//------------------------------// // Prince Shining Regrets Everything // Story: Librarian Twilight Tries To Befriend A Newcomer To Equestria But He's Geralt The White Wolf And Doesn't Really Get Friendship // by SoloBrony //------------------------------// "Spike! Get down!" My time as a Royal Guard had drilled into me the importance of spotting dangers others were unaware of, dragging or tackling them aside if necessary. It was that training that kicked in now, as I pushed the small dragon just barely out of the way of a spray of acid from the gryphon. Spike whirled and looked to me with shock until he saw the gooey green pile steaming on the ground. "Whoa. Close one. Thanks, Shining!" "Don't mention it. It's circling around! Discord, fire!" Discord, with an uncharacteristic seriousness in his eyes, nodded and loosed a few shots at the giant gryphon arcing towards us. By the time I'd been summoned into 'Guy's Night', courtesy of the GM's newfound chaos powers, the other players had long-since given up calling each other by their character names. I silently resented that I wasn't given a class selection, but at least it meant I could use my magic freely. I needed it. "Mac! He's headed for you! Plant your legs!" Big Mac knew better than to argue. He squared himself in place and gritted his teeth, and I formed a shield over him with my magic. The gryphon's talons scraped the shield but couldn't break through, and Spike lit the creature up with a lightning bolt from his staff for its trouble. Finally spent, the gryphon crashed to the ground. Big Mac gave a yell and charged it, and I ran in right behind him. We both leapt on the gryphon, swords in our teeth, and stabbed as hard as we could. There was no blood – all of the creatures we faced seemed to be variants on undead themes – but the gryphon gave a croak before passing out, and subsequently turning to ash. I wiped some sweat from my brow. "Phew! I heard your Ogres and Obliettes games were crazy, but this is ridiculous!" Spike groaned in frustration. "It's not normally like this! Discord usually keeps things way more tame! It's the new GM, Geralt! He's crazy!" I looked to Discord quizzically. "Why don't you just shut him down? You know, take the magic away?" Discord rolled his eyes. "Shining Armor, taking his magic away would require magic. Which I gave him." "You gave him total control? Why would you do that?" Discord chuckled. "It's just more fun this way. Who knows what he could do next?" I looked at a nasty bruise forming on my flank. "But these are real injuries. What if one of us gets seriously hurt in here?" Spike rubbed a loose scale on his shoulder and shook his head at me. "It doesn't work like that. Even if you get hit with acid, fire, whatever, it just knocks you around. Take a few bruises. Geralt will tell you if you 'die', and then you appear somewhere else all healed up. It's not too bad, but it does hurt." Geralt's growling voice echoed around us. "It's not a fight without pain. Hell, it's not even a spar. Training means bumps and bruises, real fear." Big Mac spat his sword out and groaned. "Shining, y'gotta talk some sense into'em." I rubbed at the back of my neck with my hoof. "Uhh... but I actually agree with him. I mean, I know this is just a game, but I think it's more fun this way – as long as it's safe. I mean, it reminds me of my Royal Guard days." Discord snickered. "Shining Armor the masochist. Does your wife know?" I rolled my eyes with a sneer. Meanwhile Spike just threw his hands up in surrender. "Great! So he's crazy, and Geralt's crazy, and now their crazy will just reinforce each other!" An elderly stallion approached us. I was nonplussed at first, until Spike walked up to him and took a small bag of coins from him. The stallion eagerly shook his claw. "Thank you so much for savin' our village, brave lads! 'At gryphon's terrorized us for months! Good work!" Huh? Why does he had that weird sheen to him? It almost makes it look like he's a cartoon. I prodded Discord with a hoof and pointed to the stallion. "Why's he look like that?" Discord waved a claw dismissively. "That seems to be Geralt's way of letting us know a character is an NPC. The gryphon was like that, too, but it was harder to see up in the sky. I have to admit, it's better than making them all look like cardboard cutouts, like I did. Not quite as amusing, though." I scoffed. "Yeah, Geralt doesn't strike me as much of a joker, from what I've heard about him." Discord gave me a sly grin as Spike peeked into the reward bag. "You'd be surprised." Spike dropped the bag and face-clawed. "Aww, C'MON! THAT DOESN'T EVEN COVER OUR POTION COSTS! We were risking our lives here!" Geralt's voice chuckled. "You wanted to know what it was like to be a monster hunter." "No!" Spike waved his claws futilely at the sky. "We wanted to be heroes, not professional hunters!" There was a long pause before Geralt responded again. "If monsters show up, don't call for a hero. A hero is someone who steps up when things have already gone to hell. Hire a professional, instead." Spike looked stricken, and rubbed his chin for a few moments at that. "Huh. That actually makes sense. Someone who focuses on fighting monsters would be better than someone who's just brave, I guess." Geralt's voice sounded