The Recall Scandal of 1002
By: Blue Hour Pony
Three inky hooves clapped together in celebration as a youthful cheer sounded through the editorial offices of the Foal Free Press.
“Great work girls! Another story well done,” Scootaloo said with triumph.
Beaming with pride she took a freshly printed copy of the newspaper and held it up to the late evening light that streamed into the otherwise dark and musty basement. The Cutie Mark Crusaders had been so excited about this particular story that they had made sure to personally partake in the inking and pressing of the newspaper. They and Feather Weight had stayed long after school had finished in order to make sure that this latest edition hit every possible standard of professionalism.
“I’m so glad that we’re doing real news again. This is what I’ve really wanted from the start.” Sweetie Belle was unable to keep a smile from stretching out her face. “I’m sure we’re going to have everypony’s respect again.”
Apple Bloom clapped Featherweight’s hoof in congratulations, a gesture he meekly returned. “Featherweight, ah don’t care what anypony says. You’re a much better editor than that Diamond Tiara. For once we’re actually reporting on stuff that ponies in town need to know about,” Apple Bloom said proudly, her head held higher at that moment than it had ever been when Diamond Tiara had been sitting at the editor’s desk.
Featherweight, ever bashful, and who was often more comfortable behind a camera than in the limelight, mumbled his thanks to the ecstatic fillies.
“You’ve all done a good job. Go home and get some rest. I’ll see to it that this edition is on every newsstand in Ponyville by tomorrow morning,” he said quietly, taking up a stack of newspapers and setting them proudly on his desk. “I’ll personally deliver this batch myself. Good night, everypony!”
It was his mix of humility and firmness that endeared his fellow journalists to him. He was fair, objective, and always strove for quality. However, he also considered the feelings of his staff, the paper’s prospective readers, and the subjects of their stories. Under his leadership, everypony expected a bright future for the Foal Free Press.
There would be no more blatant yellow journalism. No more lies and embellishment. Diamond Tiara’s reign of terror was over. The era of hard hitting news had finally begun. The Cutie Mark Crusaders – blackened and smudged by the ink of the presses – cheerfully left the school house, each one of them with a spring in their step.
“Ah can’t wait to see the looks on everypony’s faces when they see what we’ve found. This is the sorta thing the big ole hotshots in Manehattan write about,” said Apple Bloom.
Scootaloo concurred, the flutter in her wings speaking to her excitement. “Ya know, maybe we’ll even win an award! We’ll be heroes! Everypony will look to us to keep Ponyville honest.”
They headed off with the sun at their backs, visions of their future writing careers (and future cutie marks) dancing before their eyes in the orange of a promising twilight. The sun was setting on the old Foal Free Press. Surely the new one would make a real difference.
They had no idea just how big a stir they were about to cause.
* * *
The betrayal boomed off the pages of the press, the headlines singeing everypony’s eyes and driving a stake through the heart of their collective trust. There it was, as plainly seen as lightning in a field, the story coming out of the Foal Free Press soon corroborated by inquiries and follow up reports: Mayor Mare, long time political leader of Ponyville, had been using public money for her own personal gain. The full-color picture on the front page had shown the gray-haired earth pony lying back lazily for a hooficure. Her chair was of the finest satin. Her feet dangled in the air. Her face beamed mockingly from behind her gilded spectacles. Before the three crusading fillies had risen out of bed, Ponyville was already abuzz.
That morning the Cutie Mark Crusaders walked through town utterly oblivious to everypony’s reaction. Feeling only anticipation, they eyed the newsstands. They spied on and followed those who had bought anything that looked like a paper. Sweetie Belle just couldn’t keep from shaking.
“Ooh, I feel like it’s Hearth’s Warming Eve! Only it’s hot and there are no presents out here!” she squealed, dizzy with visions of future fame.
“Don’t worry. Our cutie marks will be our presents,” Scootaloo said; her cockiness seemed appropriate for once. Across the street she saw three mares at a newsstand, their faces intent and downcast. “Look, they’re reading it!” She trembled as she shook a hoof in their direction. She had meant instead to point, but she couldn’t keep any part of her body still. Her heart was racing.
