The Uncle
By Alaborn
Standard disclaimer: This is a not for profit fan work. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is copyright Hasbro, Inc. I make no claim to any copyrighted material mentioned herein.
Chapter 2: Quiet Family Life
“It’s so peaceful,” Darlene said.
Evan nodded. They had only seen two ponies out and about. It looked like most ponies were either asleep, or inside with their families. Judging from the glow coming from the windows of the nearby residences, it was about fifty-fifty.
The directions Evan received from his brother were easy to follow, and soon his sensitive nose picked up the fragrance of roses. The scent grew in strength until it overpowered the smell of the earth and grass.
“Good thing we’re here. Rose Aurora’s getting fussy,” Darlene said.
Sure enough, the filly was squirming, little hooves moving back and forth, muzzle wrinkled in discomfort. She wasn’t crying, but she looked just about ready to cry.
Another shift from the filly, and an odor stronger than that of roses assaulted his nostrils. “Looks like she needs a diaper change,” he said.
“Then let’s get inside,” Darlene said. “Do you have the key?”
Evan realized he didn’t. But he put his hoof on the doorknob, briefly wondering why ponies had doorknobs, and twisted. “It’s open,” he announced.
Having visited the home on his last trip to Equestria, it looked familiar. It was the same small and simple farmhouse. The main difference was the large number of new pictures hung on the wall, mostly of the two foals.
“Go to your room,” Evan told Stonehoof.
“Okay,” the colt said before running off.
“I see the changing table,” Darlene said, pointing to another room.
Evan instinctively reached for a light switch before thinking the house wouldn’t have one. But his hoof touched some kind of button, and the room was illuminated by a lamp on a corner table. It worked like a light bulb, but the sensations in his feathers told him it was magic.
Regardless of the cause, it was nice to be able to see.
The bedroom was filled with wood furniture, all old and worn, but still sturdy and functional. The pieces looked handcrafted, not at all like the mass-produced furniture in his own apartment.
“Can you help me with this?” Darlene said.
Evan saw she was struggling with the baby carrier, and after looking at it, Evan wished he had paid more attention when Jason had hooked it up. There were an abundance of straps and buckles, all big enough to be manipulated by hoof and mouth. Now, he just had to figure out how to do it.
Five minutes and several failed attempts later, Evan was holding Rose Aurora, and Darlene was pulling herself free from the remaining straps. The filly was now awake and crying.
“Up you go,” Evan said.
He placed the squirming filly on the changing table. “Uh....”
“What?” Darlene said.
“Where’s the diaper?”
At first glance, the shiny material on the garment covering the filly looked like the diapers Evan knew. But the shape was all wrong. Where were the folds?
Darlene poked at the garment, putting a hoof under the waistband and lifting. “Looks like the diaper is under this.”
“Oh,” Evan said.
He now tried to remove this outer layer. He had trouble grabbing the material, which looked like rubber, with his hooves, so he had to pull down from the waistband.
A squeal from Rose Aurora reminded him that her tail needed to be threaded out of the tail hole first. But after that was done, the garment came off easily, revealing the actual diaper. He looked at it again. “Is that a cloth diaper?”
“I think it is,” Darlene said. “I see what look like diapers hanging on the clothesline outside.”
Cloth diapers made what should have been a simple matter harder. And then came the realization that he did not currently possess hands. “Now what?” he asked.
“I guess we start with that? It looks like a pin,” Darlene said.
Either ponies didn’t have safety pins, or more likely they didn’t work well for ponies who weren’t unicorns. This pin was a large straight pin, with a large round bead on either end. Evan was able to see that one bead was removable, serving to cover the pointy end.
Using his mouth, he was able to easily remove the cap, and then the pin. The pinned fabric unrolled; there was quite a bit of extra fabric.
“Why all this wasted fabric?” Darlene asked.
“I have no idea,” Evan said. Then he facehoofed. “I think I figured it out. And it’s not a pleasant thought.”
