“No, I do not!”
“Just tell me.”
Athena looked stubborn, “Crusader is due in the Empire in twenty hours, I am not even going to debate this.”
“He’ll never know.”
“Yes, he will!”
“Not from me.”
“He’ll know because something always happens, always!” She pointed a hoof at the smiling human, “Don’t you think for a moment I don’t know what I’m talking about. You have no idea.”
“Look, beside that, I know those Bolo officers were like any normal troops, they had a hideout. Now c’mon, where is it.” His voice was chiding, making her narrow her eyes as she looked up at him.
“They did not! I am not going to give you anything like that!”
They had been talking in the vault, making sure the power was increasing steadily into the stasis machinery, stabilizing the warheads and putting the whole ‘end of the empire’ on hold for a few days.
The sergeant was bemoaning the fact he would never taste a bit of old earth again, telling her of days on the move, battles in which they’d scrounged local delicacies and of course, alcohol in quantities that would have shocked most proper humans.
An idea had obviously hit him, the look on his face making Athena wonder until he looked at her with a sly grin. It was a battle after that.
“So you DO have something!”
“I didn’t say that! You stop putting words in my mouth!” She had shut off communications with Crusader, letting him travel in peace to the Empire after extracting himself from Ponyville. She knew he didn’t mind, preferring the quiet of a simple sojourn.
“I could order you.”
“No, you couldn’t. You are not in my chain of command, and I’m a free Equestrian citizen!”
He thought about that for a moment, leaning back in the comfortable chair, “I know Princess Luna and Celestia like me, I could go to them and tell them a whole story about you denying a dying man’s last wish. Oh, the pain, the heartbreak.” One hand clenched the center of his chest as his face assumed a tortured look.
Lavender eyes narrowed as she clenched her jaw, “That’s low. That’s low even for you.” The words slipped through gritted teeth.
“Well?”
“I will not be blackmailed you..you...waste of oxygen!”
“So there is something?”
She liked the Sergeant, flaws and all that she’d found out about him, truly liked him. She understood his desire but it was conflicting because this was one last secret that was hers. Hers and hers alone, passed down through centuries of service, tight-lipped officers on long-serving Bolos kept it close.
Bolos never talked about it, technicians never said a word, no one knew anything except the serving officer and the Bolo. Some things were inviolate and almost sacred. So many traditions and unspoken things had been passed down, humans were odd like that, giving the AI’s a taste of history that made them willing partners.
“No.”
Clasping his hands in front of him, Wyatt leaned forward, whispering to her in a tone that indicated his seriousness, “How about please? Please, if you do, just a taste of home, one last time?”
He lay a hand on her shoulder, it was warm, comforting, and she felt such a wave of homesickness it almost staggered her.
“I’m just asking. Every good soldier has something, and I promise, I will be respectful. I..guess I’m just wanting something from Earth that isn’t a pre-formed meal, or nano-created something or other.”
Athena couldn’t look at his face, hearing the hope in it and knowing it wasn’t a false front. Her eyes searched the floor as she made a decision.
“If I do, you promise me you will never say a thing about it, understand? Nothing! If one word ever escapes you, I will do something very bloody and painful to make you regret it.” The sheer iron in her voice made him hesitate, hearing the resolve that every Bolo has coming through this pony.
The expression on her face made him sit back with wide eyes, he’d trespassed on something very deep.
“He can keep secrets, I am sure Athena.” Calliope’s voice was coming through the commlinks, “If he does not, he knows there would be repercussions. For myself, nothing will ever be said.”
“There are secrets kept because they must be, some secrets because someone feels the need, and then there are secrets that are just..that. Secrets. We keep them because they are near and dear to us and no one else.” The sable pegasus’ voice was soft, hoping he would understand.
“I understand. I honestly do.”
“Good. Follow me.”
-----
In every Bolo, the problem was not space, there was plenty of it to load in everything they needed. The problem sometimes was how to arrange that space.
