Deathstroke sat on the edge of the roof of an office building, looking out over the unfamiliar city, lost in thought.
"Wow. Slade Wilson. Deathstroke the Terminator. It is SUCH an honor to meet you!"
Deathstroke started and glanced to his right. His eye widened behind his mask.
A man was perched on the ledge next to him. Like Deathstroke himself, this man wore a costume which concealed every inch of his body, predominantly blood red with black accents and large black highlights around the white eyes. He wore an array of weapons and utility pouches, again not unlike Deathstroke himself.
"I. Am SUCH. A fan," the red-suited man gushed. "Love your work, even that pussed-out version of you from the Teen Titans cartoon! You are so badass and so hardcore that, heh, I'm made in your image. No, literally," he continued as he reached into one of his pouches and pulled out a pair of comic books, which he thrust into Deathstroke's face. "I am literally a parody of you. See? You're Slade Wilson, I'm Wade Wilson. You're Deathstroke, I'm Deadpool. Twinsies!"
"Amusing," Deathstroke said, drawing a submachine gun from behind his back. "Die."
"Can't, sorry," Deadpool said. "No, I mean I literally can't. You can waste every bullet you have in that thing on me and it won't do anything. Perfect healing factor."
Deathstroke frowned behind his mask, but put his gun away. "What do you want?" he hissed menacingly.
"Oh, I just wanted to say hi," Deadpool said airily. "And, y'know, to remind the fatass behind the keyboard that you're even IN this story since he COMPLETELY FORGOT until he was watching MY movie on cable! ON CABLE! He's GOT the Bluray! It's sitting right next to his PlayStation! But can he be bothered to put it in and watch it? Nooo! He waits until I'm on goddamn cable and watches me as background noise while he plays Candy Crush!" Deadpool was standing up and waving his arms around as he ranted. "I mean, what the fuck? So yeah, he forgot you were in the story, so I decided I'd remind him. Y'know, since he's watching my movie right now and stuff and I'm a parody of you."
Deathstroke could only stare blankly at Deadpool. "Are you...high on something?"
"Oh, about a million different painkillers and like, ALL the cocaine," Deadpool said nonchalantly. "But I'm so crazy sober it doesn't matter. Anyway, good luck with fake Batman and all! Wade Wilson out!" And with that, Deadpool jumped off the roof.
He never hit the ground. Deathstroke didn't even see him disappear. He just did.
"What a turd," Deathstroke decided, before leaving the roof in a more dignified manner.
* * * * *
"Y'think I'm scared of you, ya creepy crap?"
Rainbow Dash, her entire body tense and trembling, her stance aggressive and posturing, was staring intently at a happily bouncing pink pile of poop. With arms, legs, and a face. It was a small poop, and its cheerful smile and bouncy body language could almost be considered adorable...
Except, well, it was poop.
Sunset Shimmer rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Terry, who was working with Rarity and Enzan to make a new Batsuit. Despite his age, Enzan proved surprisingly adept at microcircuitry and programming—in Terry's estimation, he could give Bruce a run for his money. Maybe.
"So why is it a bad idea to try to take the ring from Cadance?" Sunset asked.
Terry sighed, setting down his soldering iron. His eyes clouded from a painful memory. "I had...this friend once," he said roughly. "She became a Star Sapphire, but the ring started to...well..." He grimaced. "Star Sapphire rings are tied to emotions, especially emotions related to love. She was...we were..."
"An item?" Rarity suggested.
"A fling," Terry said. "And a dangerous one. Also, I actually had a girlfriend. Ten...she was a criminal, part of a gang of thieves. I mean, we couldn't be together. It was...it was chemistry. The wrong kind."
"Ooh, forbidden love," Rarity said, wincing.
"Yeah, well, that forbidden love led down a bad road once Ten got her ring..."
* * * * *
"Why are you doing this again, Ten?" Batman asked roughly as he deflected a bolt of violet energy with his arm spines.
Melanie Walker, formerly known as Ten of the Royal Flush Gang, hovered in the air above him, limned in a pinkish-violet glow. The skintight half-black, half-white costume she'd worn as Ten had been largely reproduced by the Star Sapphire ring she wore, except in tones of lavender and glossy black, with the Star Sapphire emblem in place of the number 10 above her right breast. The original hood from the costume was missing, in favor of the violet headgear worn by all Star Sapphires, and Melanie's long blond hair flowed freely down her back.