“What?”
“Watch.”
Evan took the end of the fabric strip in his mouth and pulled. Trying not to breathe, he pulled, undoing the diaper.
“I’ve got her,” Darlene said, picking up the filly.
Evan was happy to find there were moist baby wipes, or something like them, in Equestria. He was even happier to see that they were very thick. They had a fragrance of roses, which actually tasted kind of good when he held them in his mouth.
The next part, cleaning the filly, he did as quickly as possible.
Darlene had found a clean diaper, and placed it on the changing table. She then took a container of baby powder in her mouth, and applied it to the filly. It took a few tries, but Evan was eventually able to get the clean diaper on Rose Aurora. Putting her rubber pants back on was a lot harder than taking them off.
Once it was all done, the filly settled down. Evan placed her gently in the crib. Seeing a pacifier there, he took it and offered it to Rose Aurora. She took it, sucking contentedly.
“She’s so precious,” Darlene said.
“They all are. At least while they’re sleeping,” Evan said. “Now, what do we do with the dirty diaper?”
“I remember my grandmother talking about using cloth diapers,” Darlene said. “She washed them in the washing machine, I think twice, but first they were cleaned in the toilet.”
“That makes sense,” Evan said.
Again, he was grateful for those extra-long strips that meant he could hold onto the diaper far away from the toilet.
The hamper in the bathroom, filled with soiled diapers, indicated they had figured it out correctly.
“I’m glad we’re done with that diaper,” Darlene said.
“Speaking of which, there’s another child that needs a diaper.”
Over in Stonehoof’s room, they found the colt, curled up under a blanket on his child-sized bed. “Stonehoof, do you have your diaper?” Evan said quietly.
“Stonehoof sleeping,” the colt said unconvincingly.
“Your father said you have to wear a diaper to bed. Now come on.”
Stonehoof continued to feign sleep, so Evan had to grab him and take him to the changing table. And because he wasn’t moving, putting his diaper on was easy,
“Is there anything else we need to do?” Evan asked.
“Brush his teeth? Do ponies brush their teeth?” Darlene said.
“Did you brush your teeth?” Evan said to Stonehoof.
“Uh-huh!” the colt said. Given that his tongue was still stained from the lollipop he had just consumed, it was obvious he was lying.
“You need to brush your teeth,” Evan said.
“Daddy brushes teeth,” Stonehoof replied.
“Well then, tonight, your favorite uncle will brush your teeth.”
Next, Evan found the bathroom. Amazingly, he spotted the toothbrushes right away, neatly arranged in a rack. The handles were painted wood and extremely wide; he had no idea what the bristles were made from. It didn’t look like plastic. The toothbrush with the smaller head was probably Stonehoof’s; it was also painted gray, matching the colt’s coat.
A small jar under the sink, decorated only with a blue and white swirl, was stored near the toothbrushes. Given the strong smell of peppermint, it was probably the toothpaste.
“Are there any extra toothbrushes? We sort of didn’t bring them,” Darlene called from the other room.
“Let me check,” Evan said.
There was a small linen closet connected to the bathroom, and he found some extra toothbrushes, with unpainted handles, along with towels and plenty of other brushes, the kind used to scrub one’s coat.
Evan wondered how Darlene would react to the idea that ponies normally bathed together.
After some fumbling with trying to open a jar with hooves and mouth, Evan had a toothbrush with toothpaste.
Stonehoof was waiting on his bed for Evan. When Evan entered the room, he lay back on the bed, opening his mouth wide.
Evan hopped on the bed. While he had figured out that the broad handle meant that ponies held their toothbrushes in their pasterns, he still had to figure out how to sit to best be able to brush Stonehoof’s teeth. He eventually figured out sitting on his hind legs like a dog, with one forehoof cradling the colt’s head and the other using the toothbrush.
Evan recalled vague memories of his own father brushing his teeth when he was a toddler. It was a nice feeling.
