Dear Princess Celestia,
Remember how Fluttershy turned into a bitch for a while, treated Rarity and Pinkie like shit but then became remorseful? Once I heard about this, I saw an opportunity. I headed over to her cottage thinking that maybe she would be more of a doormat than usual. When she opened the door she had a look of lust in her eyes and I immediately thought, "Sweet, I'm gonna get laid by Fluttershy!"
Unfortunately, when she led me in to her cottage, she was in her "New Fluttershy" mode and not only knocked me to the floor and stomped me, but she ordered her critters to claw me. What a terrible bitch of an acquaintance. She gives me a look of lust making me think I could initiate her but then I find myself on the floor, being stomped and clawed by useless animals.
You know something, that is a crime! She needs to be punished for this and REPLACED. Twinkleshine was always so sweet and kind so perhaps you could send PETA girl to Tartarus and Twinkleshine into my sex deprived, extremely needy hooves. Just let me know when you're going to take care of those two issues so I can notify the spa twins and celebrate.
Attacked by PETA Girl,
Twilight Sparkle
To Twibitch's Mentor,
Would you care to explain why your student came over to bother New Fluttershy? New Fluttershy was making plans on how she was going to go punish that half blind mail pony for delivering the wrong mail to her cottage again before doing what it took to purge your perverted student from her life, all of our lives!
Regarding Twilight, after what New Fluttershy and her animals did to her, hopefully she will leave New Fluttershy alone and stop wanting to initiate her. If she tries this again, New Fluttershy may not be so nice, she may decide to kill her and share her corpse with her pet bear.
Ready to Kill Twibitch,
New Fluttershy
Dear Twilight Sparkle,
Wait a minute, you decided you would try and take advantage of a pony who had just had a mental breakdown, one in which she was very aggressive for a while? You are obviously even dumber than I ever imagined. You should be glad that Fluttershy didn't break your back or feed you to that pet bear I understand she has.
Look, I know you want to initiate her one day but I would advise you steer clear of her for a while. She is in the mood to kill right now, well kill you anyway, and it would be absolutely heartbreaking to see her bring your banishment to a tragically short end. I would advise you go to the spa and get yourself some pampering because it seems like you could really use it right now.
Laughing Fluttershy Hurt You,
Princess Celestia
P.S. I am not going to replace Fluttershy over this, especially not with Twinkleshine. Fluttershy is simply going through a rough time and to be honest, I'm glad she and her animals attacked you. Maybe it will teach you to stop being such a damn stalker and wait until Fluttershy wants to be initiated.
Dear New Fluttershy,
Could you do me a favor and not kill Twilight? I know you're mad that she thought she could take advantage of you at a rough time but look at it this way. If you were to kill her, you would be rewarding her with death for harassing you. Just let her continue to be miserable, that would be a much worse punishment than death, alright?
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
P.S. Luna found out you wanted me to die so you may not have any pleasant dreams for quite some time. Just to make things funny though, she plans on throwing a sex crazed, very sadistic Twilight into all of them.