Dear Sunset Shimmer,
This seems like the craziest thing in the world but I'm going to try it. My therapist told me that if I wrote letters to you in a notebook it would help me cope, so here it goes.
It's been a month since I visited your gravesite and experienced the odd wind vortex toward the end of the visit. I felt as though you were trying to communicate with me somehow, but when I told the girls what happened, they all dismissed it as my mind playing tricks. As a result of them blowing me off, I began turning into someone that I hate. I don't know how to deal with this new personality and quite frankly, it's scaring the daylights out of me. Almost all of CHS has begun referring to me as ‘New Fluttershy’. It hurts my feelings when they call me that but for some reason it makes me devolve into this… ugly person.
Sunset, I really miss you and I would like to think that you wouldn't have sliced your wrists had I told you how I felt. It eats at me all the time knowing that I could've been the one to save you. Somehow I think that's partly the reason that I constantly get into arguments with the other girls on a daily basis. Poor Rainbow Dash avoids me because I've yelled at her the most. Sunset, I really wish you were here to give me advice and to help me through this troubling time.
All my love,
Fluttershy
Fluttershy closed the yellow spiral notebook and laid it on the nightstand; the pen placed in the drawer so it wouldn't be lost in the mess on the floor. She waded through the paper plates, empty soda and pet food cans, and week-old dirty laundry toward the mirror on her closet door.
Maybe no one will recognize me for a few days and I'll quit getting picked on, she thought as she ran her fingers through her self-cut hair. It wasn't cut evenly but she honestly didn't care. Her long, pink locks that she had been growing since eighth grade was now gone and would not be returning anytime soon. Maybe losing the eyeshadow will help blend me into the crowd…
As she reached for a moist towelette to clean her face, a noise from the direction of the doorway caught her attention. Angel Bunny had entered her bedroom and bounded up the miniature staircase to her bed. He sat down, crossed his forelegs, and rapidly tapped his left rear foot in disapproval of his owner's appearance.
“What?” Fluttershy asked as their eyes locked.
Angel made a bunch of gestures with his paws in an attempt to communicate with her. Upon getting no reply from Fluttershy, he scratched the bottom of his chin before jumping off the bed and crawling underneath it. Fluttershy tilted her head in confusion as she observed his odd behavior.
“Um, Angel? Why are you going under my bed?” she asked, following him.
There was some rustling of paper and clanking of cans underneath the bed, along with a few other noises that she couldn't quite identify. After a minute or two, he wiggled back out from under the bed. Fluttershy’s attention was immediately drawn to the object dangling from Angel’s mouth.
“My… geode?” asked Fluttershy. “I got rid of it weeks ago.”
Angel hopped back on the bed and set the pink and yellow necklace in her hand. She looked at her geode which began to emit a very faint glow.
“...you get rid of it?”
“Um, I didn't quite catch the entire question. Could you repeat it, please?” Fluttershy asked as she squatted down to look her pet in the eyes.
“Why in the heck did you get rid of your geode?”
Fluttershy thought a moment. “I guess it’s because Sunset isn't around anymore and I felt that without her, it wouldn't be useful anymore.”
“But you always loved talking to us, especially when you were feeling down. What changed?”
“I don't know, Angel,” she said as she took a more comfortable position on the bed. “I fell in love with Sunset and then she, you know, did what she did.”
“Mom, you know we all care about you and we hate seeing you like this.”
“I know, but I just don't know how to deal with these emotions,” Fluttershy said as tears began to escape her eyes. “It's been so tough. I honestly think the girls hate me now because of how I've acted toward them.”
“I’m pretty sure they don't hate you.”
“No offense, Angel, but you haven't seen how I've talked to them in the last two months,” Fluttershy said, wiping her eyes. “Angel, I cussed out Rainbow Dash the other day over asking me a question about our homework. That's it. She has been my friend since kindergarten and I've been so mean to her and it hurts.”
Angel hopped onto her lap and nuzzled against her jaw. “Why don't you do something to take your mind off of all this?”
Fluttershy looked at the disaster area that was once her bedroom and answered, “Well, I guess I could start by cleaning up this place.”
“I meant that you should do something in memory of Sunset. It could probably help out a bunch.”
Fluttershy laid down on her back and stared at the ceiling, trying to think of ways to honor her crush’s memory. Then it hit her. “What about some kind of program that teaches people about depression and how to watch for suicide in others?”
“That's more like it.”
Fluttershy’s excitement began to dissipate almost as quickly as it appeared. She began mentally going through the checklist to pull something like that off and she soon found herself being overwhelmed.
“Are you okay?”
“Um, yeah, I suppose,” replied Fluttershy. “This idea would take more than I'm able to handle to pull off.”