As the war machines got bigger and more powerful, interiors had to be arranged just so, occasionally things slipped off the diagrams and engineering specs, being passed down through generations with no changes. Human history was like that, something just kept going because it was there.
In this case, the AI cores.
Space was needed for expansion and upgrading constantly, so the sphere that contained the precious blocks were shielded and thick. But in the design plans was a space that had slipped right through the engineers palms. It had always been there, and was even expanded a few times as technicians and designers thought it would be used for something though never was.
A Bolo officer centuries ago found it. Found out how to access it in a way that would not endanger the AI, nor the operation of it. He thought it a perfect place to store..well...some things that might not pass inspection.
Word spread, but by then it had changed. No longer was it for storing quasi-illegal substances, as the first soldiers had done, it was now a place of memories. It had become one of those wonderful things when it evolved from contraband to memories.
Each Bolo officer placed something inside the shielded and protected room, confident it would never be found except by the next commander. This was a line of history that stretched far back, as when Bolo AI’s were recovered, the memories went with them. It was the last secret in Athena and Crusader’s repertoire, as she knew he had one, but by mutual assent no Bolo ever talked about it.
Sometimes it was a simple note, or a journal of battles and thoughts. Some placed mementoes of family and friends in there. Other put in something to be enjoyed decades later by some other fellow officer.
Some memory spaces became elaborate, others simple, but all contained a living history of the Bolo it was in, the AI core itself. Telling a story that stretched back, not in computer symbology, but in plain human terms. Protected and kept inviolate, if the AI had to eject, it would carry the space along without trouble.
“Here I was, and I leave you this. Remember me.”
This was for humans, as Bolos had their own way of remembering. The AI’s, battle-scarred and long-lived as they were, protected it as fiercely as their own hulls. It meant much to those who they served with, they could do no less.
So, this, the final secret every Bolo carried, was going to be revealed to someone who was not a serving officer. If the Bolo were destroyed, the memories would be taken along.
Athena pointed at Wyatt as they walked through the vault, “There are two conditions.” She watched as he nodded.
“You must make the journey yourself, and you must leave something behind.”
The Sergeant thought for a moment, then grabbed a case off a desk and stood.
“Let’s go.”
-----
“Ugh..journey is right!” Wyatt’s voice echoed down the access-way as he inched along. Surrounding him were the interior workings of Athena’s hull.
After their conversation, Athena had taken him to the access hatch, whereby he could enter the sphere that contained her cores. In battle, meter’s thick blocks of durasteel could be dropped in place to maintain integrity and prevent as much damage as they could, but now, they were opened for him.
He had asked why she couldn’t just send a tech-spider down and was silent when she answered with one word.
“Tradition.”
So here he was, closing in on the inner cores, popping out of the entry and dusting himself off for a moment, “You don’t clean in here or what?” He was bent over slightly, as the curving of the sphere didn’t allow much wiggle room on the outside of the data blocs. Suspension and shock proofing took up a lot of space.
“Even in the most secure places, something gets in. Tech Spiders will take care of that in a moment.”
It had been a while since maintenance had gotten to cleaning the access ways. She had been a bit negligent.
Her avatar leapt right out after him, slapping the metal flooring with her hooves and pointing to a darkened area nearby, “There.”
Walking hunched over, Wyatt could see a hatch in the wall. The spheres containing the AI’s were very large, they had to be to do calculations and process things as fast as they could, especially in battle. He watched the silvery energy coursing along molecular circuits for a moment before turning to the door.
It bulged out of the curving wall, making it almost noticeable if you were to run into it, but blended right in if just glancing through.
A simple keypad was on the doorway, he thought for a moment before looking at Athena.
She gave him the code, and they both watched as the seal was broken, gases hissing out around the door as it swung open, a soft light going on in the interior.
Wyatt swore softly as he saw what was inside.
