//------------------------------// // 19: The Heart's Turnabout, Part 3 - Party Punches // Story: The Lawyer and The Unicorn (T-Rated Version) // by Firesight //------------------------------// Music: Hollow Muteness Twilight wasn’t certain what was happening to her. But that didn’t stop her from feeling she deserved it. It felt like there were icy tendrils inside her, making her feel cold where she had never felt cold before—an icy caress that neither respected her power of fire or any other magic she knew. She was only half-aware of events around her, dimly cognizant of a courtroom and the back and forth of Mia Fey and Nightmare Moon. She knew she was on trial for hurting and raping Phoenix; she recognized that fact only too well, his angry words and accusations still echoing in her heart. Worse, she had killed him with her own runaway passion and then he had returned a spirit of vengeance… Something was wrong with that, but she couldn’t quite seem to grasp what. Sometimes she swore she heard a second voice of Phoenix calling to her in frantic despair, but it was always muffled and fleeting, and quickly subsumed by the angry words and accusations of the first Phoenix, reciting her litany of sins and abuses. I hurt a stallion… I hurt MY stallion… the thought echoed in her mind over and over, the icy tendrils sinking into her even deeper as she felt the certainty of it grip her. And behind them she could sense a powerful presence, cold and cloying yet offering her warmth and comfort, promising her an end to her torment if she would but let it in. Promises of absolution, promises of having the love and friendships she was certain she’d forever lost. Despite the temptation, she resisted, some part of her insisting she was in danger and the voice’s words were a lie, but the more she heard the deeper her despair became. The possibility she may have raped Phoenix in his sleep. The increasing certainty she had been using him, magically influencing him all this time. Or worse, that everything they knew and felt had been a lie, if not due to her influence then to that of not-always-well-meaning others… And therefore… can ANYTHING we have be real…? Nightmare Moon’s words echoed in her head once more, bringing tears to her eyes anew. It can be, Twilight Sparkle… her voice came again. If you simply accept your guilt and punishment. If you simply surrender yourself to me, and allow me to make everything right… she cooed softly, letting her quarry feel the barest hint of warmth. With my help, you will know friendship and the love of Phoenix Wright. He will never wish to leave you again… she promised. Join me, and we will spread that love and friendship throughout your world and if you wish… the human one as well…? I… I… The voice seductive and the temptation growing, Twilight felt herself drifting closer to the embrace of the voice’s owner, only to hear a sharp objection. Her fall into darkness was arrested as she again saw a winged human with a warm and inviting light surrounding her, reaching for her. Do not give in, Twilight… the newcomer told her, offering her a hand. Phoenix is here. I am here. We will not leave you… Mia Fey’s voice promised. We will show you the truth, and then you will find your inner strength once more… She is MINE, spirit! The voice fought back, its owner wrapping her tendrils more tightly around the violet unicorn, trying to keep the human woman’s voice from her quarry’s ears. And angel or no, you cannot take her from me! That’s true. I can’t without hurting her… Mia Fey’s voice acknowledged, the pair somehow arguing in her own head, confusing Twilight further. But Twilight herself is another matter. I promise that before this trial is done, she will reject your lies and expel you herself! We shall see, Mia Fey, the voice replied, an edge of anger in it. And I promise that before this trial is done, we shall know both whose will is stronger and whose wits are sharper… “G… Grandpa?” Trixie asked, her voice shaky as she beheld the spirit of long-dead grandfather for a second time, arriving in the wake of a pillar of light apparently triggered by the winged human woman at the defense bench. Trixie’s trembling query got Shadowmoon’s attention. “Lula!” he looked up and recognized in equal surprise, glancing around to recognize the presence of many other souls, both living and not. “Wait… this is a living dream? Why have I been brought here?” he asked in confusion. The demon in alicorn form looked truly angry for the first time in the trial. “And you accuse me of manipulating the judge, Mia Fey? How is bringing in her grandfather any different?!” “Shadowmoon The Illustrious is an important witness to the dreamtime meeting between Phoenix Wright and Twilight Sparkle,” Mia countered. “His presence here is merely for supporting Princess Luna’s claim. The fact that he’s related to our judge is not relevant at this juncture,” she closed her eyes and grinned in direct imitation and mockery of the Nightmare. “But…” Luna was no less shocked than Trixie at the number of departed but powerful spirits now around her, finding herself no longer master of her own domain. It wasn’t just Shadowmoon either, the virtual spectator stands behind them were starting to fill in with other spirits, ponies, griffins and some other races Phoenix wasn’t familiar with along with a few humans thrown in, though the latter were wearing Roman togas and other old garb. For just a moment, the Nightmare’s expression betrayed a moment of alarm as she beheld them, making Mia grin. “Recognize them, demon? You should. You killed or possessed most of them over the past several millennia. Others you drove insane or to outright suicide,” Mia recited as if she was preparing to pass sentence on the other entity. “Ironic, isn’t it? By trying to trap a new host, you’ve now trapped yourself. For this is now your