//------------------------------//
// Mirror Dorkly: The Invention of America 
// Story: Dan Vs. The Magic of Friendship(Season 1) 
// by Barrobroadcaster 
//------------------------------//

Equestria(Mirror)
New Botany Bay Penal Colony

Fluffle Puff was one of the oldest creatures in Equestria. Like the Director, she had gone through many different versions, many different "Equestrias" since the early 1980s when the toy franchise was launched and little girls(and boys) made up their own adventures with the ponies. Like the Director, she had endured the culling of Equestria, somehow safe from the erasure of the current world to make way for a new one. Like the Director, when doom drew neigh instead of nigh, she would be spared. Unlike the Director, she wasn't canon.

Also unlike the Director, Fluffle wasn't depressed to the point of insanity that Equestria had regularly been erased and remade. It was sad, but she had hope. Hope that each time, things would be different, that one day, the rules would change, that the so-called inevitable things would one day, inevitably, break themselves. That, and she had her family.

Which she was temporarily neglecting to pursue another passion of hers: ham.

Of course, Twilight and Dan and bug horse wife weren't the only family she had- she also had husbando-puff. Fuzzle Puff, aka her Fuzband, was busy doing important boy fluffalapon things like guarding the den. Fluffalapons were a lot like lions in that the females did the hunting and the males stayed at home and looked awesome. And in Fuzzle's case, dorbs.

Fluffle's nose detected the ham back on Equestria prime. And with their own ham rations dangerously low, she used the opportunity to venture out on her own to find ham.

It was raining. And rain sucked for Fluffle, because her body tended to absorb water like a sponge and make her sluggish and heavy. She scampered her way through the underbrush of the mirror jungle, scampering the only way a Fluffle Puff could. The leaves and branches kept her somewhat draw, but the Imperial pegasi overhead were clearly making it storm hard for some reason.

The smell of ham was strong. She jumped into a puddle, then jumped again a couple of times, splashing the water until the puddle became several smaller puddles. It was fun, but would've been more fun if she'd packed her galoshes and Fluffponcho. She'd have to remember to pack it on future trips.

Zipping into the next frame, she arrived at her goal: a large metal shed marked HAM. She approached the door eagerly, then stopped. Her fluffy brain told her that this was too easy, that it must be a trap. This thought, however, was overwhelmed by the thought that 'ham traps must be the most delicious traps ever.' It was decided and she needed that ham.

She scamper-snuck up to the door. She sniffed the door, licked the door, for twenty minutes she pawed at the door cutely, then she tried an elaborate sequence to open the door. She tried the ever-popular "Open sesame" in fluent raspberry, she checked under the doormat for a key, Fluffle did every conceivable thing to open the door to the ham vault. Then, she tried the handle and it was unlocked.

The door creaked open. And there was someone standing in the doorway. A ham. A foodimal ham.

Dressed in an ornate pink gown and wearing a tiny tiara, the foodimal stood in front of Fluffle, blocking her way.

"Fluffle Puff~" the foodimal spoke, "I am the Princess of Ham. Or the Ham Princess if you prefer, whichever~" It was like she was singing when she spoke, majestic and beautiful like something out of Fluffle's pie-induced dreams. Astounded, Fluffle had only one response.

"Thppth."

"Indeed~" the princess nodded. "I am projecting an image of myself into your mind to speak to you. I've come to tell you that you must resist the urge to eat all this ham. Your friends, your family are in danger and they need your help~"

Fluffle stared, mouth slightly agape, drool forming and dripping down. The vision of the Ham Princess or Princess of Ham(whichever you prefer) was taxing her brain, filling it with awe, d'aww and disbelief.

"Yes, Fluffle Puff~" the princess said serenely, "You know what you must do. You are a strong pony and you fri-AAAHH! AAHHHHHHH!!!"

"*NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM*" Fluffle Puff devoured the Ham Princess(or Princess of Ham). "*BRAAAAAAAUUUUURRRP!!*" She then belched up a tiara and gown, which then disappeared because they were only a projection inside her mind. Or something. Fluffle decided that projections tasted good but weren't that filling. Fortunately, the rest of the ham vault was very real. She closed the door behind her.





New Botany Bay Penal Colony 
Administration

In lieu of being able to use magic, Discord pointed and shouted at the mares, "Begone, thot!"