Angel jumped off the bed and left the room. A couple minutes later he returned, hopping backward, dragging a picture of the Rainbooms in his teeth. He pointed to the photo and said, “What about asking your friends to help you?”
Fluttershy reached down and picked up both Angel and the photo. A moment later she broke the silence. “I'm not sure I have friends anymore.”
“I’m pretty sure they're still your friends.”
“You really think so?”
“Sure do. Now I think a call to Pinkie is in order.”
After Pinkie answered the phone, Fluttershy asked her, “Pinkie, I have two questions: are you mad at me and how fast can you put a rally together?”
Fluttershy stood on the stage looking out at the gymnasium. The first half of the first annual Sunset Shimmer Memorial Suicide Awareness Rally at CHS, which was a rousing success so far, had just wrapped up.
During the first half, Nurse Redheart had presented a slideshow with warning signs of suicide and depression. Various students shared their thoughts and concerns regarding the topic. Others, including the Rainbooms, shared some of their favorite stories of Sunset. However, the most emotional response from the student body came when Fluttershy told the story of her helping Sunset through all the nights of her depression.
The students were now helping to put the folding chairs away so that the “carnival” portion could get started. Fluttershy was elated as to how well the event was received; not just by Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna but also by the student body.
“This event has been quite the success, hasn't it?” a voice behind her said, causing her to jump slightly.
As she regained her composure, Fluttershy replied, “Why, yes it has. I'm just surprised that anyone wanted to attend after how mean I've been.”
The firm but gentle grip on Fluttershy's shoulder caused her to turn and lock eyes with Vice-Principal Luna. “You've been through a lot in the last few months and I'm pretty sure most of them know this,” Luna said with a small smile.
"I know but..."
"But nothing. Recovery from a traumatic event is a difficult process," Luna said. "You've got your friends and the therapist to help you through it, which is a lot more than other people have."
"About that..." Fluttershy said as she twirled some of her hair around her index finger, "I actually stopped seeing Dr. Hindsight before I visited Sunset's grave last month."
"Why would you do that?"
"I, um, I kind of shared some feelings with him before I wanted to," Fluttershy said as she tugged on the hair that was twisted on her finger. "Then I visited Sunset's grave and the girls didn't believe me when I told them what happened there. So I decided that I didn't want his advice anymore and just stopped going."
Luna pulled Fluttershy into a gentle embrace said, "I'm sorry things aren't working out the way you'd like. Remember though, my sister and I will always be here if and when you need someone to talk to."
"Thank you but that's not what you wanted to talk to me about, is it?” Fluttershy asked.
“No, it isn't. As you may know, the school board wants us to take down the memorials for Sunset and Twilight. Unfortunately, that wasn't a request from them. My sister tasked me with the responsibility of removing them,” Luna said as her face slowly hardened. “I decided to leave the photos up until after the rally today but I took the time to clean out the inside of the lockers this morning.”
“You found something important in them, didn't you?”
Luna reached into her back pocket and pulled out an envelope. “I found this underneath Sunset’s books. It looks like something she meant to give to you before she committed suicide.”
Fluttershy took the envelope and looked at it. On the envelope, in Sunset’s handwriting, showed the following:
To my dear friend Fluttershy 💕
“Are you okay, Fluttershy?” Luna asked as she spotted a tear slowly make its way down the teenager's cheek.
“I, um, I need to be alone for a few minutes, Vice-Principal Luna,” Fluttershy whispered.
“Very well."
Fluttershy removed the contents of the envelope as Luna walked away. She unfolded the letter and a photograph, that was wrapped within the paper, fluttered to the ground. She reached down and picked up the photo and held it behind the letter. More tears filled her eyes as she read what was essentially a suicide note.
Dear Fluttershy,
I don't know how to put into words how much I appreciate all that you've done for me in the past six weeks. I've been so lonely without Twilight and your company helped immensely. I felt that you needed to know this.
I also wanted to say that I'm sorry. I noticed you had begun developing feelings for me during this short time and to be honest I was developing feelings for you. Please don't be mad at me for that. I never told you about them because I didn't want anything to happen to you like what happened to Twilight. You're a sweet person and I hope someday you'll find that person you deserve.
I just wanted you to know how I felt toward you but I couldn't figure out how to tell you. Maybe I can let you know before this letter gets to you. Thank you for everything.
Love,
Sunset
She looked around the gymnasium to see if anyone was paying attention to her before slipping behind the bleachers. She sat on the floor and stared at the photo that Sunset had left for her. Heartbreak filled Fluttershy’s body to the point that her crying wasn't even making any sounds anymore.
The minutes felt like hours as Fluttershy wept, hidden and alone. Soon a shadow cast itself over Fluttershy and a hand gently touched her back. She looked to see who it was and found Vinyl Scratch squatting down next to her.
"Yo, Fluttershy. You okay?"