The ups and downs of the emotional roller coaster of yesterday disappeared quickly when sleep took me. Once it had a hold of me, those ups vanished, leaving me alone to wallow in darkness. Indistinct forms in the shadows crept about and before long, I found myself back at the reception, being greeted by a familiar voice.
“Well, well, scrote. I knew you liked that show, but I didn’t think you’d go this far!”
I cringed at my ‘nickname’, “W-what is that supposed to…” I stopped in my tracks as I looked over my body to find that I was still a pegasus, the murmur of the other guests starting to rise in volume.
All he did was start to laugh at me, along with everyone else. I yelled for them to stop, which only made them jeer at me. Unable to deal with the strain, I ran from the building, but their voices only grew louder and louder, overwhelming my senses. I tried to take to the air in a vain escape effort, but my wings wouldn’t cooperate. Soon after, I found my legs had no strength left in them to continue running, and I felt frozen in place despite my frantic attempts to get them working, as my brother walked up to me again. Panic set in as he spoke.
“Ha, ha. Useless as a human, and now useless as a pony. No wonder you wouldn’t stay with Mom that night.” His condescending tone echoed loudly in my ears, which made them flatten on my head as I gave up my escape attempt. He was right, I was useless. My job, while I earned good money, never felt fulfilling, and as a pony I could only hover! I eventually was surrounded by humans, when my brother walked up to me and started to reach for me with a saddle, with my Mom there, passively watching, but holding a bridle and a crop. My brother continued, “If you were useless as a human, the least you can do is give rides to little girls and boys.” he said with an evil laugh. I didn’t stop them from putting the saddle and bridle on me, then tied me to a post where I gave rides all day long. My brother, always there with a sneer as he gave the crop to the little girl riding me at the time. It was when she hit me that I bolted upright in my bed and screamed, sweat pouring down my face.
I couldn’t get back to sleep after that, so I went to the bathroom to start my morning routine. Before I started, however, I looked in the mirror to see the face I was still trying to get used to that was mine. My feelings were all over the place as if they were on a wheel that kept spinning over and over. Remorse, depression, fear…it was only a matter of time before they started to run my life. Happiness made rare appearances that I cherished every time it made itself known. I shoved those feelings aside and decided to preen my feathers instead of showering first. Pain shot through my wing like fire as I spread it, and my eyes watered at the sensation. While it might have been something that could be akin to workout pains, it worried me nonetheless, and it made my preening all the more difficult because I couldn’t hold my wings as steady as I would like. Despite this, I got my wings to a presentable state and took my shower. Letting the hot water just run over my coat, I reflected on Rainbow’s words, which combined with my nightmare and everything else, just sent me deeper into a depression as if I were sinking into a deep-sea trench tied to a cinderblock. The shower became background noise as I felt like a shell of my former self, destined to be kicked around by others, never to fight back for my own identity.
I climbed out of my funk to turn off the shower and dry myself. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I realized that living here, with them, wasn’t going to be just like the show. I had deluded myself into thinking it was all sunshine and rainbows here, when I hadn’t thought that there would be more going on that was never shown. It was scary, now that I thought about it, how closely this resembled my past life. Perhaps it would be better all around for me to just avoid as many ponies that I’ve hurt. At least I wouldn’t be subject to continued torment. Fluttershy and Pinkie would be obvious exceptions, of course.
I got my scrubs back on, checked my wings once more, then made my way to breakfast and picked at my food, the nightmare last night still fresh in my mind. When Twilight came in, I furrowed my brow at her before taking a more vested interest in breakfast.
“Good morning, Maverick.” she said with a yawn.
“Morning, Twi.” I responded with my own yawn and twitched my wings a bit, still feeling some pain from my earlier preening, to say nothing of the nightmare that plagued my mind at the same time.
Even in the morning, Twilight was still observant enough to notice my mood, “Is…there anything wrong?”
“Nope, I’m ok.” I looked around furtively for an excuse to get away when my eyes settled on the clock, giving me an idea. I scarfed down the rest of breakfast, the mumbled to Twilight, “Mmmfff…I’m going to be late! Gotta go!”