“Gah,” Stonehoof gurgled.
Evan looked down, and noticed he had been brushing Stonehoof’s teeth for so long, the poor colt’s mouth was completely full of foam. He took out the toothbrush and patted the colt, who jumped off the bed and ran for the bathroom.
“Unca!” Stonehoof called. “Water!”
Evan hurried to the bathroom. Stonehoof was perched on a footstool, able to reach the sink, but not the cup resting by the sink.
Evan looked at the round cup and his flat hoof. He shrugged, and tried to pick it up. His hoof curled around the cup, much more than it should be able to do. So he had no problem helping Stonehoof drink his water. He then took a towel and wiped the colt’s face clean.
“It’s bedtime, Stonehoof,” Evan said.
“Okay, Unca.” And remarkably, Stonehoof headed to bed without protest.
“You handled that well,” Darlene said to Evan.
“Of course! I’m his favorite uncle!”
“You mean his only uncle?”
“Actually, I think he has lots of aunts and uncles on his mother’s side. There were a lot of ponies at the wedding,” Evan said.
Evan and Darlene cleaned up and brushed their teeth, the two transformed humans helping each other with their unfamiliar bodies. Then they headed to the bedroom.
“I’m beat,” Darlene said.
“So am I. This really takes a lot out of you,” Evan replied.
“What? Taking care of kids, or being a pony?”
“Yes,” Evan stated.
They turned off the light, and slipped into bed, enjoying the blissful silence.
“WAAAAH!” Rose Aurora cried, mere seconds later.
Evan crawled out of bed and walked to the crib. “What’s wrong? Diaper?” He sniffed; that wasn’t it. “Hungry?”
Rose Aurora just kept crying.
Evan hoped it was hunger. He knew how to deal with that, unlike magic surges and whatever other ailments afflicted baby unicorns.
He picked up the crying filly, cradling her against his body, and did the awkward three-legged walk to the kitchen. He found what had to be the refrigerator, and opened it. Just like Jason had said, there were two bottles of milk prepared. At least baby bottles were the same; the shape of the rubber nipples was familiar.
He fumbled holding both the bottle and Rose Aurora, so Evan realized he needed to sit down.
“Okay, here you go.”
Once the bottle was in place, Rose Aurora started suckling. She got about two-thirds of the way through the bottle before she started spitting out the nipple. She was full. He put the rest of the bottle back into the refrigerator.
Now, Rose Aurora was squirming. “Do ponies need to be burped?” he wondered.
He sat back down, put the filly over his shoulder, and tried to pat her on the back, as soft as hooves would allow. Finally, Rose Aurora burped. It was an impressive display. Evan felt a slimy wetness in his coat and wing, and his nose picked up the foul smell.
A trip to the bathroom later, and Evan was mostly cleaned up. Finally, he could set Rose Aurora to sleep for the night. He placed her gently in the crib; the filly was already asleep, or close to it.
At last, Evan could turn in for the night. He crawled into bed, pulling the thin blanket over him. The bed was comfortable, but his pony body felt off, distracting him from sleep.
Darlene had it worse. She was tossing and turning constantly.
“What’s wrong? Is it how your body feels?” Evan whispered to her.
“It’s not that. It’s too quiet!” she replied.
Evan thought back to his own apartment. His neighbors were often noisy, but even when they were asleep, there was the distant roar of traffic, the hum of the streetlights, even the whining of the refrigerator motor that he never seemed to notice until it turned off. And now they were all gone. There wasn’t even the sound of a ticking clock.
All Evan was hearing was the breathing of the ponies in the room. And focusing on that certainly didn’t help matters.
“It’s going to be a long night,” he said to himself.
Friday, September 1, 2023
Ponyville, Equestria
Sleep must have come at some point, because the next think Evan Sedmak knew, it was morning. It felt later than he normally rose, though the strange working of the Equestrian sun meant that how light it was outside was no help in determining what time it was.