"I'm NOT Ten!" Melanie snarled, firing another violet laser at Batman. "And don't think I haven't figured out who you are, TERRY!" She deflected a trio of Batarangs, responding in kind with a hard light boomerang that Batman dodged. "You're still with Dana Tan! You were ALWAYS with Dana! You were never going to...even after I went straight..." She dropped to the ground, curling in on herself. Tears streamed from her eyes. "I held out hope...and you hurt me..."
Batman's shoulder slumped. "Mel...I'm sorry..."
"Sorry? SORRY?!" Melanie screeched and hurled several rings of light at Batman, which chased him as he dodged; a whip of violet light snared him, and the rings snapped around him, binding his arms and legs. "I'll give you sorry, you...!" Tears streaming from her eyes, she advanced on him, holding a sharp sword made of violet light. Batman struggled against his bonds, looking up at her in dread...
"You need to chill, girl."
A glowing green shield enveloped Batman. A moment later, dozens of green light projectiles hurtled past, forcing Melanie on the defensive, slicing this way and that with her sword to parry.
A slender, shapely black girl with magenta hair dropped into view, wearing a form-fitting green and black costume and a green domino mask. Emerald light surrounded her. "Holdin' up okay Bats?"
Batman blinked. "Max...ine...?"
"I'll catch you up later. Right now, we've gotta WHOA!"
Dozens of violet lasers exploded away from Melanie as she shrieked like a banshee.
* * * * *
"It took two hours to get her to drain off enough energy that we could capture her," Terry told his rapt, horrified audience. "The ring bonded itself to her as a true Star Sapphire. It's part of her body now. They have to keep her in a special cell under constant surveillance." He bowed his head. "Be careful how you deal with your friend. Whatever you do, don't try to force her to give up her ring. Trust me, it won't end well."
In the silence that followed, Cadance emerged, suited up in her Star Sapphire costume. "Rainbow Dash, come with me," she snapped. "We're going to look for that Nietzschean bastard."
"Uhh...sure," Rainbow said listlessly. She looked to the others, who looked back uncertainly.
"Keep an eye on her," Sunset said softly. "Call if there's a problem."
Rainbow nodded, suited up, and took off after Cadance.
"Will she be alright?" Rarity asked.
"Most of the Star Sapphires are fairly stable," Terry said. "But it's a razor's edge with that ring." He, Rarity, and Enzan went back to work in silence.
* * * * *
"Beeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrawrawrawrawrawraw, KERSPLASH!"
Saotome Ranma blew on her dripping bangs with a flat, annoyed, bored expression. "Ya gonna knock it off anytime soon, squirt?"
"I wouldn't use the word 'squirt' if I were you, Ranma-kun," Shidou Hikaru said, giggling. The third member of their little group, Radical Edward, ran around in circles making airplane noises, arms spread out to her sides. Two buckets of water balloons sat on steel folding chairs in opposite corners of the room.
"I have to say I sure am going to miss you kids." A tall woman with pale yellow skin, high cheekbones, and two-tone light purple hair in a stylish wave walked into the room carrying two plastic bags and a thick manila envelope. "You two have been good for business!"
"Sorry, Mrs. Ocean Flow," Hikaru said apologetically. "As much as we love it here, we're never gonna make it back where we belong if we don't start looking for answers."
"I understand," Ocean Flow said. "I picked up some things you might need on your trip, and since you've both done such a good job, I've got a little bonus pay for you."
"Aww, thanks," Ranma said sheepishly. "You didn't gotta go an' do all that."
"Oh, it's no trouble at all, dear!" Ocean Flow assured with an airy wave of her hand. She paused, looking around the room, and frowned mildly. "Umm...one of you is mopping up this mess before you go, right?"
Ranma and Hikaru both stared pointedly at Ed. Ed stopped running and blinked, pointing at her chin. "Did Ed make a mess? Did Ed cause distress?"
"YES!" Ranma and Hikaru shouted in unison.
"Look, Ed-chan, just...please stop goofing off and clean up all this water, okay?" Hikaru asked.
Ed saluted chipperly. "Aye-Aye, Knight Captain sir!" Blubbering her lips to make motorboat noises, Ed zoomed over to the supply closet and got out the mop and bucket, then went to work. The others stared after her.
"Is she...is she, you know, all right?" Ocean Flow asked.
