For the first time in several nights, Twilight and Phoenix slept quite soundly.
Exhausted after a long day filled with activity, and both their bodies and spirits needing respite from the powerful emotions and intimacy of the past two days, they engaged in no intimacy other than some minor snuggling. Instead, they simply enjoyed each other’s presence and love, lulled to sleep by the sound of the surf and kept there by the warmth of each other’s bodies, contrasted with the cool breeze coming through the window… though once or twice Phoenix could have sworn there was a mosquito in the room for the faint buzzing he was hearing.
Morning came, but it was nearly nine before they rousted themselves. Phoenix went downstairs to whip up a light breakfast in anticipation of heavy eating later that day, limiting themselves to a sunrise skillet he’d occasionally made for Maya consisting of pork sausage links, peppers, onions, mushrooms, tomatoes, and a very light dusting of cheddar cheese.
“You know, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I really think I’m going to miss being an omnivore when I go back!” Twilight noted as she dabbed at her lips with a napkin.
They cleaned up the kitchen and then showered together after that, Twilight leaving Phoenix to shave in the bathroom mirror while she went downstairs to check if there were any additional dragonfire messages she’d received from her friends.
It was only then, as Phoenix was shaving in the bathroom that he heard the faint buzzing sound again, this time coming from right outside the window. “What the hell is…?” Frowning, he looked at the window through the mirror only to see… a small drone of some sort, hovering outside the open window for just a moment before darting away. Staring at the place it had been, he remembered then that he’d heard the sound of it repeatedly for the past several days, and, drawing the only conclusion possible, finished his business before heading back into the main room. Someone’s spying on us, and given when it started, I have a sneaking suspicion I know who…
“Phoenix, are you done with the bathroom? Good, because we have a lot to do if we’re going to prepare for everyone’s visit,” Twilight said with great enthusiasm. “I asked my friends if they’d be willing to wait to talk until evening, when everyone’s here?” she suggested, then her expression fell slightly as she noticed his troubled look.
“Sounds good, but… we may have a problem, Twilight,” he warned her, his lips tight. “I spotted something outside. A remote-controlled drone, probably with a camera attached.”
Twilight blinked, and chanced a glance at the window, but there was nothing there. “A ‘drone’? What do you mean?” The only ‘drones’ she knew of were the shapeshifting servants of a hive-like race called Changelings, and they hadn’t been seen in Equestria for ages.
“I mean, a remotely operated flying device. They’re sold as high-end toys here, but some come with cameras equipped and they make perfect surveillance devices when you don’t want to be seen doing it.”
Twilight considered that, then understood why he was concerned. “So in other words, someone’s spying on us.” she concluded, then frowned when Phoenix shared his theory of who he thought was behind it. “I see. Well, then… I’m going to try something, but since it involves teleportation, I’ll need to be a pony to have enough power to do it.” Removing her amulet, she reverted to her pony form well away from the windows, before her horn lit up and she suddenly faded from sight.
“Invisibility spell. I’m going outside,” she announced from behind her magical cloak as there was a flash that announced her teleportation followed by the sound of hoof-falls on the roof. A minute passed before Phoenix’s phone rang and he picked up to find Twilight on the other end, her telepathy spell connecting to his phone just as they had initially discovered it could during Rainbow Dash’s trial so many months earlier. “I see it, Phoenix. It’s this weird… insectile thing circling the building. I can see a camera on it too. Looks like it’s positioning itself to look in windows,” she told him through the connection.
“Figures. Now if we could just find out where our not-so-secret spymaster is…” he thought out loud, not particularly concerned. If it really is who I think, I doubt they’ll be too hard to deal with or discredit...
“Leave that to me, Phoenix. I learned spells to deal with human electronics before coming here,” she told him. “I can’t take credit for it, though. The princess insisted I be as prepared for this world as possible and told me to learn the same spells she teaches her agents.”
“Of course she did…” Phoenix could only chuckle and shake his head. “Just… be careful, Twilight. You can’t be seen in public as a pony.”
“I know. I’ve got this, Phoenix. Just hold on…” she promised him over his phone, then there was a pause. “I can sense a two-way signal going between the drone and its owner.”
“Probably the radio signal used to control it, as well as send its pictures back to its main computer,” Phoenix noted. “Can you track it?”
“I can tell its direction but not its distance. But that’s fine. Just need to triangulate it…” she told him, concentrating, teleporting to multiple locations over the next minute before she smiled, homing in on a cheap motel a couple blocks away. “Found her!” With that, Twilight’s horn flared, and she vanished with a sharp pop! Only to reappear a few seconds later back in the Villa beside Phoenix… along with a very discomfited Lotta Hart.
“Wh-what in…” was all Lotta got out before she clapped a hand to her mouth, and bolted for the bathroom, stumbling over a chair in the process. A few seconds later, Phoenix and Twilight heard the sound of retching.
“Guess she’s not as inured to teleporting as I am,” Phoenix said dryly, crossing his arms and smirking while they waited for her to re-emerge.
“Celestia did say that those who aren’t used to it tend to vomit,” Twilight noted mildly while wearing an identical smirk, not bothering to transform back. “Excuse me while I retrieve the rest of her surveillance gear…”
It was several minutes before Lotta re-emerged from the bathroom, still looking shaky. By that time, Twilight had recovered not only the drone, but its controller and a laptop. With a quivering hand, Lotta pointed at the Equestrian unicorn standing before her with a smug look. “Ah knew it! Ah knew it! Ah knew there was somethin’ fishy goin’ on!”
