-Fluttershy-
Why did I agree to this? I did a lot of dumb things for Rainbow, I guess I was just so used to acquiescing to demands from friends that I agreed to this almost immediately. There is something I could use Jade’s help with though, she seems to be able to do just about anything she puts her mind to with the help of her friends.
“Okay have we got everything, we’re only going to be able to do everything once people! Mostly since they’ll make laws to prevent this from happening again.” It seemed Jade was a bit high strung at the moment. “Plastic ten gallon jug loaded with banana pudding and cake mix?”
“Yes.” Jacky was stuffing it into the party cannon Pinkie got for her, it was nice that she was going to actually use it. Well she was from an island of scary pirates, so she would have eventually anyway I guess.
“Someone help us all if you miss your shot due to bad luck.” Why did Jade have to make me a feel a chill down my spine, I wasn’t going to be directly involved in any of this and even that made it sound dangerous. “Fizzle, bag of torches and self-sustain effect cloak?”
“Got it right here Jade, I also have my route planned. I’m not relying on anything anyone can move and I double checked the time between needing to take those stamina potions.” It sounded like Fizzle had a really tough job ahead of her, she had a one flap bag hanging around her chest and right leg. Sticking out of it were hoof made torches and two corked bottles with strange bright purple fluids. “They don’t make the aching muscles go away afterwards, but those things can keep me going as if I were on an adrenaline rush. Mom, you do really good work.”
“Thank you my sweet little pony.” Kuril was a good mother.
“We’ll try and figure out a horn restoring potion if magical alchemy alone can’t solve the problem. Next…. mom, massive quantities illusion dust?” As Jade went onto the next thing, I began to wonder how they were paying for all this stuff they were using.
“It’s like was born to make illusion dust my little tom cat. I’m definitely a witch with the right stuff.” What was illusion dust, it sounded really magical Kuril. “Our zebra friend might not have an easy time of it as a seasonal thing, but I don’t have that same issue with my magical cooking prowess to speed things up. Also having a massive bag with the same effect as your pack to keep the stuff in top quality conditions helps.”
“Maries, do you have a briefcase, documents, parade dragon costume and a rubber chicken?” Jade rattled off.
“Yes, we’ve got all that settled Jade.” Mara had a portion of the parade dragon costume scrunched up under her right paw. Next to her Maria held a briefcase in her mouth, it was likely filled with the documents they needed for whatever reason. Maries lifted her head high and spoke. “We’re ready for all legal issues of everything we’re going to do, I assure you. Heck most of this won’t likely even be illegal or at least nobody would be able to stick us with any out and out crime, except maybe for the theft of an illegal airship. At most we might end up paying a fine, but I doubt it will come to pass. I’m personally surprised and a bit stunned that there are no laws against using a rubber chicken like that.”
“Yes, Jade should definitely become an evil mastermind.” No she shouldn’t Fizzle, that wouldn’t be very… oh. You were being sarcastic weren’t you? “Would the rubber chicken thing even feasibly work?”
“It better, I spent a lot of time trying to work a rubber chicken into my plan just because it would be too bizarre not to at this point.” Even when you explained it to me Jade, I still couldn’t figure out if you were serious or joking about how you were going to utilize the rubber chicken. I really didn’t need to know what you were going to do with it specifically and now I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
This all seemed really crazy to me, why was I taking part in this again? Well it wasn’t like I was going to do anything big or noticeable and I did want that favor.
“Arizona, got the cow bell?” The young cow rolled her eyes at Jade and just smirked. “Okay, I’ll take that as a yes, because goodness knows where you even keep getting them from. You’ll be with Jacky on takedown duty after she fires the shot that will keep Celestia from interfering for a while.”
“Can’t wait to crack some armor, this is going to be one big hoedown!” I didn’t like Arizona very much, she was very aggressive for such a young cow. She kind of reminded me of Rainbow Dash in a lot of ways, also Gilda… was I blushing?