The room was actually larger that you’d think, being in the AI core itself, enough room to stand and move around as everything inside was up against the walls, secured tightly and armored against shocks.
Cases of something stood against one wall, stacked upright and actually bolted to the wall on rails that dropped and became shelves. Wyatt looked closely and saw they were also sealed against any atmosphere intrusion. He looked away and saw pictures hanging on the far wall, stepping closer and seeing the faces of officers, families, even some pets that were held with affection in the photograph. His eyes caught a few that looked to be the aftermath of battles, the dirty faces, the torn uniforms, but looks of victories hard won. Each moment was annealed to the durasteel, frozen there forever in time.
Some frames held medals, gleaming softly in the overhead light, a few so rare he’d never seen them before except in pictures. They were ensconced in gold, or severe black, a name and date below them telling of another part of Athena’s history. A third wall contained cabinets and shelves, locked and also secured against any storm, the interiors filled with padding that would take any shock, protecting the valuables inside.
He opened one cabinet slowly, seeing stacks of plaques and more medals, left by officers or awarded to Athena herself. Stored here by her request.
But alongside those were journals, books, logs, written by the hands of the men and women who had been here centuries before him. Durable plastisheet paper lasted pretty much forever, but some of these were yellowing, the feel of real paper from so long ago. A treasure trove of history.
There was jewelry, mementoes of something that someone wanted to leave behind, to gift to history. Stones shone, metal burnished or crisp reflected the light. Intricate and plain, it was all there.
But in one place, there was something odd. A wrapped gift, bright metallic paper gave it away with a huge bow on top of it. He was reaching for it before a steely voice stopped him.
“Don’t.”
“Sorry.” He snatched his hand back as if burned.
“What is...”
“That was left by a commander who was loved by both myself and my sister. Marcus Canfeld.”
A surprised look erupted on Wyatt’s face, “Canfeld? I’ve heard that name. Wasn’t he the one who helped predict the Final War?”
Athena nodded, “He helped work out the equations showing where the Concordiat was heading if it did not change course drastically.”
“I didn’t know he was a Bolo commander.”
“He was the best of them. He will always be prominent in my mind.” Her hoof made sure the wrapped gift was secure in place.
“Why a gift?”
“He left it for us, my sister and I, at the end of his career. He told us we’d know when to open it.”
“That’s kind of odd. Why would he do that?”
“I don’t know. But I have kept it here safe and secure. We’ll know.”
“My apologies then, I shouldn’t have reached for it.”
“You didn’t know.”
He waited for a moment, “So..what can I touch?”
Athena smiled, warming back up to him, “All those cases there.” Her hoof gesturing to the locked boxes, “They were left with the intention of someone further down the line enjoying themselves.”
“Really?”
“Oh, yes. Bolo officers did not stint.”
Wyatt leaned down, carefully bringing one case forward on sliding rails after unlocking it. Opening the top he actually took a step back, “No..oh no. That can’t be real.”
“It is. Straight from Old Earth herself.”
The case was carefully arranged and padded, nothing could have affected what lie within except a direct nuclear hit. If the AI cores got demolished, then this would vanish with it. Other than that, they had lain intact for a long, long time.
An almost palsied hand reached in, gentle taking one item and bringing it out to look in the light. The label was old, real paper that hadn’t been made since Pre-Concordiat days. The liquid within shone a golden hue that captured the eye.
“How...”
“Those are simple stasis cases. Before the advent of real stasis, this was made to keep such things intact, and potable.”
“So this is..real?”
“Very.”
The label on the cognac read nineteen hundred and twenty-four, pre-concordiat. It was old before it was ensconced here with ten of its fellows.
There were a few blank openings, meaning some officer long ago had decided to try some.
He carefully set the bottle down to the side where Athena could watch it. The seal still intact, the bottle like it was almost new. The simple stasis keeping everything as it was at the moment of closure.