“Yeah, and the fishy one is standing right in front of me,” Phoenix said sourly, glaring over his crossed arms. It was bad luck for Lotta, as she was the last person he wanted to deal with so early in the morning. “So, just what do you think you’re doing, Lotta? You are aware that recording of residences without consent is illegal, aren’t you?”
“Oh, don’t you start, Mister Lawyer! Ah knew somethin’ was off about yer girlfriend, and it looks like Ah was right! Once Ah’ve got all the pictures and such sorted, Ah’ll be sendin’ this straight to the government!” Lotta declared, working up some nerve even as she was unable to stop staring at Twilight.
“The government?” Twilight asked with a blink. “Why not the tabloids?”
Lotta grimaced. “At first I thought I could get some juicy pics of you two doing some hanky-panky, and ya even started to on the beach! But then she turned into… that! And then ya both disappeared!” she waved at Twilight, causing both to grimace at the realization they had been observed that night. “And here Ah thought Ah had a real winner—’Ace Attorney kidnapped by Alien Equine!’ But when ah took the video to the tabloids, they rejected it! Said her eyes were so big it had to be ‘real shoddy CGI’ and it was ‘too obviously faked’ even for them! That’s when Ah realized; there’s some sort of conspiracy goin’ on, and ah’m the only one who can stop it!”
“A conspiracy to do what?” Phoenix couldn’t help but ask, exchanging a glance and an eyeroll with an unimpressed Twilight, who thought the paparazzi back home were far better at their craft than Lotta was.
“Ta invade the planet!” She said frantically. “She obviously ain’t from around here, so what else could she be ‘cept this weird purple pony alien—”
“I’m lavender!” Twilight corrected sharply.
“Fine! Lavender! But now here she’s got you believin’ nothin’s wrong!” Lotta stood up and pointed a shaky finger at them while Phoenix just rubbed his eyes.
“Nothing is wrong, Lotta,” he sighed and rubbed his eyes. “I’ll tell you who she is and where she comes from if you’ll promise to stop bothering us…” Reluctantly, he gave her the broad outlines of Twilight’s world and how they met.
Lotta listened in disbelief. “So you’re saying she comes from an alternate world of pastel ponies? One where friendship is magic and they walk on all fours? Really?” Lotta put her hands on her hips again. “Just how big a fool do ya think Ah am, Phoenix Wright?”
“Do you really want me to answer that, Lotta?” Phoenix couldn’t resist asking.
“But supposin’ ya are tellin’ the truth…” she grinned as a sudden idea occurred to her. “Ah’m a reasonable gal; and as long as the world’s not in danger Ah’m willin’ ta overlook this for now… if’n ya pay me for the film she ruined the other day, as well as some extra for mah silence.”
Phoenix’s eyes narrowed, as did Twilight’s. “And… if I refuse?” he asked, giving her a look of contempt.
“Then Ah take everything Ah’ve got to the mayor, the police, an’ anyone else who’ll listen!” Lotta snapped, hands on her hips.
“And what makes you think they’ll believe you?” Twilight asked in annoyance at the clumsy threat. “Phoenix told me about you after our earlier meeting, Lotta Hart. You’ve been implicated in several hoaxes, committed perjury on the stand numerous times, and openly admit to selling information and photos to the tabloids. So I imagine if you go to the authorities with nothing but this, you’ll be laughed right out of the city.”
“She’s right, Lotta,” Phoenix said darkly, though he couldn’t quite keep a smug note out of his voice. “You’ve been caught out in your lies in very public trials on more than one occasion. You’ve been involved in outright fraud as well. So why would anyone believe your claim that we’re being invaded or Twilight is anything but a foreign visitor?” he asked as Twilight took her cue and transformed herself back to human before her eyes, smirking as she made Lotta flinch, crossing her arms over her bare chest. “You have no solid proof, no details of what’s going on. All you have are a few grainy night-vision videos of me and Twilight that even the tabloids wouldn’t touch.”
“Are ya’ll daft? Ah got my pictures and video! And this conversation’s being recorded!” she claimed, slightly shrilly. “Ah gotcha both dead to rights, ya hear?”
“Do you?” Twilight asked mildly. “I’ve been jamming all electronic signals in and out of here since we spotted your toy, so nothing’s getting recorded. And as for your existing pictures and video…” she growled as her now-ethereal horn lit up. Before Lotta’s eyes, a magic bolt fried the laptop, causing it to all but explode from the inside out, destroying its innards including the hard drive. The drone and its controller swiftly followed suit. “There goes all of your so-called ‘evidence’. Now I’m going to tell you once more, Lotta Hart, since you apparently did not get the message when we last spoke…”
“Ah ain’t afraid o’ you, Twilight Sparkle! Ah’m a god-fearing gal, but Ah ain’t gonna be cowed by some half-size horse!” she proclaimed a bit too shrilly, both Phoenix and Twilight easily picking out the false bravado in her voice.
Twilight’s grin turned all but evil at her statement, while Phoenix could only facepalm, suspecting what was about to happen. “I see. Well, then... guess I’ll just have to put the fear of the gods into you. So listen and listen well, Lotta Hart…” Twilight lowered her head and stalked towards Lotta, who backed away as a glow appeared around where her horn would be. “Our personal lives are none of your concern, and most certainly not the concern of the tabloids or the government. So consider this fair warning, you wannabe photo floozie—if you ever try to blackmail Phoenix or myself again, I’ll show you exactly why crossing me or my friends is a very… bad… idea.” With the last three words, Twilight let some of her elemental powers show, her eyes glowing red and dark indigo hair briefly converting to flame, giving her a demonic appearance.