“The last things we need, well I already have them on me.” Jade produced three items from her pack. One was a visor of some kind with a griffon’s styled visage on it. The next was a red flag with a bunny symbol at the top and the word’s 'Petty Kitty' written on it. The last thing was a simple yellow ocarina. “A flag, a griffon mask and an ocarina.”
“What does the mask do exactly Jade?” The only response Fizzle got was a rather insane grin from Jade.
Oh dear, it was something horrific wasn’t it? Kuril and Jade’s magical alchemy did all sorts of weird things and this must have been something really, really strange. I was afraid of what the answer was, but Jade never answered and just continued to grin as she walked away.
-Aboard The Ardent Survivor, midday above Canterlot with Maries.-
“You know if we get caught, then we can’t defend our actions as well as if we didn’t get caught.” Of the three of us Maria was the most worried about all we would be doing. Our part of the plan was to make an escape route for Jade, if that wasn’t possible then we would at least inform others of things going wrong at that part of the plan.
“The problem is the usage of the rubber chicken and when we use it. It is mockery at its finest, but it is not illegal to use in such a manner. I triple checked while you and Marie were asleep.” Two thirds of us were surprised that Mara actually triple checked our findings.
“That’s a bit surprising coming from you Mara.” Why is that Marie? You may be the most of our intellect and Maria is the most of our caution, but I am the most aggressive in all things.
“Yes and it is up to us to make sure Jade can walk away with currency if she goes through illegal incarceration.” No matter what, I am the drive that keeps us going. I will push us to make sure we succeed in all our endeavors as is my part of our whole. “Our prospective mates want our help, so we will oblige by doing all this as one and eventually… we may be able to eventually ask one or both of them out on a date!”
“Yeah, but where will we go and what will we do for the date that doesn’t result in mass panic?” Maria was always the one to throw in a good thought and the other two of us acknowledged this.
“Who says the date has to be to a place of civilization?” Why did I of the three of us have to open my mouth about that, I Bloody Marie do hereby declare myself an idiot as part of the large whole of the Bloody Maries collective. I hadn’t exactly wanted my sisters to get wind of this idea.
“What do you mean Marie?” Mara turned to me as I looked over the side of the airship towards Canterlot. Then Maria turned to me as well. “Yeah sis, what gives?”
“A date does not necessarily exclusively mean having a meal at a restaurant and or going to locations in civilization to spend time with someone you wish to eventually mate with once you are old enough. To remind you, none of us are old enough according to Matriarch Kurilian.” Well Marie, in for a bit, in for a solid pound of them. So I may as well lay it out to the front two dunderheads. “It is just the meaning of how most civilizations do it. Our date could simply consist of us taking Jade on a fishing trip, since it is a activity we’ve heard that she enjoys from her place of birth. We can also invite prospective mate Fizzlepop on a nature walk and talk to her more. So technically speaking, we don’t have to worry about causing a panic when we do go on our dates. We will cause a panic if we have to do what Jade says we will if we fail to achieve our portion of the mission’s parameters.”
“Yack, yack, yack, all I’m hearing is we’ve definitely got something to do later with Fizzle and Jade.” How astute of you Maria. “So what was the route again? Oh thanks Mara, you seemed to have burned it into all our collective brains.”
“I’m just not leaving anything to chance, unlike our prospective mate Jade does.” We all agreed that the chances of certain things going wrong were pretty high.
-Fizzle, Canterlot that evening.-
Walking around the streets, I was making sure that the set ups were still in place and that no one has tampered with them. This evening was going to be quite chaotic, I looked to Fluttershy who seemed nervous about everything we were doing. I had my cloak on, hood up and a hat over my horn just to make sure nobody causes a scene if my hood gets blown off for any reason.
“You okay there Fluttershy?” The shy pony really didn’t seem like she wanted to take part in any of this.