He pushed the case back, pulling another one out and opening it with a grin.
“Now someone knew what they were doing.” He brought out another bottle, the liquid inside shone with a halcyon shimmer in the light. The label had an elderly gentleman with a cigar in his mouth. He didn’t hesitate and put it back, “Maybe later if I can?”
Athena nodded.
Another case pulled out and opened with almost a whoop as he lifted a bottle of single malt scotch into the air, “This is it! Oh, Athena, you wily Bolo.”
“It was left for others. Serving officers, not some down and out Captain busted to enlisted because he was a troublemaker.”
Wyatt’s head whipped around, seeing the sly grin on the pony’s face and laughed, “Fair enough. You called it.”
He let the bottle sit next to the other one and pulled a bulkier case at the bottom out. Opening it, Athena could see his eyes grow warm, “I haven’t seen any of this since..since..”
“Nothing like that in the stores?”
“No. Whoever quarter-mastered the shelter supplies obviously wasn’t bright enough to think of such things.”
There were piles of small cans and boxes of delicacies like caviar, foie-gras, crackers and buttered cookies that were high credit back in the Concordiat. Even some from off Earth, far planets who shipped the best of their produce to the homeworld for sale, ending up here.
On one side was a selection of fine chocolates that were individually wrapped. He grabbed a few and laid them aside, along with tins of cookies and crackers. Candies made from brandy and vintage alcohols that practically overflowed a container themselves, went into a small bag for travel as well.
“No more than that?”
“Well, maybe later?”
Athena eyed him, “You’ve behaved, I guess we could.”
“Thanks mom.”
He reached back, grabbing a second bottle of scotch from the case and looked around.
Athena pointed, a cabinet was opened that contained the appropriate glasses as she had a tech spider bring in another padded case to carry out his loot. Each glass was etched with her hull number and name, the tumbler and snifter made out of fine crystal.
She waited quietly as he turned to go, her body blocking the exit.
“What?”
“You leave something, that was the deal.”
“Oh!” He set aside his swag for the moment, grabbing the case off one shoulder and rummaging through it. Pulling out a sketchbook, he presented it to her. “Here is my contribution.”
Opening it up, he showed her the portraits he’d done.
The Princesses were in there, along with Cadence and Shining. The married couple shown sitting together watching the moon high in the sky with a sweet kiss between them. He’d done it in such detail it was almost like a photograph.
The next page was Twilight, then the others on their own separate leaves, each done in a soft way that gave every detail of their faces. Magic swirled around all of them, their poses natural and unforced. They were beauty in motion.
Then there was her. She hadn’t known he’d done anything like that.
It wasn’t her hull, but the avatar.
Lavender eyes were soft and warm, looking over her shoulder at something as she flew into the blue sky. The colors so vivid and each line perfect in every way. Her mane and tail were gleaming in the bright sunshine, streaming behind her like trails of pure gold and honey. Her wings were outspread as if catching the wind just right, each feather detailed to make the impression of flying off the page. Her Cutie Mark was like the others, almost shimmering in the daylight, her body surrounded by the magic that encompassed all ponies.
The final one was of himself, kneeling down with one arm over Athena’s shoulders, her leaning into him as they shared some joke or something humorous, both smiling gleefully at the unknown picture taker. There was none, of course, but it was as real as it got, done by the hand of one man.
“Those are..more than worthy.” She had told him how badly she wanted to fly, to have the magic that gave ponies the ability be in herself as well.
He laid it on a shelf, carefully locking the cabinet and making sure everything was stored properly. Secure and safe.
He turned to the tech spider offering the newly arrived case, placing his chosen items inside it.
Packing went swiftly and he locked the door behind him, standing in the core area once more, eyeing the tunnel.
“Again?”
“Tradition.”
“I hate you.”
The laughter could be heard all through the vent system.
-----
Dinner was long past by the time they got back, checking once more on the power systems and retreating to his room in the castle.
