"When Dr. Vice Grip saw his hospital had been burned by the Solar Empire troops, it sent him into a rage," Chyz explained. "But he didn't attack us immediately. Celestia and Luna were on Terra, dealing with the war with the Terrans. So he did something ingenious."
"That's not our Vice Grip, then," Dan said. "Ours is a dumbass that pretends to be a genius."
"That's not really important, Dan," Phoenix said.
Dan disagreed. "Oh, I disagree, Nicky. I think it's pretty important."
"I'm with Nick on this one, Dan," Cap said.
"See?"
"Fine, fine," Dan conceded. "I just want it on the record that Vice Grip is a dumbass."
"Duly noted," Chryz eye-rolled. "So OUR Vice Grip-"
"The smart one, probably a nice guy."
"Shut up, Dan!"
"-couldn't get to the Empresses. So he did the next best thing and hit us where it hurt the most. Our war supplies," Chryz said. Thunder crackled outside, punctuating her statement. "The Saddle Arabian barons in Oil City are the Solar Empire's closest allies. Or they were, until Vice razed Oil City to the ground."
(Something similar happened to Oasis City just after the Christmas episode. Maybe they happened at the same time.) "Continue."
"Without our supplies, the Empresses couldn't finish conquering the Terran Empire. They had to return to Equestria, which is exactly what the doctor wanted. But they knew they were heading into a trap, so they tried to buy Vice off by telling him some of his friends from his hospital were still alive," Chryz explained. She shrugged adding, "They weren't, but he had no way of knowing that. He called their bluff and attacked them anyway. The battle destroyed Canterlot."
"And I'm guessing that's when the princess-err, Empresses, disappeared, right?"
"Very perceptive, Nicholas. Yes and... after that, the Resistance became emboldened," Chryz said. "That's when I became Empress Celestia. To maintain order and discipline, Twilight and I created the ruse that Celestia was leading the Solar Empire still and that it was only Luna who was defeated. If they the truth they would-"
"Dan, stop."
"Whaaat?" His foot was halfway out the door. "I wasn't going to tell anybody."
"Dan, don't lie."
"Technically, I wasn't lying," he said, stepping back inside. "I was going to tell everybody."
Chryz closed and locked the door with her magic. "That would be bad for all of us, I assure you. The Solar Empire is the only order this planet has ever known. To try to destabilize that would be very destructive indeed."
"I always thought a little revolution, now and then was a good thing," Cap commented. He thought about quoting Thomas Jefferson, but decided against it.
"Here it's a very bad thing," Chryz said, her tone still serious.
"How bad?"
"Without the Solar Empire, the entire planet would collapse. Every species, every creature for itself," Chryz said. "It would be like the destruction of our universe itself. Very little would survive such a fallout."
(Fallout... Equestria? Again?) "A single revolution would destroy your whole world?" Phoenix asked. Chryz nodded solemnly. "A single idea... or an individual," he said, looking over at Dan, who was scratching himself on the corner of the doorway at the time. (Was Dan the catalyst of our own Equestria?) "How did Dr. Vice Grip defeat the Empresses?"
Chryz looked directly at the lawyer. She said nothing for a moment, as if weighing the options in her head. Finally, she took a breath and said, "We sent our Dan on a mission to retrieve a weapon, a weapon from your universe. We had no idea he was meaning to betray us all along, but when we suspected they joined the Resistance, we destroyed Vice's hospital. We thought that would be the end of it, but Vice Grip returned. With the weapon."
"What weapon?" Phoenix asked.
She shook her head. "It's a machine of some kind, very big and very powerful."
"Oh! Ohhhhh!" Dan hopped. "I know what it is!"
"They called it a Magic Gear," Chryz said. "Our own weapons are-"
"Wait wait wait wait wait wait," Dan held up both hands, still bound. "How many?"
She raised an eyebrow. "How many what?"
"How many Magic Gears? Because the current record's like two or three at a time," Dan said.
