Thistleroot turned to see a lion’s paw holding onto his shoulder. He followed it up to a long, brown body and finally found himself looking into the eyes of a one-fanged, grey-headed creature. A creature he’d seen before.
“D-d-discord.”
“Hmm, it’s not the grand introduction I deserve, but I guess it will have to do.” The creature twisted its entire body in a swift, sinuous movement, looping around behind him and coming to rest on his other side, leaning one arm casually against the table. Thistleroot flinched and tried to turn to keep his eyes on Discord, nearly falling out of his seat in the process.
“And, unless I misheard earlier, you are Thistleroot.”
Thistleroot nodded wordlessly.
“I was curious, you see. I’m quite sure we’ve never met, and yet you seemed to want me freed.”
“Y-yes. Yes, I wanted you freed, so obviously I am a friend and there is no reason to do horrible, unspeakable things to me.”
“Well, I can’t say I was expecting to have any fans of my work.”
“Yes. That’s it exactly. Huge fan. Yup.”
“Hmm, this is certainly a new experience. Well, it’s been a while since I stretched the old chaos muscles.” His other arm came up, but rather than ending in a lion’s paw, it ended in bird-like talons. They came together, as though he was about to snap.
“I mean, uh, maybe not a huge fan,” Thistleroot said. “So, no need to put on a show or any... I mean, I am a fan, really, but it’s like... if there’s... please don’t hurt me.”
Discord paused a moment, and then snapped. There was a flash, and the book Thistleroot had been reading stood on four legs and scurried toward them. Thistleroot cringed away from it as it came to a stop and flipped open. “Let’s see,” Discord said, pushing a pair of reading glasses onto his snout. “Trotter’s Tome of Reliquary. A bit heavy for this late at night.” He flipped through the pages, much too fast to actually read anything. “Interesting concepts. Ponies really have come quite a way in the past thousand years.” He picked up the book, its legs kicking uselessly, and with a flash it disappeared. “I suppose I should catch up on all of these new laws of reality at some point. Like they say, know the rules before you break them. Now then,” he turned his focus back to Thistleroot.
Thistleroot had shifted to the furthest edge of his seat, putting as many inches between himself and the draconequus as possible without actually fleeing.
“It’s clear you’re not actually a fan, so why did you come to free me?”
Thistleroot swallowed hard. “Well, the truth is, it was actually Scootaloo who wanted to free you.”
Discord’s face was impossible to read, completely devoid of any emotion. He tilted his head and then shrugged. “Scootaloo? Hmm, sorry, not familiar with the name.”
Thistleroot blinked. “What? But, I thought... what about all that stuff that happened ten years ago?”
“Oh please, you expect me to remember ponies from that long ago?” Discord waved a hand in a dismissive gesture. “Well, it’s not important. I was just curious, but I really should be on my way. I have so much chaos to spread. Over a thousand years to make up for.”
“Woah, woah, wait! You can’t just leave! We need—” Thistleroot cut off with a squeak as Discord grabbed him from the back with his paw and lifted him up to eye level.
“Can’t? I’m sorry, I thought you knew who I was, but apparently not.” He put his spread talons on his own chest. “I’m Discord. Spirit of Chaos. I can do whatever I want.”
“Sorry, sorry,” Thistleroot said, cringing away from him.
Discord watched Thistleroot for a few moments before rolling his eyes and setting him back on his hooves. He turned, stepping away and raising his talons to snap once again.
Thistleroot glanced up, steeling himself before saying, “Please, wait. If you don’t mind, please?”
Discord sighed and lowered his arm. “I’m a very busy draconequus.”
“I’m sorry, it’s just, you see, we were sort of hoping you might be able to help us. If you wanted to, of course. The thing is, an old enemy of yours was freed. Nocturne, the first changeling queen. And we knew that you had beaten her before, so we were hoping maybe that you would want to do it again.”
“You know, I did hear something about Nocturne being back,” Discord turned quickly, and Thistleroot took an involuntary step back. “It sounded like a city exploding.”