satisfied. "Exactly. Whether you're a wizard, an archer, a barbarian, or whatever Shining Armor should be called in this system, at the end of the day you're fighting monsters. Stop deliberately throwing yourself into situations unprepared so you can have a climactic-but-desperate showdown. Stop fighting fair. Fight smart." Discord grew a devilish smile at that. "Oooh, I knew there was a reason I liked this one." I just rolled my eyes and stepped forward. "Look, guys, he's right. We're never going to make it to the end of the module if we keep dropping all of our cash on healing potions and just barely scraping by. Your classes give you some useful abilities, but we can do a lot more than that. We should study our next quarry, lay some traps, plan our approach. Fight as a team. A team with a plan." The others nodded at that, and after grabbing our 'reward', we trekked on to the next town the witcher had prepared for us. - "So, y'see, that's our trouble." The minotaur leaned back against his chair, satisfied, and took a sip of his cider. I rubbed my head. "So this... 'tempestress' keeps causing freak storms, like the one that hit us on the way in here, and you guys have no idea how to stop her." "That's right." "Greeeaaaat... so much for preparation." I dragged my teammates away from the negotiation table to confer in a corner of the tavern. Because it's always a tavern. "Okay. We have no idea what we're really up against in those stormclouds, but the laughter indicates some kind of creature is whipping them up. None of us can fly right now, because none of our classes allow it, so what are our options?" Big Mac pointed at Discord. "He could try'n nail it with an arrow or two." Discord gave a look of distaste. "Oh please. I am an archer. I need something more specific to shoot at than simply 'some clouds'." Spike pulled out his spellbook and looked it over. "Hey, I have a wind spell that could push the clouds aside. Then we could get a look at whatever's in there and maybe try to get it to the ground with one of those net-cast arrows we picked up. Once it's on the ground we should have the advantage, right?" I pondered that. "Maybe. But we don't know what it is, so we should have a backup plan." - The tempestress was kicking our butts. We'd gotten her on the ground, sure, but it turned out she was a pony that could kick serious flank. I'd already racked up more bruises than I could count and she kept buzzing around inside of the net, creating massive stormclouds on the ground that blinded us and shocked anypony nearby with lightning. I glanced at Spike, who looked every bit as exhausted as I felt. "This is it, Spike. I'm going in with a shield, going to try to pin her down. I need you to use your Phantasm spell to make a bunch of fake copies of me, so she doesn't know where to counter. Okay? We're going to try Plan C." Spike sighed. "Because A and B turned out so great. Okay, might as well give it a shot." I charged at the growing stormcloud on the ground, horn shining and a faintly-visible bubble of energy forming around me. I held a small pendant in my teeth. Hoo, boy. I hope I've got the right idea or this is gonna hurt big-time. The barely-visible pegasus in the stormclouds zipped around, still grounded by the heavy weights on the net, but dragging it around and kicking various illusions regardless. I thanked my lucky stars she didn't see me coming until I pounced on her. "H-hey! Get off!" The pegasus thrashed wildly, but I lit up my horn and dispersed the clouds, and didn't let up on her. Wait. I recognize that voice. "I said GET OFF!" I took a hoof to the jaw but held firm, looking down at the pony beneath me. She was clothed all in black robes, obscuring her features, but I noticed there wasn't that odd sheen to her I'd seen on other characters. She doesn't look like an NPC! "Wait a second... Rainbow Dash?" "Uhh, no! I am the tempestress! And I'll get out of this and destroy this whole town for your, uh... whatever! For this! Mortal!" I rolled my eyes and dropped the pendant on her. The pendant shone brilliantly for a second, and then disappeared – along with all of the stormclouds. Dash smirked and rolled me off of her. "Took ya long enough, dork." Geralt's voice came alive around us, starting with some stifled laughter. "Congratulations, you correctly identified the tempestress as a pegasus under the Curse of Wrath. Now that she has been pacified by the Mark of the Righteous, she can accompany you on your journey to defeat Infernus." I helped Dash up, and she shook her robes off. She perked up quite a bit at Geralt's commentary. "Oh, man. 