The throne room of Canterlot was a quaint room in both senses of the word: it was unusual, and it was old-fashioned. It was unusual for its cathedral-like dedication to fountains that trickled on both sides of the path that connected the Princesses’ thrones from the doors. It was old-fashioned in the sense that it was the better part of two millenia old, though almost none of the original stonework had survived the variety of battles and failed usurpations that took place in the room on what seemed almost a weekly basis.
Sitting on her throne, Princess Celestia of Equestria watched as her old student paced up to her throne, holding a purple-bound tome in her magic, and abruptly slammed it onto the velvet carpet between them. “Okay, what’s the big joke?”
“Joke, Sunset?” Celestia asked, raising one brow.
Sunset Shimmer nodded. “A Beginner’s Guide to Heroism? Really? Princess, I know I haven’t been the best student, but did you really have to hire somepony to make a joke book like this? Then you passive-aggressively mail it to me in the human world?”
Celestia frowned. “I’m sorry if I’ve offended you. Why do you believe this is a prank?”
“You expect me to honestly believe there was another wizard of Star Swirl’s caliber? And in all my studies, we never once talked about him? And then you expect me to believe that another one of your students married Queen Platinum and Commander Hurricane’s daughter?”
“Well… yes. You haven’t heard of Wintershimmer because Star Swirl, Luna, and I agreed that his research wasn’t suitable for the public. I keep the only remaining copies of his work sealed in my private library.”
“And the anachronisms?” Sunset pressed. “This ‘Morty’ couldn’t have actually written this book, even if he is real. It’s even on the very first page!” Her magic flipped open the book, holding it aloft. “He talks about ‘Exhibit B’, as though the Equestrian legal system would be anywhere near that sort of terminology! But referring to evidence as exhibits wouldn’t have come up for another five hundred years after his death—and that’s assuming he lived to be one hundred! And he makes jokes in Prench, even though that language wouldn’t split off from Equiish for another hundred years after that! And then there’s the most flagrant one of all!” Sunset’s magic flipped through the book at blinding speed, peeling nearly to the very end, where she thrust the open pages toward Celestia. “Daring Do and the Very Handsome Necromancer?! A.K. Yearling is only, what forty? So this book obviously can’t be that old!”
Celestia lowered her head, where it swiveled from side to side. “I see your confusions. And yes, those are all very valid points, Sunset.”
“So why did you send me this… this novel?”
Before Celestia could reply, the doors to the throne room creaked open. A single mare walked through before the guards closed it again; her magenta mohawk and broken off horn attracted Sunset’s attention first, though soon after her formidable steel armor demanded its own helping of attention.
“Celestia,” the obvious soldier greeted rather sternly. “You wanted me for something?”
“Ah, good. Tempest, this is my former student, Sunset Shimmer. Sunset, this is Tempest Shadow.”
Sunset frowned at the other unicorn. “Twilight mentioned you.”
“Great,” Tempest muttered. “Another perfect first impression and I’ve barely said anything. Why am I here?”
Celestia gestured down to the book in Sunset’s grip. “Did you read what I sent?”
“If this is a book club, I’m going to blow something up,” Tempest replied, before reaching into her armor and pulling out matching book with her teeth. It dropped onto the floor a moment later with a dull thud. “I read the book. He seems like an asshole.”
“Good.” Celestia nodded. “Then we’re all on the same page. I called you both here because you both owe Equestria a debt, and I need a favor.”
“A debt?” Tempest glanced at Sunset out of the corners of her eyes. “What’d you do?”
“I just stole a crown,” Sunset answered. “And a few bits.”
“Ten thousand,” Celestia observed dryly. “I also know that some more Equestrian gold would be very helpful to you in the human world, Sunset. So in addition to forgiving what you’ve done, I’ll also pay you for this. Twenty thousand bits, each.”
Tempest’s eyes widened, and then very quickly narrowed. “Big money and amnesty. And instead of your own little ponies, you call two outsiders with criminal pasts. This is going to get us killed, isn’t it?”
“Of course not!” Sunset protested. “Don’t talk to Princess Celestia that way.”
“Calm, Sunset,” Celestia chided gently. “Tempest is right, in a way. What I’m asking might involve some danger, though I honestly do not know how much. Tempest, I called you both for a different reason. Sunset is Equestria’s foremost expert on magical portals, which I think will be helpful later. And in addition to skill in combat, you have something special to gain from this.”
In response to Tempest’s raised eyebrow, Celestia lowered her head, gesturing to the broken stub of her horn.
“My… my horn?”
“Mares, let me cut to the chase.” Celestia lifted Tempest’s copy of Coil’s text, offering it to her. “I want you to find Morty.”