“H-holy…” a sudden wetness appeared between Lotta’s legs as she bolted for the front door, threw it open and ran outside, fleeing as fast as her legs could take her.
“You enjoyed that, didn’t you?” Phoenix asked once she was gone, unable to suppress a smile as he watched her panicked departure.
“The Princess wouldn’t approve, but... yes,” Twilight admitted as she withdrew her flames. “After all the trouble I’ve had with the tabloids back home, I just really don’t have much patience for people or ponies like that. Sorry, Phoenix.”
“Don’t be,” he kissed her. “For all the trouble she’s caused me and my clients, you’ve no idea how often I’ve wished I could do that to her myself. And who knows? Maybe after this, she’ll finally leave me alone and I won’t have to worry about her or her pictures appearing to bedevil me in court again...”
Once Lotta had fled the scene, Phoenix called Miles Edgeworth to tell him what had happened and ask for his intervention.
Having heard the facts, he promised he would issue a warrant for Lotta’s arrest, sit her down and make clear that with the evidence of the destroyed electronics left at the Villa, he could send her up for months and she was categorically not to bother Phoenix or Twilight again. “I would advise seeking a restraining order as well,” Edgeworth said before they hung up, and Phoenix promised he would.
Satisfied that she’d been dealt with and the threat of exposure was gone, Twilight and Phoenix cleaned up and started getting the place ready for company. Another scroll containing a message and four mirror gems arrived, but Twilight asked her friends to wait to chat until the middle of the afternoon or evening when everyone was present.
Once the villa was presentable, they headed out to a local shop to find her a swimsuit, and to little surprise of Phoenix, she chose a purple lavender two-piece that was close in color to her fur, modeling it and a few others for him before they bought it. After that, it was time to get enough food for eight, including drinks, desserts, and trimmings. He knew Maya would want to cook burgers or steaks, but Twilight vetoed the suggestion, saying that after having thought about it, she simply wasn’t comfortable with eating beef given the bovines she knew.
“No issue with chicken or pork, though!” she reminded him, so after checking with Ferro by text as to the princess’s preferences (“Tia says ribs are fine with her, and we’ll bring the beer!”), he and Twilight picked up a series of chicken leg quarters and rib racks as well as plenty of trimmings. He honestly had no idea what Edgeworth might prefer, but did get some packets of Rarity’s tea delivered via Spike’s dragonfire direct from her carousel home.
To little surprise, Edgeworth arrived first, right at 2 pm. Punctual as always! Phoenix thought as he greeted his prosecutor friend, noting that he was in his regular work clothes and had a briefcase under his arm containing the chess set.
“Don’t you ever take a break, Miles?” Phoenix had to ask.
“Unlike you, Wright, I do not get to choose my cases or clients. The job of a prosecutor is forever ongoing, and it is what I was born to do,” he arched an eyebrow at Phoenix, who didn’t press further. To his surprise, Edgeworth did, however, say he was willing to indulge in a single glass of wine, and was starting into it as the doorbell buzzed again and they found Vinyl and Maya waiting outside, their hands filled with shopping bags.
“Don’t tell me that’s all swimsuits!” Phoenix pointed at their purchases.
“Don’t you wish, Nick!” Maya gave him a flirtatious wink. “It’s… lots of stuff. Mind if we, um, stow it in the second upstairs bedroom?” she asked, making Vinyl suppress a smirk.
Her request seemed oddly specific to Phoenix, but he let it go, pouring her favorite cola when she came back downstairs with a surprise—the keg of Applejack’s special reserve cider he’d received as a gift his last day in Equestria. “Picked it up from the office. AJ said it was for special occasions, and I think celebrating the defeat of The Nightmare qualifies! So are the burgers on yet?” she asked as she found a place in the refrigerator for it, only to go momentarily crestfallen when she found out the cookout was beef-less.
“We’ve got plenty of meat, Maya. I’m doing teriyaki chicken and barbecued ribs,” he promised, motioning to the spread already marinating in the kitchen, at which point she gave in without much further grousing. Phoenix then in turn offered some Sangria to the Equestrian girls, who, he was happy to see, did appreciate the sweet wine, not far removed from what they knew back home.
“Ain’t bad, but Burros really do it better…” Vinyl decided after her first glass, heading out onto the deck where Twilight and Edgeworth were already starting their chess match using the pony set that Twilight had given him as a gift upon departure from Equestria months earlier.
Edgeworth was surprised to see Vinyl when she stepped out, caught a little short as he recognized her by her red eyes and shock of electric blue hair. “This is unexpected. What brings you to Earth, Ms. Scratch?”
“Oh, just a friend in need…” she said, grasping Maya’s hand, causing Edgeworth to flush slightly. “Long story, but… I do got a message for you, Worthy. My girl Octy approved of your performance when you were rooting out the corruption in the Equestrian prosecutor’s office.”
“Octavia Melody?” Edgeworth recognized, even as he grimaced slightly at the nickname; it had been used on him before by the corrupt police chief, Damon Gant. “I did not speak with her, but was told she was the best you had.”