“Yeah, she did that,” Thistleroot said. “Even if you really don’t remember her, Scootaloo considered you a friend. She believed you could help.”
“Hmm, Scootaloo... Scootaloo... Oh!” Discord snapped his talons and held one up, eyes alight with recognition. Thistleroot perked up. “Unicorn? Blue mane? Cotton candy cutie mark?”
Thistleroot’s ears fell flat. “Oh come on!” Wait, don’t say that, he thought as the words left his mouth. He winced, waiting for some violent reaction to the outburst, but Discord’s face settled back into that expressionless mask. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude,” Thistleroot said, the words rushing together.
Discord didn’t say anything.
“She’s an orange pegasus with purple hair. She talked to you while you were stuck in stone,” Thistleroot said, heart beating a frantic rhythm inside his chest, wondering how much he could say before Discord grew annoyed enough to do Celestia knows what to him. “How many ponies talked to you like that?”
“I wouldn’t know,” Discord said. “I couldn’t see or hear anything while I was imprisoned.” He flipped his paw out in a dismissive gesture. “Bah, this is all a waste of time. I’m going now.”
He couldn’t hear anything when he was stone? Then, Scootaloo was right. Discord hadn’t heard her apology. If that was the case, it was for the best that the spirit of chaos didn’t remember her. He might not have forgiven her after all.
But wait. That didn’t make any sense. If Discord hadn’t heard the apology, how had Day Dream known about it? For that matter, how had Discord known Thistleroot’s name?
Discord was lying about being able to hear them. He had to be.
He turned away once again, talons coming up. One snap and he’d be gone.
Why would Discord lie about being able to hear them? Why would he come talk to Thistleroot rather than Scootaloo? Even if he didn’t remember her, she’d been the one to actually free him.
“You do remember her!” Thistleroot blurted in one last attempt to stop him from leaving. Discord’s talons tightened, but he didn’t complete the snapping motion. “You know who she is. And you heard her apologize. I don’t know when it happened, but I know you remember it.”
Discord turned, eyes narrowed. “And how can you be so sure of that?”
“There was a pony. He used magic to look into your head and went crazy. He thought he was you.”
Discord harrumphed. “As if.”
“I asked him about Scootaloo. He knew who she was, and he knew that she’d apologized. If he knew it, you have to know it too.”
Discord gave an exaggerated sigh. “Fine, yes, I know who Scootaloo is. Very clever, congratulations.” He flung a pawful of confetti into the air over Thistleroot. It drifted down around him as he briefly pondered where Discord had gotten it. “Of course,” Discord continued, “if you know what happened ten years ago, then you should realize that me not remembering Scootaloo is the best thing she could hope for, so maybe not that clever.”
Thistleroot brushed the confetti from his mane as he considered his next words. The fear he’d felt upon first seeing Discord had begun to fade. He was still nervous, still respectful of just how dangerous the creature floating before him could be, but so far Discord’s actions had been fairly tame, compared to the stories. The confetti hadn’t even come with a sound effect.
“Things are getting worse already. I’m not sure how much of it is Nocturne directly stirring up monsters, and how much of it is the monsters taking advantage of Princess Celestia’s absence, but either way we’re doing something, and we freed you because we knew you could help.”
“Sorry,” Discord said, yawning and reclining in mid air, arms crossed under his head, “Not interested.”
“But why not?” Thistleroot asked. “What are you going to do, then? If you go back to spreading chaos, won’t you and Nocturne end up fighting again anyway?”
“Oh, sure, but it’s not like anything will come of it. One fairly solid perk of being an immortal spirit is the immortality. Beside’s it’s not as though—”
“Thistleroot? Are you in here?” Discord cut off mid sentence, glancing back as Scootaloo’s voice came from outside. With a flash, he was gone. Scootaloo pushed through the tent entrance. “There you are.”
“Uh, yep,” Thistleroot said, staring at the spot Discord had just been.
“Apple Bloom wanted me to see if you’d eaten yet,” Scootaloo said.
“Okay, sure thing,” Thistleroot answered. “Hey, so you know how we thought—” Thistleroot trailed off as his tongue suddenly stuck to the roof of his mouth. He tried to work it free for a few seconds while Scootaloo watched him.
