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// Special:  Rubbing Salt in the Wound 
// Story: Unpleasant Correspondence 
// by StormLuna 
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Dear Twiskank, 

As you know it was not long after our musical number that I befriended Starlight but it was in more ways than one.  Yes we are good friends but guess what?  I initiated her and then she gave me horn sex!  That's right, I initiated her!  I know for so long you have wanted to initiate me but you may as well forget it now.  Starlight beat you to the punch, not to mention she is far more attractive than you'll ever be. 

Now I certainly don't expect you to change your ways but I am certain that Princess Celestia won't mind it if Starlight was to take that star off your ass if you ever try anything like you have for the last five years again.  Now Starlight and I will continue to have our fun but as far as you go, gross!  To be honest, I'm even giving up Rarity because Starlight is much, much better than she is.  Even better, not only is she good in the sack, but my animals love her and she likes them too so I know she is the ultimate friend.  

Hoping You'll Finally Realize You Can't Initiate Me Anymore, 

Fluttershy 





Dear Twibitch, 

Guess what, Starlight has befriended us!  Even though she was a bitch in the past, stole our marks and nearly fucked up the time continuum, we are now friends.  Unlike your sorry ass, she actually takes part in the activities we enjoy and Applejack is particularly impressed with not just her applebucking skills but her enthusiasm when it comes to helping her. 

What a shame Celestia wouldn't just make Starlight a princess, have her take over for you and evict you from our lives.  Life would truly be perfect if she would do that. 

Now we are all pretty sure that you must be really down in the dumps after what Fluttershy told you but we don't give a shit.  We are glad that Fluttershy initiated Starlight and vice versa.  We all had a feeling that one day Fluttershy would come across a hot mare, initiate her and crush your fragile libido one of these days and finally that day has arrived. 

Feel free to hide out in your sleeping chambers and wallow in self-pity.  Starlight has much better things to do than study friendship with you, she can study it with us and since we are actually friends with her, she will learn it even better. 

Laughing Over Your Failure, 

Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack and Rainbow Dash 





Dear Slutershy and other inferiors, 

You fucking little whore!  Was this your plan all along?  Was it your plan to whore yourself out to Starlight solely to spite me?  You know damn good and well that I wanted to initiate you but you take all my chances away by screwing my new student?  It is shit like this that is why I will never think of you as a friend.

And for the rest of you, go to Tartarus.  I want nothing to do with any of you so I'm spending a few months in the spa.  Perhaps one of you can take Spike in because I don't feel like dealing with him either. 

Pissed at All of You, 

Your Superior, Princess Twilight Sparkle





Dear Starlight Glimmer, 

How could you fucking do this to me?  I take you in as a friendship student and not only do my acquaintances suddenly befriend you but Fluttershy initiates you?  You have no idea how fucking humiliating this is.  I am the Princess of Friendship and yet it is my acquaintances who are already teaching you that friendship is magic and in the case of Fluttershy, friendship with benefits being magic.

Don't count on me teaching you any friendship anytime soon because I'm taking a several month long vacation in the spa.  Oh and I'm locking the castle so you can just sleep with Fluttershy for a few months.  Mark my words though, you will pay for taking my Flutters away from me, I was supposed to initiate her, not her initiate you!

Already Needing A Break From You, 

Princess Twilight Sparkle





Dear Twilight, 

Look, I'm sorry ok.  Your acquaintances are all really nice and the activities we did together were really fun and what happened with Fluttershy was totally unexpected but mark my words, I will protect her at all costs from your overblown sex drive.  You will not initiate her, ever.  With me and Discord on her side, she will never have to worry about you, ever! 

Protecting My Friend, 

Starlight Glimmer 





To Equestria's Biggest Crybaby, 

Awww....is my widdle pwincess all saddy waddy because of what happened?  I told you that someday a mare would come along and Fluttershy would initiate her and I am glad that time finally came.  I am so happy that it wound up being the same pony who nearly destroyed your life multiple times over though, it must feel like salt being rubbed in an open wound, right?

Oh and regarding the rest of your acquaintances, I am so happy that Starlight was able to become friends with them too.  I suppose this shouldn't surprise me given that Starlight is truly remorseful for what she has done while you are just a self-entitled bitch who has never wanted to embrace real friendship. 

Now if God-Emperor Goldner weren't so adamant about keeping a failure like you as the "Princess of Friendship," I'd alter your title to being "The Princess of Failure," ascend Starlight and all your acquaintances and make them "The Princesses of Friendship" since they actually understand the concept.  Oh well, I suppose he likes seeing you bring about misery and heartache everywhere you go even more than I do. 

Oh and on a final note, "Damn it sucks to be you!" 

Princess Celestia 





Dear Twilight, 

I heard about everything that has gone on and I must say that I am not impressed.  I am so disappointed in you that I don't want any action from you until after the doctors clear me after the baby's birth so I would advise you go and be the exclusive lover of those spa twins. 

Sincerely, 

Princess Cadence 





To the Worst Sister-in-law ever, 

What?  Just because I have a bad episode of jealousy and anger you suddenly won't put out for me?  What a truly terrible sister-in-law you are.  Hell I wouldn't be one bit surprised if you didn't meet some other unicorn and are getting it on with her!  Don't worry, I have my spa twins so going without you won't be as big of a loss as it may seem. 

Angry with You, 

Princess Twilight Sparkle 





Dear Mistress Twilight Sparkle, 

Don't worry, we are here for you, we will always be here for you.  Tell you what, how about you move in with us, we will shut down shop until the start of next season and we will give you all the pampering you could ever want. 

Love, 

Aloe Vera & Lotus Blossom 





Dear Aloe and Lotus, 

I would really love that girls.  You two are way too good to me and as far as your plan goes, I would love that.  At least you two are always there for me when nopony else ever is. 

Love, 

Mistress Twilight Sparkle