Not for the first time since taking up investigations, I found my interests following me to work.
Of course I spent the first few hours of the shift wandering through life half-awake, filing things and retrieving requests from prominent ponies more by rote than anything else. But I had a talent for operating on not much sleep, and eventually I’d recovered enough that I had started putting pieces together in my head.
The Soma Opal was an artifact—of the valuable and rare sort that the Canterlot Archives might very well have stored. Even if it’d never been in the expansive vaults, writings about it might have been.
I couldn’t abandon the pretense of being an ordinary employee—couldn’t stop my flights through the catacombs to retrieve one scroll or replace another. But I kept the question burning there, waiting for an opportunity.
That opportunity came at lunch, when I’d rushed into the employee lounge to catch a meal moments before catering packed everything up. The room was mostly empty—most of the Archives’ ponies liked to start as soon as noon came. But I wasn’t the only one late.
An ancient pegasus had just slipped into line, pushing a tray along the counter with a gray wing.
I slipped into line behind him. “Secret Lore!” I exclaimed. “How are you?”
“Suspicious,” he answered, filling his plate with the last of the harvest salad.
I barely even noticed, but I did slip an extra container of juice onto my tray under the napkin. “Why?”
“Because you’re being friendly before six. That means you want something.”
My ears flattened. “Am I… that obvious?”
“Not just you.” There was no checkout, and I followed him to one of the empty tables. No one was here but catering, giving us both dirty looks. “Of all the bats I know, not one of them is a morning pony. It’s impressive enough to me that you can even get to work on time each morning.”
“It’s interesting working here,” I said, though I couldn’t keep a little smile of satisfaction from my lips. I did take pride in how well I had balanced both of my careers. “Even if all of us can’t work in the secret archives like you. So much history. And the ponies who come to us are the ones who appreciate how important it is.”
“Yes yes.” He waved an annoyed wing, before starting to chow down on the salad. “Might as well ask whatever you’re going to pester me about, Midnight. Consider me sufficiently softened up.” He trailed off. “You look just like my granddaughter, you know. With a face like that you don’t have to bother.”
I stiffened. Had Secret Lore just called me cute? But I couldn’t get distracted. If this case worked out… if a name like Fancypants ended up on my reference sheet, maybe I could go full time. It was good to have friends in high places.
“Well, I heard there was a robbery in the city last week.”
The pegasus grunted. “There are robberies all the time, child. That’s why ponies dig vaults. To protect things from those who shouldn’t have them.”
“Well… yeah…” He wasn’t being very helpful. I lowered my voice to the quietest whisper. While Fancypants hadn’t gotten me to sign to secrecy, his intent had been clear enough. He wanted this kept private. “But it was something really important that got stolen. An artifact that Celestia had loaned out to one of her most trusted ponies. Something called the ‘Soma Opal’? Have you ever heard of it?”
Secret Lore’s head jerked around the room, making sure the ponies cleaning up lunch weren’t close enough to eavesdrop. “Somepony stole it? And Celestia doesn’t know?”
I shrugged. “I don’t think so. I think the one it was stolen from might be looking for it. Can you tell me anything about it?”
The pegasus nodded slowly. A kind of satisfied comprehension crept across his muzzle as he looked me over. “Oh. You’re on another one of your adventures, aren’t you?”
“Am not.” I folded my hooves across my chest. Most of my coworkers didn’t know the first thing about my nocturnal life. But Secret Lore knew things—more than anypony else in the Archives. That meant he was the one I went to when the catalog wasn’t enough.
“Well, I can tell you it has something to do with emotional magic. It’s historically connected to the Sirens. Before Star Swirl banished them from Equestria… well, he found it. And it seemed important to him that it get locked away. It’s quite unusual for him to not have attempted to study something that interesting when it fell into his possession. But Star Swirl barely wrote a line. We’ve suspected he thought it was too dangerous—but apparently not dangerous enough that we didn’t want to be poking around.”
“Oh.” That was surprisingly unhelpful. It was old and powerful—I’d already known both of those things. Emotional magic and the Sirens—those were both leads, but they probably wouldn’t help me find the darn thing.
