The next morning, after I had cleaned up, my thoughts were still in a turmoil. I didn't want anypony to worry, so I fell back on my usual routine of fake happiness. After a long time as a human, this shouldn’t be a problem to pull off with the ponies. I was pretty confident that I could fool Twilight, Spike, and even Rainbow Dash. However, the real test would be Pinkie, Fluttershy, and, if I ever ran into her, Applejack. It then occurred to me that life here was feeling more and more like on Earth. Nothing I did seemed to totally please everypony: Twilight would go off on me about why she arranges things or would just pester me with questions on Earth, Rainbow would make some snarky comment on my flying (despite Fluttershy’s best efforts), and while most ponies appeared to have put my romp through town behind them, I knew that that was the first thing that came to mind when they saw me. Fluttershy and Pinkie, on the other hoof, were the only bright spots in my days. Neither gave me any reason to think they were anything but authentic in their comments, and made me really work hard to please them.
The buttery smell of pancakes brought me out of my thoughts in time to prevent me from faceplanting into the dining room door. This allowed me to gather my courage before entering the dining room, where all the sights and smells had my mouth watering. Twilight and Spike were already eating, and as I filled my plate, we talked about the events of the other day and I apologized for being short with her.
A couple of weeks passed since my crash landing, although I really felt that I was better a few days later. Fluttershy didn’t want to take any chances, however, and my mood dropped like a stone for letting her down. Once again, I was reminded of my failure to protect Sarah, that weight on my shoulders as heavy as the car I drove. The thought was pushed out of my mind as I worked on my senses, kept my wings preened properly (I had to remove a couple of feathers already), and did wing-ups to help them get stronger. My injuries healed to the point where you’d be hard-pressed to notice that anything had happened to me. Fluttershy was kind and patient as always, despite my failure.
As far as Pinkie went, I would stop by every morning on the way to train with Fluttershy to pick up either a muffin or a cupcake. She would tell me a joke or some sort of funny story, which brightened my mood. She was totally true to the show, in that her goal was to have everypony be her friend and she loved to see her friends smile.
My flight wasn’t the only thing I worked on to better myself; how I treated Twilight, for example. Ever since I appeared in Equestria, I’ve done nothing but make her life more difficult. I could only imagine what her reports to Princess Celestia looked like. To this end, I resolved to treat her with more respect as befitted a princess, despite her reluctance to flaunt her status. She kept putting my pay in her safe, separate from the other bags of bits she had.
Spike, meanwhile, wasn’t as oblivious to my attitude changes as I had thought. Actually, he was quite observant most of the time. Even though a smile was on my face, my lethargic movement at times gave away my true feelings. He hadn’t said anything to me about it, but somehow, I could tell. After some of my discussions with Twilight, he would give me that look that basically said, 'So you're going with that story, eh?'. Even if we hadn’t said anything to each other about this, I was ever so grateful for him to let me work this out on my own. Maybe one of those unspoken ‘guy’ things, even if he’s a dragon.
I still took it easy with regards to my chores around the castle, especially the library, which reminded me the most about mom – before she had gotten too weak to hold one, she always loved reading a good book, and we practically had a library in what was a meager house to begin with. Most of my mistakes in cleaning occurred here, where I was completely distracted by memories. On more than one occasion, Twilight would go into her ‘lecture mode’ about why she had things organized the way she did. When she wasn’t doing that, I’d get peppered with more questions about where I came from. My heart would beat faster when Twilight would suggest even a full meeting with her until I basically told her I didn’t think I was ready to talk to her quite yet. My unwillingness to talk about my issues would cause Twilight to start mumbling something. While a part of me wanted to know what she was saying, it was overridden by the dark cloud that hung over me.
Sometimes, my chores would take me around town, and I would notice an odd rustling that seemed to follow me, even though there was no breeze. Even when I used my senses, I couldn't get a clear picture as to what was causing it. It didn't worry me too much, since nothing here was actively out to get me, excluding Rainbow's tackle that first day.
I was starting to get a little stir crazy, being grounded like this, but at the same time my resolution to follow Fluttershy’s flying advice overruled any objections I may have had. My depression got pushed to the side as her house came into view, still one of the few times a day I'm truly in a happy place. Hopefully she’d let me do some hovering today, “Hello, Fluttershy. I’m ready for some more training. I’m feeling great,” I spread my wings to show her and put my saddlebags on the ground near a tree, ironically the same tree I crashed into weeks earlier that grounded me. This session just had to be perfect—my earlier failure made it a requirement in my mind as I didn’t want to fail her again.
“Excellent. I have to take care of a couple of animals in back and we can begin.”
“Do you mind if I join you?”
“Um...sure. If you really want to.”