“Ok, but don’t forget to go to Rarity’s after your training! She needs your help around the shop!”
All I gave her was a, “Yeah, yeah…” as a response as I bolted out of the castle as fast as I could. I waited until I was well away from the castle before I slowed to a simple trot, since I was actually going to be an hour early. This afforded me time to get a muffin at SugarCube Corner, which let me also say ‘hi’ to Pinkie. Her infectious attitude caused me to feel a little better, but not enough to snap me out of my funk.
Fluttershy was already in the meadow that we were using for my training as I arrived, “Good morning, Fluttershy!” I greeted her in a false, cheery voice. I was still in a bad mood after the nightmare, but I didn’t want to burden her with that. My mind wandered a bit due to the pain I was feeling from my wings, worried that I might disappoint her with my performance (or possible lack thereof) today. She worked so hard with me to get my flight to where it was today. To be forced to stop because I hurt my wings for my stupid decision to hover so long…well I wouldn’t be able to handle that. I could see it now – I crash, have to tell Fluttershy what I did, and then she gives up on teaching me how to fly. I wasn’t going to let that happen. It was then that I noticed the squirrel was there, seemingly content to watch our goings on.
“Good morning, Maverick. I want to apologize for Rainbow yesterday. Sometimes she doesn’t realize what she’s saying. I had a little talk with her.”
“It’s ok, Fluttershy. I’ve already forgotten it.” I lied behind a forced smile that I hoped she couldn’t read through.
“In any case, I told Rainbow that she should apologize to you directly.”
I showed her my wings again, suppressing a wince at the pain so she could examine my preening. “Very good, Maverick. I think you have preening down well, and that feather will be back in a couple of weeks if you keep up the good work. Let’s warm up with some wingups.”
I chuckled a little at the unintended rhyme and started the exercises, despite the pain I was in. I hid my face from her so she wouldn’t see any expression of pain that might come through. We then moved on to gliding, and I silently prayed that my wings held out when I spread them, a small tear coming at the amount of pain they were communicating to me. I really didn’t want to let her down, but the feeling that this was going to end badly kept gnawing at the edge of my thoughts. As I jumped, time seemed to slow down, my wings refusing to maintain position as my pain increased tenfold, compounded by colliding with a few branches until my forehooves dragged along the ground. My hind end raised up in the air as I started to somersault head over hooves before my momentum was stopped by hitting a tree. Through my daze, I start crying inside as I knew I had let her down. Fluttershy rushed to my side to see if I was all right, finding that I had a laceration on my right forehoof, some missing feathers from my left wing, and my eye swollen shut from where I hit the tree. I half expected Squirrely to swoop in and start laughing at me, but instead he had moved nearby, looking almost as concerned as Fluttershy. She had Squirrely get a freezing sponge for my eye. I waited for her to berate me as other ponies had already done, but was surprised instead as she asked me what I did last night after our training while she tended to my injuries. I filled her in on the odd jobs I had done in the castle for Twilight.
“Well, no wonder you crashed. You must have overdone it with the work you did last night. Let me help you get those kinks out, then we’ll work on your pegasus senses. Please sit down.”
I did as she requested, sitting on my haunches with my forelegs down. It amazed me how comfortable and natural this position felt as Fluttershy walked around me and started to massage my wing joints. I gasped at the sensation and almost dropped to my belly, it felt so good.
“Wow, Fluttershy. This feels amazing…” I moaned, eyes drooping at how she seemed to magically soothe the tension out of my wings. When she was done, I had almost fallen asleep when she nudged me awake.
“Maverick, you should be fine now, but no more flying or hovering for about a week or two.”
“I promise, no more hovering or flying until you say otherwise. Thanks, Fluttershy, the massage hit the spot.”