“Oh no, you will stay right here with that stuff. After the whole cereal thing, who knows what that would do to ponies.” She was vetoing the idea of going to a common area to relax and have a few drinks.
“Spoilsport.”
“Absolutely.”
He poured a few fingers worth of pure golden liquid into the tumbler, forgoing ice to just taste it all and took a sip. The smile on his face grew wider as he sighed in pleasure.
“You have no idea how many memories this brings back.”
Athena raised a brow, “Really? Bar fights and days in lockup?”
The laughter was soft, “No. No. Days when this was the last thing we had to drink.” He leaned back in the bed, fluffing a pillow, “McCallen’s Ridge. We’d fought the Ti’shur to a standstill that day, they couldn’t get us and we couldn’t get the hell off that planet. Our company was stuck.”
“The mechanized forces had been demolished, on both sides, it was just us troopers and Ti’shur infantry. The fleets were battling in space and didn’t have time for lowly little human soldiers.”
Another sip and sigh of pleasure.
“My first sergeant had a bottle of fine old Campbell scotch in his pack, carried it with him just in case, he said. We broke it out, sharing it as best we could among those of us that were holding our position. Weren’t many, so everyone got a sip.”
He looked at the tumbler held in both hands, lifting himself and swinging his legs off the side of the bed, “There weren’t many. But I’ll remember that taste to my last day. It stung the senses, went down so smooth it was like air, and it warmed the belly on that cold night.”
Wyatt held the tumbler up to the softly glowing lamps hanging in a chandelier formation from the ceiling, “One last shot of courage that long, dark night, Athena.”
He looked deep into the amber liquid, making Athena wonder what he saw.
“We were starving,” He went on, eyes never leaving the glass, “No food, no water, and we all had one sip of that miraculous bottle that came through everything.”
“Oh..they air dropped pallets of ammunition and such, but someone seemed to have forgot the champagne and appetizers.” He chuckled.
“We were dug into trenches, a corporal had remembered his history and came up with a scheme right from old World War One. We hunkered down and manned the parapets like good soldiers. Taught them brass hats a few things that day, wondering why we were digging in when we had perfectly good armor on. What a bunch of idiots.”
The soft eyes turned to Athena, “Ever see a Ti’shur up close. Smell ‘em?”
She shook her head. The only time she’d seen Ti’shur was at a distance in Hellbore range.
“Nasty critters, all legs and mandibles and eyes, smelled like a dead fish in the sun for a week. It was like a gray wave up that hill.”
“They had a few armored vehicles in reserve, we thought they had none, ours were in place like big pillboxes, treads blown from a few charges down that hill. Those guns lit off and it was on.”
He lowered the glass, looking straight at the attentive pony, “Hand to..leg fighting. Leg? Yeah, they didn’t quite have hands huh?” He took a long drink, draining half the gold away, “They were pretty good soldiers, give ‘em that.”
Athena didn’t wish to interrupt, so she sat and listened closely, recording everything.
“Ah, but my people were better. Toughest bunch of bar brawlers and fighting men and women you’ve never seen.” A finger pointed at her, “Bolos may have the power, but we’ve got sheer guts.”
“We kept going until the day after, when those fancy-assed soldiers in powered armor dropped in on us. Special Forces my butt, nothing but shoe-shining layabouts!”
“How..” Athena didn’t want to stop the story, but had to ask, “How many survived?”
“Oh..there were a few injuries, some serious, but only one real casualty. It was sad, truly. Finding out about that one when we all came through it, was a real heartbreak.”
“Who was it?” She was leaning forward, interested now.
“Who?” He finished off the tumbler and gasped at the shock for a moment, “That bottle of fine old scotch, took a Ti’shur rail slug right through the body. Spilled the last of it all over the ground. Truly, a sad day for the 121st Infantry.”
The pegasus, leaning into the story, entranced, blinked, then shook her head, “What? Wait..the..bottle..”