Vinyl nodded almost proudly. “That she is. But she wasn’t needed since you were there. She said that since you took care of it, she didn’t have to and was able to remain on her concert tour. She saw the transcripts of the trial afterwards and said you did ‘quite well’—high compliment from her, believe me. She also promises she’ll repay you someday.”
Edgeworth bowed his head. “Tell her I appreciate the sentiment and compliment, but I was simply doing my duty as a prosecutor.”
“And she’ll love hearing that, too.” Vinyl nodded in satisfaction, settling down to watch the chess match unfold as Phoenix put out some plates of appetizers, including plenty of raw vegetables, chips and dip.
He offered Edgeworth a second glass of wine, but he declined, saying he would have to return to work after speaking to the princess, who had not yet shown… until a third doorbell buzz was heard and in burst Pearl and Cyprey followed swiftly by Ferro and Celestia, hand in hand.
“Our apologies for being delayed, but our morning was… eventful.” She closed her eyes and smiled. “I trust we are not too late for the festivities?”
“Not at all, Princess.” Phoenix motioned them in. After giving and getting initial greetings, including shaking Edgeworth’s hand and saying he was very honored to meet him, Ferro took the two girls downstairs to the pool and Celestia materialized a large pack of beer and a couple oranges once they had departed. “A case of Blue Moon… in honor of my sister,” she smiled, popping one and guzzling half in one draw, causing Twilight to blush again, Vinyl deciding to try one herself.
“Huh. It’s like bread in a bottle…” the pony DJ realized, licking her lips, then taking Celestia’s advice to add an orange slice to it. “Ain’t sweet, but it’s mellow and it works. Think I like it,” she announced, though Maya declined to share it, saying she ‘didn’t want Edgey-Poo arresting her for underage drinking!’
“Why do you keep calling him that?” Vinyl finally asked, to which she only too happily shared the story of his rather aggressive elderly admirer, Wendy Oldbag. The mere mention of her name caused Edgeworth to flush and shift uncomfortably, to Maya’s delight and Phoenix’s smirk.
“But that’s okay. Oldbag’s old news because Edgey-poo’s got a new filly now!” Maya proclaimed loudly at the end of the story, enjoying herself immensely as Phoenix took his cue.
“With love, from Rarity,” Phoenix grinned as he took his cure, serving Edgeworth the tea she had delivered just that morning, along with a handkerchief bearing her perfume, enjoying the sudden blush that broke out on Edgeworth’s face as he caught her scent and squirmed for just a moment.
“You… and Miss Rarity, Miles Edgeworth?” Celestia couldn’t resist a tease of her own. “I believe this is the first I’ve heard of this!”
“Whoa, there! You landed Rares of all mares, Worthy? She must really like you! She has high standards and doesn’t take just any old stallion, you know…” Vinyl piled on as well.
“I am aware…” Edgeworth answered with as much dignity as he could muster, suddenly feeling very warm under the collar and struggling to keep his attention on the game. “And I will thank you all to respect our privacy.”
“Wasn’t aware there was anything to keep private!” Phoenix added as he took a beer of his own, sitting down beside Twilight, who giggled despite the fact that she was in a precarious position in the chess match.
Everyone settled down after that, watching the match to its conclusion, which took but forty minutes to reach.
“Checkmate,” Edgeworth announced as he moved his final piece.
Recognizing her defeat, Twilight nodded slowly and tipped her king over. “You win again, Edgeworth,” she conceded, sitting back heavily as she realized it hadn’t even been close. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever met as good a player as you. Except maybe…” she looked up at her mentor.
“Your skill is impressive, Miles Edgeworth, as my student is no novice at this game,” Celestia complimented him as well, then grinned. “Before leaving, perhaps you would grant me the pleasure of a match as well…?”
Edgeworth was surprised by the offer, but only momentarily. “I would be honored, Princess,” he gave his most sweeping bow before her, his forearm held parallel to the ground at the completion of the gesture. “On one condition, that is. I do have some questions about your role and purpose in our world… would you be willing to answer them as we play?” he inquired as he stood back up.
“Am I to be questioned by a prosecutor?” she asked mildly with the barest hint of a smile on her face as she sat down opposite him and swiftly reset the chess board with her magic, taking the side of the sun while Edgeworth took command of the night-themed royal blue pieces with Luna as its queen and an intricate carving of the moon itself as the King.
“As this is not a courtroom and you do not stand accused of any crime, I can hardly compel your testimony, Princess,” he replied as he sat down himself and crossed his arms, tapping a finger on his bicep. “I simply ask that you do so as a courtesy, to ease my concerns regarding your activities in this world.”
“I see,” Celestia answered without offense. “By all means, then, Miles Edgeworth. As I am the challenger, I feel it only fitting this match be played on your terms. To that end, I also invite you to make the opening move.”
“I would never say you are ungracious, Princess. But as my time is somewhat pressing and I often have little time to consider my next words or actions in court, let us play a speed match where each of us must move within ten seconds,” he proposed as Celestia nodded and Twilight quickly set up the clock the chess set had come with.
Once she had finished and began the game by starting the clock with a flare of her magic, Edgeworth reached over the board and moved a batpony pawn forward one space, then tapped the clock to reset it. “My first question is one that has troubled me for some time. You paid me and Wright quite handsomely for our service in Equestria, in our own currency by certified cheque drawn on your own national bank. But as your financial movements are hidden within the Swiss banking system, my first question must be: how are you funding your activities on earth?”