Since she had me effectively grounded, we went through her house to her roof so she could teach me how to listen to my pegasus senses. That was something incredible to feel for the first time. She had me close my eyes to make it easier for me to pay attention to what my wings were telling me. It wouldn’t be until my flying greatly improved that these senses would become second nature. All the pressures of the wind going around me and what they meant - a bird flying by here, another pegasus there, and a cloud sitting above us. If I had to describe it better, I would say that it reminded me of beautiful autumn day, the leaves changing colors as ponies, birds, etc. move through the sky. I think she flew around me because I felt warm air move through my wings, giving me the impression of a pegasus slightly above me and to my left. I turned my head to the location and opened my eyes to find out I was right, and Fluttershy was hovering there, smiling at me. A smaller wave moved toward me and I was turning toward it and saw Squirrely come in and land. He handed me an olive branch and smiled at me. “Oh, Squirrely, thanks! No hard feelings here.” it was enough to get my mind off of the more depressing things that have happened to me.
We had a couple of hours after lunch to train some more, making me even more adept with my senses, before I headed over to Rarity’s to help make up for the destroyed dress. My eye looked a lot better, thanks to Fluttershy and Squirrely’s help, so at least I no longer looked like I got smacked in the face by a Manticore. Along the way, I noticed a little vacant house with a ‘For Sale’ sign in front. It had a second floor with balcony. I looked closer, noting a missing section of fencing for the small front yard as well as a few balcony supports. I did like the paint scheme, a deep brown on the corner supports, with a lighter khaki on the walls and a beige, thatched roof. I made a mental note of where it was, as I didn’t have time to inspect the interior. When I entered Carousel Boutique, I couldn’t help but remember Rarity’s attack on me, and I immediately called out, “Good afternoon, Rarity. I’m here to help out around the boutique. Please don’t throw a pillow.”
She chuckled, “Greetings, Maverick. I appreciate any help you can give, and I’m done throwing pillows.” She gasps as she turned toward me, “Darling! What happened to you!”
I refused to deny it, it would be an insult to her, “Let’s just say that I had an unfortunate incident with a tree, and the tree won.” I looked away in embarrassment, “It looks worse than it feels, I’m fine.”
“Well, if you say so, but it looks rather bad. Would you like some makeup to hide that eye of yours?”
As much as I would love to hide this even more, I wasn’t about to start wearing makeup, “As enticing as that is, Rarity, I’d much rather not.”
“I think I understand where you’re coming from. Let’s get to work, shall we? First, can you please help move some of those ponyquins over to that side of the floor? Also, I’m expecting a client to come and pick up her dress. But before all that, you need to get changed, those hospital scrubs are a travesty to fashion, and your first set of clothing is done.”
“Wait, first set?” I inquired, as she levitated a box over to a changing room as I went in. The shorts were a classy yellow, just a shade deeper than Fluttershy’s coat, the shirt a sky blue, just like Rainbow’s coat, but with a little bit of a rainbow color when looked at just right in the sunlight. At least they were more comfortable than those scrubs, even when they were new. The interesting part was getting the shirt on, which had two extra holes for my wings, “I love these Rarity, but what do you mean that this was the ‘First set’? What else do you have in mind?”
“Pfft...bah, a slip of the tongue, don’t worry about it, darling. Now please get to moving those ponyquins.”
“Sure thing, Rarity,” I answered. I didn’t bother to push for more information, and started to move the ponyquins she had requested. Satisfied after I moved the first of several to the other side, she went to her workroom as she had some designs to finish up on. I had one more to move when the front door opened. I turned to face the pony that just entered and dropped the ponyquin I was moving at the sight of her. A light pink mare with magenta mane, along with a visible sneer that just screamed ‘I have money, you have none, worship me!’, somepony who, in the back of my mind, had hoped to never meet, Spoiled Rich, and a cold shiver ran up my spine.
“Rarity, dear, is my dress ready?”
I bit my tongue so I wouldn’t make a mess of things, “Greetings, welcome to Carousel Boutique, how may I help you?”
She eyed me with contempt, “I seriously doubt it. Where is Rarity? I want my dress.”
“Rarity is busy right now, however she informed me somepony would be dropping by for her dress. I will retrieve it for you,” with that, I headed in back to get the dress. After I entered the room, I was dumbfounded as to where it would be, but after some examination, she appeared to have them organized by first name, which made it easier for me to find it. I came out of the room and hoofed it to her, “Your dress, ma’am.”