...

..........................................

"Okay, new plan; we leave Discord here," Dan said.

"When did we get a dead meme character? And when did it become Discord?" Phoenix asked.

"Hey. That's not a dead meme," Discord protested.

"Pretty sure it is now," Cap said.

Discord folded his arms. "Well, maybe it's not dead in THIS universe."

"Again, I'm pretty sure it is now," Cap said. "Just, you're... you're not helping," he patted him. Discord sulked.

"Ya ain't getting no help from nopony," AJ grinned puckishly. "Sorry, boys. Just ain't your lucky day." She and Rarity blocked the door, Rarity herself was armed with a bejeweled SMG. Cap's shield couldn't protect all of them and there was nowhere to escape to in the small confines of the cabin. They were trapped with evil versions of their friends pointing guns at them. Somehow, Dan knew something like this was going to happen. He braced his foot on the desk.

"Ha-ha. Ha. Ha-ha-ha. Ha," Rarity laughed, pausing between laughs for no bucking reason. "And you did a good job too, Onyx." The black cat hissed at her and ran out the door. It also found her annoying.

"A girl's gotta have her wits about her." They both chuckled until they were abruptly cutoff. "Oh SHI-"

"EEEEK!" The office desk slammed into both of them, knocking them out of the cabin and back out into the rain.

"And a guy has to know how to move furniture," Dan said. He held up a keyring. "I got the keys to the prison cells from evil not-my girlfriend. Let's go get Pinkie and the REAL Applejack and get outta here."

"Indeed. One universe's problems is enough," Khan remarked.

"Exactly, thank you Khannie. See, Nicky? He gets it." Both men moved to the door. Cap and Phoenix did not join them.

"Dan..."

"What, Nicky? WHAT WHAT WHAT?! What is it now, can't you see we're in a hurry?"

"I want to take mirror Twilight with us," Phoenix said.

"I don't think I should leave," Cap blurted out.

"What?!" Phoenix and Dan spun around to ask him.

Captain America shrugged. "I don't think I should leave."

"Stevie, no. You're coming back with us."

Cap put up his hands. "Hear me out. These ponies, this... even this version of Earth, they've never experienced democracy. Freedom as a concept doesn't exist to them. I could be the first one to show it to them."

"They may not be open to it as a concept," Khan said. "Even in my time, there are cultures that do not embrace liberty simply because it is presented to them. Like any foreign concept, it is often met at first with skepticism at best and complete apprehension at worst."

"But they've never experienced it at all. It's not foreign here, it doesn't exist here. Not yet," Cap countered.

Khan smiled. "It is more than foreign. To them, freedom is alien. Perhaps even... abomination."

"Yeah, just gonna throw my two bit's worth in here, Uncle Sam doesn't really have the best track record of getting other cultures to embrace freedom," Dan said. "Also, this is really a bad time considering we're on their turf."

"There's no other time," Cap said, steadfast and standing firm. His hands were balled into fists. This was something he felt passionate about. "Look, you three can go back to our universe. I'll stay here, maybe contact the Resistance. I can bring democracy to a universe that has only known tyranny. To me, that's worth it."

Dan pinched his eyes shut hard. "You HAVE to make a big deal about this right NOW?! Right when we're going to get Pinkie and AJ back?!"

"I could stay, too," Discord offered.

"We're already leaving you behind!"

"I thought you were joking, Dan."

"I MAY NOT BE NOW!" Dan yelled. He stood up to Captain America. "There are TWO universes out there and you're going to fight them while we have TWO universes of our own to deal with! This is NOT the time to have an American Revolution in Nazi land!"

Calmly but firmly, Captain America met Dan's furious gaze. "There's never a good time. Revolutions are tough. They don't come when you're ready, they come when the world is. I feel this, Dan. This is real. This, right here, is where I can do the most good. I can teach an entire world about America, about equality, about justice and liberty. That's worth it to me."

Dan's hands shook. "This isn't right! We can't... we can't break up the team." He actually sounded sad for a moment. "Just when things were getting good."

"I'm with Dan, Steve," Phoenix said. "You're going to be fighting an uphill battle here. No support, all alone. That's a tough job for anybody, even you."