"Heck if I know," Ranma said, wringing some water out of her shirt. "I think she might be one'a those castaway kids you hear about. Y'know, they get shipwrecked, they're th' only one that survives, they get stuck on a deserted island for years, when they finally find 'em they're all kooky in th' head?"
"That...would explain a lot," Hikaru said slowly. "Except for how scary she is with electronics. I mean, she jailbroke both our phones in two seconds!"
"Silly billies, Ed isn't a shipwreck kid, Ed is a space cowboy hacker person!" Ed said with a laugh as she passed by, swinging her mop around like a dance partner.
Before anyone could think of a response to that, all the lights dimmed suddenly and the ground began to shake violently. "What the—?" Ranma wondered.
"Is it an earthquake?" Hikaru asked.
"We don't get those here," Ocean Flow said fretfully. "I don't—"
Over by the window, Ed suddenly gasped in delight. "Ooh, spaceship, spaceship! Ed wants to play with it! Oh, but Ed doesn't have a computer..."
The others rushed over to the window just as a massive shadow blotted out the sun. They looked outside and gasped.
A massive, curved blue-green spaceship was erupting from the sea, churning up high waves and shaking the entire beachfront. The central part of the ship was an oblong, ovoid pod somewhat resembling a futuristic submarine; it hung suspended from the center of a framework of curved metal beams that formed a set of forward-swept "wings". Ridged detailing along the inside of the curve was painted a bright, gleaming gold. As it fully emerged from the ocean, it let off one broad, thumping pulse that caused everyone to lurch violently and kicked up twenty feet of spray, then shot into the stratosphere, leaving a deafening sonic boom in its wake.
The group inside blinked. Outside, the displaced water finally came down as sheets of torrential rain.
"Well...that happened," Ocean Flow said dazedly, sinking listlessly into the nearest chair.
"See you space cowboy!" Ed called, waving cheerfully out the window.
"Uhh...I got nothin'," Ranma said, swallowing heavily. "I've seen some pretty crazy shit, but that...I got nothin'."
"You and me both," Hikaru said, eyes wide.
* * * * *
With things relatively quiet for the moment, Tommy decided to head across town to Castle Grayskull to work directly with Sci-Twi on the Zord problem.
"So to sum it up, the Ranger team that arrived all together have their mecha, but you weren't able to bring any across with you?"
"It's more complicated than that," Tommy said with a sigh. "The thing is, right now, the only way I can become a Ranger is using Ranger Keys and a Key Morpher. The problem is, the Ranger Keys are, well..." He scratched his chin. "I wouldn't say copies exactly, but more the essence of the Ranger Power. The Zords aren't always directly connected to the Ranger Power itself, and even the ones that are don't transfer along with the essence that powers the Ranger Keys."
Twilight frowned. "So basically, these Ranger Keys let you transform into Power Rangers, but you only get about half of the power you'd get from the original source?"
"More or less," Tommy said. "And even if the Ranger Keys did summon Zords on their own—and there's only one set out there that does—I'd be the only one who could fight Lord Zedd and Naria's giant monsters. Most of my past Zords transform into Megazords all by themselves without needing to combine with others. All the other Zords work together and combine to form a powerful Megazord, but..."
"The Shadow Rangers' Ranger Keys are all from different Ranger teams, so their Zords wouldn't match up—wouldn't be designed to combine with each other," Twilight finished, nodding. "Yeah, I see the problem."
"Don't get me wrong, even without being able to combine, most Zords on their own pack plenty of firepower," Tommy said. "I mean, if we could even get access to just the Zords, with the Shadow Rangers' Zords backing up the new Power Rangers and their Megazord—"
"PowerMega."
"—right, PowerMega, plus Rodimus Prime, that should be enough firepower to handle whatever Zedd throws at us." Tommy ran his hand over a sheet of blueprints. "So basically, I'm hoping we can find a way to use the Ranger Keys as a homing beacon to pull the Zords into this dimension on purpose."
"Hmm. It's risky—it might accelerate the collapse of reality—but at this point..." Twilight sighed. "Things are gonna get worse before they get better, and we may need these Zords of yours." She adjusted her glasses. "Besides, if I can study them, reverse-engineer their schematics, I might be able to come up with a bypass system that'll let the Shadowbolts put together a functional Megazord out of whatever they have."
Tommy grinned. "Well, you're definitely as smart as Billy was. Maybe smarter. I don't doubt for a second you can do it."