trial as much as Twilight’s!” Recovering quickly, the Nightmare sneered even as Red Phoenix drew closer to her for protection, looking genuinely nervous at the lethal looks he was getting. “Do I look worried, Mia Fey? As long as I have my hostage, by your own admission, you cannot touch me. And I fully intend to escape this realm with Twilight Sparkle as my new host. Regardless of what you—or they—may think.” She showed her teeth in an unpleasant grin. “This fight is far from over, but rest assured I will yet win.” “We shall see,” Mia said evenly. “Now then, Your Honor… I have, shall we say… subpoenaed your grandfather, as he was a witness to the dreamtime events of that night. I request his testimony to corroborate Luna’s story and clarify the question of rape.” The Nightmare opened her mouth to retort, but was cut off by Shadowmoon. “I see… so that’s what’s going on.” He glanced around, before stepping up to the witness stand. “Princess Luna, may I please testify in your place?” he bowed low before her. “With my granddaughter’s permission, of course…?” he added as an afterthought, glancing back towards the bench with a wry grin. “By all means…” Trixie was still agape. “If you can shed light on this incident, then this court requests your testimony… grandfather,” she said shakily with the nervous air of a pony who was suddenly finding herself far out of her depth. “We could hardly say no to thee…” the still-stunned moon princess agreed, stepping back into the gallery. “Fine,” The Nightmare grated. “But be warned you may not like all you hear, Phoenix Wright…” her grin turned knowing again, letting that hang in the air for a moment before turning her attention back to Trixie’s grandfather. “State your name and former occupation, spirit,” she instructed in no little annoyance. He glared, but answered. “Shadowmoon the Illustrious. In life, a stage magician in the Court of Canterlot,” he said in equal disdain. “In death, still a father and grandfather who wishes to help his heirs.” The Nightmare smirked. “Then tell me, what part of ‘helping your heirs’ involved peeping on a dreamtime tryst? Were you interested in that which you can no longer experience? Or does death merely make all spirits voyeurs?” she snickered. The sounds of derision from the growing audience were legion, but Shadowmoon merely smiled. “Allow me to testify, and all shall be revealed, my not-so-dear demon…” —— Witness Testimony —— A Shadow on the Moon I personally witnessed the dreamtime rendezvous, journeying there from where I reside in the Summerlands. Phoenix Wright and Twilight Sparkle met and mated in the realm of dreams, as arranged by Princess Luna. She wiped their memories afterwards at their mutual request. There was no rape or any undue influence used. I can confirm that what happened was mutual, and I daresay, beautiful to behold. As to why I watched them, I was worried for the fate of my granddaughter and wished to ensure that her lawyers were genuine in their desire to help her, particularly in light of recent events between them. So I observed them and their dreams, as ascended spirits may do. By the time he had finished, Phoenix’s cheeks had flushed again. Is our sex life an open BOOK? He suddenly wanted to scream, though Mia looked unperturbed, as did the rest of the spirits. His reaction was not lost on her, though. “I know this is embarrassing, Phoenix. Do you want me to handle this cross-examination…?” she asked him, putting a hand on his arm. He sighed and shook his head. He wanted to be the one to save Twilight, but.. “It hits too close to home and I don’t even know what to do with this. This one’s all yours, chief.” “Understood.” Mia nodded as Phoenix stepped fractionally back, the living lawyer resisting the urge to will a chair into existence so he could sit down heavily. “Very well, then. Begin your cross-examination, Counselor,” Trixie instructed, still looking very uncertain, suddenly wondering what her grandfather or the other spirits saw when they eavesdropped on her! “Thank you, Your Honor,” Mia acknowledged before turning her attention to her fellow spirit. —— Cross-Examination —— I personally witnessed the dreamtime rendezvous from where I reside in the Summerlands. “For the sake of the living present, please explain how this is possible,” Mia instructed as if she already knew the answer. Shadowmoon grinned. “As I’m sure is true for the human heaven as well, departed spirits have the ability to gaze upon the living when they wish, observing them both in the physical realm and in their dreams. We even have some ability to influence the latter if we so choose. And as a consequence…” I can confirm Phoenix Wright and Twilight Sparkle met and mated in the realm of dreams, as arranged by Princess Luna. “Exactly how did the princess ‘arrange’ this?” Mia next asked. Shadowmoon grinned. “She brought them together in the same dream, giving them a very nice dreamscape under a starry night. She introduced herself to them, and explained why she had brought them there—‘We wish to help you relieve your tension and realize your hidden desires, lest it affect your performance in court tomorrow’, were her exact words,” he recited in Luna’s intonations, causing the Moon Princess to blush. “I think it more accurate to say she wished to help herself,” The Nightmare snickered. “Tell me, witness… just what was my former host doing while they were ‘realizing their hidden desires?’ Mia spoke up quickly. “That question is irrelevant to the issue at hand, Your Honor,” she insisted as Luna visibly cringed and for the first time, Shadowmoon looked uncomfortable answering. “We are trying to answer the question of whether Twilight raped Phoenix that night! And all that matters is that we now have corroboration that she did not!” “I’m afraid I must disagree with the defense. What we are trying to determine at this juncture is whether the two in fact rutted of their own free will. And as well as I know my former host, I can safely say she is not above tilting events towards certain outcomes, with or without my influence.” She pinned Luna with an evil grin. “She has already admitted as much in her testimony. So, did you really want to see them do it that badly, Lulu?” she teased, and this time Luna had no reply. Their reactions were not lost on Trixie. “As much as I’m sure I don’t want to hear the answer to this… the prosecution is right. The question of magical influence remains an open one, whether the source was Sparkle or somepony else. So… the witness will answer and append it to his testimony,” she rapped her gavel weakly, giving her grandfather an apologetic look. To her surprise, he grinned at her. “So you’re finally learning to put aside your personal feelings. I’m very glad to see that, Lula.” He bowed his head. “I will of course obey the judge’s instructions…” he promised, then added several new lines of testimony. Princess Luna withdrew from sight, but was still watching the pair. And after a time, she began to… enjoy herself as she witnessed their lovemaking. Having said that, I hasten to add she did not directly attempt to magically influence the pair. When he finished, Luna was blushing hard, while many of the new audience members were wearing amused smirks. “If thou seeketh to humiliate us, foul demon, we can do the same to thee. Shall we recite some of thine own proclivities?” “Feel free. I’m shameless, Lulu,” The Nightmare grinned. “And don’t try to tell me that as repressed as you were when I first found you, you didn’t learn to enjoy them too…” “Once again, Your Honor, these personal attacks have nothing to do with the question at hoof!” Mia pointed across at the Nightmare. “It has everything to do with it, if she in fact decided to indulge herself and influence the pair in order to make them carry out acts she wished!” the demon in alicorn form accused outright. “We did NOTHING of the sort!” Luna’s voice boomed. “She did not,” Shadowmoon confirmed again. “For you see…” There was no rape or any undue influence used. What happened was mutual, and I daresay, beautiful to behold. The Nightmare broke in immediately. “Tell me witness. Did my former host’s aura turn pink at any point?” He frowned. “It did.” She grinned. “And when did the two of them start mating? Before or after her aura changed color?” It was, both Phoenix and Mia realized, a good question. If Shadowmoon answered the latter, The Nightmare could claim that Luna did, in fact, magically manipulate the two into mating. But to the relief of both, Shadowmoon simply smiled. “Before. Though I wasn’t watching them directly, I could feel the power of their passion through the dreamscape and clear into the Summerlands even after I returned. I believe Princess Luna found the display… quite pleasing.” “When you say you weren’t watching them directly…” Mia trailed off, leaving it an open question. “I mean I was observing them directly until the point where they began rutting in earnest. At that point, I shifted my direct focus elsewhere, letting them have at least some semblance of privacy.” He gave a sardonic look to Luna, who blushed all the more. “And I assure you, had I thought Princess Luna was even remotely influencing the two of them, I would have stepped in directly.” That drew a blink from the living beings in the room. “How do you mean?” Trixie asked. He smiled again. “Princess Luna, for all her power, is not the sole master of the realm of mind and dreams. Ascended spirits such as myself and our defense counsel have some ability to influence the latter.” “Then how do we not know you didn’t try to influence this one?” The Nightmare challenged. Shadowmoon glared at her. “Because unlike you, I don’t seek to manipulate others through their dreams to my own evil ends,” he all but sneered. “You have some nerve accusing me of such a thing when corrupting through dreams is your stock in trade!” “Oh really? Then why were you even there?” she challenged, grinning like she’d just been flattered. As to why I watched them, I was worried for the fate of my granddaughter and wished to ensure that her lawyers were genuine in their desire to help her, particularly in light of recent events between them. So I observed them and their dreams, as ascended spirits may do. “I see no point in asking about those ‘recent events’ as our judge is perfectly aware of them. So please tell this court instead… were you satisfied their desires to help your granddaughter were genuine?” He nodded sagely. “They were indeed. In fact, they spoke of Lula while I watched. In the end, they decided that if being tense or tired was going to negatively affect her trial, that was ‘a good enough reason to rut’,” he chuckled. “They started soon after.” “You mean… they screwed… for my sake?” Trixie suddenly looked ill. “In part, yes, Lula,” Shadowmoon grinned as well while Phoenix facepalmed as he replayed the described scenario in his head and realized that yes, under the circumstances he would consider such a thing for the sake of a client. Particularly if I was promised no memory of it afterwards… he rubbed his hand behind his head. “Which just goes to show that neither my client nor Phoenix Wright had any ulterior motives or selfish desires,” Mia grinned as well. “As this witness says, they are truly a beautiful couple, blessed by the heavens of both worlds,” she said with a warm smile at Phoenix, flaring her angel wings to encompass him. And at her touch, Phoenix found he believed her, his remaining doubts starting to ebb. Blessed by the heavens… touched by an angel… he repeated to himself, and as he watched, he saw Twilight’s head start to perk up a bit as well. “Request the last defense statement be struck as speculative and unsupported by evidence, Your