“With gemstones, Miles Edgeworth,” she answered easily as she made an identical move with a Royal Guardspony pawn wielding a spear, resetting the clock with her own magic. “Precious gems that are rare for you are in fact quite common in our world. The trade in high-quality industrial-grade diamonds is quite lucrative, for example, and a few of our stones have even found their way into the jewelry business. Equios itself survives on tourism, as we have a few historical sites as well as some hot springs sought out by the ill and afflicted that are said to be… magical,” she took on her coy grin as Edgeworth made a second move. “Not without cause, as part of the reason I founded it there was a confluence of ley lines that would facilitate travel between our worlds and ease our use of magic.”
“Really? Think I’d love to visit there, Princess!” Maya piped up, to which Celestia smiled as she advanced a solar Knight from the second rank of her pieces.
“I’m sure that can be arranged, Miss Maya. And as regent of the land, I would say you are more than welcome to visit yourself, Miles Edgeworth, should you wish to inspect our humble province firsthoof.”
“A generous offer. Perhaps I will, the next time I travel to Europe,” Edgeworth granted, tapping his finger a few more times, turning his attention fully on the game for a few minutes as they exchanged a few pleasantries and a dozen moves, making the first exchanges of taken pieces. “But back to business… my next question must be: for how long have you been coming to earth that Equios has existed for so long?” Edgeworth asked as he moved a lunar bishop diagonally forward two squares in an attempt to cut off her rook.
“Our first forays into your world predate even my life, and it was not until well into my reign that we began exploring in more earnest,” the Princess replied as she moved her solar knight forward, a pegasus mare in the guise of a Bolt Knight, pausing as Edgeworth countered with his own knight wearing the garb of a Shadowbolt. “If you mean how long have I been coming here myself, my first visit was over a millennium ago, but I only started to come on a regular basis in the past five hundred years or so…” Celestia answered as she considered her next move, looking like she was very much enjoying the match, Twilight spotting that Edgeworth had already eluded several of her traps and retained his own offensive options.
“And why did you start doing so?”
“I discovered, much to my surprise, that your world provided excellent respite from the pressures and loneliness of ruling Equestria alone, and over time, I got progressively more comfortable there, marveling at your race’s rapid advancement from the renaissance into the industrial age. I would not say that all my visits have been pleasant ones, but they have certainly always been… interesting. In that time, I have walked among many nations and seen much of your peoples and history.” She steepled her hands, now moving her pieces and resetting the clock strictly by magic.
“And… have you played a role in it?” Edgeworth probed gently as he performed a castle move to pull his king inside his rook, Phoenix noting that he was being far less blunt than he would normally be in a courtroom, interrogating a witness. “As a student of history, I am curious to know what you may have done.”
“I would be lying if I said I had not,” Celestia acknowledged as she moved her own white-hued bishop to present a new threat to an exposed blue-hued rook that was in the shape of the old Everfree Castle. “But lest you think me some shadow overlord, my machinations, such as they are, have been very… subtle. A nudge here and there, attempting to slowly shape a more harmonious future in which our two worlds might someday be united. It is far from an instant process, and certainly suffers its share of setbacks. But given my long lifetime, I can afford to be very patient about such things. In fact, it has been very rare that I or my agents have directly intervened in human affairs.”
“But not unheard of?” Edgeworth challenged, raising an eyebrow at her, watching her reaction carefully like Phoenix would an opposing witness or poker player.
“No,” she confirmed. “If you wish an example of direct intervention, I would point you back to your own nation’s history. In 1862 of your common era, your country was embroiled in a great Civil War. In autumn of that year, the Union of your northern states was on the defensive, in danger of losing to the upstart Confederacy of southern states right then and there as General Robert E. Lee’s Army of Northern Virginia invaded Maryland,” she recited with ease. “As a self-proclaimed student of history, I’m sure you know well what was at stake.”
“A great schism that would have left one of the ugliest of all institutions intact,” he recited carefully as another exchange of moves followed, leaving Phoenix in admiration of how indirectly and diplomatically he could answer such a loaded question.
“Indeed,” Celestia answered gravely as she advanced a bishop; a unicorn pony who wore the pointed hat of her onetime sun sages, making Twilight take immediate mental note to look up the conflict she spoke of in her human history books. “But rather than simply tell you what was done… let us see if you can deduce it. Tell me, Miles Edgeworth… what happened during Lee’s offensive?”
Edgeworth’s brow furrowed as he recalled the information from college history courses and own personal study, Phoenix trying to remember what he could of that era as well. “Fresh off several stunning successes, including victory in the Second Battle of Bull Run, General Lee led his army into Maryland, intending to invade Pennsylvania, take Philadelphia and cut off the Union capital of Washington D.C. Even without directly taking the capital, his success would have triggered Britain and France to recognize the Confederacy as an independent nation and intervene to break the northern blockade of their ports, all but winning the war for the South.” The prosecutor tapped his finger on his bicep as he spoke.
“Correct. But why did it not happen?” Celestia prompted.
“Certainly, not because of superior military leadership,” Edgeworth immediately recalled, clearly surprised that the Princess was testing him as much as he was her. “General George B. McClellan, the then-commander of the Federal Army of the Potomac, was incredibly timid and afraid to commit his much larger force, moving only very cautiously. He was simply no match for a commander as quick and cunning as Lee. And even when he did stumble upon Lee’s plans by pure happenstance, he…” Edgeworth suddenly trailed off and blinked, looking up at the Sun Princess like he’d just guessed the answer, causing Celestia to give him a sly smile.