As they got closer, the fillies were alarmed to find in the mares voices a tone not of excited interest, but something bordering on shock and disgust.
“Is… is this some kind of joke? This can’t be right! It just can’t be!” Daisy said, her voice rising. There was a glow in her eye as she glared searchingly at the newsmare.
“Hey, I don’t make up the headlines; I just sell the papes. I’m as surprised as you are.” The newsmare shrugged. “You look like you wanna bite my head off.”
“Well,” Daisy said, turning to Rose, “what do you make of this?”
The other mare was transfixed by what she was reading, her eyes going over the words again and again as though she might find something new with each pass.
“Rose? Rose? ROSE?”
Rose, pulled from her reverie, seemed ready to stumble upon the pavement as she regained her bearings. “Uh… oh, I don’t… gosh; I don’t know what to think. Don’t you suppose that maybe they’re just making it up? You know, like last time?”
“I want to agree with you Rose,” Daisy said, ignoring the grocery bag on her back that was coming loose. “But this article -- it’s not like the other ones they used to do. This one looks pretty well researched. They’re not just writing their hooves off. They’re citing sources here! This is scary!”
“I’ve gotta admit, I’m with Daisy here,” the newsmare cut in, tapping a hoof on the counter to accentuate each point. “I see a lotta papers and magazines here. You can usually tell the quack tabloids from the real deal. This is some real dirt, I’ll tell ya that. And these sources here, these are some pretty solid sources. I know some of these ponies. These are ponies you could go right up and talk to. Whether it’s true or false, I bet we’ll know by noon. And if it’s true, Mayor Mare is gonna be stuck in something deep.” She shook her head in resignation to fate.
Rose was hysterical now. “But this doesn’t make sense. Those little brats have to be lying again! Mayor Mare would never do this to us. She wouldn’t. She –”
This behavior frightened the Cutie Mark Crusaders. On one hoof it sounded like the adults were complimenting their work. But on the other, it didn’t sound like they liked what they were reading or the ponies who wrote it.
“Girls? We did the right thing, didn’t we? I mean, it was a good story, wasn’t it?” Sweetie Belle asked tentatively. Her voice quivered now, but not with excitement.
“Ah… ah think so…” Apple Bloom sounded completely unsure herself.
Scootaloo, fidgety before, was now motionless and deep in thought.
Before the day was out the story would cast Ponyville into a pall of uncertainty.
* * *
All over town ponies read the story and then conversed about it with whomever they could find. Strangers would stop in the street shaking their heads and asking questions of each other that nopony could answer. Surely this was some kind of terrible jest! Surely, the Foal Free Press was being the grimy, self-promoting rag that the town residents had known it to be. Their Mayor Mare couldn’t have been involved in any activity that would betray the public.
At first, many shared Rose’s reaction. The initial reports were ignored, shunned, and laughed at even. So ridiculous did it all seem. But there was something different about this affair. The laughs became nervous and uncomfortable, such as when a mare chuckles uncomfortably when her foal says something difficult and embarrassing in the presence of polite company. Something about those photographs demanded more than a simple laugh. As more ponies followed up on the story and more questions came to Mayor Mare’s doorstep, it could not be denied that something was wrong.
It was a remote possibility, but if Mayor Mare had indeed embezzled public funds, then the matter had to be looked into immediately. It would be a light hearted affair, of course. Everypony knew the Mayor was innocent. Somepony who everypony knew to be fair, balanced, kind and objective would be on the case, and she would report back to everypony that it was all a cruel misunderstanding. The Foal Free Press would be laughed off for what it was. Life would soon return to normal.
For the job an independent council had unanimously chosen Twilight Sparkle to look at the evidence and return with her findings. Ponyville expected now that it would have time to breathe. However, the investigation was a fairly quick one, and the results were a bucket of cold water to the face on what was otherwise expected to be a dry spring day. Twilight had even decided to wear a brown deerstalker, so lightheartedly had the investigation begun. Now, the evening she was to deliver her report, she feared her getup would only make her into an unwelcome and erudite dasher of hopes.