“How we thought what?”
“Howh we though Dithord wath thill thone.”
“Uh, what?”
Thistleroot considered for a moment, before shaking his head. “Nothig. Nethur mine.”
Scootaloo just stared at him, so he waved a hoof at her. She seemed to get the message and shrugged before turning and leaving the tent. Thistleroot’s tongue unstuck a few seconds later.
“What was that about?” he asked the empty room.
“What was what about?” Discord asked, sitting in the seat across from him, reading glasses back in place and Trotter’s Tome propped up in front of him.
Discord had lied about remembering Scootaloo. He’d tried to leave the moment Scootaloo was mentioned, and vanished when she’d shown up. He’d appeared before Thistleroot only when he was alone.
The truth snapped into focus in Thistleroot’s mind. “How long after we used the fragment of harmony were you actually free?”
Discord shrugged. “Oh, who knows. After a thousand years in stone the individual minutes start running together anyway.”
If the numbers Sunburst had come up with were even close to accurate, it had worked within minutes, if not immediately. Discord had continued looking like a stone statue for the same reason he’d vanished when Scootaloo showed up. She’d once considered him a friend, and under the right circumstances, could be his friend again.
Discord, the Spirit of Disharmony, was running away.
“I don’t know what she was like when she was younger,” Thistleroot said. “But you know, she’s a pretty great pony. You should go talk to her.”
“Oh please, I’ve got better things to do than to catch up with an old acquaintance.”
“She’s doing really well these days too, considering how many times she’s almost died thanks to you,” Thistleroot said, panic at what Discord could do to him tempered by a growing sense of anger. He leaned back in his seat as Discord looked up from the book.
Thistleroot used his hoof to make invisible tally marks in the air. “There was the time Lirian kidnapped, that other time Lirian kidnapped her, the changeling that pretended to be me while I was kidnapped, yeah, a lot of kidnapping, actually, all because she wanted to be your friend. Because for some reason some of us are stupid enough to try befriending our enemies, even though common sense and any sane pony would tell us it’s a terrible idea, and they’ll just stab you in the back as soon as it’s convenient.”
Thistleroot glanced toward the entrance to the tent, distracted for a moment before Discord answered. Discord tilted his head. “We are still talking about Scootaloo, right?”
“Who else would we be talking about?” Thistleroot shook his head. “I don’t know everything that happened before, but Princess Celestia and Scootaloo told me enough. She was your friend, even if you weren’t hers. I can only imagine what she went through when she realized you were just manipulating her. Not at that age, with everything else she’d gone through. I do know how much it hurts to find out somepony you thought was your friend doesn’t care about you, though.”
“Okay,” Discord said, still sounding bored as he rested his chin on the back of his taloned hand. “What exactly is your point? As I said, I’m Discord. You do know what that word means, don’t you? Am I supposed to feel bad about hurting somepony’s feelings?”
“Would you have avoided her if you didn’t?” Thistleroot asked. Discord was silent. After a few seconds, he turned his attention back to reading. “Was there ever a moment you considered her more than a pawn?” Thistleroot pressed.
Discord sighed and dropped the book.
“Come on,” Thistleroot said, “You can say it. I promise, she won’t hear a word of it from me.” He mimed a locking motion over his mouth.
“Fine,” Discord said, tilting his head side to side, as though trying to work an errant thought loose. “There was, maybe, a second or two here or there. It’s quite lonely being trapped in stone, so having somepony to talk to was better than nothing. So, maybe it prompted me to do a few things I didn’t strictly have to.”
“Like what?” Thistleroot asked.
“Hmm. Well, there was one thing. Rainbow Dash had offered to spend time with Scootaloo, and Scootaloo had accepted. Once she realized she’d have to fly, she changed her mind. A well timed nudge convinced Rainbow Dash to follow and ask why, rather than continue without her, and she offered to teach Scootaloo to fly,” Discord shrugged. “In the end it served to make their falling out more effective, and served my goals, but I suppose in the moment I might have been trying to be nice. You know, it was such a long time ago, who can say, really?”