We walk around until a familiar face reared his head - that squirrel that was laughing at me during my initial flying lessons. “Well, well, who do we have here? How are you doing, Squirrely?” He chittered back at me.
"It seems that he's taken a liking to you, Maverick."
I knew what she was trying to do, but I wasn't ready to open up yet, "I think I see that, even if our initial encounters were less than amicable."
"Well, that does it for my chores for now. Ready to start your session?"
"Ready!" I responded as enthusiastically as I could.
After our usual bout of wing-ups, she had decided that I could start hovering again. I stayed low to the ground and moved about, thinking that the wing-ups must be helping as after about 10 minutes of constant hovering my wings didn’t feel all that tired or stressed.
“Great work, Maverick!” she said as she beamed with pride.
Her praise lifted my spirits, “Thanks! I’m also feeling everything in the air like you described. I’ve never felt anything like it before, but I can totally see how it works now. I feel like I’m closer than ever to really flying.”
“I’m proud of you! Especially since you never knew anything about flying and senses before. Based on how you did today, I think you may be ready for some short glides tomorrow. Be back here at the same time, ok? I have a few other appointments that I need to take care of, otherwise we would be doing more today.”
“That’s alright, Fluttershy. I’ve taken enough of your time already, and I appreciate your help.”
Fluttershy must have noticed something in my voice as she asked, “Maverick, is there something wrong?”
“No, everything’s fine.” Fluttershy didn’t need to be involved in my problems.
I got my saddlebags back on and left the meadow, trotting through town. Ponies I passed would greet me by saying ‘hi’ or raising a hoof, so I greeted them in kind. It was enough that Twilight was getting curious, but given what happened when I returned after my accident and the incident with Spoiled Rich, I shouldn’t be surprised. I made up my mind that I would talk to her once I got back to the castle. That plan took a little pause when I approached SugarCube Corner, however, as the thought that picking up some sweets for Twilight and Spike would help smooth things over. I got a couple of vanilla cupcakes with chocolate frosting for Twilight and myself, and one with gems for Spike. Pinkie helped me select the one that was his favorite, as I wasn’t sure which one would be the best. She also had another joke for me, which only served to brighten my already brighter than normal mood.
When I reached the castle, I made a quick dash to my room. A knock on my door startled me, but turned to be a blessing in disguise, since Twilight was there with what I assumed were more chores.
“Good afternoon, Maverick. I hope your training went well. If you would like to come down to the dining room, Spike and I were about to eat, then these chores need to be worked on.”
“Thanks, Twilight. I am kinda hungry after today.” my stomach rumbled at the mention of being hungry.
“Sounds like your stomach agrees with you. Let’s go.”
“Twilight, before we go, I feel I owe you an apology. I had returned from Rarity’s not in the best of moods and shrugged you off.”
She gave me a compassionate look, “Maverick, Spoiled Rich can be a pain to deal with even on a good day. Those that aren’t familiar with her would have a problem with her attitude. I don’t hold your response against you.”
“Nonetheless, Twilight, what happened before Rarity intervened was pretty basic. I was about to move the last ponyquin that Rarity asked me to take care of when she came in. I held my tongue, because I didn’t want to start anything, and then got her dress as she requested. She then starts going on about my…activities…through town that first day and would’ve run me out of town. I didn’t help matters by stating I was glad it wasn’t up to her. After that, everything went downhill as she started insulting me all over the place. I honestly don’t remember much of it as I think I was in shock from her attitude. It was at that point, I think, that Rarity came out, and you know the rest.”
Judging by her look, she wasn’t happy with my treatment. I quickly informed her that I was ok and to not worry about it anymore. I even added that I’ve put it behind myself, hoping she would buy it and stop her inquiries. It worked and we moved on. I was genuinely impressed with myself that I fooled her.
We headed to dinner, where a nice vegetable and pasta dish was sitting on the table, along with some salad and crisp bread rolls that smelled like they just came out of the oven. We had some wine to drink, and as I popped some of the pasta in my mouth, I was again surprised at the flavors that greeted me. After dinner, there was some pumpkin pie a la mode, one of my favorites, in addition to the cupcakes I brought. When I took a bite, however, memories of happier times with mom surfaced, when I practically ran over my brother to get the first slice at a picnic. Sarah and I would also go on picnics, and despite Twilight and Spike making things a little better, my memories weighed on me like a ton of bricks, enough so that I excused myself to start my chores early and on my own.
Spike joined me shortly and we worked on the list together again. By that time, I was over my reminiscing about mom and Sarah, so our work proceeded swiftly. My ability to hover again helped, and I paid closer attention to how long I did that so I wouldn’t run into the same problem as before.