Wyatt laughed, “What’d you expect? Some last stand? Brave soldiers whittled down to the last few and surviving the onslaught? Oh no, little lady, we survived. Humans do that. We fight dirty. We do anything we can to make it through.”
Athena slapped his leg with a hoof, “Jerk!”
“Good story though, huh?”
“It was.”
“One thing about us humans Athena, we’ll fight to the last, but most times don’t. We like surviving, living to a ripe old age and telling lies around the fireplace.”
“You’re still a jerk.”
Laughter again, “To finish, that poor bottle was laid to rest like a true soldier. Thus endeth the tale.” A lift of the crystal glass, and a long swallow of precious liquid from the dim past.
“Maybe you ought to enjoy another drink and try not to tell more stories.”
“Perhaps you’re right.” He refilled the tumbler, “The bottle is definitely big enough, care to share?”
“It won’t do anything for me, I’ll just analyze the contents.”
He rubbed a hand along his chin, “I dunno. You’ve been telling me sometimes things go a bit wonky. I mean, tying one on with an old soldier wouldn’t be so bad, right?”
“If you like.” She accepted a glass with an amount of alcohol in it.
“Think we oughta invite the guard down the hallway?”
“No, don’t you dare.”
“Just a thought.” He raised his glass, “To us, the last of the Concordiat.”
Athena lifted her own glass with both hooves, clicking it against his gently and taking a drink.
He was right, it was very good, smooth, very tasty as a matter of fact..tasty..?
She looked at the glass in her hooves. She’d had cider before, and various drinks, all of them ‘tasted’ good to her, but she couldn’t really enjoy them like a normal pony. Smacking her lips she felt the slight burn on them. But..that shouldn’t be, she was close to real as she could be through technology, but this was something that hadn’t happened before.
Her diagnostics were showing everything was okay. Nanites breaking down the liquid, feeding the components to the compact fusion pack that warmed her...
Warmed her? She was feeling a bit warm..but..no temperature problems were showing.
“Wyatt, do you see any magic around me?”
This caught the silent human off-guard for a moment, “Magic? Uhm..” He squinted his eyes, looking at her closely for a moment, “You know, there is something there. Huh. I thought being artificial you didn’t have what others had, that’s odd.”
They had discussed it before, Athena being a little disheartened when she found out that she had nothing around her like the others. Hoping maybe that mysterious fire inside would be helping them to attain such things. Though it seemed to come at the worst times, or when only needed most.
She decided caution was best.
Offering the glass back, ancient liquid sloshing inside the container, she was apologetic, “I better not.”
“Don’t be silly.” He gently pushed the glass back towards her, “Not to be offensive, but you are an overgrown tech-spider really.”
“I know. Still, strange things happen in Equestria, Wyatt.”
“One tumbler of a good scotch is not going to make a difference, trust me, takes at least half a bottle or more to get me going.”
She eyed the bottle he referred to, it was losing it’s contents rapidly due to his depredations.
“You may want to slow down.”
He shrugged, sitting forward on the side of the bed, hands clasped around the glass, “Who knows when I’ll get this chance again? Better to enjoy the moment now, than regret it.” He finished off another few ounces, pouring more as it splashed slightly inside the glass.
Athena looked at her own, lifting it to her lips and taking another sip. It really was good, a smoky taste combined with so many others made it palatable. It went down like a drink of cool water on a hot day.
They sat in silence for a moment, the pegasus tilting her glass with the last few drops rolling down her tongue and setting the glass on the side table. She felt..strange..like overheated for a moment. Nothing was showing a danger signal on diagnostics which were always flashing through sequences in the corner of her view, unseen unless she concentrated on them.
For some reason that concentration was wavering, a little strange that. She locked everything down as she tried to keep herself steady. She was losing a slight amount of coordination to her consternation. Very odd.