I knew I couldn’t push much harder. Secret Lore was a helpful pony, but his job mattered to him. He’d never do anything to put the secrets of the Archives in danger.
“I hope whoever is looking for it finds it soon,” he said, voice pointed. “Because if they don’t, somepony will have to warn the city.”
“I’m sure they will.” I rose from the table, food mostly untouched. I didn’t really need anything past the juice anyway. “Thanks for the help, Secret Lore.”
“Anytime,” he called, voice amused. “Don’t get yourself hurt, kid.”
I didn’t intend to.
But I didn’t intend to take this slow, either. Fancypants had been clear about one thing: nopony else was going to be in on this stage of the investigation. There would be nopony to back me up if I failed. It was all or nothing with Canterlot as the prize.
I caught an hour of sleep after work, then made straight for the Fancypants Estate. Whoever had stolen the Opal, they’d had to have visited the mansion. It was time to question the staff.
It took over an hour. The ponies didn’t seem to care for me much—maybe they didn’t think a bat like me had any business rooting around in their family’s affairs. Maybe they didn’t trust me. But after putting the pressure on, I managed to get one of the groundskeepers to admit that there had been an unusual visitor the night of the theft.
“It isn’t the first time we’ve got a visitor from the Mazuma family,” said Full Iron, shifting uneasily in his armor. “That’s how the families go. Important ponies go back and forth. Parties one weekend, quiet brunches the next. I’m sure she didn’t have anything to do with it.”
“Maybe you are,” I muttered, circling him. “But maybe I want to check on everything, just in case. If everything worked the way Fancypants expected, there wouldn’t have been a robbery. Under your muzzle.”
Full Iron stiffened. “We were all doing our jobs,” he grunted. “Don’t you dare try to imply otherwise.”
“Which include the Mazuma lady?”
He nodded slowly. “I… yes,” he finally said. “She was sketching some of the art. She visits all the families with interesting collections. And ours is the best, so she comes here most of all.”
“Sketching the art…” That sounded as shaky to me as moon-grown mangoes. But I didn’t tell Full Iron that. Apparently that was the only thing out of the ordinary that night.
I still had to go over the scene of the crime. Fancypants wasn’t there, but apparently he’d left instructions to let me in. Unfortunately, Full Iron decided it was his personal mission to make sure I didn’t so much as glance at any of the other objects on display in the gallery. Whenever I slowed even a little he would nudge me forward, towards the broken display case.
Finally I stopped, so suddenly that he smacked into me from behind. I turned to glare at him, baring my fangs. “I’m going to need you to back off,” I said.
“Just here to protect the gallery,” he said, voice smug. “That means keeping grimy hooves off the exhibits.”
“Grimy hooves already got on the exhibits.” I pointed at the broken case. “There could be clues anywhere. Clues ponies missed. Fancypants isn’t stupid—he already had this place turned upside-down, right? He obviously didn’t find the Opal, or else you’d still be outside and I wouldn’t be smelling you.”
“Wait…”
But I shoved him back with a hoof. “Go ahead and watch. But watch me from the door. You can take notes if you want. Tell Fancypants about everything I touch. But if you’re not going to let me do my job, I hope you realize that’s exactly what I plan to tell him.”
Full Iron grumbled under his breath, then turned and walked back towards the doorway. “If you break anything, we’ll take it out of your wings.”
Whatever that meant. I turned back to my task, ignoring Full Iron and whatever else he might be muttering. I had a crime to investigate.
All my usual searches turned up nothing. There were no unusual scents on the broken case, nothing that didn’t match the other guards. The room was well lit even at night, so there was nothing other ponies might have missed hiding in the gloom.
The case itself had been cut, nice and clean. The thick glass had been pulled right out, then set back into place over an empty case. The cut had the look of magic all over it—perfect melted glass on the edges, the inner section removed without shattering.
So a skilled unicorn at that, maybe an experienced cat-burglar. But none of the windows had been opened, and the locks were secure on everything else.
Whoever came in here knew exactly what they wanted. And they came out the way they came in. Maybe somepony had disguised themselves as a guard… or more likely, they’d been invited inside. Maybe because they were always visiting to sketch the art.
It was time to pay miss Calico Mazuma a visit.