"But I'm the only one who can do it," Cap said. "And once things get started, I won't be alone. Who knows? Maybe after a few months, I can come back and we can take the fight to Vice Grip with an entire army behind us. A Solar Republic. The United States of Terra, that sort of thing."

"Just gonna put this out here," Dan said, "Both the three smart people here think this is a bad idea and the one idiot thinks you should go through with it. Think this through."

And Cap looked at all of them. And then back to Dan. "I have to try." He was the same kid from Brooklyn he'd always been. After fighting impossible galaxy-terrorizing, planet-devouring enemies, battling HYDRA, Umbrella and fighting across the vastness of time, space and other dimensions, Captain America was still Steve Rogers, the kid who didn't like to see others get pushed around.

To prove the point, he was done talking. "I'm gonna get going. I'll leave quietly." He was a man of both actions and words. For Captain America, both spoke very, very loudly.

"Steve," Dan said, stopping him. "How will. how're you going to come back?"

He thought for a second. Then he handed him his phone. "Take this. I'll come back for it, I promise."

"Rrrrright, or we could just exchange numbers."

"No, keep it. When the time comes, I'll call you."

"Ah," Dan nodded. "This is the same phone from Civil War and Infinity War, isn't it?"

"Wish me luck," he said. He stepped outside, closed the door behind him and he was gone.

"Luck," Phoenix said. It was quiet for a few moments after that. The rain kept hitting the windows. The unconscious mirror ponies were still there. One good thing about tyrannical bureaucracy was that it didn't move much without orders from the top. The lowly brainwashed imperial soldier never expects their infallible leaders to be taken down. There's almost always no contingency for if the top link in the chain of command gets unlatched. Which makes unlatching it all the more fun.

With Chryz impersonating the Empress, she was effectively taking her place to maintain the illusion of command for the Imperial pony troopers, so they didn't panic. With her out cold at his feet, the rest of the sun fascists were none the wiser. He could do anything he wanted, even impersonate the Empress himself if he did it right. Take control of the whole Empire. Either way, the advantage was his. Only question was, what would he do with it?

"How are we going to get back to the castle?" Phoenix asked. "The guards will definitely be suspicious if they see us releasing Pinkie and AJ."

"I recommend stealth," Khan said.

"We should also probably hurry," Discord said. "Before these three wake up and raise an alarm."

"Right, quick and quiet. That sound like a good idea, Dan?"

"Sounds great, Nicky!" Dan declared. He scooped up Chryz, kicked open the door and yelled at the top of his lungs, "BEHOLD, SUN FASCIST HORSE LOSERS! YOUR GOD IS A LIE!!" He threw the changeling mirror queen out the door and into the mud. "HAHAHA!"

Phoenix and Khan stood dumbfounded. Again. They stared at Dan in only partial disbelief, because part of them expected something like this. Yet they were both shocked to see it. Naturally, Discord took this opportunity to make them feel better. He walked up between them and wrapped his arms around their shoulders.

"Boy, I've missed you guys. It's good to be back, part of the ole gang again."

Phoenix slowly turned his head to him. "You were never part of the ole gang. Not with Dan. You've barely even met!"

"I have yet to make your acquaintance either."

"Ah. I'm Discord. Spirit of chaos extraordinaire. Here's my card," he presented a Pop-Tart shaped like Nyan Cat with his information printed in icing on it. Khan accepted it.

"I really hope this dead meme thing is just a phase for you," Phoenix said. (And I hope I never go through a phase like that. Now, self-referential reflection in parenthesis, that never goes out of style.)

"I mean I was with you in spirit, Nicholas," Discord said, grinning.

"The spirit of wha-oh, I regret asking that question."

"The spirit of chaos! Of course!" He threw open his arms. But nothing happened. "Yes... powers are still on the fritz, unfortunately. That's a real Pop-Tart by the way, I'll be needing that back."

"You actually painstakingly wrote fictional contact information in icing on a Pop-Tart? Just for a gag?" Phoenix asked.

Discord shrugged. "I could do it with a snap of my fingers normally, but again, no powers. Times are tight, dear attorney. We're all making due."

Dan burst in through the door. Before he could say anything, Phoenix said, "Oh crap! I forgot we're still in the Nazi camp!"

"Did they not hear your announcement?" Khan asked.

"Worse. The Resistance is here."