'Infernus'? That sounds awesome. Who is he?" Spike rushed up, excitedly. "I've been reading up on him in these wizard texts! They're written in Dragon, so only I can read them, but they say Infernus is an all-powerful god of light that fell to evil because they were betrayed by those they love, millenia ago! They were sealed away deep in the Earth, but the alignment of the planets allowed them to escape, and the dead rose alongside them as their army! It's totally awesome, right?!" Dash nodded and slapped her front two hooves together. "Yeah! We're totally gonna show this 'Infernus' dude who's boss! But, hey, I didn't know you could read Dragon, Spike." "Huh? Oh, dragons don't have their own written language, it's an Ogres and Obliettes thing. Wizards can read Dragon, other classes can't. When other players try to read the journals, they turn to gibberish. Geralt's apparently a stickler for certain rules." "So you get stuck on reading duty? Lame." "Hey, I'm good at reading stuff! I read off stuff for Twilight all the time!" Dash rolled her eyes and smirked. "Alright, alright, so what kind of awesome stuff did he have you fight before me? I mean, I know I must have been the best, but I'd still like to know what kind of stuff I'll be bucking the snot out of." While the two of them conferred on our past adventures, I strode over to Big Mac, who seemed disgruntled over something or other. I prodded him in the side. "Hey, big guy. What's got you down?" Big Mac shrugged. " 'Guy's' Night." I smacked my face and laughed. "Oh, come on." Discord leaned in from a disturbingly long distance to leer over us. "Remember, Big Mac, it's not truly a guy's night unless there are a few girls around." Big Mac gave an expression of confused shock. "That don't even make sense!" - It had been a long, hard road. We had come to the aid of the Kingdom of Romance, and their queen – my wife, to be specific – had joined us, as had Starswirl the Bearded, who had simply shown up when we were at wit's end with a monstrous horde. He apparently had no in-game persona whatsoever – Geralt said he refused to be summoned unless he could participate simply as himself. Which was fine by us. Starswirl was all kinds of overpowered as himself. Geralt had stepped it up repeatedly, challenging us with assassins, courtly intrigue, and dragons – and not like our dragons, but huge, terrifying creatures from his homeworld. We'd even had to fight off vampires, both human and pony variants, some of whom were apparently unkillable; at least, they were until Starswirl became too irritated with them and permanently turned them into pottery. Which he subsequently shattered, swept up, and threw into a trashcan he summoned from nowhere. Geralt said that seemed fair to him. It had been a long, hard road, but we were at the end of it. We had climbed the Rainbow Staircase to the Castle in the Sky, which had been disturbingly empty. We had marched through to the doors to the throne room. This was it. "This is it. One more door and we face the final boss. Infernus. Is everyone ready?" Discord looked over his assortment of enchanted and bomb-equipped arrows. "Oooh, yes." Spike tapped his staff against the ground. "Definitely. I've got all of my spells refreshed for the day, and I bought training for some sweet ice and water spells for this." Big Mac stood up proud. "I figger she's cursed, so I got anti-curse armor an' some oil." Starswirl nodded conspiratorially with us. "I've concocted an upgraded curse-bane spell based on those ruins we found." Dash smiled wickedly. "Let's just say I'm going to rain on their parade." She gave a meaningful buzz of her wings, generating stormclouds in the process. Cadance fidgeted with her saddlebags. "I hope the sitter is doing alright with Flurry Heart right now..." "Honey, battle-prep?" Cadance laughed and shook her head. "Sorry. I'm ready! I have a good supply of potions and my new healing spells ought to keep everyone on their feet. I've also got my energy blasts, if we need them. Plus Geralt is letting me fly now." I laughed at that. "Alright. Well, I've got an anti-fire shield spell now, that should cover everyone. We're ready. Let's do this!" I walked up to the huge double-doors and gave them a buck. The doors slammed open, and all of us strode into the throne room. There were huge statues of humans we didn't recognize on either side, but in the center of the room, atop a dias, there was a throne, and on that throne there was a raging fire in the shape of an alicorn, its eyes as black as coal. Its voice boomed out to us, tinged with sorrow and rage. "Not. Another. Step." The fire rose to greet us, and stepped forward to the edge of the dias. Discord groaned and muttered, "Here comes another monologue...", prompting a snicker from Dash. "Did you really expect me to sit here idly, await your arrival, and help you validate the praise of 'heroes' you've all been basking in, giving you some epic tale to take back to your people?" Spike's eyes darted between Infernus and us, as he quietly whispered, "Uhh... yes? We did, right?" As Infernus spoke further, their voice cracked with despair. "But how long will your friendship hold out? I learned long ago that glory divided is glory coveted. This world will only tolerate one ruler, one hero. And once... that ruler was me!" I frowned. Something about this whole thing suddenly sat very, very wrong with me – and a quick glance at my comrades revealed similar thoughts on their part. Regardless, all of us snapped to attention when Infernus spoke again, rapt with attention. "I will not give you your epic battle. I don't care about your glory or the approval of this world that abandoned me. You can all have it – but whichever one of you takes the throne, hear my words and know your fate. You will suffer! I need not raise a hoof, but you will suffer!" With that, Infernus began to slowly rise, flying up and out of the castle. I'm not sure what prompted me to action, exactly; Infernus' behavior