//------------------------------// // Midnight Eavesdropping // Story: The Mask of Despair and the Face of Hope // by Wings of Black Glass //------------------------------// That night passed slowly, and I couldn’t seem to get any sleep. I tossed and turned in the bed provided to me by the Changelings, little more than a grassy mound with plainly woven blankets, creature comforts for non-changelings were still something of a novelty here. My discomfort was not due to the bed, which was comfortable enough, but because my mind was working endlessly. Thoughts coursed through my mind, what was the thief planning? Where did he go? Why did he want the Changeling throne? Why did the scars on his face look like Sable’s mask? How did he get the Amulet tracking spell? Unfortunately, I had no answers. At last, I could take it no more. Maybe the fresh night air would clear my mind. I leaned up, just in time to see the tip of Fluttershy’s pink tail disappear around a corner. Where could she be going at that hour? Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were both snoring on one side of the room. Applejack was curled up by the wall. Rarity was under a perfectly square blanket. Spike mumbled in his sleep at the base of my bed. Moonlight illuminated Starlight Glimmer, over by the window. I didn’t see Sable anywhere; although the changelings gave him a small nook in another room. I got up and slowly tiptoed my way past my other sleeping friends. I reached the doorway and looked around the corner in time to see Fluttershy moving down another hallway leading to the outside of the hive. I followed softly, not wanting to wake anyone sleeping nearby. As I approached the corner, I heard Fluttershy speak, but couldn’t make out the words, although I understood when a second voice joins in. “I’m surprised to see you up.” That was Sable, staying up late again, probably just as lost in thought as I was. I stopped, for some reason not wanting to intrude on them. This might have been a good chance to see how Sable behaved with the others when I wasn’t around, sometimes I thought I had a distorted perception of his interactions with them. “You should be resting.” “Thank you for your concern, but I’m not that fragile. If you don’t mind my asking, why are you still up yourself?” “Thinking, mostly.” “About the thief?” “No, actually.” He paused, I imagined his expression as hesitant and closed my eyes to envision the two of them better. “I was thinking about my future.” This was not what I expected, and he sounded… sorrowful. “Is there something the matter?” More silence between them. “I thought you were determined to move forward now?” “I am. But… it’s not as easy as I made it out to be, back at the tree.” He surprised me, I didn’t think he would be that open with so little prodding. “What do you mean?” “It's… It is difficult to explain. When you work with your animals, can you tell me how you feel?” He paused, and I imagined Fluttershy would be searching for the right words. “Well, let me guess. Every day, when you care for the creatures around you, you feel a sense of wholeness. As if this were all you needed to be happy.” “That would be one way to say it.” “I don’t feel that completeness. Not when I help Rarity in her shop, not when helping Applejack with her farm, or when reading in the library, not even with you. It’s… hollow.” He would turn away now. “Everything I do feels like a chore, like something I have to get out of the way. There’s always this sense I have that I want something more, something just out of reach.” Now he would reach out as if grasping at a distant star. “It’s a weight I can’t seem to lift. Moving forward.” He scoffed. “What does that even mean, anyway?” “I think it means to accept who you are, and then work to better yourself.” “That would be easier if I knew who I was.” “I know who you are.” Fluttershy giggled gently. I imagined Sable turning towards her in surprise. “You are intelligent, helpful, capable, and brave. You are willing to do whatever it takes to see something through. And you don’t give up hope, even when you lost everything. I admire that. I don’t know if I would have the strength to face a challenge like yours.” She fell silent, and it took a long time for Sable to find what he wished to say. “Is that really what you see?” Fluttershy would be nodding now with a soft smile. “It’s all a mask.” I froze, not sure what to make of that. “I see something quite different when I look in the mirror. Every day I wake up to face a world I know I don’t fit in with. I question everything, always seeing the worst outcome, the ways it could go wrong, always uncertain. Sometimes when somepony speaks to me, I have to concentrate to avoid shaking with fear. It’s irrational, I know.” A quiet moment passed. “You aren’t shaking now.” I risked a peek around the corner, Fluttershy had taken Sable’s arm with her own. They sat side by side, looking out into the night sky. “I know it’s hard; I know how it’s like to be uncertain. You are stronger than you know.” I retreated back around the corner, marveling at the fact of Fluttershy being the one to encourage the inner strength of another. She’s come a long way since we first met. “And if you ever feel weak, you can always talk to me, or Twilight, or any of the others. Isn’t that what you asked of us, under the willow? To help you stand tall when you fell?” “Yes. You’re right.” More long moments of silence. “Thank you, for reminding me.” His voice was stronger now, probably giving her his most respectful bow. I nodded, pleased to hear him being so open. “You’re welcome, Mr. Stardust.” “Please, call me Sable.” His voice was gentle, just as when he spoke of Sereina before the accident. “Sable. You are very welcome.” Quiet settled between them, I left the two alone, returning to bed with my mind at ease. “Wow Twilight, did you have to embarrass Fluttershy like that?” “I am sorry, about eavesdropping on you. I didn’t think it was going to get that personal.” “It sounds like I was really close to him.” “I think you were just being yourself, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”