The night was another troublesome affair, which meant that I got up earlier than I had planned...again. I panted while I gathered my senses, a small part of me thinks I should talk to somepony, however, the majority of me voted to keep this quiet. No one listened to me when I was human, why would being a pony be any different?
I went to take a shower to clean off the sweat after waking up. While it hasn’t proved helpful to make me feel better, I was clean. I preened, got my saddlebags, then had some breakfast of eggs and hash browns Spike had made.
Before I left the castle for training, I needed to find out where a realtor was to talk to them about the house. I was going to ask Twilight when I remembered about the map that she had given me. I took it out of my bag and, unfortunately, it didn’t show me any realtors, so I found Twilight to ask her. She was kind enough to mark the location on my map, and there was enough time for me to visit them.
Once again, I found myself standing in front of the house that I was considering buying. Something inside me kept bringing me here, the only phrase that came to mind was ‘a kindred spirit’. This house is broken, and while it would be great to buy it and fix it up, I couldn’t convince myself it was the right thing to do, not when my own life was so broken. I messed up so badly when I arrived, how can I fix this when I can’t even fix myself?
The heaviness in my heart was forgotten when the realtor pony arrived, and let me in. The house wasn’t as bad as I had feared, but it did need some work done. The fireplace surround needed to be re-mortared, a couple of stairs to the upper level were missing, some minor plumbing work, and a couple of holes that needed to be patched. That didn’t include anything behind the walls that might make themselves known as repairs are made.
“This doesn’t seem to be too bad. I can handle most of these repairs myself. What’s the asking price?”
“It’s ten thousand bits, when everything is said and done. You’ll likely need more for the repairs needed, however.”
“Hmm…I will have to double check what I’ve got. Is that price considering the current state it is in?”
“Yes, but it has been available for a couple of months, so we can try to talk the seller down to about 8,500 bits.”
“Well, that sounds…reasonable.” I wasn’t terribly familiar with the house buying process, but with the amount of shows on the subject on TV, it wasn’t a terribly alien process. At least that didn’t remind me of something depressing.
“For your situation, however, I would recommend a rental instead. A home like this might be more than you can handle.”
Her suggestion merely served to sour my mood, but I shoved it aside, and told her I would drop by with information on what I have saved up to see about any sort of down payment, thanked her for her time, and left. Before I did, however, that rustling noise caught my attention and I noticed a tail disappearing out of the corner of my eye.
On the way I stopped again at SugarCube corner, this time opting for a chocolate chip muffin. Pinkie, with her usual cheerful mirth, greeted me with the joke of the day. She was still able to make me smile, though as time went on, it had changed from being genuine to being something a bit more…forced. Fortunately it wasn’t to the point where she could detect it, and if she could, she wasn’t showing it to me just yet. I waved goodbye to her and proceeded on my way to Fluttershy’s.
I arrived at the ‘training meadow’ Fluttershy and I use for my flight practice. This was the only real high point that exists most of my days, being with her and learning. Doing wing-ups, gliding, or just hovering, she was a breath of fresh air to be with.
Now, that wasn’t to say that the others weren’t pleasant to be with, it’s just…the show ignored their bad side or things that would make one question their character. What could one expect from a 20-24 minute episode aimed at little girls? Fluttershy, on the other hand, and to an extent Pinkie Pie, well, I have yet to find anything bad to say about them, but I couldn’t bring myself to trust anypony, at least not yet. Each had their own faults (which I would rather not go into right now) that kept reminding me of people I knew on Earth. As my eyes scanned the meadow, I spotted Fluttershy apparently speaking with Squirrely.
“Morning, Fluttershy.”
“Good morning, Maverick.” she paused, a question on her lips, but unsure of the best way to ask.
I took the uncertainty out of her hooves, “Is there something wrong?”
She pawed at the ground with one of her hooves, “Well…I’m just curious-how you are feeling?”
“I feel great!” I responded enthusiastically, hoping that she would buy the forced smile on my face. Squirrley didn’t seem convinced, but he wasn’t my concern. Fluttershy appeared to be satisfied with the answer, but with my attention focused on not letting them know how I was really doing, I forgot how perceptive she could be.
"Oh, ok. You know you can talk to me if you need to, right?"
I looked into her eyes, which, in retrospect, was a mistake. They shimmered with concern and if I didn't know better, I would have thought she was performing her 'stare' on me. It was all I could do to hold my composure, "Absolutely."
After a typical round of training, which included some gliding again, I got my saddlebags on to return to the castle. I looked at Fluttershy as I was leaving, a twinge of sadness in her eyes. The only conclusion I could draw was that she was disappointed in me not talking to her about my problems. It saddened me that my lack of openness was causing this problem. It didn’t help that I forgot a shower was scheduled for today, and it started raining on my way back.
What a shitty way to end a day.