and tone had shocked me from my immersion in the adventure, my readiness for battle. Instead, other instincts entirely took over. I rushed forward. "Wait! Infernus, wait!" Infernus paused in mid-air, their coal-black eyes fixated on me, squinted in pain and hate. "What? Are you going to say you want a battle, throw aside all pretense of only being here to guarantee peace, admit your true nature as a mere seeker of—" "No! Look, I don't know what happened to you, but we should talk about it! We were told you were the reason there were monsters roaming around the world, and yeah, we came here ready for a fight – but that doesn't mean we want to!" Infernus swept down towards me, landing mere feet away. I raised my fire shield instinctively, squaring my stance, but they just stared at me. "You want to talk? What do you possibly hope to accomplish by talking?" I chewed my lip over for a few moments, glancing back at my party. Cadance and Spike gestured me onwards; Discord had simply draped himself across a statue and watched with amused interest. Dash and Starswirl remained combat-ready, watching Infernus cautiously. Big Mac just watched me, waiting for a signal. Well... might as well give it a shot, right? Diplomacy works sometimes in this game, doesn't it? "I-I'm not sure. That's why we talk. Maybe there's a way we can work out our differences. We won't know unless we try. Like..." I considered for a few more moments, and then I just shook my head. "To hell with it. Listen, that guy over there?" I forked a hoof over at Discord. Infernus glanced at him, and then back at me. "What of him?" "We used to be enemies! Not only that, he once betrayed us! We're friends now! And there was once a time when a unicorn journeying with a dragon, or even an earth pony or pegasus, would have been considered unthinkable! My wife over there, she was born a pegasus! All of these things were accomplished by ponies taking the time to at least try! So... will you?" I extended a hoof, letting down my fire shield nervously. Please don't just be a GM trap please don't just be a GM trap please don't just be a GM trap... Infernus stared at my hoof for a while, contemplating. "I had comrades once. They betrayed me!" I nodded, swallowing hard. "I heard that. But that's no reason to give up on the future. Because in the end, what does giving up get you? Just more misery. Trust can be betrayed, but in the end you've got nothing if you don't have it to begin with." Infernus snorted, but considered. Finally, they sighed, and reached out for my hoof. The flames receded from their hoof as they did so, revealing a pure-white hoof. "I will try." With that, the entire fantasy-world faded around us, melting away until we found ourselves sitting around the Friendship Map in Twilight's crystal castle, Geralt included. He was casually draped across his chair, legs slung over an arm of it, head propped up in one arm, with a tankard in the other, and a GM screen and rulebook in front of him. He smiled at me. "Congratulations. That's it for the adventure, 'Return of Infernus'." I glanced around in confusion at my surrounding, before realizing I was shaking somepony's hoof. I glanced up and realized Celestia was standing next to me, stifling a laugh. I spluttered. "P-princess Celestia? You were playing as Infernus?" Celestia nodded excitedly. "I was! How'd I do?" Spike marveled at the sight. "Whooooaaa... I thought you were terrible at acting!" "I've been practicing! Besides, I had help!" Twilight and Luna emerged from behind a curtain in the room, rushing up to Celestia. Celestia, for her part, immediately embraced both of them, giggling like a little filly. "That was so much fun! We need to do this again!" I rubbed my head. "Wait... could somepony explain what they're doing here?" Geralt grunted and took a swig of his tankard. Twilight rolled her eyes. "Geralt had heard the story of Nightmare Moon, and he wanted to make an adventure kinda loosely based on it. He called on Luna to play the part of Infernus, but it kinda hit a sore spot for her. Celestia had trouble acting, so we settled on Luna writing the lines, and I coached Celestia through it." I winced. "Oof, that had to hit way close to home, though." Celestia nodded, but kept smiling. "It did, but that's what made it easier to do! I knew exactly what to evoke!" She looked to Luna. "Besides, it was fun, right?" Luna nodded, smiling. "It was. I am glad we've come far enough from that day that... well, suffice it to say I am glad." Discord snapped a finger, and a magical teapot appeared, which promptly shot a few blasts of tea into his mouth. He then sighed, though he was grinning. "But why did you have to make the ending so mushy, Geralt? I never took you for the type." Geralt shrugged. "Misdirection. A witcher must always be open to diplomacy, never be so battle-hardened or cynical to overlook true love or a chance at peace with an intelligent creature. Besides, this seems to be how pony stories usually end. I wish it was so more often in my world." Discord, for his part, laughed. "You tried to trick us into getting the bad ending, right there at the final boss? My, my... we will have to do this again." Geralt stroked his beard for a few minutes, pondering his tankard. "Think I'd like that, actually."