Honor.” “That I am here in this guise is evidence enough you are wrong, Nightmare.” Mia crossed her arms and flared her wings anew. “Do not presume to speak for the gods themselves, Mia Fey, any more than I can speak for the high demons and lords of darkness. We are free agents, able to influence events to our own ends. In that sense, by trying to interfere in living affairs, you are just as selfish as you claim I am.” Boos and angry noises erupted behind her. Trixie’s gavel came down hard. “Enough! I am having a difficult enough time reconciling all that is happening here without invoking actual deities! The defense statement is struck, as well as the exchange that followed! Please limit your commentary to that which is relevant to the trial and questions at hoof!” she ordered the pair as several sentences disappeared from the parchment they were written on. “Yes, Your Honor.” Mia never lost her grin. “Then as we have reached the end of this testimony, I think it is now quite clear that there was no rape or undue influence used. Thus, the defense moves that the counts of rape and illegal magical influence pertaining to this incident be dropped.” “Not quite,” The Nightmare was grinning again herself, showing her teeth for a moment. “Before you pass judgment on these counts, I have one final question for this witness, Your Honor. One I think will be quite illuminating.” Trixie slumped, her prosecutorial mind having picked out a hole in the defense logic herself; one she hoped she could ignore if it was not brought up. “Proceed.” “Witness. Was my former host watching the whole time?” she addressed Shadowmoon again. The former stage magician frowned. “As I have already stated, yes.” “And her mating aura? Was it visible for the duration of the encounter?” she followed up. “I already said that didn’t appear until after the pair had started!” he repeated, annoyed. “That is not what I asked. I asked, was it visible for the duration of their rutting?” “Yes…” he turned wary, and Mia did as well. “And did it intensify at any point?” she asked next. He hesitated. “When she… got close, yes. But she wasn’t casting any spells against them!” he quickly added. “She didn’t have to,” the Nightmare said easily. “For just imagine what a close-range alicorn mating aura might have done to the pair, whether or not she meant it to. Just imagine my former host’s own subconscious desires backed by her ability to influence dreams. Just think what effect it might have had on them, raising their desire and lust to irresistible levels, making them engage in acts and behavior they would not have otherwise. So given these facts, can you say for certain, witness, that she was not influencing them?” For the first time Shadowmoon looked flustered. “I wasn’t watching them the whole time. So I don’t know.” “That’s right. You don’t,” she grinned, then turned to Luna. “So, my former host. Even if this court accepts the highly questionable assertion that you did not intentionally influence them, is it not possible your mating aura did it for you?” she asked, catching Phoenix short. “I know your appetites well, Lulu. So why don’t you tell this court… what is your favorite saying regarding sex in dreams?” Luna slumped, but answered anyway. “That there is no adultery in our realm.” “In other words, that when it comes to rutting, all is allowable,” The Nightmare paraphrased. “And do you not apply that rule to yourself as well…?” she grinned toothily. “Yeah, you make us screw so you can have a good time?” Red Phoenix shouted angrily. “So what did you make us do, anyway? And how do we know what we did after wasn’t a product of it?” He slammed his hands down on the table just as Phoenix would. The real Phoenix had never more wanted to murder his doppelganger than at that moment. “Though I find this assertion disturbing… this was a freakin’ dream, not reality! Her influence didn’t extend outside of it! So it couldn’t have affected us on an ongoing basis!” He beat Mia to the punch. “If magical influence didn’t extend outside out of it, how did your clothes get removed that night, hm?” The Nightmare asked, catching Phoenix short. “I think the point is made. The prosecution has no further questions of the witness, Your Honor. And all the defense has done is demonstrate once again that their love and lovemaking was not their own.” She said as Twilight slumped anew. Trixie could only hope her next words might perk her back up. “That is hardly proven, Prosecutor Moon. And regardless… the defense motion is granted. The counts of rape and illegal magical influence related to this incident are dropped, because it is now clear to this court that none occurred!” she banged her gavel, causing several lines to disappear from the charges sheet. “The witness is dismissed… with this court’s thanks,” she told her grandfather, smiling wanly at him but heartened when she received an approving nod back. “Then we will move on to the next incident… this one taking place at a party?” she prompted. “Yes, Your Honor,” The Nightmare grinned. “And of this one, there can be no doubt…” Music: Celestial Sentinel A sleepless Celestia wasn’t sure why she felt so uneasy. Night had fallen again, and Vinyl Scratch and Maya had gone to bed near midnight, the latter after some impromptu shielding lessons from the princess and all the room service burgers she could eat. Despite still being a pony, Vinyl herself had tried one and discovered she liked it as well, and then the two had gone off for a conversation to which the princess was not privy, talking things out in the breezes and privacy of the penthouse balcony. Whatever was said between them, in the end the pair had reemerged on decent terms and hugged, but had apparently agreed it was best to spend the night apart. Understandable… Celestia granted, though she couldn’t help but feel a tinge of