It wasn’t long past ten by the time I finally found the mansion I was looking for. Not one of the most impressive in Canterlot, located in a section of the upper city without its own round-the-clock guards. I didn’t have ponies accosting me all the way to the door.
But the Mazuma family was still wealthy enough for a butler. I could tell his look the second I opened the door, and the way he glared down his snout at me. “Whoever you are, the mistress doesn’t have the time,” he said, before I could even open my mouth.
“I think you’ll find that she does,” I said, shoving my hoof into the open door before he could shut it all the way.
He smacked it closed, maybe a little painfully. But I didn’t flinch.
“I’ll have the authorities on you,” he said, eyes narrowing. “The mistress doesn’t need the distraction of more suitors… and you’re scruffier than her usual type. Get away before I get less generous.”
“I’m not courting,” I said, glaring at him. “I’m investigating a crime. I’m here to help clear her name.”
The butler stopped struggling. “Is that so? You don’t look like a constable.”
“I’m not. I’m a private investigator. But Calico Mazuma was one of the last ponies at the scene of a recent theft. I’m hoping she might be able to give me some insight before the authorities get involved.”
The butler shifted uncomfortably on his hooves, avoiding my eyes. There was something this pony wasn’t telling me. But if I pressed him now, he very well might just slam the door in my face. I would have to keep an eye on him.
“I’ll speak with her. Wait out here.” He smacked the door shut in my face. So I waited, lounging against one of the carved stone pillars. It was a fairly grand entryway, as impressive as anything on one of the fancier manors. But it was cracked in places, and a layer of grime had formed on the stone.
Mazuma had fallen on hard times, it seemed. There were no landscapers either, judging by the state of the garden. I wonder if you were looking for a quick way out of your family’s financial troubles, Calico. Thought you could pawn off the Opal and get away with it?
“Hey,” said a voice from somewhere above me. Above? I looked up, and saw a unicorn hanging from the awning. Well—her head, anyway. Her mane hung wild all around her, white and shiny like a sheet of wet snow. Her coat made it obvious how her parents had named her, white except for the various blotches of brown and yellow. “You look pretty. I hope you’re here for me.”
“I have no idea,” I said, staring back up at her in a way I hoped didn’t seem startled. I was startled, but it was best if she didn’t know that. “Are you Calico?”
There was a flash, and suddenly there was a pony standing in front of me. Younger than I was, wearing something like an elegant gown. The sort of thing rich ponies might’ve worn a few years ago—it was slimmer and less jewel-encrusted than the latest style that Ponyville tailor had started. “That’s what they call me. But you can just call me Cali.”
“Calico,” I said again, ignoring her. “I hope you wouldn’t mind an interview. You’re implicated in a crime, and I’d like to see if you can point me towards the real culprit.”
The unicorn’s huge mane visibly deflated. Her horn glowed, and she glanced once at the door. “I… I guess so.” She leaned sideways, kicking it open. “Whatever you think I did, I didn’t. I’d have owned up. If I leave an apple in the road, I’ll say so.”
I covered my mouth, but a little explosion of laughter escaped anyway. Had she just said what I thought she said? A noble lady in a translucent white dress was…
“Come on,” she said, shoving past the flustered butler. “Into the parlor. It’s the only room Bitsworth won’t let me show to common guests, which means it’s the room we’re using. Make some tea, Bitsworth. The saffron.”
He rolled his eyes, fixing me with a murderous look. I could practically read the intent behind that stare. If you lied to me…
But I wasn’t the liar here. Well, not that big a liar. I did think that Calico was really behind the theft. I just needed to find the proof. Maybe if I could sneak away I could search this place. There was a chance that she hadn’t sold it yet.
The Mazuma manor was far less impressive than the Fancypants estate. There were plenty of old things, but lots of them had the look of fakes about them. Whole wings of the house looked like they’d been shut tight, and there was a layer of dust everywhere that wasn’t the main hall.
Calico had selected the oldest, dustiest corridor of all for our meeting, and with each step the butler seemed to get a little more annoyed. It looked like an indoor music room—there was a dusty piano, plenty of old busts of famous composers. But music wasn’t my subject, and I didn’t know any of their names.
