. Well that is all the time we have for now your Majesty. You have a good rest of your day and may your eternity be filled with nothing but pleasant events, prosperity and naturally, plenty of respectful and subservient students."
"You have a good day as well."
Now we also tried to get a comment from Princess Twilight but she has holed herself up in The Ponyville Day Spa and refuses to comment on the issue. If we can eventually get a comment from her, we will bring it to you.
This is all the time we have to cover this issue. After the commercial break, the sports report.