“Well, it’s about time!” she said with that snooty accent of hers.
“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” I asked, ignoring her attitude.
“I seriously doubt it, especially from you.”
I merely responded with, “Ma’am.” and hoped that was the end of our encounter. Boy, was I wrong!
She walked around me, continuing to look down on me with her piercing stare that would give Medusa a run for her money to turn somepony into stone, “Don’t think I haven’t a clue who you are, either. You are that pony that showed up and caused the disturbance through town the other day. If it were up to me, I would run you out of town entirely.”
“Then I am pleased it is not up to you.” I retorted, unable to keep the snark out of that response.
“It should be…,” She finished her walkaround of me, then moved closer as she berated me, “You who have no business being here, in the company of Rarity, much less myself. Such an irresponsible and useless pony probably couldn’t do something as simple as paint a house!”
Her words froze me in place. I attempted to ignore her as she continued on, but my efforts were futile in front of the barrage of insults. At times, I thought she would hit me in the chest or something, but she maintained her distance. Memories of my nightmare resurfaced, reflecting what my brother keeps saying in them, as well as an episode of when my boss gave me a verbal lashing after I said something I shouldn’t have about some reports.
Rarity appeared from her workroom to see what the commotion was. “Spoiled, I would expect a pony of your stature to refrain from insulting my assistant.”
“Rarity, he doesn’t belong here after what he did!” Spoiled responded with a cold stare in my direction, “He dared to imply that I was out of shape to wear this!”
“Spoiled, your allegations do not befit a pony of your stature. He has been nothing but pleasant to talk to and is working to make amends for his actions. Please leave, now.”
The rest of what Spoiled said turned into mumbling, as I took the opportunity to slink into a back room, and could only just flop down in a shivering mess. My eyes shut as my memories betrayed me once again with my mom’s disapproving face that appeared in my nightmare, saying things I couldn’t understand. The outside world lost focus as if I had left the range of an FM radio station, turning into static background noise to the inner workings of my mind, destroying what good mood I had.
Rarity found and carefully approached me as I shook, “Darling, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Are you ok?”
When I failed to respond to her, she moved closer and shook me a little bit, startling me, my wings reflexively snapped open, accidentally smacking Rarity in her muzzle.
“Ahh!” I shouted, “S-sorry, R-Rarity.” I stammered, closing my wings, yet still shaking from the encounter. “I-I think I’ll be all right…”
“Darling, no matter what she said, you are not a useless pony. Fluttershy tells me that you’ve been doing well and even Twilight noted that you help her.”
“I suppose so.” I respond, unconvinced that somehow Spoiled was right.
Rarity immediately noticed that I was uncomfortable being in customer’s view, “I have just the thing,” she said as she led me into a back storage room, where she had me tidying up. I wasn’t even in any mood to keep working, but I had to keep my promise. When I was done, I headed back to the castle, my mood again soured by somepony that had to ruin it.
When I got back to the castle, Twilight heard me passing and started to talk as she turned around, “Maverick, I’m glad you’re back! I have your…” she stopped her sentence as she turned around and saw me, gasping, “Maverick! What in Celestia’s name happened to you?”
I wanted to just go hide in my room to drown in my own sorrow, “I’m okay. It’s nothing to worry about. I’m just going to go to my room for now, ok?”
“Please, tell me, what happened?”
“Nothing special happened, really, I just won’t be flying soon. Rarity and Fluttershy can fill you in on the details. I’ll be in my room.”
“I’ll put your pay in my safe, just come to me when you want to claim it.”
I merely waved a hoof toward her as I walked off to my room, where I closed and locked my door. A sigh escaped my lips as my face made itself known through a look in my dresser mirror as I walked over to the window. I reared up and hooked my forehooves over the windowsill, looking up at Luna’s night sky. A look in a mirror would tell me I’m a pony, but inside, I only see myself as I was on Earth, pretending to be a pony, and it felt horrible.