Edgeworth stared at her a moment more before speaking again. “During the course of that campaign, a copy of Lee’s general orders were lost and found by a Union private on the side of a road. They detailed exactly where Lee’s army was and where it was planning to go. It was that information that enabled McClellan to bring Lee to battle before he was ready, resulting in the Battle of Antietam. Though McClellan unsurprisingly failed to crush Lee’s numerically inferior army because he attacked piecemeal and refused to commit his reserves, he did check Lee’s advance and forced him to end his offensive right then and there. That extremely costly and incomplete ‘victory’ in turn spurred President Lincoln to issue the Emancipation Proclamation, which ended the threat of European intervention and changed the entire character of the war,” he finished, then gave her a sideways look. “And the origin of that lost order…?”
“A simple levitation spell applied to an inattentive courier was all it took,” she confirmed. “It was then moved to a path where Union columns would be passing and left in plain sight. And the rest, as they say… is history.” Perhaps to emphasize her words, she moved herself as queen forward to threaten Edgeworth’s flank.
“Remarkable…” Edgeworth acknowledged as he countered with his own queen, Luna herself. “I must admit, I am quite impressed, princess. With one minor and measured act at just the right moment in time… you changed the very course of human history.”
“I prefer to think of it as keeping history on its proper course,” she replied easily. “Understand, I do not do such things often or lightly. I could not control humanity even if I wished to. The events of the last century were certainly evidence enough of that.” She closed her eyes in regret for a moment. “But even in humanity’s darkest days, I have never lost faith in your capacity for friendship and good. Nor have I ever stopped coming here, even during the times of greatest strife.”
“Not even during World War Two?” Maya had to ask, fascinated by it all. “I mean, I’d think you’d’ve stopped coming here then, given how awful Hitler was…”
“Indeed he was…” Celestia’s expression went pained and brooding. “And I would know. I met him.”
That immediately got the attention of every native human present, though Twilight and Vinyl looked on in some bemusement. “Really? You met Adolf Hitler, Princess?” Maya asked, more astonished than aghast.
“Twice,” she confirmed, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment, and taking a quick sip of beer, as if to steady herself. “Equios sent a small contingent to the 1936 Olympics in Berlin—humanity’s version of the Equestria Games,” she said in an aside to Vinyl and Twilight. “I attended in the guise of Queen Alva, hereditary ruler of Equios, and I first met him then, at a state dinner following opening ceremonies. He kissed my hand and I never more wanted to wash it as afterwards.” She visibly shuddered. “I met him again a second time when he was seeking allies and international support for his takeover of the Sudetenland. As I bore blonde hair and fair skin, he thought I was of Germanic descent and thus appealed to my sense of ‘Aryan pride’, saying ‘such a strong line’ as my own obviously was should be able to appreciate what he was trying to do in building a ‘Greater Germany’ and master race.”
“Wow…” Maya was enthralled as she quickly looked up a picture of Hitler on her smartphone and then showed it to Vinyl and Twilight, who all but recoiled.
“Yeah… you can tell just by looking at him that’s a bad dude,” Vinyl noted.
“Those eyes are just… ugh. I don’t think any amount of Harmony would’ve helped him,” Twilight added, suppressing a shiver. She felt tempted to gently move over to Phoenix’s side in hopes of protecting him against such overwhelming evil and utter disharmony as she sensed, not certain at all she wanted to know more about the human or conflict the Princess spoke of.
Maya, however, was not so constrained. “Then when you met him, Princess… did you… know?” she had to ask.
Celestia looked up at Maya for a moment before answering. “Did I know then I was speaking to a man who would become one of the worst monsters of human history? No,” she said. “My powers do not include prescience. Though just like you, much about him chilled me to the bone. His manner of speech, the look in his eyes, his open desire for vengeance and conquest, his disharmonious disdain for all not of his race or nation… I had seen his ilk before and knew nothing good ever came of it. If anything, he reminded me a young King Sombra,” she shook her head, then turned to Twilight again as she saw her questioning expression. “Former ruler of the lost Crystal Empire, and one Luna and I fought a bloody war with some sixteen hundred years past.”
“So you knew then what Hitler might be capable of, and yet you took no action?” Edgeworth asked, shifting his queen to meet the new threat and taking a rook off the board with it.
“What action was there to take?” she asked in all seriousness, countering by moving up her remaining bishop. “To that point, he had not engaged in anything more than aggressive diplomacy, annexing Austria and remilitarizing the Rhineland, Miles Edgeworth. The latter was in violation of the Treaty of Versailles, certainly, but given how unfair that treaty was, it was hard to be too ‘up in arms’ over it. And domestically… he was popular with his people, having restored his nation’s economy and pride; he had not yet engaged in any real deprivations. Or at least, nothing that was not already happening on a far greater or bloodier scale in other nations,” she shook her head and sighed.
“Not a happy chapter of humanity’s history,” Edgeworth agreed, looking troubled but not taking his attention off the game, advancing another royal blue bat-pony pawn.
“Not at all,” she shifted a Canterlot Castle rook to counter. “But let us suppose for a moment, that I did intervene. That against all honor and harmony I covertly took his life or otherwise prevented his rise to power. The question then becomes… what follows?” she asked almost rhetorically. “Nothing good, I fear. His absence would leave a power vacuum in the middle of Europe. One vulnerable to a far different kind of monster that had already slain and enslaved millions of his own. One had no qualms about starving his own people or sacrificing countless soldiers to attain his aims. You know of whom I speak…?”