She shook her head. "There's- there's only one two our knowledge. How many-"
"Hold up," Dan stopped her, "Let me get this straight. You guys got your plots handed to you by one Magic Gear? Just one?"
"I..." she squinted, trying to understand what he was saying even though she already did. "I don't see how that's relev-"
"Pffffffffffff! You were beaten by just ONE Magic Gear? Ha... hahahahaha!" Dan pointed and laughed at her, which was somewhat a feat since his hands were locked at the wrists. Still, he managed. "HAHAHAHAHA."
"It's NOT funny!" Chryz retorted, "That machine destroyed our cities, devastated our Empire and-"
"HAAAAHAHAHAHA!" Dan laughed louder, as could be expected. "Are you kidding me? Even Nicky's managed to bust one of those things up."
Phoenix's arm instinctively went to the back of his neck as he failed to suppress his usual bashful grin. "Well, to be honest, I did have a bit of help and all I did was hit a button." (It still counts, though.) Phoenix's Psyche-Gauge increased with his confidence.
"Seriously, what kind of evil Empire are you guys? I beat the first Magic Gear by YELLING at it!"
Chryz averted her eyes. "We have heard they are vulnerable to sound..."
"And apparently you fascist failures are vulnerable to tinker toys! Your Empress got her butt kicked by a toy for little girls! Hahahahaha!"
"Heh..haha," Phoenix couldn't help but chuckle.
"It's a weapon of mass destruction!" Chryz yelled. "It's not a toy for little girls!"
"Apparently, little girl's toys are more complicated," Cap said. Both Phoenix and Dan burst out laughing. Even Khan cracked a smile.
"HAHAHAHA! Good one, Stevie!"
"ENOUGH! Your playing around is-"
"Too difficult for your universe?" Phoenix grinned. "I'm sorry if the Magic Gear was too complicated. Maybe next time, you can get a toddler's toy from our universe."
"Nick, I think they might need supervision from our universe either way," Cap added, smirking. Dan fell over laughing. Chryz's face turned bright red.
"Stop it! Stop making fun of the Solar Empire!" She levitated Cap, Khan and Phoenix into the air.
Leaving Dan to continue making fun of the Solar Empire. He opened the door to the outside to point and laugh at the guard troopers. "Ha! HAHAHAHAHA! You guys suck! HAAAHAHAHA!"
"Get- get back in here! Where are you even going?!"
"I was gonna get some food. Don't worry- I won't order off the kid's menu in case the toy is a threat to your regime!"
Chryz was in disbelief. She shook her head. "Are we even still talking about the same thing?"
"That depends," Cap said. "Are you still afraid of a toy for little girls?"
"IT'S NOT. A TOY."
Cap grinned. "Okay, fine, it's an action figure." They all broke out laughing. Even Khan, no longer able to maintain his composure.
The door still open, the two guards peeked in. And they saw Chryzaliz instead of their Empress. "My... lord?"
"Uggh." Evil Chrys rolled her eyes and teleported both of them. "All this crap I don't need."
"Yes, fascist horses have special needs," Dan said. More laughter. But Chryz was done joking. Her magic seized him and dragged him by his shoes back inside, the door slammed shut. This Chryz was clearly less-restrained when it came to using spells, most likely to compensate for Mirror Twilight's lack of magical prowess.
"That's. Enough," she said. "If you're so confident in your ability to break this "toy" than we have use for you. It's why you were brought here." She sat them down in front of her. "And more to the point, you developed a weapon potent enough to destroy the Magic Gear with ease. The Bass Cannon. We want it."
"Viny's Bass Cannon? Oh yeah. That thing shorted out the Mini Gears."
"Mini Gears?" Chryz asked.
"Eeyep. Same Magic Gear but fun-sized. Great for snugglin'," Dan explained.
"And the weapon was effective against-"
"It could still kick your Empire's ass."
Chryz pinched her eyes. "The point is, we need your Bass Cannon and our sea ponies back."
