//------------------------------// // Chapter 5: "Great Trot!" // Story: Anon Begins // by 23 KM To Nerdiness //------------------------------// "Alright, your turn." "So, these marks of yours, what are they for exactly?" "Oh, these are called cutie marks," Star states. "They appear when ponies discover a unique characteristic that sets themselves apart from others." Whew, I thought those things for some sort of strange cult. I should know better, ponies like Starlight wouldn't do such a thing, right...? You're walking through town again with your ponies and dragon playing another game of 'Ask Anon' with Starlight, but unlike Twilight or Pinkie, she gives you a chance at questions. And she asks questions that actually matter "Don't humans have anything like that?" "We have birth marks, but they have no significance." That better not be code for 'Let me see your ass'. "Your go." you utter, tightening your belt. "Do humans have any-" Before Starlight could finish her sentence, there's an earth-shaking 'BOOM' heard in town. As the four of you rush to the source of the commotion, you notice black smoke ascending toward the sky. "Does this happen often?" you ask. "Yeah, but this is probably the tamer version of what we normally face here." Starlight shrugs. You turn to notice Spike struggling to catch up, even with those flimsy wings. Alright, Anon. Telltale decision here: go back for Spike or leave his ass. You rush to your pint-sized bro and place him on your shoulders. "Thanks, Anon!" the dragon huffs. "Still trying to get used to these wings." Spike will remember that. You catch up with the girls to find a brown stallion with an hourglass cutie mark covered in black soot. A gray pegasus with a blonde mane and creepily cute crossed eyes runs over. With a can of whipped cream. "Don't worry, Doctor! I have everything under control!" she slurs confidently, spraying the poor guy who didn't have a SPECK of fire on him. "I appreciate the effort, Ms. Hooves, but that doesn't help our........mmm, tasty dilemma." "Oops! Sorry, Doctor." "Don't fret, accidents hap-" His bewildered expression focuses on you. Uh oh. Round five coming up. "Yes, I'm the only human in Equestria. Yes, I too am a nerd. And NO, I am not an ape." "I wasn't going to ask that last one." "Just making sure..." You're a little tired of this game. How can Pinkie withstand this much questioning and find it fun? Anyways, you, Spike, and the girls are in this Doctor Whooves' slightly damaged home. And by "slightly", I mean the door and its surroundings are burnt to crap. Apparently, that cross-eyed pegasus from earlier mistook one of the Doc's contraptions for a stove and tried to bake muffins. The whole time you're having this conversation with Whooves, he's giving off this impression that he's hiding something, especially when it came to last night's events. And you notice he keeps sneaking glances towards a busted up invention in the corner of the living room. You finally crack and ask: "Pardon me for askin' doc," you utter. "But what's that thing?" "Oh, this gadget? One of my more embarrassing blunders, nothing special." he dismisses. "Isn't tha the portal masheen I thot was ah fiherwurk launsher?" the silly-eyed mare loudly announces, mouth filled with whipped cream. Every word uttered made the doctor cringe like a dagger struck his heart. The room is absolutely silent, everyone's eyes are wide open, including yours. You were thrown into an unfamiliar world filled with mystical creatures and talking cash-grabs because of a blonde who's as sharp as a bowling ball. But you're not that kind of person who holds grudges... "Oooooohh. I'm so sorry, Anon." she whines. "I...just don't know what went wrong!" "Oh, its fine." you say nonchalantly. You throw hissy fits. Well.......you do internally at least. Woooo doggy, if Purple Smart, Spyro and Glim Glam weren't here, I would've gave the Tourettes Guy a run for his money! Derpy leaves the room and comes back with a lumpy blueberry muffin with a whipped cream smiley face on it. "Apology muffin?" she offers with a nervous smile. Ponies + Your Feels = 'I can't stay mad at you'. Those eyes... She looks like she's been through some bad stuff. Like, maybe sensitive ponies out there don't like her appearance... Or maybe she makes really bad-looking muffins. You take the muffin and hesitantly nibble on the droopy side. Bucking delicious, tbh. "Have you had any recent side effects since your arrival?" the intelligent stallion asks. "Other than my memory being jacked, no." "Intriguing. You wouldn't mind if I ran a few tests would you?" You look to your friends in concern. Twilight raises her hoof, with a reassuring nod. "Alright, I guess. Just no dissection, got it?" Everyone in the room breaks into hysterical laughter. "I'm a doctor, but not that kind of doctor, lad!" Whooves chortles. "Again, making sure. I thought Twilight was a mad scientist planning to do it with the amount of questions she had." you joke. Twilight frowns at your statement. Remember, "PRINCESS" of