Twilight blushed and cracked her knuckles. "Let's get to work."
* * * * *
Naoto and Kanji watched with interest as Starlight Glimmer and Spike relayed a message from Sunset Shimmer to Princess Twilight Sparkle. "So, to sum up," Naoto said, "your associate in another dimension writes messages in a magic journal. The messages she writes appear in that journal's twin here. You then use your magic to copy that message onto a blank parchment scroll, which Spike-kun incinerates with magic dragon fire. Rather than simply being burned to ash, the parchment scroll is magically transported to a different associate who is presently elsewhere in this world."
"That's basically it," Starlight said.
Kanji scratched his head. "Dude. Way too complicated. You totally need cellphones."
Starlight rolled her eyes. "Equestrian technology isn't quite there yet. Like, by several decades."
Naoto raised an eyebrow. "And yet you're aware of their existence and technological requirements?"
Starlight shrugged. "I've spent some time in the human world. I learned a few things. I do like television. I think we've got the right tech to invent it here, somepony just needs to get around to it." Starlight sighed. "But now isn't the time for that. I just had to send Twilight some really bad news. I hope she's sitting down when she reads it..."
* * * * *
A brief halt had been called to the mining and the team called back to base camp. Princess Twilight Sparkle introduced Kuvira to the mining team, and—with assistance—explained that Kuvira had a unique skill that would enable them, with a little luck, to finish up the mining and pack up to leave within a day.
After that, Kuvira moved aside with the specialists to discuss technical specifics of the mine and the bulfecium while everyone took the opportunity for a food and rest break. Twilight was in the middle of reviewing Sunburst's latest notes on the alloy they needed when a scroll burst into view in front of her. She took it in her magic and read it. Her eyes widened progressively as she read, then tightened in consternation, then went soft and wet. She sniffled as she rolled the scroll up and tucked it in her pack.
"Bad news?" Sunburst asked softly.
"It's..." Twilight paused. Her ears folded down. "There's a problem with the other world's Cadance," she said.
Sunburst gasped. "Oh my gosh. That's terrible. Err...how terrible is it?"
"Well, I've never actually met her, but from what I understand, that world's version of Cadance is a guidance counselor at CHS' rival school." Twilight wiped at her eyes. "I'm not even sure she and the other Shining Armor are together, Sci-Twi hasn't said much about that." Twilight shifted. "Anyway, apparently Rainbow Dash and Cadance both just got hold of some kind of magic rings that gave them superpowers, and then they ran into..." She took a deep breath, fighting down a shudder. "Tirek."
Sunburst whinnied in alarm. "Lord Tirek!?"
"Keep it down!" Twilight hissed, looking around, her ears pinned back. After a few seconds, she sighed and relaxed. "The other world's version of him. Who, apparently, also has a magic ring. And..." She bit her lip. "A history with that other Cadance. A bad one." She withdrew the scroll from her bag and offered it to Sunburst. He read it, biting his lip. His eyes widened.
"Wow," he said at length, floating the scroll back over to Twilight. "That's...that's wow."
"Yeah," Twilight said softly. "I mean...Cadance is from the future, Tirek's parents murdered everyone from her home? And that whole mess doesn't appear to have anything to do with the reality breach or Equestrian magic! It's just so, so...!"
"Random?"
"Yeah." Twilight sighed, flicking an ear. "I mean, it's...it's like the universe decided what's already happening isn't crazy enough, it had to go and make things even weirder..."
* * * * *
Ranma, Hikaru, and Ed stood in the middle of a sizeable crowd at the bus depot, each carrying a large tote slung over one shoulder. "Wouldn't flying be faster?" Hikaru wondered aloud.
"With all th' crazy shit goin' on?" Ranma retorted. "No way I'm trappin' myself in a metal tube thousands'a feet up in th' sky! Better to stay on th' ground in case shit goes sideways." He shrugged. "Anyway, I'd rather take a train, but th' line's out until up north'a here. I figure we'll take th' bus as far as until we can get a train, then go by train th' rest'a th' way."
"I guess," Hikaru said. She adjusted her grip on the strap of her bag. "So how long—ow!" She staggered as a small body bumped into her. A tiny boy in a gold-sleeved green silk tunic and loose dark green pants scrambled excitedly away. His skin was porcelain white, and he wore a tight-fitting brimless green cap with a red ball on top. "Hey, watch it!"