Evan looked over at the crib; Rose Aurora was still asleep. He crept out of bed, and checked Stonehoof’s room. The colt was also still asleep, even though he had somehow managed to kick all the blankets and pillows off his bed during the night.
When he returned to the master bedroom, Darlene was stirring, halfway between sleep and wakefulness. Evan gently nudged her awake.
“Mmm... wha?” she muttered.
“It’s morning. We should get ready before the kids wake up.”
Darlene blinked her eyes sleepily. She went to rub them, but forgot about her new body. “Ow” she said as she smacked her face with a hoof.
“Be careful. Remember, you’re in Equestria now.”
Darlene blinked and stared at her hooves. She then tried to get out of bed, but all she accomplished was wrapping herself in the covers.
“Try not to think about it,” Evan suggested.
“How am I supposed to not think about it?” Darlene said.
“Shhh. The baby’s still asleep. Let me help you.”
With Evan’s help, Darlene freed herself from the covers and got out of bed safely. After a few steps, she started to get a feel for her pony body again.
“Let’s hit the showers,” Evan said.
“I’m going first,” Darlene said.
“Actually, it will be a lot faster if we shower together,” Evan said.
Darlene gave him a dirty look.
“I don’t mean like that! Look, it’s just that, without hands, it’s a lot easier when you have help.”
“I think I can figure it out,” Darlene said.
Evan shrugged. “Fine, but if you change your mind, just call.”
Darlene went into the bathroom and closed the door. Evan took a seat outside the door, sitting in that weird pony way that resembled a dog sitting.
It took ten minutes for Darlene to ask for help. And when he went in, Evan saw water all over the floor, two dropped brushes, and one upset bat pony covered in shampoo.
“How do these ponies clean themselves?” Darlene said.
“I didn’t figure it all out, but I know it’s faster with help. Here,” he said, and picked up a brush in his mouth.
“You hold it in your mouth?” Darlene said.
“I tried it with my hoof, but the grip isn’t strong,” Evan mumbled around the brush’s handle. “Is that what you did?”
“Yeah,” Darlene admitted.
“So this works better,” Evan said. He started scrubbing Darlene’s coat, building up a thick lather.
“That feels good,” Darlene said.
“It does.”
After a moment, Darlene said, “Just get in the tub.”
“What? I thought you didn’t want to....”
“Right now, I feel like a child being bathed by her parents,” Darlene said. She sniffed. “Besides, you need a shower, too.”
Working together, the two humans turned ponies got clean. The one thing they couldn’t handle was their wings. Jason didn’t appear to have any of the brushes used by pegasi, and neither had any idea what do to with Darlene’s batlike wings.
After the shower, they toweled off, brushed their manes, and were finally free to face the day.
“Just look at the view,” Darlene said. Outside the window, they got a glorious view of Rose’s rose gardens.
“It’s so quiet and peaceful,” Evan said.
“UNCA!”
“For as long as that lasted.”
Evan and Darlene went to Stonehoof’s room. The colt was lying on his back and squirming.
“What is it?” Evan asked.
“Diaper!” he said.
Evan picked up the colt and took him to the changing table. Taking off the diaper was a lot easier than putting it on, and Evan was glad to find that Stonehoof remained dry all night.
“Down!” the colt said.
Evan carefully lowered Stonehoof to the ground, and the colt shot off toward the bathroom. A minute later, they heard a flush.
“I’m glad he can take care of that,” Darlene said.
“We’re not going to be so lucky with Rose Aurora,” Evan said.
Sure enough, the filly had a wet diaper. Still not used to handling diapers with hooves, it took Evan a while to finish.
Once Rose Aurora was settled back in her crib, Evan headed to the kitchen, where Stonehoof was tugging on Darlene’s leg and repeatedly saying “Oatmeal!”
“What’s wrong?”
“Stonehoof wants oatmeal,” she said.
Evan noticed she was standing next to a burlap sack. “Is that the oats?”