“Whatever you think I did, I hope it was awesome. If it’s something boring like tax evasion, I’m going to be rather cross. If I didn’t have the decency to enjoy my crimes, I’d at least think I would be clever enough not to get caught.”
She shoved over a musty stool, raising a little cloud of dust as she did so.
This is why I wear the coat. I sat down, nodding. “Well, it was certainly exciting. Grand theft of a historical treasure. Fancypants would probably say you’d managed to ‘larcen an object of surpassing beauty and historicity.’ But I don’t really know what that means, so I’ll just say that somepony stole it, and you were the last one into the gallery.”
I pretended as though I wasn’t watching her very closely, like I was more interested in the piano and the old busts. But in reality I watched her every move, as carefully as I’d ever watched a pony before.
Was that genuine surprise on Calico’s face, or a clever fraud? The anger that followed certainly seemed real enough. “Fancypants sent you to accuse me?”
“No, no!” I raised my wings defensively, though the lady had done nothing threatening. “Nothing like that. I’m just questioning every potential witness. I can’t imagine why a pony in your station would steal something so rare and precious. But I was hoping you might’ve noticed something. Anything out of the ordinary.”
“Hmm…” My explanation seemed to satisfy her—but I couldn’t be sure. These noble ponies were better liars than I could ever hope to be. Even a poor, unsuccessful one probably told more lies in a day than I did in a year.
“Well, there was one of the guards. Full Iron, you know him. He was particularly obstinate that day. Made me wait outside the gallery for several minutes while he inspected the place, just to be sure. I’m never sure of what he wants… maybe he did it.”
I couldn’t keep myself from laughing again. “Believe me, if it could’ve been anyone I hope it was him. I think I know where that pony keeps his sticks.”
She actually giggled. “You should say that again when Bitsworth comes back. I would love to see the look on his face.”
At that moment Bitsworth did come back, levitating a tray of tea. I could smell the saffron before he even set it down. “Lady,” he said, bowing politely to Calico before stepping back to pretend I wasn’t there.
“Out,” Calico barked, glaring at him. “You know I don’t like uninvited guests.”
Bitsworth glared at me again, but didn’t say what he was probably thinking. “Very well, miss. Ring me if you require my help with anything. Clearing the garbage, perhaps.” He left.
Calico grunted dissatisfaction. “Sorry about Bitsworth. He’s been like that ever since my father died. Guess we all grieve a different way, ya’ know?”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I said, taking a careful sip of the tea. I half expected it would be poisoned. But I didn’t taste or smell anything strange, so I would just have to act like it wasn’t. For now. By drinking as little as possible, and watching to see if anything strange happened to Calico.
“But I did come here for a reason. If you’ve got nothing else… nothing else you might’ve noticed, or overheard… then that would make you the crown’s first suspect. Once the royal family finds out this thing is missing, I mean.”
I sounded completely confident as I said it, though of course I had no way of making that prediction come true.
But as it turns out, just sounding like you know what you’re talking about is enough for most ponies. This was apparently one of those times.
“I… yeah.” She looked away from me, seeming deep in thought. “You’re investigating this right now, aren’t you? Fancypants hired you?”
I nodded.
“So that means you’re the one who’s going to decide this investigation. Whatever you find…”
A little ambitious, but if she was going to volunteer it. I nodded again.
She rose suddenly from her chair. “Well, that decides it then. I might have heard some things. I’ve got some of my own information. But if you want any of it, you have to take me with you.”
I must’ve looked pretty foolish right then, jaw hanging open and eyes glazed over. This lady, pretty as a new tea set and fierce as an angry housecat…
“I don’t think you understand what you’re asking for,” I said, glaring at her. “This investigation is dangerous. Last night somepony tried to kill me. If you go out, you’d be in just as much danger.”
She shrugged, apparently unconcerned. “Every day is dangerous, that’s just part of being alive. That’s the reason for being alive. What’s the point of staying locked up in this cage while it wastes away around me? Besides, you don’t have a choice. I happen to know where all the stolen goods in Canterlot end up. For an… unrelated personal reason that certainly has nothing to do with pawning off my family’s treasures.”