“What?” Sunset asked. “Hold on, we still haven’t gotten past the point that he is obviously made up—”
“Sunset, I lived through this,” Celestia noted. That blunt, simple statement seemed to finally settle the question for Sunset, or at least she stopped pressing.
“Okay, so… Like, his tomb or something?” Sunset asked.
“Or is he undead?” Tempest followed up.
“I do not know,” Celestia answered. “When last I saw him, two hundred years ago, he was just as alive as I am. You see, a very long time ago, Morty managed to stop himself from aging.”
“What?” Sunset frowned. “So this book…”
“It was originally intended for the young stallion who would later become King Sombra of the Crystal Empire,” Celestia explained. “Hence the rather specific note in the ending about the Equestrian throne. He was hoping it would convince Sombra to use his considerable magic for good. That was only a few decades before my sister became Nightmare Moon.” The alicorn glanced pointedly toward Sunset. “Well after the invention of Prench and legal terms like ‘exhibit’.”
“No way…” Sunset whispered.
Tempest almost lunged at the alicorn. “You’re saying he can fix my horn?”
“I cannot make any promises.” Celestia sighed. “But he did fix his own. I know that he must still be out there somewhere, however, because of what you aptly pointed out, Sunset. Archmage Hourglass’ accidental prophecy about Daring Do.”
“Where are we supposed to start, if you don’t have any clue?” Tempest asked. “Do you have a lead at all?”
“Very little,” Celestia answered. “But if Hourglass was telling the truth, Morty will have to come back soon if he wants to ghost write one of those novels. So I am confident you will succeed.” Celestia’s horn lit, lifting a scroll from beside her throne. “He’s searching for this.” Depicted on the page, sketched with an eye for detail, was an amulet—perhaps a locket—in roughly the shape of a shield. Carved into the otherwise smooth face was a small symbol: a rapier thrust downward through the center of a jeweled tiara.
Sunset grabbed her copy of Beginner’s Guide, flipping through the first few chapters, occasionally letting her gaze jump between the book and the scroll. “That’s Gale’s cutie mark, isn’t it?” she asked.
Celestia nodded, rolling up the scroll and passing it to her former student. “The last thing I know is that there is one place Morty would frequent; I lost its location to the sands of southern Equestria, but recently, that lead has become available to me again.” Celestia gestured with a wing to a corner of the throne room and to Sunset’s surprise, a pegasus approached who she had not seen before. The tan mare wore a beautiful white headdress and gown of light linens.
“Greetings,” said the mare. “I am Somnambula.”
“Hi,” Tempest replied, tipping her head.
Sunset was absorbed in flipping open Beginner’s Guide yet again. “Wait… you aren’t… this Somnambula, are you?”
“She is,” Celestia noted, hiding a slight amusement with the crest of a wing. “I would have thought you knew, Sunset. Twilight and her friends recently retrieved the six Pillars from Limbo.”
“I know it has been a long time, but from my perspective, it has only been three months since I last saw Mortal Coil. I am most excited to hear if his romance with the Princess was successful.”
“You… but…” Sunset blubbered. “Gah! And I thought magic leaking into the human world was insane!”
“Human?” Tempest asked.
“You don’t wanna know,” Sunset offered, putting a hoof on Tempest’s shoulder.
Celestia smiled. “Then there’s only one more member of your little team to introduce.” Beckoning with a wing, the alicorn turned to the far side of the room.
The pony who entered obviously thought he was an impressive force, which stood at stark odds with his diminutive height. Broad, sculpted forelegs gave the impression the stallion was compensating, and a black jacket and mane on a blood red coat immediately brought to Sunset’s mind two words from the book she had just finished.
Evil cult.
Still, he wore a gilded guardspony cuirass underneath the jacket.
“Mares, this is Lieutenant Red Ink, from my Honor Guard. I know what I’m asking is dangerous, so even with your experience, I wanted to offer you at least one more career soldier.”
“Career soldier?” Somnambula asked.
“She means me,” Tempest noted dryly, turning her attention on Red Ink. “If you’re such a hotshot guard, where were you when I took over Canterlot?”
In a thick Stalliongradi accent, the small stallion delivered the answer “Elementary school” like it was a one-liner from a Con Mane film.
Celestia waved her hoof. “Now, everypony, your first stop should be Ponyville; Twilight has been doing no small amount of research on the early Equestrian time period, and she may have knowledge of some lead I’ve overlooked. One word of caution: you are absolutely not to speak of Archmage Hourglass except amongst yourselves. I will provide you with an airship and a few supplies to help your search. Do I have your support?”