regret, both for them and for her. Seeing a young mare exploring her sexuality for the first time was always a huge turn-on to the sun princess, doubly so for the slightly involuntary manner in which it happened and the cross-species component. Thus far she had resisted the impulse to cast a spell on the large bedroom mirror that would have shown her what happened in sight of it while she was asleep in the other room, trying to respect the young girl’s privacy… and also fully aware of what witnessing those events would likely do to her. Not what she needs, or me right now… the sun princess shook her head as sat down by the rail and looked into the glittering sea of lights that defined the large human city. It was a rare chance for her to experience and enjoy the Earthside night as an alicorn, wishing again that she could yet convince her sister to visit Earth. You’d think she’d enjoy visiting a place where the night is so alive and celebrated… she reasoned as she gazed at the terran moon which now hung low over the horizon, tinged slightly reddish by all the haze. She knew the color was just a function of smog and an arid, dusty climate, but she still couldn’t help but worry it was an omen. The moon over Earth was smaller, or perhaps just further away than the one that appeared in the skies over Equus, and its more distant appearance only drove home how far away from Equestria she was. Luna… Celestia called out with her thoughts, wondering what her sister was doing right then and if her uneasiness had anything to do with events happening in Equestria. She didn’t think anything was wrong back home—she’d get a deluge of messages punctuated by the appearance of one or more of her agents if there was—but the odd sense of foreboding did not go away. It was a feeling she’d learned to not discount, as her long life had attuned her to the flow of the world around her far more than most. She also wasn’t the only insomniac that night. Through her longstanding connection with Twilight, she sensed her student’s severe agitation and restlessness as she tried to sleep, wondering what had happened and wishing then she had Luna’s ability to dreamwalk. She wasn’t sure why her prized pupil suddenly seemed so troubled given she’d sensed another extremely intense orgasm from her just hours earlier, but decided not to disturb her. If Twilight needs me, she’ll let me know… and it would seem I have enough to deal with on this front with young Maya… she shook her head again, looking back into her room where the young mystic slept in the guest bed, Vinyl on a nearly equally plush couch out in the main living area, her trademark magenta shades folded neatly on the end table to her side. She can’t stay a pony here. I’ll have to either send her home or transform her and get her some clothes tomorrow… the sun princess knew, not wanting to open another inter-dimensional mirror portal if she could at all help it, knowing it would greatly drain her magic and leave her too tired to do much for the rest of the day. And besides, something tells me that even if she’s not comfortable with what happened, Maya still needs Vinyl Scratch’s friendship and company right now… she shook her head. The lessons had gone well enough; the young girl’s training as a mystic had given her much of the requisite focus and meditation techniques she needed, so Celestia had been able to skip those parts of the lessons, able to start immediately into teaching her how to spot and screen out unwanted magical influences. Vinyl had helped with some meditative music, but had otherwise kept her distance except when Maya requested her help or presence, either out of her own experience or a simple desire to obey the instructions of her channeled big sister. It wasn’t just Vinyl with regards to the latter. Mia Fey had all but ordered Celestia to train Maya, and even as powerful as she was, the sun princess was not about to defy the wishes and will of a departed spirit. A particularly beautiful and powerful woman at that… she shifted uncomfortably at the thoughts suddenly going through her head. As much as the sun princess enjoyed being rutted by a strong stallion, being dominated by another, more powerful female was an equally strong fantasy that had great resonance within her, and one that, unlike her more conventional encounters with her human lover, she almost never got to indulge. Or certainly, no more than getting to be with a young mare like Maya again… She blinked and shook her head sharply, mildly disgusted with where her thoughts kept trying to go. This is NOT the time, Tia… she reminded herself sharply again. Maya is my responsibility right now, and it still feels like something’s wrong out there… she stood sentry for the rest of the night, trying to discern a danger she could sense but could not see. The dreamscape courtroom fell silent again as all attention was focused on the otherworldly combatants again. “Very well, Prosecutor Moon.” Trixie stared at The Nightmare warily. “What is this second potential incident of rape you speak of?” “The second incident to be discussed happened at a party just three days before Mister Wright’s departure from Equestria,” the disguised demon of dreams began, her toothy grin making itself known again. “I could explain, but… I think it would be far more edifying if to hear what happened directly from the horse’s mouth.” She turned and nodded to Red Phoenix. “It’ll be my pleasure!” He cinched his orange tie and retook the stand. Music: Cross Examination B ~ Allegro —— Witness Testimony —— Super-Special Party Punch That conniving little filly just wouldn’t take no for an answer! She got me drunk and laid me against my will that night! I know because I woke up with my shirt off and pants unbuckled, with her laying on me! I was drunk on that horrid party-punch of Pinkie’s and couldn’t offer consent! She knew