“Stalin,” Edgeworth echoed Phoenix’s immediate thought. “In a century full of butchers, he was amongst the worst.”
“Indeed,” she replied gravely, closing her eyes again. “In many ways, his deprivations and ruthlessness exceeded even Hitler’s. Millions dead in forced collectivization, millions more to die in his great purges and the war to come after he had already slain most of his best soldiers and generals. He slew more of his own people than Hitler killed in the Holocaust. And thus, a case could be made that he was the greater threat. That without a strong Germany to his west, without the rise of the Nazis and the coming of the Second World War, that the war would have instead erupted on far different terms. And worse, given Russia’s manpower reserves and industrial base, his Soviet Union would have eventually overrun the whole of Europe instead of only half.” She shook her head. “I do not pretend to know for certain this is what would have happened, but given the many lessons of history I have learned and lived through, it seems only too possible to me.”
“So better the devil you know? You’re saying that people like Hitler have purpose?” Maya was dubious, fascinated by the conversation even as Twilight was appalled.
“Unfortunately… yes,” Celestia closed her eyes. “Take it from me, Miss Maya—sometimes choices are not between good and evil, but between bad and worse. Sometimes you must make a distasteful judgement of which despot will do the less long-term damage,” she said as she shook her head. “Such was the case then. I knew dark days were coming, but my hope was that humanity would emerge much sadder and wiser for it, with lessons learned and friendships kindled. For such evil also spurs the greatest of courage and camaraderie to fight it, sparking the spreading of cultures and forging of friendships between nations and races that endure,” she pronounced solemnly.
“Historically, that has held for both our worlds. And the parallels do not stop there,” she went on. “You had Hitler. We had King Sombra. You had Genghis Khan. We had the Overmare. You had the Persian and Roman Empires. We had Spursia and Roam. You had Napoleon Bonaparte. We had Salvio Gaius, the great Gryphon General. Or Prelate, as they called him.”
“Oh, I read about him!” Twilight spoke up, fascinated by the game and the conversation, at how much of human history her mentor had known about or even experienced firsthoof. “They said he was one of the greatest military minds of all time. A master strategist who could pick apart the psyches of his opponents and tailor his responses to them.”
“Indeed,” Celestia’s eyes turned pained again for a moment. “His plan to conquer Equestria was appallingly brilliant and might have worked if not for the selfless sacrifice of a single spy. But having fought him, Firefly herself would say he was also fatally flawed in many ways. That much like your Napoleon, he was too enamored of his intellect and vulnerable to overreach. That for all his brilliance he often relied too heavily on subterfuge and maneuver; that he made his designs too complicated and thus too vulnerable to discovery or disruption. That when faced with an opponent of equal skill who lacked his ego, he was found wanting.”
“Wind Whistler,” Twilight guessed. “Only the second pony you ever gave the rank of Sun Master to?”
“Correct, my student,” Celestia said with a smile. “And I must say... I do see something of her in you, Twilight.”
Twilight blinked. “You do?”
“Your brilliant mind, your drive for knowledge, and above all else, your devotion to your friends; your willingness to do anything for them. You have much in common, which is hardly surprising… given Wind Whistler is your direct ancestor!” she twinkled.
Twilight’s mouth fell open. “She… is?”
Celestia chuckled at her student’s shock. “Not surprising you were unaware. Her hallmark was always her humility, and she did not wish her line to be tainted by the high expectations of her name. At heart, she was but a simple scholar and craftspony, a mere maker of whistles and windchimes before the war, and after…? She returned to that life, perfectly content in it, forgoing all fame to run her shop and raise a family. Though she was called back to duty one final time when Dragon Lord Diabla threatened…” she remembered as she moved a Knight forward. “Check.”
Edgeworth frowned, clearly not used to playing an opponent his equal or better. “The amount of history you have lived through on both worlds is truly remarkable, Princess. I must say, I am impressed that you chose not to abandon us for all you must have seen, even from afar.” He moved his king out of danger, at least temporarily.
“So why did you stick with us, Princess?” As usual, Maya asked the question Twilight and Phoenix was afraid to.
“A valid question. And my answer is one of the greatest lessons I can ever teach you, Twilight,” she said as she again moved to bracket Edgeworth’s King. “That to be capable of great good is to be capable of equally great evil… and vice-versa. There are no exceptions to this. Good and evil are but two side of the same coin; you cannot have one without the other. It holds true for you and for me, for both Earth and Equis, for all individuals and nations regardless of their race or world.
“And that, Miles Edgeworth, is why I did not abandon humanity even for all the atrocities I saw.” She turned her attention back to him. “For even in the midst of such awful evil, the greatest of courage and compassion was also present, nations and peoples that rallied to the defense of others to defeat evil. Friendships were forged and the lessons of the war applied; I note with great satisfaction that thanks to the aid offered them afterwards, the aggressors have become thriving republics that are forces for good and respect the lives of all. And that is the lesson I much prefer to draw from the horrors of humanity’s previous century.”
“I see… so you had no role in the war at all?” Edgeworth tapped a finger on his arm.