friendship. She'll probably have your ass flogged for that. You and the others follow the doctor to his so-called "tinker room" where the smell of muffins and tea invade your noses. Machines and whatchamacallits beeping and booping, kind of sounds like trap music.....lame. Doc motions you over towards a stool. He pulls out a gadget with a drill, a clamp, a mallet and a BUZZSAW?!?! Go, Go, Gadget SCREWED... After about a half hour of intense, awkward studying, Whooves becomes incredibly ecstatic about your anatomy almost like he found the cure to every disease out there. "Absolutely extraordinary!" he exclaims. "The effects of my Portal Ray 3000 have increased your muscular gland's capabilities a thousand fold!" ".......what?" English, motherbucker, do you speak it?! "Follow me, if you will." Doc says in anticipation. You all follow the trotting professor outside towards town square. He leads you to a tall tree nearby, takes off his green tie, and throws it on the roof. "Would you be a chap and fetch that for me?" he asks. "How...?" you say. "It's elementary, Anonymous. Jump." Alright, Doc. I'll play John Carter. You walk up to the large oak and hop a millimeter off the ground. "Oh, come now. You can jump higher than that." This is getting pretty suspicious. But you don't want to look lazy in front of your friends. So with a little more effort, you jump- "WOAH!" you yelp as you crash into the tree's hard trunk and end up ensnared in its branches. "Whoa, I thought you said you didn't have any powers, Anon!" Twilight yells in astonishment. "I DIDN'T!" you pant. "BUT APPARENTLY I DO, NOW!" You are so close to crapping yourself, it's insane. As you're clinging to a flimsy branch for dear life, you pluck the doctor's tie out the leaves. "Can you try to land?" Spike asks. "Of course," the doctor states. "If he can jump up, then he'll surely jump down." Ain't theories a bitch? This crazy crumpets trying to kill me! But, everypony's watching! Alright, superhero landing time. "H-Here I go!" you announce, gaining more ponies' attention. With nothing left a lot to lose, you take a deep breath before back-flipping off of the roof. You feel like a badass as you reach the ground. But fate decided to mess with you and you fall FLAT on your face, tie still in hand. "ANON! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!" Starlight squeaks in surprise, helping you up. "Well, I fell down tons of feet towards the ground, so I'm gonna say yeah." you say sarcastically only to realize you've sustained no injuries. As you hand Whooves' tie back, you begin to process what had just occurred. [So, I'm practically impenetrable here?] Your mind starts spewing ideas rapid fire before a smirk forms on your face. "I have super powers now..." "Maybe we should take a break from this portal power training for one-" was all Glimmy could utter before you were high as a kite. And not in the other fun way. "WOOOO HOOOOO!!!" you howl out loud as you take to the sky. As you bound around random spots of Ponyville, ponies stare at you in both amazement and confusion. Leaping past a nearby schoolhouse, you notice three fillies on the playground watching you completely starstrucked. Especially the orange one for some reason. Eventually, as you continue your high-flying leaps of awesomeness, you find yourself hopping beside a flying Rainbow Dash. "Wassup, Rainbow!" you call. "'Sup, Anon......ANON?!" she exclaims in pure shock. "What are you doing up here?!" "I don't know!" you say in blissfully ignorant joy before you descend. Rainbow flies down to your level and witnesses you perfecting your superhero landing. Her jaw comically drops to the floor. "H-How did you-" "I'll explain later, I've got to tell Twi about this!" you state in excitement, running down the street only to suddenly end up running into a bar HARD. LITERALLY, you run into a lamppost headfirst faster than you could say "Oof!" You recover from the surprise boost in speed and have an internal geek-out. "Try to keep up!" you blurt out, sprinting down the dirt road like a bullet. All I need is a bulky red echidna friend to be made a meme and I'll be FAMOUS! "Last one to Town Hall's a prissy pony!" you challenge. "Oh ho, it is ON!" she cockily states before picking up speed. You zigzag right through through the streets of Ponyville, RD's hot on your trail. The two of you are neck at neck, blood pumping fast through both your veins. Everything's moving slower in your eyes, almost like it froze. You spot Twilight and the rest waiting and rush right past them. You two have your arms extended, ready to tag the 'finish line'. Its RD! No, you! RD, NO- D'oh, it's a TIE! Damn.... Well, you both suck. "Now, that's what I call a morning workout." Rainbow pants. You zoom towards Doctor Whooves, a huge grin plastered on your face. Top that Pinkie! "Is it a possibility that portal thingy gave me anymore powers, whatsoever?" you squee. Doc smirks a little. "There's only one way to find out, lad..." Today's gonna be a GOOD DAY."