The town hall multipurpose room at first had the air of a party. Derpy Hooves had brought muffins and had passed them out to everypony without breathing a word of the scandal that formed the backdrop of their gathering. Filthy Rich told supposedly funny work-related stories that only a quarter of the room laughed at and even fewer understood. Lyra complained loudly to Bon Bon about a trip she had recently taken to Manehattan and some ruckus she had passed on her way through Prancesylvania Station. Twilight had to force everypony to remember that they were gathered for serious business.
“Hey! Hey, everypony! Come on! Settle down!” Twilight picked up a polished gavel that had been sitting innocuously on a desk and hammered on the table surface. A full twenty minutes were spent simply trying to get everypony quiet.
When everypony looked in her direction they were surprised to see Twilight’s countenance, for it was completely at odds with the carnival atmosphere. Had her investigation turned up something unexpected? Everypony knew the mayor was going to be innocent in the end, so why did Twilight look as though she had just placed third in a thaumaturgy fair?
Twilight let out an exasperated breath.
“We need to talk everypony. Take your seats. I’ve discovered some things that this council needs to see.”
* * *
The presentation took no more than fifteen minutes. Twilight couldn’t help but recall the reports she used to give in school about pony history, some of them regarding a few famous criminal cases. However, there was no elation surrounding the completion of this assignment. For once, this was personal. Silence reigned for a few seconds. Twilight set down her bubble producing smoke pipe on a nearby podium.
“I’m… I’m sorry everypony. There’s no way around it. The picture evidence, the witnesses at the spa, it all seems to point to only one conclusion: that Mayor Mare did indeed, of her own free will, spend that money.” She looked at the floor, shamefaced. One was lent the impression that she was the guilty party and not somepony else.
“Is it… possible that perhaps she was just spending her own money?” Big Macintosh asked carefully. This startled everypony: it was the first question he had asked for the entire presentation. This was getting serious.
Twilight adjusted her deerstalker, fidgeting uncomfortably. However, when she spoke it was with poise.
“The unique striations on these particular coins leave no doubt,” said she. “They were the same coins Applejack won at the rodeo contest.”
Big Macintosh gasped quietly, but audibly. He knew what that meant. Applejack had donated those coins to town hall. They were given in good trust and were supposed to be public funds. His eyes seemed to grow so heavy that they might have sunk through the air. His head drooped sadly, almost touching the surface of the table before him.
“Are you… sure?” Derpy Hooves asked dejectedly, her eyes, for a moment, uncrossed and staring ahead in full attention. (The mere fact that she was even on the council was a testament to the levity with which the investigation had begun. A motley crew of ponies had been appointed to the council, only half of them ponies of well known standing; the others had spontaneously volunteered or been recommended due to popularity. It seemed now, though, that the gravity the situation had taken was making everypony more fully aware of what they were now involved in.)
The question was a redundant one, but Twilight, feeling Derpy’s sadness, felt compelled to answer.
“I know this is hard to take in. I’m disappointed too. But I’ve checked, double checked, and triple checked everything. Mayor Mare… is guilty!” Twilight lightly tapped a hoof on the last word as though she were sealing a warrant.
But what was she guilty of exactly? Nopony seemed to know what the standard protocol was for things like this. The laws of Ponyville were mostly of the uncodified variety. Everypony had just assumed that the mechanisms of government ran as a good watch was supposed to, and few ponies had ever bothered to open it up, so to speak, to see if there were hard rules.
After a short interlude Filthy Rich, who was certainly the wealthiest pony on the council, spoke up. He sat forward and put both his front hooves on the desk, causing it to creak. He looked as though he were about to make a strict point to a fellow business associate.
“Well it seems to me that we can’t have a mayor who is doing things like this. It just isn’t proper. Now, I can’t claim to know too much about politics, but I know quite a bit about business. In fact, now that I think of it, it seems that one is the little sister of the other, you know. And I know that if I had ‘misplaced’ money for a business, then the board of directors would probably have something mighty strong to say about that. Why, they probably would want me outta there.”
“What are you saying?” Twilight asked. “Are you saying that Mayor Mare should be ‘outta here’ too?”