“I’ll be okay Fizzle, it’s just that there are so many ponies around here.” Right there with you Fluttershy, I didn’t do too well in crowds either with my horn exposed to the world.
“I can understand the feeling, I don’t like other ponies staring at what sets me apart from normal unicorns.” I turned to move away and stopped. “I’ll be watching you, you’ll be fine Fluttershy. Just give me the signal and then get away to a nice spot to watch things play out.”
“O-okay Fizzle, I will.” It seemed Fluttershy was determined to stay and help us with this crazy scheme.
All I had to do now is get into position, watch out for Fluttershy and wait for the signal.
Jade was going to actively rile up Shining Armor, one of the royal guards she met the other day. She may have made a few excuses as to why she was going to do it as part of her plan, but I knew the truth.
Knowing Jade as well as I do, she was likely going to be a petty kitty about something. She hardly let things go by without retaliation, unless someone knew they happened so that they could reason with Jade about it.
I unfortunately didn’t know if Jade had something to be petty about, I was just assuming she did because of the whole rubber chicken thing. I wouldn’t be entirely surprised if something happened to Jade during her portion of the plan, her portion was the most difficult to escape from, which is why Maries are the backup plan for Jade.
Just so long as Jade isn’t hurt badly and is able to come home safely, I’ll be just fine.
-Jade, outside Canterlot Castle.-
I chewed on the honey bun, it was so soft, sweet and delicious. Donut Friendly Joe knows how to make them and be a secret agent on top of being a popular low key establishment.
I was going to need the sugar for all the calisthenics I was going to be doing, outrunning the royal guard wasn’t easy I’ll have you know. Yes, a lot of them were very much incompetent, but their numbers were not to be scoffed at.
Shining Armor was the real problem. The guy would eventually earn his captain of the royal guard position, but today was not that day. He was still a low rank nobody among the royal guard, one that I was about to lure into being a patsy. He was entirely unimportant to my plan, but if I could get him to rile up a number of guards to give chase to me then that would be a success on my part.
It was going to be rough keeping my pack sustained, I couldn’t use my knife’s sustain and had to do this on my own merits. I could still cast, but I didn’t have the resources. I was going to have to make do without my usual loadout of magical alchemy sustain items.
“Hey Shining Armor, guess what?” Groaning at the sound of my cheeky voice was his first response. He was thankfully still on shift and had yet to be swapped out with the night guard. Shining really didn’t like me being friends with Cadence, which was tough luck for him. “You are completely right to be suspicious of me! Isn’t that great for you?”
I liked Cadence and being her friend, though this action might strain our friendship a bit. There were also a few things I didn’t like about Cadence. She was a major girly girl for one, most of my friends were tom cats like me only less masculine than I was.
Jacky didn’t care much for feminine looks, but she was cute and kept that look working for her. She didn’t care for looking better than cute. Fizzle only kept her appearance tidy and didn’t really go all out feminine like she did on our date, I even know for a fact that the eye shadow was definitely mom’s idea and she must be seriously awkward when it comes to prettying herself up.
“What are you talking about?” He turned towards me more alert than before, so did his partner and the two other guards with him.
“Well, I've done my job for the ‘Glasses and Staches’ Company. Now I can carry out my nefarious plot!” Well they seemed to be a bit dull at my proclamation, they were all staring at me. A solid minute passed and one of three other guards coughed into his hoof, I sighed. Okay plan C then. “Okay, fine, you’re not interested in asking. I’ll just have to say something that will get your attention! I’m going to tell Cadence what you really think of her O and O playing skills.”
“You most evil and utterly vile fiend!” Shining Amor shouted, I started running as he had nearly nailed me with a magic blast. “Get her!”
He apparently took his O and O games as seriously as the rest of the people who lived at Airship Mauled! Thankfully Shining Armor had fired first, so I cannot be held accountable for any of the guards I injured for making empty threats. This made me wonder how bad a player Cadence was.