that and took advantage of me anyway! Phoenix fists clenched as his doppelganger finished; he had never hated anyone so badly in his life. “Chief… will heaven hold it against me if I kill him?” he had to ask. She glanced at him. “Your hatred stems from the fact that he is in some ways your reflection, Phoenix. He is the sum total of every negative thought and emotion you’ve ever had towards Twilight or women in general. That said, he is just a dreamworld construct, built from your own fears and misgivings. So if you wish to defeat him, you will have to face those fears,” she said, slightly cryptically. “Be warned, he has your wits as well as your memories. He will not be easy to trap.” That doesn’t really answer my question… he thought as he steeled himself for the questioning to follow. I’ve cross-examined a parakeet and a clown, ponies and griffins. I never thought for all that I’d end up cross-examining… ME! —— Cross-Examination —— That conniving little filly just wouldn’t take no for an answer! She got me drunk and laid me against my will that night! “Let’s cut to the chase here, you two-bit fraud! How do you know for a fact that she did anything with you?” Phoenix asked, pointing a finger at him and half-wishing it was a gun. “Is that tie of yours on too tight, ‘Feenie’?” his red-suited fire-haired double snorted, crossing his arms and glaring at him, then Twilight. “You know as well as I do how we woke up! If nothing happened, how did we get that way, huh?” He slammed his hands down on the witness stand. Phoenix wasn’t going to let it go that easily. “If you have my memories, then you don’t have any knowledge of what happened during the night! So you don’t in fact know whether anything occurred other than being partially undressed! And for all you know, we did that ourselves!” he rubbed his hand behind his head, blushing slightly. “Are you freakin’ serious?” Red Phoenix asked. I know because I woke up with my shirt off and pants unbuckled, with her laying on me! “Like I said, that could have any one of a number of explanations!” Phoenix pointed out again. “So just what makes you so certain that we were, in fact, taken advantage of?” “Don’t tell me you’re in the habit of sleeping partially dressed with a woman in your bed,” sneered his double, crossing his arms and glaring. Phoenix narrowed his eyes. “When I thought I had a girlfriend… I actually did! Remember?” That gave his double some pause, reviewing their memories. “Uh…” He looked askance at Phoenix. “Are you seriously bringing that she-devil up?” “Well, there’s one point we can agree on,” Phoenix said sardonically. Then again, maybe THIS version of me would be the perfect match for her! “My point is, the morning after the party isn’t the first time I’ve woken up with someone in my arms in a state of partial undress! My surprise was due to the fact that I couldn’t remember getting there in the first place!” he snarled. “Well that just proves my point!” Red Phoenix snarled back. I was drunk on that putrid party-punch of Pinkie’s and couldn’t offer consent! She knew that and took advantage of me anyway! “If you’re supposed to be me, you should be smart enough to know that claim is a load of baloney! We both had that ‘putrid party punch’, remember? Me and Twilight! At least half a dozen cups each, in fact, before we were so drunk we couldn’t remember what happened afterward!” Phoenix proclaimed, slamming his own hands down. “So if you’re seriously claiming if I couldn’t offer consent, then tell me, how could she?” he pointed directly at his other self. Red Phoenix stared at him, then smirked, making a show of sticking a finger in his ear, twisting it inside as if we was trying to clear the passage. “I’m sorry. I must have misheard you when you said I was the stupid one. Are you seriously suggesting we raped her?” He dripped scorn on the claim. “Even if we wanted to, how could we in the face of all her power, given she could incinerate us in a heartbeat? Hell, she already did earlier!” Phoenix didn’t know what he was talking about, and wasn’t sure he wanted to. “You’re making the claim that since I couldn’t offer consent, it was rape. Yet if she couldn’t either, then by your own logic, could it not be said that we raped each other?” Phoenix gave him an equal smirk, reflecting he would love to shove that logic down the throats of certain groups back home. “That’s the endpoint of your logic chain! And I would further remind my deluded double that prior to the party, Twilight specifically warned us against having too much punch! Care to tell this court exactly what she said to us on the subject?” The fiery Phoenix’s jaw clenched, but he gave the correct answer. “’Go easy on Pinkie’s Super-Special Party Punch. Too much of that and you may start behaving a little oddly…’” “Exactly!” Phoenix pointed at him again. “So if she intended to take advantage of us, then why did she specifically warn us about the punch? Moreover, why did she partake in it herself, knowing what it could do?” Phoenix pointed out, grimacing at the memory of Edgeworth’s appearance immediately after Twilight’s warning. “In answer to the second, it was Pinkie Pie who cajoled us both into drinking! In addition, I’m going to go out on a limb and state that casting spells of any kind while inebriated is a terrible idea…?” He looked up at Trixie for confirmation. Trixie shuddered. “It is. Spellcasting requires concentration and focus. Even the simplest spell can misfire spectacularly if we’re unable to concentrate fully. I’ve seen unicorns try to levitate something while drunk, and end up waking up in odd predicaments or even the hospital a few hours later due to… varying effects.” She grimaced as if she was speaking from experience. Luna nodded as well. “’Tis true, magic and spirits do not mix well,” she grimaced. “Oh, come on!” Red Phoenix complained. “For the