Lockdown ran through her systems, making sure gunnery and tactical were offline until she brought them back with a coded sequence that would make sure she had all her faculties intact.
Why was this bypassing her internals? It was a conundrum she and Crusader had pondered over many a night. Maybe..maybe she could test it just a little.
She’d been awake and aware longer than Crusader, the magic of this world affecting her for many years before she was found and brought back. But it was alcohol! It should have been broken down and used for fuel, nothing more.
Lavender eyes slid over to the empty glass sitting alone on the side table, Wyatt watching her closely.
“Are you okay?”
Athena shook her head, “I’m..not feeling well.”
“Hair of the dog.”
“What?”
“Hair of the dog, always perks you up after a night out.” He leaned over, slopping some more of the wonderful golden ambrosia into her glass.
“But...but that’s afterwards isn’t it? When you wake up?”
“Trust me, been on a bender a few times myself.” He winked, giving a slight chuckle and raising the crystal tumbler in a salute to her, “Try some more, may even you out.”
“I..I don’t think I should.” But she found herself reaching for the glass, bringing it close to her chest as both hooves grasped it carefully.
The sergeant watched the whole process, “I know that look.” He nodded almost to himself, “As my XO once said, ‘got a taste for a bit of the creature’. Fake Irish accent and all, he was from New Jersey anyways.”
“It’s..very good.” She lifted the glass to her lips once more, almost smiling as the taste filled her mouth. She rolled it around slightly before swallowing, actually feeling the warmth spreading from her stomach area.
Something this good couldn’t possibly be that bad.
-----
There are many types of drunks. The ‘brotherly love’ type who loves everyone. The mumbling kind who sit in a corner clutching a bottle and talking to the wall. The happy one who is trying to be the life of the party and fails miserably. So many because humans were of varied sorts.
Ex-Captain, now Sergeant, Wyatt Carpenter of Company C, 121st Concordiat Infantry, attached to 451st Engineer and Weapons Maintenance Brigade, however, was none of them.
He was uproariously hilarious.
As he and Athena had shared most of that first bottle, the poor pegasus getting unstable on her hooves as he talked. He got funnier and funnier. He knew songs that she’d never heard before, teaching them to her as they sang through chorus after chorus of ‘The Drunkard’s Wife’, ‘Finding Love on the Battlefield’ and many sea shanties which she had never even knew existed. The jokes and stories rolled out from him in a never-ending stream that kept her laughing.
They had been standing on the balcony, a table cloth wrapped around Wyatt’s head in an imitation of a pirate’s headscarf, waving his cane as if it were a rapier and yelling at ponies below to prepare to be boarded and surrender their swag.
Athena was right there beside him, wearing a fairly decent eyepatch and brandishing her own weapon. Fashioned from a table leg in a hurry, it was a pretty good imitation sword.
That had lasted until the guard poked his head in, wondering what the commotion was. He had been enticed to take a drink and was beside them on the balcony now, waiting for orders from ‘Pirate Captain Carpenter’. He had also learned quite a few songs, which in Concordiat Standard were absolutely not for public consumption. In Equestrian they were even worse.
Throughout it all, the tall human kept up a rollicking tale of true stories, half-truths and out and out falsehoods which kept Athena and the guard in stitches. He told whoppers that would put wind in sails from laughter.
He was currently telling a story of he and a squad of his troopers facing off against a thousand or more angry Melconians. The guard and Athena were leaning forward, listening intently, piracy waived aside for the nonce.
“Oh yes, me hearties, there we were. Low on ammo, no place to go, surrounded on all sides!” He left it at that, taking a slug from the bottle of scotch.
“But..but what happened?” The guard was open-mouthed, taking in every bit of this tale of derring-do.
Wyatt leaned close, looking the guard straight in his eyes, “What do you think happened? They killed us!”
Athena groaned as the guard stood for a moment, not quite grasping yet the shaggy dog story and the implausibility.