Nearby, someone else cried out as they were jostled, sending a ripple of movement through the crowd. Ranma glanced in that direction, noticing a gleaming bald head towering above the other waiting passengers. His eyes narrowed. "Wait a second..."
"Ooh, fast hands," Ed said. "Hikaru-person, check your pockets!"
"Huh? —My phone!" Hikaru fumbled around in her pockets, then looked from Ranma to the head of the crowd. "He stole my phone!"
Nearby, other passengers began murmuring and shouting. Mixed cries of outrage at being pickpocketed filled the air.
Ranma tensed. Just as the bus rolled in, he saw two figures—a tall, bald man and a short, porcelain-skinned kid—dash around the corner. Growling, he gave chase. Hikaru and Ed followed.
"HEY! THIEVES!" Ranma yelled. "Stop RIGHT THERE or I'm gonna give you a beatin' you won't forget!"
The taller thief turned to look back at him, a cocky, twisted smirk on his face. Ranma nearly faltered as he took in a detail about the thief that hadn't been apparent from behind:
"Thank you for your generous contributions," the three-eyed man said. "For your own safety, it's best you go get on your bus and forget you ever saw us."
"Screw that!" Ranma cried, pouring on the speed. Throwing his bag to Hikaru, he catapulted himself into a spinning somersault, sailing past the head of the taller thief. He spun around as he landed, sprang off his right hand, and launched himself at the thief in a sideways flying kick. His kick was met with a block, then a rapid series of finger jabs which Ranma evaded. Ranma countered with a hundred punches in under a second—all of which were blocked with open-hand slaps.
"Your speed is impressive," the triclops said. "But it's no match for my third eye."
"Then I'll just hafta poke it out!" Ranma retorted, springing back and coiling his lower body for a fast, upward thrust. He launched his attack in the blink of an eye...
...only to find himself face-first on the pavement, reeling in pain from an elbow strike to the neck from his opponent, who was suddenly behind him. A hazy, wavering afterimage of the triclops blurred in front of him, disappearing.
Hikaru gasped. "How did he—?"
"Everybody's kung fu fighting!" Ed chirped. "They're fast as lightning! It's a little bit frightening!"
The short, white-skinned boy slowly slipped away from his friend and Ranma. Hikaru noticed him, narrowed her eyes, and pointed two fingers in his direction. A bolt of fire lanced out, knocking him off his feet.
"Don't be in such a rush to leave!" Hikaru yelled as she dashed over, diving on top of the smaller thief. "You've still got something that belongs to me!"
"CHIAOTZU!" the triclops yelled.
"I'm okay, Tien," Chiaotzu answered, sliding out from under Hikaru's clumsy tackle and patting himself down. "Watch out for that other guy, he's good!"
"Hn," Tien grunted, smirking. "I guess he's got a little skill. He's nothing to write home about."
"Why you...!" Ranma growled and pressed another series of lightning fast attacks. Tien blocked with contemptuous ease, then landed a triple spinning kick that sent Ranma flying.
Tien cracked his knuckles and his neck as Ranma slowly stood up, rubbing the back of his neck. "Had enough?"
Ranma narrowed his eyes. "We're just gettin' started," he spat.
* * * * *
"Hold on, I've got something," Sci-Twi said, adjusting her glasses. "I'm picking up an energy reading matching the parameters—"
An explosion rocked the castle. Sci-Twi's equipment began beeping and whistling like crazy. Her glasses slid down her nose, her jaw dropping. "A portal! It's—it's HUGE! Outside!"
"Let's go!" Tommy and Sci-Twi raced down the halls of Grayskull, others falling in step with them, headed for the gates. When they got outside, they all drew back in shock, staring at the massive monster which had just appeared in the heart of the city.
It was a robotic Tyrannosaur, bright red with a gold tail and underbelly and glowing blue eyes. Its short forearms gleamed silver in the fading light from the portal that had discharged it. Red lightning snapped all around it, sending showers of sparks and small explosions skyward.
"What...what IS that thing?!" Elsa gasped, staring up in shock.
"It's a Zord," Tommy breathed. "It's...it's one of the Dino Charge Zords!"
"Its energy readings are all wrong, though," Sci-Twi said, frowning. "Like, it's carrying the opposite polarity of—" She gasped. "LOOK OUT!"
The world shook violently as Gabutyra roared his rage to the heavens.