“Yeah, but what am I supposed to do with that?” Darlene replied, pointing to the stove.
The pony stove looked something like an old potbelly stove. The bin of wood and kindling next between it and the oven suggested that both were wood-fired. There certainly was no button to turn on the stove.
“Uh...” Evan said.
“Well, you’re the one who wanted to go camping,” Darlene mentioned.
“I know how much wood I need for a campfire. I don’t know how to use this stove!” Evan said.
As Evan was looking around the kitchen, noticing how much looked unfamiliar, he spied something that looked normal. On the counter, tucked into the corner of the room, was what appeared to be a waffle iron.
He opened it up. It was a waffle iron. It had a clear crystal about the size and shape of the power indicator on his own waffle iron. He touched it with a hoof, and it started to glow. He soon felt heat radiating from the metal surfaces.
“I think I can use this to make waffles,” Evan said.
“Would you like waffles?” Darlene said to Stonehoof.
“Waffles waffles waffles waffles waffles!” the colt chanted.
“I guess that’s a yes.”
Jason and Rose’s kitchen was well stocked for cooking from scratch, probably because they did cook from scratch. Darlene gathered the dry ingredients while Evan got the eggs and the milk from the refrigerator. He was reminded about last night, and how he couldn’t hear it running. Curious, he opened the bottom portion, where the freezer would be back home, and he found only a huge block of ice.
“This isn’t a refrigerator. It’s an icebox. A real icebox!” he said.
“What? How do ponies live like this?” Darlene said.
“I’ve never really talked to Jason about it. But he’s talked about it a little in his books,” Evan said. “Besides, he gets magic out of the deal.”
“Is that what makes the waffle iron work?”
“I guess.”
Twenty minutes later, the family was sitting down at the kitchen table, plates of waffles at the ready. Evan sat down next to Stonehoof, cutting the colt’s food.
Shortly thereafter, breakfast was interrupted by a knock at the door.
“I’ll get it,” Evan volunteered.
Evan opened the front door, revealing two mares. One was unfamiliar to Evan, a white-coated earth pony with a wavy yellow mane and a cutie mark of wildflowers. The other, however, was a pegasus with a light blue coat and two-toned mane of darker blue, a pegasus that Evan was familiar with. Very familiar with....
April Showers stepped forward and nuzzled Evan. “I heard you might be here,” she said.
“Uh, yeah. That’s why you came?”
“I came to give the roses some rain and keep my sister company as she tended to them. Seeing you was just a bonus.” She reached out with a wing and traced the tip of a feather down Evan’s face.
“And who is this?” Darlene said.
Evan looked back and saw his girlfriend, standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room. She was scowling in a familiar way; if she were still human, she would have had her arms crossed over her chest.
“Hey, Darlene. This is April Showers. She was Rose’s mare of honor at the wedding.”
“Well, nice to meet you. I’m Darlene Jacobson, Evan’s girlfriend.”
Evan definitely noticed Darlene emphasize that last word.
“This is my little sister, May Flowers,” April Showers said. “She’s taking care of Rose’s flowers while she’s recovering. I’ll be giving them a light shower when she’s done. But until then, may I keep you company?”
“Sure. We’re having breakfast,” Evan said.
April Showers sniffed the air. “Waffles?”
“That’s right.”
“Fancy!”
“Well, it was all we could figure out how to work,” Evan admitted.
April Showers followed the couple into the kitchen. Stonehoof looked up from his waffles. “Auntie!” he shouted.
“Hey, kiddo,” April Showers replied, rubbing his head with a wing. She then shook her wing. “You got syrup everywhere!”
Sure enough, in the minute he had been left alone, Stonehoof somehow managed to get syrup on his face, in his mane, and all over his hooves.
“I got it,” Evan said, grabbing a washcloth and wetting it in the sink.
“There’s some batter left. Do you want a waffle?” Darlene asked.