“You never told me that,” Scootaloo said from the tent entrance. Discord stiffened.
“Oh, was I supposed to mention she was watching us?” Thistleroot asked. “I feel like I should have mentioned she was watching us.”
“Thistleroot, could we have some privacy?” Scootaloo asked.
“Sure.” Thistleroot hopped out of the seat and made his way toward the exit. Scootaloo stopped him with a hoof as he was passing.
“Mimic?” She asked, voice gentle.
His face fell. “She’s with her brother. I doubt we’ll see her again, so let’s just leave it at that.”
Scootaloo hesitated, biting her bottom lip, and then nodded. Thistleroot left the tent. As the flap closed behind him, he heard Discord speak.
“Hello, Scootaloo.”
*****
“Hello, Discord,” Scootaloo answered.
There was silence in the tent. What could she even say, Scootaloo wondered? Long time no see, sorry for trapping you in stone again? By the way, the world is coming to an end, and we could really use your help?
Discord didn’t seem to know any better than she did. Silence dragged on for another few seconds, and then another minute, and then five minutes. She considered moving to one of the chairs, but after standing still for so long, suddenly moving seemed awkward. The only sound in the tent was her own breathing.
“So,” Scootaloo said as the silence finally became unbearable, “long time no see. Uh, sorry for trapping you in stone again.”
Discord arched an eyebrow at that. “Yes well, you already apologized for that.” He glanced away. “And I suppose I’m sorry for letting Chrysalis brainwash your friends, giving you and Spike nightmares, and convincing Princess Luna to steal the Elements of... wait, no. You were fine with that part.”
Scootaloo glanced away, chagrined. “Oh yeah, I forgot about that part. I mean, it made sense at the time.”
“It did. I really did outdo myself that time.”
“Uhm, yeah. I guess...” Scootaloo moved around the table to sit down, now that the initial awkwardness had been broken. Discord didn’t say anything else, and silence fell again. “By the way, the world is coming to an end, and we could really use your help.”
“Oh, it’s hardly coming to an end,” Discord said. “Well, for some ponies, sure, but most of you will survive just fine.”
Scootaloo pursed her lips. “We want to stop it from ending for anypony. To do that, we have to beat Nocturne. The only problem is we don’t know how.” She paused, considering if she should tell him more. Not that it would matter if he knew or not. “The Elements of Harmony were destroyed.”
“Oh, I doubt that,” Discord said. He picked up a golden bound tome on the table in front of him, the same he’d been reading when Scootaloo had peaked inside after hearing his voice. He flipped it open and read, “The law of conservation of magic: magic can not be created or destroyed, only altered from one form to another.”
“Whatever. They were altered then. Altered into useless specks of dust. The point is, we can’t use them on her.”
“Not that they would do much against her,” Discord said.
Scootaloo frowned. “What do you mean? They beat you, and you beat her, right?”
“Yes, but it’s not a matter of pure strength,” Discord said. “Sure, the Elements of Harmony are powerful enough to beat just about anything, and maybe even fight to a standstill against the more powerful eternal spirits, but they only beat me because of all of their annoying symbolism. You of all ponies should know how that worked.”
“Oh, right,” Scootaloo said. Of course the symbolism had been important. It was why he’d needed the Elements of Disharmony. “How did you beat her?”
“The same way the elements beat me. I had a weapon designed to fight her.”
Scootaloo’s ears perked up. There was another weapon? One that worked on Nocturne? If they could find it, would it be enough to even the odds between them? “Discord, my friends and I are going to keep fighting Nocturne. We could really use your help.”
Discord set the book down, looking down in thought.
“Please.”
“Oh, I suppose,” Discord said, hopping out of the seat and floating above the table. “Who knows, it might even be fun. Let’s get started.”
“It’s a little late to do any—” Scootaloo started, but cut off as she saw the look on Discord’s face. The thoughtful, almost sad look he’d been wearing for their entire conversation had been replaced by a gleeful smile as his talons came up.
“Who’s ready for some chaos?” Discord asked, and snapped.