amount of drink she had, she wouldn’t have the cognitive ability to even think about that!” “Oh really! So if she didn’t have the cognitive ability, then how could she knowingly offer consent?” challenged Phoenix, grinning as his double fell right into his verbal trap. The doppelganger sputtered as the Nightmare facehoofed. “I can’t believe you walked into that,” she groaned, then grinned. “Still, there’s one thing our witness’s lesser half has neglected to bring up. The punch in question, as with virtually everything in Equestria, has a magical property to it. Given that, there would be a dramatic difference in how it would affect a pony, and how it affects a human.” She proceeded to conjure a glass with a sample of the punch in question. “If Your Honor wishes to examine it…?” “There is no guarantee that punch is the real deal!” Phoenix immediately asserted. “Care to try it yourself and see, Phoenix Wright? We assure the defense that this is a faithful recreation from Twilight Sparkle’s own memory.” Music: Pinkie Pie ~ Positively Pink “I’ll be the judge of that!” a surprise voice said, a split second before Pinkie Pie popped up beside the Nightmare, who jumped back in surprise along with a good portion of the gallery. Before anyone could react, she swiped the glass from the Nightmare’s magic, and drained the entire thing, smacking her lips a couple of times. “Yep, that’s my recipe alright! Nicely done, Black Snooty!” She promptly stuck the empty glass on the Nightmare’s horn, then headed for the courtroom pit exit, stopping before the Bolt Knight and gryphon warrior guarding it, the former possessing an eye patch. “Hi there, great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandma!” She gave the startled pegasus pony a hug, then bounded out into the gallery, settling into an empty seat between an equally surprised human and gryphon spirit. Everyone stared at her for several seconds, before the Bolt Knight she’d hugged began to chuckle. “Ah, ’tis good to see a pony of my line so full of life!” the one-eyed mare said. “‘Tis certain she has taken my awareness to heights I never could even e’en fathom.” “You seem remarkably unperturbed that her appearance here is, by all rights, impossible,” her male gryphon compatriot noted. “Methinks I simply choose to adopt the stance of her friends regarding her,” replied the mare to her former enemy. “To quote, ‘It’s Pinkie Pie, don’t question it.’” “There’s sage advice for you,” grumbled the Nightmare, removing the glass from her horn and refilling it. “Ahem. As I was saying, before that distraction… Your Honor?” She offered the glass again. “Unless, of course, our newest visitor cares to share its secrets?” “Now where’s the fun in that?” Pinkie lounged back in her chair, putting her hooves behind her head. “Besides, if I told you, it wouldn’t be a secret!” “Just… give it here…” Trixie felt a headache coming on as the Nightmare levitated it towards her The showmare accepted the glass in her aura and brought it closer, studying it carefully, her horn glowing to varying degrees. Finally, she gave a cautious sip of the brightly-colored liquid and licked her lips, considering the myriad parts. “Sarsaparilla… black cherry cider… watermelon juice... what I’m guessing is some burro sangria…” she catalogued, then her brow furrowed. “And… wait… what’s that…?” she probed it with her aura some more, and abruptly, the concoction turned a rainbow of colors for an instant before settling back to its normal clear purple-reddish hue. Trixie looked at Pinkie Pie in shock. “You spike your punch… with zap apple ether…?!” “Aw… you guessed!” Pinkie pouted, but quickly perked back up. “But yep yep! Fully distilled and extra-potent! For extra-super-duper-SPECIAL parties only, but guaranteed to give everypony a good time! Whenever zap apple season comes, AJ always saves some just for me!” “Be that as it may…” The Nightmare rolled her eyes. “Perchance Your Honor would care to explain to this court what an ether is and what effects one made from zap apples would have on the average laypony… to say nothing of layman?” Trixie shuddered, having had a bad reaction to eating a raw zap apple in the past. I ate one because I hoped it would boost my power. And it did, but it also gave me a Neigh Orleans accent for a day and made me start hitting on MARES! “An ether is the magical essence of an item. It’s imbued with that item’s magical properties, which in the case of a zap apple, would basically enhance everything from the punch’s flavor and alcohol effects to the deepest desires of the pony—or person—drinking it! Have enough of this and you’d lose all inhibition and good sense… and wake up with a hangover from Tartarus the next day! So tell me… just how much of this hooch did you and Snarkle have, Wrong?” she stared at him in disbelief. “Uh… I kind of lost count after the first six cups?” He took on his goofy grin. The gallery erupted in laughter as Trixie facehoofed with a loud smack. “That he’s an utter idiot goes without saying. But just how do you intend to prove rape when they were both so soused on this… concoction that neither could think straight, Prosecutor Moon?” “I couldn’t have said it better, Your Honor,” a pleased Mia said, crossing her arms and grinning. About the drink, or me being an utter idiot? Phoenix knew better than to ask. “The point is that they were not both affected to the same degree, Your Honor. The point is that the punch would have hit Mister Wright far harder and faster than the ponies present,” The Nightmare was wearing her knowing grin again. “I do not have to tell you that ponies have some innate magical resistance. Humans, on the other hoof…” This time it was Mia who rolled her eyes. “So you’re seriously claiming that Phoenix was incapacitated but Twilight wasn’t? Even though neither could remember anything the next day?” “So she says,” The Nightmare grinned. “Six drinks may have made her suggestible, but not so drunk she didn’t know she was doing. And it is literally beyond belief that she would not have known what was in the punch, being Miss Pie’s friend and having had it before?” She glanced at Twilight, who cringed. “But… I didn’t… know…” Twilight weakly protested. “She didn’t!” Pinkie piped up again from the gallery. “She never asked and I never told anypony! Except AJ, once! And only ‘cause she wanted to know if she could have some of that punch for her family reunion! Yeah, I kinda had to explain to her why that wasn’t such a good idea…” she rubbed her hoof behind her head for a moment. “But after that, she supplied me the ether herself! Said she liked things that ‘made ponies more honest!’ Though sometimes I seriously think she just likes letting go now and again.” She then grinned. “Also, Twilight’s only had that punch twice before, so she actually has a lower tolerance for it than most ponies in Ponyville!” “Well, given that information, I find it impossible to conclude that either Snarkle or Mister Wrong was capable of rational thought!” Trixie said in some relief. “With her lower tolerance and Mr. Wright’s lack of magic, six cups would ensure they were both completely plastered, and make sure they can’t remember anything afterwards!” She carefully pushed the glass away. “So once again, I ask you, Prosecutor Moon: given these facts, how can you possibly say that there was a rape that night?” The Nightmare was starting to look very annoyed, but this time it was the faux Phoenix who spoke for her. “Do we have to spell it out? Fine. Then riddle me this, Your Honor… if you could so easily identify what was in it, then why couldn’t she?” he asked with a pointed finger at Twilight, making Phoenix fantasize again about all the ways he might murder him. “Do I really have to point out that she’s better at magic than you, and more learned in it?” Trixie’s eyes narrowed. “Not if you value your magical hide, Fauxnix Wright!” the mare magician all but growled, her eyes glowing blue for a moment as a lightning bolt suddenly hit at red-shoed feet, causing him to jump several feet backwards. A chill wind then whipped around him, causing his hair flames to sputter and his figure to shiver, at which point he wisely shut up. “I think my co-counsel’s point, Your Honor, is that given her power and usual thirst for knowledge, there is no excuse for Miss Sparkle not knowing,” The Nightmare clarified, looking unperturbed by the latest turn of events. The showmare considered that. “A valid argument…” she reluctantly conceded. “Either Sparkle never checked it, in which case she was unusually incurious and grossly negligent with regards to how it might affect her human guest… or she did, which means she knew full well what it could do to him…” “I couldn’t have said it better, Your Honor.” It was a grinning Nightmare’s turn to mimic Mia, who glared. Tears were beginning to well in Twilight’s eyes again. “I… never… checked…” she finally admitted. “I meant to, but… never did…” she offered weakly. “Because she had no reason to, Your Honor,” Mia broke in. “Perhaps she was mildly negligent, but hardly out of malicious or selfish intent. And let’s not excuse Phoenix Wright for indulging in a drink he was initially warned not to take, without asking what was in it.” She gave him a pointed look. “I think this court will agree that the fact he failed to makes him in part responsible for the consequences.” “Gee, thanks, chief…” Phoenix muttered, though he knew she was right. “Then again, I didn’t know Twilight could possibly identify what was in it, and I assumed it to be a secret recipe that I wasn’t privy to information on…” he offered half-heartedly. Mia gave him a look. “I seem to recall you also took those painkiller pills from Sonata Tarot without reading the fine print. Pattern of behavior, Phoenix.” There was a brief twinkle in her eye before she turned her attention back to the bench. “Your Honor. As the prosecution continues to assert that my client knowingly forced herself on Phoenix Wright, the defense requests to call a rebuttal witness. One who will shed light on the events of that night, and establish that once again, there was no rape.” The gallery fell silent as all eyes again fell on her, including those of Phoenix himself. “Oh, really. And how, pray tell, are you going to do that, Mia Fey?” The Nightmare sneered, echoing the question that Phoenix wanted to ask. “The events you describe took place in the living realm, not a dream, and given this punch’s contents it is quite doubtful that any ponies or people present that night remember what happened. Unless perhaps, you plan to call the punch’s maker?” she glanced back at Pinkie Pie. “Sorry Moonie, but I wouldn’t be any help!” Pinkie answered easily. “I was managing the party for the first half of the night, and I didn’t have the time to chaperone Twilight and Feenie. And later on, I was hanging out with Maya and Scratchie! Now that was a good time!” she grinned, looking almost wistful. Mia coughed. “Yes, well… we don’t need the details there. As this was a living world event, I wish to subpoena a living soul who witnessed it. However, I do not have the power to bring her here from the living realm. That task will have to be left to our good princess…?” she glanced over at Luna, who’d been uncommonly silent for the last several minutes. Addressed, the moon princess perked up, eager to make up for her earlier embarrassment. “Verily we shall, fair spirit… if thou wouldst tell us what sleeping soul thou wisheth to summon.” “We ask for this court to hear from the one pony who had less punch and in fact does recall the events of that night,” she grinned and gave Phoenix a wink. “To that end, the defense requests the presence and testimony of the fair Lady Rarity…”