Filthy Rich shrugged neutrally. “Well, honesty is how I do things. That’s how it is in all my dealings. And I think all the other ponyfolk on this council who understand business would agree with me.” He turned to face the others.
“Eeyup,” Big Macintosh concurred sadly.
“At the very least,” Filthy continued, “the Mayor really needs to think about what she did.”
“I think you’re right,” Twilight said while putting away her note cards and pipe, and taking off her deerstalker. “We can’t let something like this go unanswered. I think we should present our findings to the Mayor and the rest of the town and see how everypony feels about this. I just wish there was some way we could do this without being so confrontational.”
The council decided that it would take its findings to the Mayor and the public. They would then see where the matter headed from there. The meeting was adjourned and everypony left the room, the atmosphere markedly more muted than when they had entered. Ponyville loved Mayor Mare. She had always seemed to have the town’s best interests at heart. More than a mere politician, she was like a mother or a teacher.
Derpy Hooves was amongst the last to leave the conference room. Visibly unhappy, she approached Twilight.
“So, Mayor Mare is still going to be mayor after this, right?” she asked, childlike in her air.
Twilight shook her head. “I don’t know Derpy. I don’t know.”
***
The rain outside the library was more akin to a fine and weighted mist, the kind that gently tickled the face and wetted the windows, but did not noisily make its presence known to those indoors. Nopony noticed the rain, and Twilight seemed at times not to notice her friends. She had just finished telling them of the recent council proceedings. They had all come prepared to talk about lighter things, such as plans for future outings. Instead, there was dismay and indignation.
“To think our Ponyville could play host to such corruption!” Rarity said, looking as though she were ready to melodramatically keel over. “What are we to become? Manehattan? Las Pegasus?! It’s horrid! How can we trust anypony now? Who knows what else is going on? What else are they hiding from us? To think my sister’s snooping helped uncover this and that I disapproved of it. I don’t know what is right anymore!”
She finally did fall over onto her conveniently placed fainting couch. There was silence for a moment, for everypony was trying to judge whether or not she was legitimately overreacting or whether her response might actually be justified.
“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” Pinkie Pie said, giggling and unencumbered. “I know the perfect way to get to the bottom of this. Let’s just loosen up, throw a party at town hall, and sooner or later Mayor Mare will feel comfortable enough to tell us what’s on her mind. And I’m sure everypony will forget that they were ever worried about anything.” She bounced at the prospect.
Applejack rolled her eyes.
“But there are rules Pinkie! Ya can’t just break ‘em whenever you want. If I stole something from you would ya throw a party for me right after? If the Mayor was gonna splurge off of my contest winnings, she shoulda told everypony first. What she did was flat out stealing.”
Rarity sighed loudly on her couch. Rainbow Dash, hovering nearby, chimed in.
“You see! This would have never happened in Cloudsdale! Think of what would happen to the weather. Up there if we mess things up then we might drown a whole city. That’s why everything there is all discipline and order. If I were Mayor I would never have spent a single bit on myself.” She landed gently and stuck out her chest, giving her best “leadership” pose.
Rarity sighed dramatically on her couch. Applejack couldn’t help but chuckle at Rainbow Dash’s declaration.
“Right, sugarcube. ‘Cause we all know you’ve never stole or cheated before.”
Rainbow Dash snapped her head in Applejack’s direction and pointed menacingly at her. “Hey, what’s that supposed to mean? You think I would’ve spent somepony else’s money on some silly, fru-fru make up nonsense?”
Applejack stuck her nose in Rainbow Dash’s face. “No, course not, sugarcube. I think you’d have spent somepony else’s money on tickets to a Wonderbolts race or on a new toy or something.”
“What? No way! Not somepony else’s money. Not if everypony was counting on me and looked up to me.”
Rarity sighed loudly and dramatically on her couch.
Twilight paced to and fro, looking frantically through several piles of books. “Spike? Have you found anything yet?”