“Not entirely…” Celestia said as she shifted a pawn forward; Twilight recognizing that she was closing in. “I took a page, as you say, from help we received many centuries ago during war with the Gryphons. A rather… reclusive race aided us by working in the shadows and passing us occasional information and intelligence that helped us win battles or uncover agents. So during the Second World War of Earth, we did the same. My agents aided the French resistance, we sheltered some war refugees and intelligence operatives in Equios, and we even played a role in the first British capture of an Enigma coding machine in 1941.”
“Truly?” Edgeworth was impressed. “That action alone may have saved Britain.”
“Britain saved itself,” Celestia said adamantly. “And in doing so, perhaps all of Europe.”
“I would argue to the contrary,” Edgeworth pointed out as he made another move. “Without the Enigma, Britain might well have been starved into surrender for not being able to sink the Bismarck or route convoys around U-Boat ambushes. It would also have made the Africa campaign against Rommel far more difficult, as they would not have been so readily able to find and attack his supply convoys and eventually starve his forces of fuel.”
A quick explanation of the Bismarck and U-Boat warfare was given for the benefit of the two Equestrian girls. Twilight staggered at the notion of both surface and submersible warships that could weigh tens of thousands of tons, while Vinyl seemed only slightly less stunned, pointing out that not even their own world’s maritime power, the Zebras, could make ships that large, making Phoenix take a mental note to take the pair to the Battleship USS Iowa Museum located on the Los Angeles waterfront at some point in the future.
“My role in the Enigma’s acquisition was minor, but I’ll accept the praise nonetheless,” Celestia replied, making another move of her own. “However, though your point is taken, Miles Edgeworth, I stand by my statement that England saved itself. Through the sinking of the Bismarck, through the valor of its pilots in the Battle of Britain, through the civilian flotilla that rescued its trapped soldiers at Dunkirk in the face of enemy air attacks, through the simple steadfastness of the average British subject under threat of invasion and the bombers raining ruin on their cities.
“Take away any of them or the stalwart leadership of Winston Churchill, and perhaps we would be having a much different conversation right now,” she said gravely, to which Edgeworth could only nod slowly in response.
“Then if you met Hitler, did you meet Churchill?” Edgeworth asked as he studied the board and frowned as found his options now severely curtailed.
“I regret I did not,” she replied. “Though I did meet his predecessor, Neville Chamberlain, during the Sudetenland crisis and thought him a foal of the first order for seeking to appease an aggressive power, having made the mistake on multiple occasions myself. Despite his promise of ‘peace in our time’, I believe that is when I knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that war was inevitable and began planning appropriately, making arrangements and forming our own intelligence networks to aid the Allies where we could. Our role was small, but I hope, did make some difference.
“Understand, however, that what we did was not without risk. Had our actions been discovered, retribution would have been swift and terrible despite our professed neutrality. Had Hitler decided to punish us, or his interest in the occult led him to investigate rumors of strange magic in our land, there was little we could have done except evacuate. Thankfully, it did not come to that… though we did participate in one combat action during the closing days of the war.”
“Oh?” Edgeworth and Phoenix asked at once.
“The final days of the Third Reich were… chaotic as the Allies closed in from all sides and Germany’s remaining soldiers became ever more desperate and fanatical in their actions, most notably the regime’s SS enforcers. Civilians fled their deprivations as well as the advancing Soviets and some found their way to us. But two days before surrender, an SS company invaded Equios intending to kill the refugees we were sheltering and was… dealt with,” was all she would say, then made her final move. “Checkmate.”
Edgeworth closed his eyes and nodded slowly, then reached for his king and gently tipped it over, saying words Phoenix never thought he would hear from his prosecutor friend. “I surrender, Princess,” he stood and bowed to her. “Your power is vast, and yet it is for your intellect that I must admire you most. You are truly a remarkable being, possessing wisdom and cunning far beyond even your many years.”
She stood and bowed back. “Thank you, Miles Edgeworth. But be under no illusions—that wisdom was hard-earned, and both Equestria and its Solar Princess had their own bitter lessons to learn. History is a harsh teacher, and woe to those who do not learn from it.”
Her words brought a moment of brooding to her assembled friends, each lost in their own thoughts until Maya finally spoke up. “You know, as interesting as all this was, it’s way too heavy. This is supposed to be a party! Let’s lighten up, people! I wanna hit the beach!”
That seemed to break the spell as Celestia nodded and smiled. “You’re absolutely right, Miss Maya. We are here to have fun, so let us leave such unhappy talk behind, and enjoy ourselves.” With that, she stood up, a wave of magic passed over her, and when it was finished, she was wearing a rather revealing swimsuit, enjoying the reactions of all present from Edgeworth’s squirm to Twilight’s blush. “What?” she asked her speechless audience in perfect innocence. “I said I had a swimsuit!’ she said as she strode through them all like she was modeling it, calling her towel to her as she headed downstairs.
“Well. With apologies, Princess, I believe I should be off,” Edgeworth said, coughing a bit to regain his composure before giving her another deep bow. “If you ever wish another rematch, Miss Sparkle, you know where to find me.” With that, he collected his briefcase and departed after saying his goodbyes. The rest of the group then headed downstairs piecemeal, following Celestia until only Maya and Vinyl remained, cleaning up some of the drinks and trays.
“So after hearing all that, you still wanna go through with what your sister plans, filly?” Vinyl couldn’t help but ask with a lopsided grin, already knowing the answer.
“Are you kidding? Now more than ever!” Maya grinned back as they finished cleaning up and went inside to change, both thinking that evening couldn’t come soon enough.