She raised a hoof. “No, don’t. I’ve already told you enough to give Bitsworth a heart attack. Enough to ruin my whole family if you spread it around Canterlot, actually.”
She closed the distance in a flash—a literal flash of a teleport, as skillful as anything I’d ever seen. She practically jammed her hoof at me. “Come on then, partner. Let’s find a missing Opal.”
I might not be the oldest hoof in the detective business, but I knew a few things. Mostly from my reading in the Archives, which contained plenty of newspapers and fiction on the subject.
While the old papers never agreed on much, there was one salient point that remained consistent across every era.
Always keep work and play in their own boxes. Now Calico had stuck her muzzle into my work, deeper than I could get her out. She knew where the rich and famous brought their most expensive hauls. That was information I couldn’t pass up. I’d never be able to get into the same circles as a mare like this, even if her family was yesterday’s news.
I waited around in the garden for at least an hour while she “got ready” for the evening. If the butler could’ve murdered me with his eyes alone, I would’ve been dead a dozen times before she finally emerged.
I’d never seen a mare quite like her, not even on the covers of Canterlot’s most fashionable magazines.
Calico was wearing all green, the same shade as her eyes. There was still no dusting of jewels, but she’d found some white stockings to wear under the dress, which rippled whenever she moved. Sensual might’ve been a bit of an understatement.
“I don’t think…” I tried to find my words, tried to make it look any less like I was staring at her. But it wasn’t my strongest showing. “Canterlot can be a rough place, Calico. You really want to be catching everypony’s attention like that?”
“I assure you, Midnight. Catching their attention is exactly what we want. We aren’t going to some scummy warehouse. This place might be illegal, but if I didn’t look like this, they wouldn’t let us in.”
Instead of cutting across town to the lower level, we made for one of the high-class shopping areas. I got looks, dressed the way I was, but so long as I stayed close to Calico it wasn’t much of a problem. Ponies probably assumed I was her porter or something.
Eventually we reached an unmarked building, one that looked like it might be a restaurant. There were brightly lit windows on the upper floor, open with the sound of conversation wafting out. Rich folk, singing praises of each other’s wealth.
“Let me do the talking,” Calico whispered, as we lined up near the entrance. “Just agree with everything I say and don’t make an oaf of yourself. If you can avoid it.”
I wanted to snap back, but the line in front of us had melted away by then, and the eyes of the guards were on us.
They could’ve been Equestrian City Watch by the look of their gold armor and the cut of their manes. Except that there were no badges, no nameplates. They were as crooked as a parasprite farm. But who did the City Watch really serve, anyway?
“I’m here to browse,” Calico said, her voice soft and melodic. “Maybe to sell.”
“Just keep that horn to yourself, Mazuma,” barked the lead guard, an earth pony as graceful as a stack of bricks. “We see you trying to snatch again and we’ll break it off.”
Calico made an indignant sound, but didn’t dare to argue with them directly. Maybe because their accusation had some merit.
This is probably where she took the Opal once she stole it. But why is she leading me in here?
One answer to that question jumped right out: maybe because it was a trap. There were dirty guards here, who knew what they’d let happen to me?
“What about the bat?” asked that same guard, his voice grating against my ears. “How desperate are you, Calico?”
“She’s assisting,” Calico said, gesturing urgently for me to follow. And I did, sparing one last glance for the location. Just in case I needed to report it to the guards.
They don’t seem to like her very much. Maybe she’s innocent. Or maybe she’d been part of the theft, but the guilty party had cut her off from her part of the funds. That Opal must be worth enough for a whole mansion all on its own.
Stepping inside was like getting smacked in the face with expensive perfumes. I could hardly think for the first few seconds, but found my footing quick enough. Hopefully soon enough that Calico wouldn’t see me struggling.
The hallway beyond was wide, and lined with paintings that were both fancy and nondescript. They weren’t trying to draw attention the way the Fancypants collection did. It was a far more austere display of wealth, meant to put the wealthy at ease without bothering them much with details.
“You said that thing was magic, right? That means we want the basement.” She turned down a side-passage, away from an open ballroom with its own live orchestra. Was that Blueblood through those doors?