“But..if.. You jerk!” The big pony huffed and sat down, “What a bunch of bosh!”
Wyatt laughed, “Now you’re getting it.”
“I..that was such a bunch of..of..” The poor guards’ eyes crossed as he fell right over in a deep sleep, snoring happily on the floor.
“Huh, can’t hold his booze there, First Mate.” Nudging the pegasus beside him with a hand.
Athena was feeling distinctly off-balance herself, “I don’t think we ought to drink any more Wyatt.”
“What? We’ve got some left and a whole other bottle! The cognac needs to be tasted too, loved! Swilled! Mutiny I say! Mutiny!”
A lavender face peered into the room, “What in Celestia’s name is going on here? We can hear the commotion down..the..” She looked at both of the crookedly smiling wobbling forms, “Are..are you drunk?”
Athena waved a hoof, “Pshaw! I can’t get drinked..drunk!” She blinked owlishly at Twilight.
A sharp inhalation and a surprised look, “You are!”
Wyatt waved a hand, “Nono. He is drunk.” Pointing at the hapless guard on the floor, curled up around a pillow thrown there in the piratical actions.
He leaned down, holding out a half full tumbler of scotch, “Here, try some.”
“What? No! I’ve got to go get somepony to take the guards’ place, and get him to his room!”
The humans’ voice through the translation system was smooth, Athena had to admit.
“It’s not going to hurt to wait a bit, come have a drink, sit and talk with us for a while.” He chuckled, “Poor guy is pretty comfortable where he is.”
“It’s actually pretty good stuff, Twilight.” Athena’s words were slightly slurred, making the Alicorn hesitate a moment.
The poor Princess was looking confused, a passed out guard on the floor, the human weaving back and forth unsteady until he braced himself against the wall, Athena was actually leaning to one side, almost falling over, bracing a shoulder against Wyatt’s leg. Yet, whatever it was in that glass smelled really good.
“What is that?” She was stretching out, sniffing at the liquid rolling around in the glass.
“That, my dear Princess,” Wyatt was the smooth-talker once more, “Is a very ancient and well-known brew from Old Earth.”
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Athena snapped awake with an aching rolling through her cores. Something was disrupting her processes for a moment until she got a handle on it. Using a sweep program, she got rid of most of the glitching, however that dull, almost pain-like, sensation persisted.
Internals were telling her it was late morning already, Crusader should have arrived by now!
“I have. I was awaiting for you and the others to awaken. It appears there was quite the celebration last night.” The humor was obvious and his voice was almost far too loud over the commlinks. “I traveled at some speed, knowing it was important, so arrived early.”
A hoof went to her head, turning the volume down until it was a low roar.
“Celebration? I..oh no.”
She looked over to the doorway, seeing his avatar sitting there calmly while the wreckage inside the room attested to his words.
Pinkie was somehow sleeping on the chandelier, draped over it and snoring loudly with a pirate hat on and a scarf around her neck. All four hooves dangled from the lights as it swung gently to her breathing. Rarity was crashed in a corner, snuggled up with a ton of pillows that looked to be made into an ersatz fortress. Cadence and Shining were in the opposite corner, another pillow bulwark surrounding them as they lay in each others embrace.
Fluttershy and Rainbow were on top of the armoires, both of them holding an empty bottle and fluttering their wings as they slept peacefully. The buttery mare had an eyepatch and a wooden sword beside her as well as Rainbow.
Twilight was floating in mid-air, stretched out on an invisible hammock with Applejack, both of them mumbling in their sleep.
“Oh boy. Where’s Wyatt?” She looked around in panic for a moment before spotting him standing on the balcony, a glass of juice in one hand, enjoying the morning sunshine.
“I believe I will wait downstairs. Take your time sister.” He chuckled over the commlink, “Let me know how the explanations go.”
Rubbing the side of her head, knowing it did no good, she sighed. This was not going to be fun.
To be continued...
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