//------------------------------// // Koan 14: The Fountain // Story: The Sound of One Hoof Clopping // by Trick Question //------------------------------// Sheriff Silverstar nosed aside the soft curtain and stepped halfway into the dimly-lit velvet tent. Inside, a large crystal ball sat on a pedestal in the middle of a small, cloth-covered table. Behind the table sat a young earth pony mare, her mane and tail so shockingly magenta they almost seemed to glow in the dim lighting. She wore an ostentatious but cheap-looking turban inset with plastic gems. "Hello in there?" said the Sheriff, removing his hat politely. His mustache hid most of his mouth from view, which muted his expression, providing him with a natural poker-face. The mysterious mare's eyes lit up at the sight of her new guest. "Oh! Hello there, Sheriff! Er, I mean," she stopped herself, coughing, and lowered her high-pitched voice a register. "Hello Sheriff Silverstar. I've been... expecting you. Welcome to my tent of mystery," she intoned in a spooky voice. Acting was fun, Pinkie thought! She grinned in a wide and not-so-mysterious manner. The Sheriff seemed surprised at the mention of his name, but his badge and matching cutie mark were enough to give his name away to a lucky guess. Pinkie could tell he didn't recognize her from when they'd met in Appleloosa. She figured it must be the lighting, or maybe because she wasn't wearing a dancing-filly dress with fishnet stockings this time. Then again, she was wearing fishnets under her Mystical Robe of Kismet, she thought to herself. Pinkie had named her robe just in case anypony asked about it, which they never did. She figured that these important little touches were something a pony should do to be a successful medium, like removing the price tag from her turban. Why do they call it a "medium", anyhow? She'd always thought of herself as more of a large, and... Oops! The sheriff was already talking. I should listen, she thought. "…which means you must be this 'Madame Pinkie Pie'. I can see that what they all say about you, incredible though it sounds, must actually be true!" the Sheriff finished, his voice filled with awe. While Pinkie was zoned out, he had trotted the rest of the way into the tent and up to her table. He glanced around at the many strange devices hanging from the side supports of her tent. Madame Pinkie's tools of the trade appeared to include sticks of incense, strange crystals, a rubber ball labeled "for emergencies", a few tufts of hay, strange musical instruments, black eye-patches, and… was that a rubber chicken? Additionally, there seemed to be a flowerpot dangling precariously by a few thin strands of silk, suspended right there in front of the entryway. The Sheriff had carefully sidestepped it, just to be safe. "Yes, of course. Everything you just said makes perfect sense," said Madame Pinkie, bluffing that she'd been listening. "And, um, just to be very clear, for the spirits I mean, what brings you into my parlor today? Though it's more of a tent than a parlor." The Sheriff cleared his voice and took a deep breath. "I've visited a number of wise ponies throughout various parts of Equestria. Since I came here to visit with the Mayor and a couple of friends in the Apple family, I figured I might as well hit up your tent. Nearly half the town mentioned you by name, Madame Pinkie," he explained in a hushed voice. "Ponies here in Ponyville all seem to agree that you have an amazing skill with the arcane, despite being a simple earth pony like myself." The Sheriff was being oddly soft-spoken. Pinkie Pie momentarily wondered if she was intimidating him too much. But he seemed to be enjoying the little game as much as she was, so she decided to keep up the act. "Oh yes!" she acknowledged. "I do see the future, and the past, and all that good stuff. And I can see the present even better still," she bragged. "Especially if it's a future present. But I'm guessing that's not what you're here for, is it?" she hinted, raising a brow. "I don't know what a 'future present' is, but no. I'm here to ask the same question I ask of all wise ponies: what is the meaning of life?" Madame Pinkie giggled. "Oh, that! That one's easy. It's a fountain," she said, plainly but definitively. Her guest furrowed his brow in confusion. "I don't understand. What exactly about it is a fountain?" he asked. Madame Pinkie held out her hooves, gesturing all around her. "Life! Life is a fountain," she insisted, nodding her head several times. "That's just all there is to it." Slowly, Sheriff Silverstar pondered the odd response. His mouth opened silently for a few seconds as he waited for the words to form, and then he spoke. "Wait, wait just a minute… now I'm beggin' your pardon, ma'am, but that doesn't explain anything! I asked half the ponies in town to direct me to a wise pony, they all sent me here, and all you got to say is, 'Life is a fountain'? I mean… that's all I get?" he asked, sounding a little hurt. Pinkie's eyes widened, and she let out a large, exaggerated gasp. "Wait… Are you telling me that… that life isn't a fountain after all? Ohmygosh!" she exclaimed, hooves pressed against her cheeks in total surprise. The poor Sheriff looked more confused than ever. "Well, I, um, I just don't see how it could be, exactly. It just doesn't make sense," he offered meekly. He scratched nervously at the side of his straight black mane with a hoof. For a few seconds, Pinkie pursed her lips and looked upwards. "Well, I guess life is not a fountain, then!" she giggled, then smiled brightly. Her unsatisfied customer looked like he was just about to turn tail and walk out in dismay, when she quickly tacked on, "But then again, now that I think about it: I'd bet you'd have responded the same way to any quickie answer, whether it was right or not. Don'cha think?" she asked, cocking her head cutely. "If the meaning of life was so obvious you would know it the moment you heard it, you probably wouldn't need somepony else to tell you!" Sheriff Silverstar paused for a moment, then chuckled out loud. "Heh, well, I guess that's probably true. I can't really think of an answer that would do the trick, I just keep hopin' there's some easy secret I'm missing that somepony less simple than me might get to. It's kinda depressing, but maybe there isn't a simple answer for a question like that." "Depressing is bad," said Madame Pinkie, with a pout. "I bet there really is an answer, but if there is, it's gotta be one that comes from within you, especially with all that seeking you did. The people you ask may help, but your answer isn't going to come from inside their heads," she said. Before the older pony could fully process what Pinkie was saying, she randomly shifted gears. "Oh! There's something I forgot, something very important," she added, and began waving her forehooves around the crystal ball in front of her. "What is it?" the Sheriff asked, looking into the cloudy bauble with great curiosity. "When I look into the mystical orb of fate, I see, I see… that you're getting a kick-flank present on your next birthday! Woohoo!" Pinkie Pie said excitedly, and clapped her hooves. The Sheriff chuckled. "Well, that's actually kind of funny. Y'see, turns out today is my birthday," he admitted. "Great! Did you like your present?" Pinkie asked softly, with a sly grin. Sheriff Silverstar's jaw dropped half-open, then he simply blushed and nodded. "Thank you, Madame Pinkie," he said, then bowed and stepped out of the tent. Once her guest had left, Pinkie pie quickly leaned outside of the tent and placed a "Spirits Out To Lunch" sign on the opening flaps. "I'll have to run to Sweet Apple Acres and grab Applejack if I'm going to pounce the Sheriff with a surprise birthday party before he leaves town!" she resolved, her cheery mood as bubbly as the waters of a mighty fountain.