“Well, there are plenty of books on Canterlot legal statutes.” The little dragon scarcely looked at each title before tossing it over his shoulder. It was early in the evening, but already there were bags under his eyes. “Plenty of rule guides for games and what not. There’s some stuff about the history and development of Equestrian law from the Pre-classical era to the modern day. But I can’t find anything on Ponyville.”
“How could a town have been founded without anypony deciding to write anything down? How can things be so disorganized?” Twilight then let out a deep guttural sound the likes of which her friends hadn’t heard since the last time one of her letters to Princess Celestia was tardy.
Rarity (once more) sighed loudly and dramatically on her couch, flailing about before falling off and hitting a pile of books. The crash of the unicorn and the cascade of books temporarily brought everypony to silence.
“Yessh, Rarity, would you control yerself. You’ve been acting a might stressed today. Something the matter?” Applejack asked her while everypony stared.
Lying amongst a sea of books, Rarity struggled for a moment to get up. “Oh, no. No. I’m all right. I… I just hope this affair doesn’t turn into a bad soap opera or anything.”
“Well you’ve gotta keep yerself together first. You’re looking like a bad soap opera yerself right now.”
Applejack lent Rarity a hoof and pulled her onto her feet. As Rarity composed herself she lifted one of her hooves off of the cover of a book she had fallen on and stared at it before calmly levitating it over to Twilight.
“Would this help you?”
Twilight’s eyes lit up as she read the cover. “Ye Plenipotentiary Ponyville Bill of Precedents.”
She quickly pried open the flaked and dusty cover before proceeding to flip through the pages. She turned the leaves so rapidly the others thought it a wonder that she was able to see a single letter. Outside the rain could finally be heard pelting the window.
Twilight beamed. Her face was transformed; her eyes were like radiant sunbursts. “Oh my gosh! Do you know what this is?”
“A cupcakes recipe for rainy days and political intrigue?” Pinkie asked.
“No, this is a copy of the town charter and several supporting documents!”
“Does it say anything about how to handle this?” Rarity craned her necked to get a look, but then recoiled at the musty smell.
“Well, not really. It looks rather informal, as though it was written hastily by somepony with little time or experience, definitely the sort of thing settler or farmer ponies would write. But it is rather old and certainly official, definitely the first real body of law for Ponyville that I’ve ever seen. From what I can see it seems to imply that any money under the mayor’s control can be disposed with as she wishes, seeing as, if she does have that money, it is assumed that she underwent some kind of appropriations process to get it. But…”
“Yes?”
Twilight tilted her head closer to the text. “It does say that if there are reasonable grounds for concern surrounding the conduct of the mayor, then a citizen or citizens can unilaterally call for a recall election. Any mare or stallion can nominate a candidate or run themselves…”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes lit up.
“So if I wanted I could be mayor?” she inquired excitedly.
Twilight continued flipping through the book, speaking while scanning the pages. “You have to win an election though. And we still haven’t decided what we’re going to do.”
“We? Didn’t you say ‘citizen or citizens’?”
“Yes, but…”
“Then there you have it. It’s time Ponyville had a leader with integrity, honesty, and guts, the kind of leader who doesn’t have time for nonsense and secrets and lies. That leader is me.”
“But I’m sure there’s some other way we could work this out. I’m sure Mayor Mare is sorry.”
Rainbow Dash bounded around the room as she made her pitch. “I’m sure she is. But she had her turn and she blew it. Now it’s is time for a Pegasus to be in charge! Why not me? I’m already wildly popular. Everypony loves me. I know how to organize events and mobilize ponies. Sounds like I’ve already been a mayor before. It’ll be a piece of cake.”
Cake? Pinkie’s ears perked up.
“You really think so?” She licked her lips, making an obscene slurping sound.
“Sure. Easy as pie. With whipped cream and a cherry on top.” Rainbow Dash dismissively waved her arm.
“In that case, I think I’m gonna run too!” Pinkie exclaimed, jumping and wiggling her legs like some kind of spring-laden toy.
“What?”
“Yep. I’m really good handling other ponies money ‘cause I work in a bakery, so you know I’m reliable. Everypony knows that. And, you remember that time I promised everypony free samples? They really loved that! They were cheering and hollering and screaming. I bet if the election were held that day, they’d have all voted for me right there.”
