//------------------------------//
// Preface 
// Story: First Autumn - Ask Lovely Laughter 
// by LovelyLaughter 
//------------------------------//






Dear Blog,

It’s been lonely since I moved to Ponyville. They say it’s the best little town to live in. They say it’s perfect for ponies who don’t feel like they fit in. They say it’s a great place to lay low and make friends! They say… a lot of things about Ponyville. I thought it might be perfect for me. Granted, everypony has been incredibly friendly, greeting me with genuine smiles and all. I guess… I’m not really sure what I was expecting. Maybe I was hoping for something magical? Like, “different kind of magic” magical?

Everypony knows about Princess Twilight and her friends, her castle, the drama of their constant battles with evildoers. I have to admit - and don’t tell anypony I said this, because they’ll point at me and bark, “Ha! I told you so!” - but I really do genuinely love drama. The waves of emotions! The excitement! It gives you something to talk about. It gives you a distraction from the monotonous… where was I? Oh yeah, friends. I don’t know why. It’s not like I’m anypony special. I’m not a student of Princess Celestia or some crazy celebrity like that. I was just sort of… hoping that something similar would happen to me? I have my friends, yeah. I have Col and Ashaka and Mia and… no, yeah, that’s about it. Ever since “he” left, nopony in Canterlot wanted to be my friends anymore. Nopony except Col and Mia, the only ponies who weren’t connect in some way to “him.” Ashaka, of course, lives here in Ponyville. At least, that’s why I moved here. I haven’t seen her a lot, though. She’s always off with her mysterious adventures. Geez, it seems like everypony has adventures except me.

Mia recommended that I start up a blog, so… here I am! It’s one of the little secrets of ponyhood, the ability to blog. They’re all connected or something, like digitally. Some ponies say it takes away from the magic of being a pony. Phbt! I say if it’s a way to find friends, so be it. I’ve tried a few times to tell my story, but none of the ways I did it felt right. None of them seemed to stick. Now, it feels better somehow. It feels like it’s really me, telling somepony about my life.

Sigh. I don’t know, man. I don’t know if I’m really ready to talk about it. The shit I went through was pretty intense. (Oh yeah, I said shit. I’m probably gonna say fuck, too. Sorry, I know it’s not really pony-like of me. But at the same time, if you’re gonna read this, get over it. … Sorry, though.) Eugh. I’m still not sure what happened, exactly. All I know is the numbness came and went, and the pain came and went, and now I’ve got this feeling like something’s missing. There’s some… closure of some sort that I never got to work out. Maybe this will help with that. Or maybe “he” will find my blog and come to Ponyville and take me back into his arms, and maybe he will actually have changed, and maybe he’ll apologize. Ha. That would be…

I’m not really sure if that would be amazing or terrible. My therapist said terrible. I mean, she was my Canterlot therapist and I don’t technically have a current one so… does that mean I get to disregard everything she’s taught me?! Heh, no, I’m just joking. Except partially not. I’m not… I’m confused about my own feelings, okay? Feelings are hard. You’d think for an empath I’d be able to read my own emotions better than anypony else’s, but apparently not! Apparently, my emotions tell (here it comes) fuck all regardless of whether I’m alone or surrounded by ponies. I. Can’t. Read. Them. I can read everypony else! I can read ponies and cows and birds and guinea pigs and sometimes CLOUDS but Celestia forbid I run into a mirror! UGH!

Maybe I should get a new therapist.

Welp, time to post this in front of everypony. With my luck, I won’t get any attention in the swarm of much more interesting stories, but it doesn’t matter I guess. “What matters is that I tell my story, not that anypony reads it.” Or something. If any of you want to ask me a question, feel free. I’ll just be hiding in my cloud, underneath a blanket or something. Hmm, come to think of it, I really should go buy an actual blanket at some point. It’s getting colder than my ex’s heart! HAHAHA!

Get it?

Fuck off, that was funny.

… Don’t actually fuck off though. Like, send me a question or something.

~ Lovely Laughter