“Sure,” April Showers said.
Before Darlene could act, they were interrupted by Rose Aurora crying. “Sorry, I’ll see what she needs,” Darlene said.
“I can make the waffle,” April Showers offered.
After a while, Stonehoof was cleaned up, and Rose Aurora was settled in Darlene’s forelegs, happily sucking on a bottle. April Showers was eating. In the relative quiet, Evan’s attention was drawn to the window. The kitchen had a large window overlooking the rose bushes, and Evan could see May Flowers tending to the roses.
It was a remarkable sight to see. The roses all seemed to pull to her as she walked by them. Buds opened before his eyes, and the flowers looked brighter. Rose actually did very little physically, only occasionally pruning a bush with the clippers in her mouth, but the effect of her earth pony magic was clear.
“Looks like she’s about done,” April Showers said. She got up and prepared a waffle, using the last of the batter.
April Showers was setting a plate for May Flowers as the earth pony entered the house. She had a faint aroma of roses about her, but not enough to cover up the scent of her hard labor. “The garden’s ready for you, sis,” she said.
April Showers turned to Evan and Darlene. “Do you want to watch weather magic at work? I’ll try to keep you dry,” she said.
“Actually, I would,” Evan said.
“Pass. I don’t like getting caught in the rain, especially when I’m wearing this coat of hair,” Darlene said. “I’ll watch the kids.”
Evan followed April Showers out the back door. “What are you going to do?” he said.
“It’s best just to watch,” she replied.
April Showers took flight, gaining altitude as she turned in gentle figure eights. It was graceful and beautiful, and Evan was pretty sure she was showing off for him. She then shot off for the edge of town. Evan had no trouble tracking her with his keen pegasus eyes. She found a group of clouds, flew into it, and came out clutching a small gray cloud.
Reading that pegasi move clouds didn’t prepare Evan for seeing it happen. Even watching videos of it couldn’t compare to seeing it with his own eyes.
April Showers placed the small cloud over Rose’s garden, and then flew in circles around it, causing the cloud to flatten and spread. Evan flew up to get a better look, but April Showers intercepted him. “You want to stay back until the rain starts. Bad things can happen if somepony untrained in weather magic gets too close to a charged storm cloud.”
“Okay,” Evan said, hovering at a distance.
After checking her work, making sure the cloud was spread thin, April Showers looked away, arched her back, and bucked the clouds. Rain started falling immediately, about as gentle a rain as Evan could imagine.
April Showers flew and alighted on the cloud. “It’s safe now,” she said. “At least as long as the rain lasts.”
Evan flew over and sat next to her. “What happens then?”
“When the rain is done, the cloud is gone, and there’s nothing left to sit on.”
“Makes sense,” Evan said.
April Showers leaned into Evan. She reached out her wing to touch Evan’s, but he pulled it back.
“April Showers, I have a girlfriend now,” Evan said.
“That shouldn’t stop you from having a little fun. I know you’re enough stallion to....”
Evan raised a hoof. “Let me stop you there,” he said. “I know you know that most humans prefer monogamous relationships, and even if Darlene were different, I can tell she’s not comfortable in her pony body. We’re going to leave soon, anyway.”
“That’s too bad,” April Showers said. “So, your marefriend’s a batpony? She has cute ears.”
“April....”
“Sorry.”
“My girlfriend’s a human,” Evan started, “but since she’s here, I want her to experience the good parts of being a pegasus, like flying and sitting on clouds.”
“I can help with that,” April Showers offered.
“What?”
“I do volunteer at flight camp,” she said.
“I don’t know,” Evan said.
“Look, I promise to keep my wings to myself,” April Showers said. “I’m free today and have nothing planned. Let me help her fly, and help both of you get used to living in Equestria when you’re not a guest of the princess.”
Evan was ready to say no, but then he remembered staring at an Equestrian stove, with no idea how it was supposed to work. “I know we need the help. I just hope Darlene will agree.”