Rainbow Dash scoffed and shot her pink friend a patronizing smile. “You really think you could handle that kind of work, Pinkie Pie?”
“Why not? I’m friends with everypony. You know how much work it is to be friends with everypony? But for me it’s not work ‘cause it’s just what I do. It’s fun! And what better pony to be mayor than one who thinks the job is fun?” She continued jumping up and down, her prospects becoming further cemented in her mind with each bounce.
“Girls,” Twilight interjected, “don’t you think you’re getting a bit carried away? We haven’t even told anypony about this law yet. They don’t know what’s about to hit them. Does Mayor Mare know you all are planning a cake-laden coup d’état?”
Rainbow Dash’s face scrunched up. “Koo de what?”
“I’ve heard of those. Those are like hors d'oeuvres, right?” Pinkie said.
Twilight shook her head, looking up from the book for just a second.
“No no no. Coup d’état. It’s a political term.”
“Well, that egghead political mumbo jumbo is what got us into this mess,” Rainbow Dash said dismissively. “Ponyville needs a leader who everypony knows is going to do the right thing without thinking too hard about it. With me, what you see is what you get: pure awesomeness. Isn’t that right, Fluttershy?”
Fluttershy, who hadn’t said anything up to that point, suddenly looked very uncomfortable, for she didn’t like being caught in the middle of debates between her friends, and she made especially sure to avoid topics like political snafus.
“Um… well… You’re all good in your own way. I would vote for you all if I could.”
“Well you can’t!” Rainbow said forcefully. “So, who are you gonna vote for? You’re gonna vote for me, right?” She inched toward Fluttershy, her wings spread.
“Cut that out, Rainbow,” Applejack said, moving between the two Pegasi. “She can vote for whoever she wants.”
“I’m just making sure she knows that she has to make the right decision!”
“What right decision? Whatever decision she makes on her own I’m sure will be the right one.”
“Well, in any case, I need to go round up my supporters and fans and let them know that the time has come for their full support. There’s gonna be a new sheriff in town, and her name is Rainbow Dash! I’m gonna go tell everyone.”
With that, Rainbow Dash exited the library and flew away. She did not even bother to close the front door.
“Oh, oh! I need to go too. This is going to be so much fun! Free cake for everypony!” Pinkie Pie said before bouncing off.
Applejack groaned at the prospect of the coming political storm. “Well, I didn’t want to run in this here election, but I have to make sure that everypony has an option other than that crazy Rainbow Dash there. Ya know, an honest pony who doesn’t have her head in the clouds? I’ll see ya later Twilight. I need to go run this by my family.” And with that she trotted right out of the library.
“Goodness, what have I unleashed into the world?” Rarity said, looking rather concerned. “Rainbow Dash doesn’t have a platform at all. She doesn’t know the first thing about running a town. Pinkie Pie thinks that this is going to be all fun and games. Sure she makes cakes for a living, but what does she really know about finance and business management? Applejack is only running because Rainbow Dash is running. She’s not going to have her heart in the right place. I simply cannot allow this. I have to do something.”
“Don’t tell me you’re going to run too.” Twilight slapped the book shut and frowned.
A smile, small but perceptible, appeared on Rarity’s lips. She seemed almost embarrassed. “Well, I shall certainly consider it. If my town needs me then I shall generously offer my services. I have to protect it, even from its own overexcited residents. Come Fluttershy. You’re going to help me make sure that the others don’t make a mess of things, aren’t you?”
Fluttershy looked skittish for a moment. “Well… um… I don’t want a mess to be made of anything either.”
“Ah, then we want the same thing! Come, darling. Let’s go make plans.” Rarity gently, but purposefully, pulled Fluttershy with her out the library door, shutting it behind them.
Outside, the rain had stopped. Not a cloud was to be seen, though Twilight had not noticed any of it, for she had been too busy first looking for the legal book and then hearing her friends formulate their plans. She noted the water droplets on the window with surprise before returning her thoughts to her friends and how suddenly they had dashed off.
“Wow. Did I miss something? What just happened?”