"Back?" Phoenix asked. "Oh... the sea ponies. You mean the ones attacking us?"
Chryz nodded, smiling slyly. "Yes, those same sea ponies you're fleeing from. They're ours," she approached Dan. "No jokes this time? Why, I could make fun of you for getting your butts kicked by a bunch of goldfish. Ahahaha!"
"Yeah, except-"
"I'll be sure to order a pizza without any sardines. Because you were beaten by fish! Hahahaha!" She had a snob laugh. Also-
"There's one thing, though," Dan said.
"What's that, fish-bait?"
Dan smiled even more slyly. "We beat the sea ponies. Made fishsticks out of 'em."
"Oh," her smile faded. "So... you weren't pushed out of your version of Ponyville?"
"Nope. We're on vacation," Phoenix said.
"Ha. You still suck," Dan added.
"Look. We're stuck on this island. Vinyl Scratch's Sonic Shield is the only thing preventing them from finding us. That, and the bad weather."
(Our Vinyl Scratch created the Bass Cannon. Obviously, their Vinyl made a shield instead. For all their faults, they seem to be a similarly formidable group. They have their own problems and they've banded together, using their own unique talents to solve them just like we do. They've even come up with their own plans despite their lack of Dan.) "If they're YOUR sea ponies, how did they get to OUR Equestria?"
"Hmmph. Someone summoned them to your world. That's why we came out here- to find them. We need reinforcements after losing Canterlot," Chryz said. "But it's obvious they aren't here, despite what she said. Figures."
"What who said?" Phoenix asked. "You mean..."
"It stands to reason both our groups are out here for similar reasons. It also stands to reason we're here because of similar individuals. So the same pony that told us we could find the sea ponies out here in our world would probably be the same pony that summoned them to yours, their counterpart," Chryz said. "So it has to be-"
*BLANG* Discord knocked her out with one of the phaser-lances. "Yes! I got her!"
"Discord!" The four humans yelled at him.
"Your timing couldn't have been more poor, Discord," Khan said. "We were about to find out the identity of the culprit who was responsible for our current circumstances."
"Oh. Whoopsie~," he giggled. "At any rate, let me get you out of those binders."
"Seriously, Discord, you couldn't have waited like, two more seconds?" Phoenix asked.
"I'm sorry. Goodness, so gruff. I thought I was helping, getting that impostor to shut up," he said, folding his arms.
Dan stomped around to the other side of her desk. "Disco is right. And we've really reached our quota for fascist horses and their fascist horse world problems, fascist bug horse not-my-girlfriend included. We're here for another reason."
"And that is?" Cap asked.
Dan held up a set of keys. "To get our friends back. Nicky, explain the priorities list."
"Number-one, get our friends back."
"Good."
"Number-two," Phoenix continued, "Get Vice Grip."
"Excellent, and?"
"Number-three, destroy all who get in our way."
"Exactly," Dan said. "Fascist horse problems are not on that list."
"I understand," Cap said. "But what are we going to do about this universe?"
"Uh, leave. Screw this place. I thought that was self-explanatory," Dan said. He picked up the unconscious form of Queen Chryzaliz and propped her against the door. "We're gonna get Pinkie and AJ and then we're getting out of here. We'll get the Blasties to blow up the Sand Castle so we won't ever have to worry about this creepy fascist universe ever again."
An alarm sounded. "Okay, and now we have to do it on the double," Dan said. He walked back around to the desk. "Maybe there's something in here that can-AAAAHH!" Mirror Opal leaped out of a drawer and latched onto his face. "AAHH GET IT OFF! GET OFF ME!!"
"MRRRAWW! MRRRROOOW!" The black cat clawed into Dan's scalp the way only cats can.
"Onyx, down," Mirror Rarity said. They turned to see her standing in the doorway with Mirror Applejack and a gun trained on them. "Like, so hope you boys didn't think it was going to be that easy."