But I didn’t get a good look, because soon we were sweeping down a gloomier way. Somewhere she could have me killed quietly. I didn’t see any guards in this passage, but that didn’t mean they weren’t lurking somewhere nearby, ready to spring the instant we were far from the party.
“Hold it,” I whispered, before stopping dead in the hallway. “I’m not going one more step before I get an explanation from you, Calico.” Not that it wasn’t nice walking behind her. The things I’d seen…
She turned, grinning innocently. But when she spoke, it was in a whisper. “I already told you. This is a gray market. Everypony pretends what happens here is legal, but we both know it’s only because they’re the ones signing all the laws. I know a guy down in the exchange who might be able to get us a look at the register. See where that pearl of yours went.”
“Opal,” I muttered, annoyed. But I was sure she knew that. I didn’t see any signs of hostility or deception from her. I couldn’t smell anything either. Apparently Calico believed what she was telling me.
But if I was wrong, I might not walk out of here to tell anypony.
I’m not going to be the best by playing it safe. Somepony has to find that thing.
“Okay,” I muttered, defeated. “Let’s find your pony.”
The basement didn’t prove to be a secluded place to get me killed, anyway. Down a spiral staircase were another half-dozen guards, each of them looking profoundly annoyed to be seeing Calico.
They scanned us over with every enchantment in the book, then let us into a cold room I was positive had been a dungeon. I could still see some of the bars, rusting quietly away in the corner.
There was a sort of vault down here, with shelves behind it stacked with all sorts of oddities. A little like the Archives, except without the organization and with a great deal more reek of blood.
There weren’t any other clients down here, or at least none that I could see. So there was no one to stop us from making our way over to the proprietor, protected as he was behind the steel bars of one of the cells. They’d locked him in with all the merchandise, but there was an opening on the counter in front of him, big enough to pass bits back and forth.
Presumably the bars would be enchanted too, to stop unicorns teleporting in and out. But I wouldn’t be able to test it. “What a night. Calico graces me with her presence again. What can I get her tonight?”
“Looks like you’ve got some great stuff, Laissez Faire,” Calico said. “But I didn’t come for goods tonight. I’m here for information.”
“There is no difference.” Laissez Faire lifted a thick sheaf of papers from under the counter, though he kept one hoof on it. Just out of reach. “One is just more tangible than the other. What are you looking to buy?”
She looked back at me. I stepped up beside her at the counter, feeling the weight of old wood under my hooves. Sounded like the misery of who knew how many ancient ponies might be trapped underneath as I walked across it.
“I’m looking for something that went missing,” I said. “Soma Opal. Do you know anything about it?”
I could see the change on Laissez Faire instantly. His whole body went taut with energy, and there were a few flickers of sparks from his horn before he managed to suppress them. The answer was yes.
“No,” he said, glancing once at the guards behind us. To my surprise, they took a step back, resuming their patrol of the outside. “And trust me, neither do you.” He tapped the side of one of the crates beside him. I recognized the logo--it was the same one I’d seen in the ledger I’d snatched from Supply Chain. It belonged to the one whose name was at the top of Golden Bliss all over Canterlot. A pony named Delirium. From the cut of the profits Chain had been sending them, I guessed they must have quite the weight to swing around.
He turned, meeting Calico’s eyes. “You didn’t just ask me about that, Calico. You get me? Nopony knows about that. Ponies who try to find out more than they should, well… bad things happen.”
Calico looked sideways at me, eyes widening. She was afraid. Well, that made one of us. I wasn’t going to give up now. Laissez Faire knew something, and he was going to tell me.
I leaned across the counter, grinning at him with both fangs. That was intimidating to non-bats. This unicorn was not immune, I could see the twitch on his face. “Listen. The ponies looking for it go all the way to the top. It’s better for everypony down below if they help us. Maybe that changes the way things end. With royal compensation, instead of in a royal cell. Get me?”
Calico kicked me with one of her hind legs, hard enough that I was actually staggered. “Midnight is a bit of an idiot,” she said. “You didn’t hear that.”
“Wish I hadn’t,” Laissez Faire said. “But that isn’t the way this works. Sorry Calico. Nothing personal.” He kicked something under the table, and the ground went spilling out from under us.