//------------------------------// // Chapter 3: Apples to Apple // Story: Anon Begins // by 23 KM To Nerdiness //------------------------------// I got this for....some reason, someone famous had this.....I can't remember! Right now, your mind is pissing you off. Twilight, Rainbow and Pinkie are working to keep you balanced, trying their damnedest to make sure you don't trip and bust your ass. Your head's not helping in the slightest, throbbing faster than your heart after a jog. You're staring at the cassette player, pondering. "Feeling any better, Anon?" Twilight asks calmly. "I guess," you sigh, clutching your forehead. "Still trying to wrap my head around things." I got this, cause I didn't want.......an apple........apple.......Apple! After some thinking, you get an idea. "Twilight, do you have Apple here?" you ask. "Yes, we do have apples here, but I don't see how that-" "Can you take me there?" "Sure, I guess. I know just the pony." she states assuringly. While trying to reach your destination, you notice the ponies in the area are giving you looks that make you feel a bit uneasy, specifically a mare with a light-aquamarine coat looking at your hands weirdly. In the pockets you go, hands. You and the others arrive at a festive wooden stand with hundreds upon hundreds of buckets filled with apples and you spot an orange coated mare with a blonde mane and a brown cowboy hat. You walk beside Twilight, looking up ahead to see where the apple store is anywhere, but to no avail. That is, until Twilight starts walking TOWARDS the cowpony! Twilight, where are you going?! "Hi, Applejack!" Twilight happily says. "Howdy, Twilight!" she greets in a southern accent. "What can I do for ya?" "My human friend, Anon here needs an apple......for some reason." Twilight states with a shrug. You look over the stand Applejack's behind. Nothing. But. APPLES. Twilight, I swear if this is what you THINK I'm talking about...! "Well, any friend of Twilight's a friend of mine. Here ya go, Anon. On the house!" she says tossing a shiny red apple to you. Through the powers of disbelief and betrayal, you catch the apple without flinching. You keep a stern look on your face. "Twilight..." you say calmly, forcing a smile. "Yes, Anon?" she answers innocently. "Do you know exactly what kind of Apple I'm talking about?" "Ooh, ooh!" shouts the pink nightmare. "Is this a guessing game? I LOVE guessing games!!! Ok. Is it yellow? Is it green? Is it a zap apple? It's a zap apple isn't it?!?!" "No, it's a phone." you say behind gritted teeth using every ounce of willpower in you not to bitch-slap somepony. "A whaa?" "A phone. You know, iPhone, Android, Samsung? You do have phones here, do you?" Pinkie's face is still as her eyes slowly drift off in opposite directions with no response. "We've never heard of such a thing. Care to elaborate for us?" Twilight chimes, failing to hide the notepad and quill under her wings. You should've known. If they had technology THAT advanced, they would've had cars and the children would have phones literally glued to their faces. You can't completely blame yourself either. They have working lamps, indoor plumbing, movie projectors, etc. and yet they don't have any form of communication besides sending letters. But alas, here you are, in front of dozens of ponies explaining the concept of phones. Never in a million years could you expect this. Well....here goes nothing. After a long session of explaining shit, you notice Twilight's working that quill to the feathers taking so many notes on this. Other ponies seem to get a kick outta this phone business. And there might be a slight chance that you convinced others that Samsung is superior... Anyways, you just about wrap up your little history lesson until- "Wait, why is it called 'Apple' again?" Pinkie Pie asks, frantically waving her hoof. "UUUUUGGHHH!!!" After ANOTHER painstakingly long session of explaining stuff, Twilight is practically geeking out with all this information, she looks like she found the meaning of life. Pinkie, still in confusion, raises a hoof to ask another question until Applejack and RD both block her muzzle with theirs. You mouth a 'thank you' to them and they nod. "This is so EDUCATIONAL!!!" Twilight squees like a little school girl, filly, whatever. It was actually kind of adorable. Almost got a 'dawww' out of you. But time's a wasting. You've got memories to recover! As everypony leaves, you hear the children beg their parents for a Samsung. Kid's got good taste. You mentally give yourself a pat on the back. Soon, you walk off towards......somewhere. Hey, now that you think of it- "Where am I gonna stay for the night?" you whisper to yourself. "You can stay at the castle if you'd like." Creepy how somepony heard you but who cares, all you heard was 'castle' and you were immediately sold. But then, you turn to the generous mare who offered you shelter, Twilight Sparkle, with the most bewildered smile you've ever seen in your life. At that moment all that hype disappeared and the creepy meter is sky high when it was HER offering you a place to stay. Don't take it the wrong, you're very grateful when it comes to dilemmas like this. You just have a thing about being wide awake at night, praying a lavender-coated equine doesn't come in and mercilessly dissect you for science, or something like that. But hey, someplace is better than no place, I suppose. But you have an ultimatum: Be homeless or Live in a castle with a 50/50% chance of being split open and studied... "I'd love to, but I wouldn't want to get in the way," you say, rubbing the back of your neck. "Besides, you'd actually take someone you just met in?" "Nonsense, of course I will!" Twilight scoffs. "I'm not called the 'princess of friendship' for nothing." She's got ya there. Eh, what the hay. If she does try anything, at least someone'll be interested in my body. Sad, I know. "Thank you, Twilight. I'll never forget this moment." If you still HAVE a brain by tomorrow morning to remember this moment. "No problem," she declares, triumphantly trotting down the dirt road. "You're our guest and new friend, and we'd NEVER leave anyone out in the cold." Not to sound sappy or anything, but something about your new friends and Twilight's statement just warms your heart and you almost think you might actually like this place. Almost. Every place has its weirdos... You catch up to Twilight as she waves goodbye to everypony. "See ya later, alligator!" Pinkie squeaks, hopping away. "NOT YOU, GUMMY!!!" "Hope ya find this 'Apple' of yours, Anon." Applejack says, nudging your leg. "But I guarantee you'll like the apples down at Sweet Apple Acres. They're DEEELICIOUS!" "I'm sure they are." you chuckle. "Steer clear from STRAWBERRIES!!!" she yells, galloping off. A yellow mare with a curly red mane nearby gives her the saltiest death glare as she leaves. The less you know, the better. "Stay cool, Anon." Dash nods before flying away. Wait, why is she going in a cloud HOUSE? "Uh, Twilight? How is Dashie able to live in a cloud in the sky?" Oooh, how you regret asking her that. As soon as that last syllable escaped your tormenting mouth, she begins gabbing on about this complicated way on how pegasi are able to be in the clouds, when really the answer you'd be okay with would've been magic. "Science babble, science babble, science babble." is all you heard. Reaching this supposed castle of the egghead, she suddenly drops this info on you: "What'd you need an iPhone for if you prefer Sumsang?" "SAMsung," you state. "And I don't really know. I thought, if I found one, maybe it'd help me remember why I have this cassette player. Obviously, I was wrong." "And what does THAT do?" Twilight says READY to punish that quill and pad once more. "One history lesson at a time, Sparkle. Long story short, it plays music." As you're fidgeting with the little device, you look up to see- HOLY CRAPBALLS, THAT'S HUGE!!! That's what she said! This castle is bigger than any building you've seen in this town. Is that made out of CRYSTALS?!?! Have you somehow stumbled into a Disney universe and through some mumbo jumbo spell, everyone turned into ponies? That'd be weirdly AWESOME! Yeah, I'm gonna like it here.